Posts by Robert Ramsay

The Reg takes a trip over the New Edge. Mmmm... New Coke with extra fizz

PDF's on Edge

Edge saved my behind recently when Firefox's PDF renderer printed my document with loads of scribbles over the text. Edge rendered AND printed it perfectly.

Huawei very happy to be on Map Of Tasmania

Cheeky Amanda Palmer reference?

Inquiring minds need to know...

Google tells popup ads to p*** off on mobes

Goodbye to...

pinterest, instagram, facebook

(if you're not logged in)

Dark scientists' LUX-ZEPLIN doubles down on WIMP hunt

Dark matter is gravitons leaking through the bulk from parallel universes.

All roads lead to Rome as Irish seminary gripped by Grindr scandal

As the old joke goes...

"It actually says *CELEBRATE*!!!"

When Capita job ads go BAD

more common than you might think...

Just type "Yorkshite" into Google :-)

JFrog's marriage made in ... well: Internet of Things, meet DevOps

I thought the guy's speech was actually a bot.

So. Why don't people talk to invisible robots in public?

I don't understand

They seem perfectly happy to shout their heads off in a phone conversation!

Hacked in a public space? Thanks, HTTPS

Costa Wi-fi

Last time I tried to connect to the local Costa wi-fi, it wouldn't even let me establish a secure link to Google. Needless to say I fired up my phone's hotspot instead.

Radiohead vid prompts Trumpton rumpus

Life On Mars got there first.

Is it Gene Hunt? Is he beating up a nonce?

Remain in the EU and help me snoop on the world, says Theresa May

Guess What?

The EU are in the process of deciding whether our mass surveillance is illegal or not. I'm guessing this is what her rubbish dog-whistle is actually about. Unless she really wants to torture prisoners.

FOUR Avatar sequels

Unobtanium?

Fuckoffium more like!

Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

As Michael Palin put it in "A Fish Called Wanda"...

"Good."

Mystery Kindle update will block readers from books after Wednesday

Re: Not very user friendly

I have two keyboard Kindles in my house - one of them updated without a hitch, the other one stubbornly refused and had to be USB'd into submission...

Why should you care about Google's AI winning a board game?

As Emo Philips said...

"Luckily, it proved not to be so proficient at kick boxing..."

You say you're an Ansible expert, wise guy? Come and prove it

As Douglas Adams put it:

"Have you found a solution?"

"No - but I've got a NEW NAME for the problem!"

Eurovision Song Contest uncorks 1975 vote shocker: No 'Nul point'!

Good idea!

Just a shame they had to wait until after Terry Wogan died! He stopped presenting it because of the dodgy voting blocks...

What would happen if Earth fell into a black hole?

Black Hole Firewalls

...or we might all vanish in a brief puff of smoke...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/black-hole-firewalls-confound-theoretical-physicists/

US rapper slams Earth is Round conspiracy in Twitter marathon

So this is where we are...

To get publicity for your career, you have to look like an enormous dickhead on purpose instead of by accident, as is usual.

Four Boys' Own style World War Two heroes to fire your imagination

Despite helping found the KKK...

Nathan Bedford Forrest. Sorry to copy from Wikipedia, but...

" In the battle of Fallen Timbers, he drove through the Union skirmish line. Not realizing that the rest of his men had halted their charge when reaching the full Union brigade, Forrest charged the brigade single-handedly, and soon found himself surrounded. He emptied his Colt Army revolvers into the swirling mass of Union soldiers and pulled out his saber, hacking and slashing. A Union infantryman fired a musket ball into Forrest's spine with a point-blank musket shot, nearly knocking him out of the saddle. Forrest galloped back to his incredulous troopers. A surgeon removed the musket ball a week later, without anesthesia, which was unavailable."

" In December 1862, Forrest's veteran troopers were reassigned by Gen. Braxton Bragg to another officer, against his protest. Forrest had to recruit a new brigade, composed of about 2,000 inexperienced recruits, most of whom lacked weapons. Again, Bragg ordered a raid, this one into west Tennessee to disrupt the communications of the Union forces under Grant, which were threatening the city of Vicksburg, Mississippi. Forrest protested that to send such untrained men behind enemy lines was suicidal, but Bragg insisted, and Forrest obeyed his orders. On the ensuing raid, he showed his brilliance, leading thousands of Union soldiers in west Tennessee on a "wild goose chase" to try to locate his fast-moving forces. Never staying in one place long enough to be attacked, Forrest led his troops in raids as far north as the banks of the Ohio River in southwest Kentucky. He returned to his base in Mississippi with more men than he had started with. By then, all were fully armed with captured Union weapons."

From alchemy to brain-hacking: How to be better, forever

Brainhacking

So magick is becoming "respectable" now they are calling it "brainhacking"?

Linus Torvalds targeted by honeytraps, claims Eric S. Raymond

That photo...

Which one's him?

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

"Armando Iannucci's TED talk on reincarnation was well received"

It's 2015, and someone can pwn Windows PCs by inserting a USB stick

Thank you for this useful service

Please can you do this list every Patch Tuesday? It's really good to see the list of fixes without having to go back and forth to Microsoft's KB for each one.

Virtually no one is using Apple Music even though it is utterly free

Re: No thanks

your ipod on shuffle play must sound like Spike Jones and his City Slickers! :D

Cops turn Download Festival into an ORWELLIAN SPY PARADISE

We've bin spendin most our life

...livin in an Orwellian spy paradise...

A 16 Petaflop Cray: The key to fantastic summer barbecues

Misunderstanding

I thought you meant the Cray ran hot enough to cook your BBQ on it...

Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

Bwahahahaha!

Remember, kids, being a fuckwit is independent of race, creed or colour!

Although one of these three will give you a head start!

FBI to WordPress users: patch now before ISIL defaces you

Requires a valid nonce?

I hope it's just my out of date terminology knowledge...

Faux ‪pro-IS Facebook‬ shot down within hours of launch

That photo you used...

...always makes me think "We're the knights of the round table, we dance when e'er we're able..."

'Utterly unusable' MS Word dumped by SciFi author Charles Stross

I put in another vote for Scrivener. It's cheap, designed for the job and you can use it on more than one of your own machines.

TalkTalk may begin making 'Three style' low-cost mobile moves

I just hope the poor fucker in the picture got paid loads for having to do that pose :-/

Watch it: It's watching you as you watch it (Your Samsung TV is)

"I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, Dave"

Smartphones don’t dumb you down, they DUMB you UP

Re: GIF

"Have you come far?"

"I hit the headboard once."

Re: whatever to the great British tradition....

I just tried to retweet that.

'Revenge porn' bully told not to post people's nude pics online. That's it. That's his punishment

Please please get his hairy bumhole face off the front page.

Hola HoloLens: Reg man gets face time with Microsoft's holographic headset

Re: "You hold a fist in front of your face, raise a finger vertically, then roll it back down."

I believe this is what you are looking for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtuuFppENS8

El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

Please could you make the active link cover the whole top bar and not just the bit in the middle with the text on it? Ta!

Boffins: We have found a way to unlock the MYSTERIES OF SHEEP from old parchments

Full marks

for the excellent phrase "peeling a handy sheep"

You stupid BRICK! PCs running Avast AV can't handle Windows fixes

Anti-virus

Can anyone recommend Windows antivirus that doesn't suck donkey balls and/or suck up all your resources?

Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

Giant bank IT cockup of 2012 'could have brought down ENTIRE financial system'

...again...

'You have no right to see me naked!' Suddenly, everyone wakes up at the Google-EU face-off

Re: Actually

Could I see a picture of him clothed before deciding?

Tim Cook: The classic iPod HAD TO DIE, and this is WHY

I'm getting a Fiio X5 for my birthday.

That is all, thank you.

Planning to fly? Pour out your shampoo, toss your scissors, rename terrorist Wi-fi!

My hotspot is called "Google Surveillance" and no-one's ever bothered me at an airport :-)

Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots

I really enjoyed it.

And I didn't roll my eyes once. Lots of excellent, inventive bits. Mixing humour and horror like the best stuff. And the monsters were genuinely scary and exciting. And it's taken me until last episode to realise that I didn't like Clara because she was previously (and probably will be again) written TERRIBLY. These last two episodes she actually came over as an actual person.

Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape

Re: NIght Light

God bless wikipedia...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Birdhouse_in_Your_Soul

Antarctic ice at all time high: We have more to learn, says boffin

I like to think that all the warming we're doing is counteracting a new ice age which we should have had by now :-)

'Bill Gates swallowing bike on a beach' is ideal password say boffins

"Where now for Mark Zuckerberg raised by badgers?"

Three photons can switch an optical beam at 500 GHz

But...

...what happens if any of the three photons falls out and rolls under the sofa?

Moto 360: Neat gizmo – if you're a rich nerd

Purposes

since phones are now getting way too big, put it on vibrate and shove it up your arse?