* Posts by Bill Smith

22 publicly visible posts • joined 22 May 2007

US Congress to vote on in-flight mobile ban

Bill Smith

@ James Geldart

Your forgetting something dipshit, no one asked you to breed - in fact, I suspect your the kind of person that we should make sure doesnt breed - you want brats, fine have them but keep the little fuckers to yourselves - why do arseholes like you think you have some kind of right to inflict them on the rest of us and dont give me that shit about 'they are the future'.

Bill Smith

Never mind phones

Ban babies please please for the love of <insert name of favorite invisible friend here> ban babies, oh and drunks as well - I was on a flight from the middle east and some brat screamed the whole flight and its stupid cow of a mother just kept grinning at people as if to say 'isnt it wonderful' - no it fuckin isnt wonderful!!

Greenpeace: UK gov trying to strangle wind power

Bill Smith


Wind power doesnt work - we cant produce enough electricity from wind, added to which fact that if the wind dies down, wind turbines need a backup supply - enter coal power.

Alternatives: put a wind turbine in front of every green's gob, that should keep the country powered for years.

UK ISPs agree to menace their filesharing users

Bill Smith
IT Angle

@ Brian Gannon

Cant we use something like TOR to obfuscate the IP address

The New Order: When reading is a crime

Bill Smith

Best stop reading then

Under s.58 of the Terrorism Act 2000, a person commits an offence if they “possesses a document or record containing information”… “of a kind likely to be useful to a person committing or preparing an act of terrorism”.

Doesnt this mean that keeping a copy of Encyclopedia Britannica is now a crime?? (and with the word 'Britannica' in there surely theres a racist angle that could be exploited).

Want to buy Jacqui Smith's ID?

Bill Smith


Who would want to be Jacqui Smith? After all she is the most useless twat in a useless government.

UK.gov plans central database for all your communications

Bill Smith


For fucks sake, how will you tie URL's to a person - Mr A goes to cybercafe A and goes to A.com then he goes to cybercafe B and goes to B.com - how the fuck do you tie them together. I have said it once and I will keep on saying it, keep parasitical politicians away from computer technology, they dont understand it and never will. Wankers!

Natasha Henstridge braces for Impact

Bill Smith


I wouldnt worry about it, if a dwarf or anything else threatens us, Gordon Brown will take immediate steps to tax it because thats the only way the British government can deal with a problem.

Sales slide at PC World, Currys

Bill Smith


When you take back a 'computer' for the inevitable repair, the first thing you are asked is 'have to done a system restore' - well, no actually, since its the power cable thats at fault - you must do a system restore or we cant take it.

Dullards, get thee hence to Tesco for your shelf-stacking training.

Official: OOXML approved as international standard

Bill Smith



Sun will swallow Earth: Official

Bill Smith

That long

7 billion years eh? so about as long as an episode of Hollywanks then

Home Sec in anti-terror plan to control entire web

Bill Smith


For the love of (insert name of favorite invisible friend here), who gives a toss what the useless gits say. They dont understand computers and the internet, they never have and they never will. Stop taking them seriously it only encourages them.

Showdown over encryption password in child porn case

Bill Smith


Authorities raid Ikabod's house knowing he is part of a terrorist group. In his house they find a computer which they suspect holds data relating to a planned attack. The data is encrypted. Do the authorities force Ikabod to hand over the keys to the encryption or do they wait..... tick tock tick tock.... oh dear, New York appears to have been the target for a radioactive bomb, oh well at least we can rest easy knowing Ikabods human rights were not compromised.....

Head banker leaves job over Muslim gaffe

Bill Smith

Banned words

are there any other banned words in the English language, did someone pass a censorship law while I wasnt looking, could the 'right-on' brigade please grow up.

Turkey probes The God Delusion for 'insulting religion'

Bill Smith

this could be interesting

see a while ago some little boys and girls got very upset when a newspaper produced some cartoon images depicting their favorite invisible friends representative - now how far will The Register go in the name of free speech (by the way, if any Americans are reading this, it would be interesting to get your views re the First Amendment and those cartoons). Personally I understand the slow-witted obesssion with invisible friends but I grew out of the need for one when I was three - guess you people have some growing to do but please do me a favour and leave us normal people out of your petty uninteresting hate filled lives or, better yet, commit suicide and go see your invisible friend early!

Geeks and Nerds caught on film lacking geeky nerdiness

Bill Smith

Waste of time

50% of al <wait 5 minutes for the twatnet to kick in> l Canadians own <wait 4 minutes for the twatnet to kick in> a P <wait 5 minutes for the twatnet to kick in> - oh fuck off I am bored now.

Yangtze river dolphin is an ex-cetacean

Bill Smith

I wonder

if all those people who are telling us that its 'natural' for species to go extinct would be so happy to see their little Charles and Chardoneys or Granparents go extinct.

Masturbating lag cops 60 days' extra porridge

Bill Smith


So he was wanking, didnt you know that all criminals are wankers, I thought it was common knowledge

Google in crusade against neckties

Bill Smith


Put a tie on the other day, went to work, placed tie on keyboard, tie did no coding can you imagine that, the tie DID NO WORK AT ALL - it turns out that it was me NOT THE F**KING TIE that did the work - is this getting through to the dull shi*es we call managers?????

75-year-old has world's fastest private internet connection

Bill Smith


Its all very well having a 40GB connection but most routers used at home only have a max 100Mb NIC so just how could she download a DVD in two seconds exactly?

Blogosphere is the net spawn of Satan: official

Bill Smith


The English language doth change and adapt to the times; thats what makes it so strong - stop bitchin

University moves to hush Facebook criticism

Bill Smith

Who cares about the opinions of students

People who dont work for a living (excepting pensioners) shouldnt expect to have their opinions listened to. Who gives a fuck what an idle useless student thinks - this is all the fault of those namby pamby 1960's liberals who thought that it might be good to 'listen' to the students - just make the bastards work!!!