Posts by Nicholas EGF Berry

Microsoft's Teams goes to bat for the other team with preview on Linux

Wot?

How does one "plug a niche"? I mean, one could plaster over it, but it's hardly plugging, and why on earth would one want to do it? What would be the point? Is the statue in it peeing or something?

LOHAN cops a faceful of smutronyms

FONDLE

Free Orb Non-Destructive LOHAN Equipment

2012 in tech: Apple up the Cook without a paddle, ARM, slab wars... and MORE

"ram amuck", really?

nt

20 years of GSM digital mobile phones

"... followed that summer for over half the price ..."? "Less than half the price", perhaps.

AT&T defends FaceTime price gouge

I assume 'tortious' was meant to be 'tortuous'.

El Reg posts dirty pics for old computer buffs

7

looks like some DDL thing.

So what's the worst movie NEVER made?

My entry

You don't need more than the title - "Mel Gibson's "The Life of Baal Shem Tov".

Pull the plug on Pandas, declares BBC man

Where have all the pedants gone?

I can't believe some sad git hasn't pointed out that they're not bears. Oh, now one has.

Could Sadville break the internet with nakedness?

Ursula?

Is this a cunning bilingual pun? Ursula, from the Latin ursus, bear - bare?

Bacon sarnies cure hangovers: Official

Bad news for porkers

I take exception to 'bad news for porkers'. There are two types of pig; porker pigs, bred for pork, and baconer pigs, bred for bacon. So that should be 'bad news for baconers'.

Euro ion-rocket sat launch success

WW III

Bet it crashes on the White House - Oleg, you stupid bastard, I told you to reprogramme that!

Ice in fuel feed caused Heathrow 777 crash

Hmm

One flight from Beijing, one from Shanghai - I suspect melamine in the fuel.

Google cedes Belgium to Germany

Wot happened to Morecambe Bay?

That buggers Morecambe's tourist industry - seems it's now miles inland.

Portsmouth Historic Dockyard: Further poster outrage

Flags

For those who can't be bothered to check the flags:

Original - D I S C O V E R

New - B E N D O V E R

That 'Elderly Persons' sign: Can you do better?

Kyphotic?

Huh? The closest the OED has is 'kythe - Illustration of Forms', but that can't be it.

Hasbro kills Colonel Mustard in the corporate office with the marketing ploy

Pedantry

"...I always thought the revolver was a pistol."

True, but they're not the same thing. A revolver is a pistol, but not all pistols are revolvers.

Tux, 'cos I like bird meat.

Bill Gates exposed as closet Yorkshireman

Now I understand

why I hate the bugger - Blackburn born, and proud of it.

Penguin, because it's about Bill

North Carolina will pay IBM $750,000 for 10 jobs

I mean, really.

"After all, the food and strip clubs are quite a bit better up North."

What? The FOOD? They don't even have grits in New York, never mind collared greens. And the fried chicken is frankly crap.

DARPA working on T-ray spyeye spectacle tech

Neat!

Wow!. Neatamundo!. I make that 18% adjectives - and an amazing 27% if you include adjectival use of other parts of speech. Awesome. Journalism at its best. Herman Melville eat your heart out.

(Not including DARPA quote)

Bond - Fleming expo opens at Imperial War Museum

Ultra

The great majority of Ultra intercepts were Luftwaffe, not naval - naval enigma was a huge pain to crack.

100Mbit/s sewer broadband rollout coming your way

Shurley shome mistake?

"The final decision on who'll get the maiden rollout is set for April ..."

Shouldn't that be 'midden rollout"?

Public-private shoe-in wins Birmingham contract

The other shoo drops

Maybe shoo-in?