* Posts by Robert Ramsay

575 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Sep 2006

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FCC fingers Comcast VoIP favoritism

Robert Ramsay

perhaps this is why

Microsoft just dumped all their Comcast shares.

Google AdWords: 11 herbs and spices revealed

Robert Ramsay
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@Andrew Moore

I had too many suspicious happenings when I tried Adwords. The one that sticks in my mind is the fact that when I had one search term that got the majority of clicks, suddenly the minimum bid on that item went up by a factor of six! "You can up your minimum bid or never see your search term again". I stopped using adwords soon after that.

Will magnetic switching by light keep storage vendors spinning?

Robert Ramsay

Maybe after the recent news about their CEO etc.

it won't be Seagate doing it.

US woman says Ubuntu can't access internet

Robert Ramsay

@Silly me but

I'm pretty sure that if her technical skills don't run to finding out anything about the comp she just bought, she's unlikely to have the initiative to go out and buy a copy of Windows.

Lords, MPs go down on to the Erotic Awards

Robert Ramsay

Any fule kno...

that the minute you ban something, you just send it underground and make it more open to exploitation by the unscrupulous.

NASA announces 'name the inflatable Moon tent' compo result

Robert Ramsay

they should have called it "Zappa"

that is all. Thank you.

Council to crack down on Cracknuts Lane

Robert Ramsay

I was amused to find

An ordinance survey map with a place called "Fulking Hill" - and it's only a couple of miles from "Bushy Bottom"

Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah set for top two spots in Christmas Day charts

Robert Ramsay

if it's important...

Then you should all go and watch John Cale's version on You-Tube.

Robert Ramsay
Coat

And remember folks...

...Christmas is all about tolerance, love and goodwill. But you wouldn't know it from reading this lot.

Adobe sales are flat in tough market

Robert Ramsay

As Henry Ford said:

"With every dime you remove from the price, a whole nerw stratum of customers is revealed"

Adobe need to remove quite a large number of dimes from the price. I speak as one of the few people to have actually *bought* their damn software...

NAND flash follow-on technology

Robert Ramsay

hold on a cotton picking minute...

Did I just read that they can turn graphite into diamond?

Virgin Media opens bandwidth choke for 50Mb launch

Robert Ramsay

maybe I've been lucky

...but our old 2Mb connection that they upgraded for free to 10Mb actually hits 10Mb (when you use the right bits of the internet) and it works almost all the time. (i.e. glitches every six months or so)

Also, on the odd occasion that we've had to phone them (someone busted open the fibre cabinet down the road and chucked the remains of a takeaway in it) they've been quite speedy and remarkably non-scripted.

Pret customers get free Wi-Fi

Robert Ramsay
Thumb Up

My local Costa...

...does free wifi - you just ask them for the key and away you go.

Malware authors play Mario on Daily Mail website

Robert Ramsay

@David

"On a serious note, if this can be done to one advertising network, what's to stop it being done to another (ie phorm)?"

I think phorm have cut out the middle man by hosting their dodgy servers in Russia.

Lord Lamont joins Phorm board

Robert Ramsay

Norman Lamont = Gordon Bennett

Well if that isn't the absolute kiss of death for Phorm, I don't know what is. The man who played "chicken" with the entire finances of Britain against the EU and lost.

Why is information delivery so bloody hard?

Robert Ramsay

Why is information delivery so bloody hard?

Because you have to have people at the other end who want to/can understand it. This kind of person is sadly lacking.

Satanic net neologisms - nominations invited

Robert Ramsay

blogosphere, plx and "u" instead of "you"

Those are wot we hates, precious, yes we does

RISC daddy conjures Moore's Lawless parallel universe

Robert Ramsay

Thank goodness

Its nice to read an article about something that doesn't make me feel stupider at the end than I felt in the beginning.

NASA's lost toolbag filmed from Earth

Robert Ramsay

@Allan Rutland

...or a star-mangled spanner...

(Apologies to Arthur C. Clarke)

Jerry Yang - Slugworth to Google's Willy Wonka

Robert Ramsay

"Chief Yahoo"

...buy that man a dictionary.

"an uncultivated or boorish person; lout; philistine; yokel."

XML daddy eyes code riding storage metal

Robert Ramsay

I was surprised to find...

...that Gemstone still exists...

but he is right. ORM does suck. Or rather you will think it's great until you need it to perform like an actual OO database. And then you find that no amount of mapping will let you join 12 tables together in less than geological time.

Deleted

Robert Ramsay

well...

"we prefer to contemplate just exactly how Kurkova lost her navel in the first place."

She probably has it in a jar on her desk.

Geek Wheels touted as the ultimate tech scooter

Robert Ramsay
Joke

I notice...

...that the photo shows the electric cable to power everything trailing off to the back, guaranteeing that you won't get more than a few yards before pulling the plug out...

El Reg seeks top net neologism

Robert Ramsay
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Roflcopter

I've always liked that one :-)

Happy Birthday, Turing's universal machine

Robert Ramsay
Boffin

<puts Goedel hat on>

Technically, Goedel proved that mathematics could not be both complete *and* consistent. We went for the second one.

Chips are down for Transmeta

Robert Ramsay

I thought...

the reason they were famous was that Linus Torvalds was working for them at the start...

'Ruggedised, weaponised' raygun modules now on sale

Robert Ramsay
Coat

Sorry, but...

I'm still laughing at "Blind mating interface panel"...

Linux weaktops poised for death by smartphone

Robert Ramsay
Stop

There's one vital thing here:

Screen size. "Smartphone" implies something too small to see properly without special reformatting (thank you Opera Mini) where as "Netbook" (or "Minibook" or whatever) has a screen big enough to use. If it's small enough to fit in your pocket, its screen will be too small for a large percentage of anything you would normally use a computer for.

And then there's the keyboard...

Retro piracy - Should the Royal Navy kick arse?

Robert Ramsay
Joke

They've obviously...

...never seen Under Siege...

"A typical modern day sailor - say a radar operator or a cook - may be little handier in a face-to-face fight than a civilian"

Texas cop tasers himself

Robert Ramsay
Joke

It's almost a Monty Python sketch...

"If I don't come quietly, I shall have to use reasonable force on myself!"

ISP boss pledges to undermine Great Aussie Firewall

Robert Ramsay
Joke

As Dilbert once put it...

"Every time a kid manages to get through this filter, we'll be publicising it ..."

"I hope that wasn't the sound of eyeballs getting really big..."

BT Global Services boss falls on sword

Robert Ramsay

Ian Livingstone, eh?

"If your profits turned out not as expected, turn to page 78"

Beeb cans TOTP Xmas special

Robert Ramsay

@Dave Gregory

Are you Dave Gregory who used to be in XTC?

Berkeley boffins save Moore's Law

Robert Ramsay

Productisation...AAAAAARRRGH!

That is all. Thank you. Try the fish.

Government tied in knots by bondage protest

Robert Ramsay

I think the government's been very naughty...

And we all know what happens to naughty children, don't we...?

Dawkins' atheist ad campaign hits fundraising target

Robert Ramsay
Flame

Atheism v Religion

I believe people should be free to have whichever imaginary friends they like.

To quote Ben Elton: "If you try and make people think, the only thing they're gonna think is what a patronising bastard you are."

Top prosecutor warns against growing state power

Robert Ramsay
Unhappy

"Fully debated"

*always* means lipservice to attempt to placate the opposition.

You can always tell how stupid someone is by how stupid *they* think *you* are.

Holy f**k, Microsoft covers up ‘undesired’ words

Robert Ramsay
Coat

What about...

...Dick van Dyke?

US teen admits to 'Anonymous' DDoS attack on Scientology

Robert Ramsay

@Scott Mckenzie

I refuse to listen to your words!

Boffins conclude machines still not quite people

Robert Ramsay

Are the machines getting smarter...

...or are the humans getting dumber?

OpenOffice.org overwhelmed by demand for version 3.0

Robert Ramsay

sounds like a great idea...

your server goes titsup for some reason, and you blame it on "unprecedented demand"...

Scotland Mountain Rescue turns on Ofcom

Robert Ramsay

either you didn't look very hard...

or they've suddenly put up a complaints page in panic :p

http://www.ofcom.org.uk/complain/288203/

Serial troll bitchslaps Reg hack

Robert Ramsay

correct me if I'm wrong...

but AFAIK, "smoking pole" means sucking dick. Not sure why you'd need to be a hippy for that, but you can be pleased that in addition to all the other mad things, he's accused you of being not just hippies, but openly gay hippies.

Cisco borgs Jabber

Robert Ramsay
Alert

spokesman needs to be shot

"Our intention is to be the interoperability benchmark in the collaboration space."

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! DIE!!!!!!!!!!

University offers one-day Jedi course

Robert Ramsay

Of *course* they don't provide lightsabres!

everyone knows that you're not a proper Jedi unless you build your own!

Microsoft's .NET goes Web 2.0 with Sadville

Robert Ramsay

The Reg's attitude to Second Life...

...just reminds me of Quentin Crisp's old adage that the worst of the gay-bashers were usually latent homosexuals themselves...

Russell Crowe to play Bill Hicks?

Robert Ramsay
Thumb Up

Good one Sarah Bee :-)

"Wellll, lookee here, we got ourselves a reader!"

U2 tracks disappear from YouTube

Robert Ramsay
Coat

Cui bono

who profits?

1&1 botches Microsoft Exchange update

Robert Ramsay
Thumb Up

I also have to say

...that I've been with 1&1 for over 6 years now and I've only experienced one short email outage in which time nothing was lost. tinyfish.org has been running on it for two years without a problem.

I am not connected with the company, they haven't paid me, etc. etc.

Rogue trader's apprentice under investigation

Robert Ramsay
Coat

Always two there are...

...a master and an apprentice...

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