* Posts by elawyn

34 posts • joined 8 Jan 2010

Why waste away in a cubicle when you could be a goddamn infosec neuromancer on £50k*?


Re: To the nay sayers

google 'Penetration testing'? but turn off images...

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'


Fun for days

I used to work for an information services division of General Electric in the UK (the US GE tho) at a field office. I was always the first to arrive. I'd just got a pot of coffee going when the doorbell rang. It was the new Managing Director there fore a meeting with the senior sales staff (None of whom would arrive for at least another hour).I sat him in the reception area, poured him a coffee and told him I could not let him into the main office since he did not have an ID badge (apparently it was his first week). Ran into him at head office a month later at some 'all hands' meeting and ended up being invited to come have a few lunchtime pints with him across the street. He was VERY appreciative of hearing the truth from the folks that actually did the work.

In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying


Targetting the ignorant?

They aren't targeting you, or almost all readers here. They are targeting those too stupid or uneducated to figure out how to block unwanted stuff. The kind that believe the BS thrown at them (LIke 'Oxyclean', which is really just a few generic ingredients, fancy packaging and advertising at ridicukously loud volume) to convince them that <insert brand name here> is so much better than a generic (or even home-made) alternative. and those too uneducated enough to do a little research and prefer to be 'spoonfed' heaping helpings of BS.

* OxiClean is sodium percarbonate (Na2CO3•H2O2), an adduct of sodium carbonate (Na2CO3) and hydrogen peroxide (H2O2).[3] This breaks down into hydrogen peroxide when dissolved in water. TAED is often used as activator

NSA sought data on 534 MILLION phone calls in 2017


I wish they'd use that stuff to track down the asshats that call my landline multiple times a day using faked caller id (especially the ones that pretend to be on the same local exchange), then send in a drone strike...

I've got way too much cash, thinks Jeff Bezos. Hmmm, pay more tax? Pay staff more? Nah, let's just go into space


I'd like to see the money spent on finding out of the way places (preferably islands thousands of miles from the mainland) and resettling climate-change deniers, anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers, anti-abortionists and other such dregs of society there.

Guntree v Gumtree: Nominet orders gun ads site must lose domain


from the article :-"an artistic concept of a tree made of guns or wood ", turned around to 'a gun made from trees or wood".

(I only posted it for a larch. I oak you liked it)


I made a machine gun out of wood once. Wooden barrel, wooden receivers, wooden ammunition.

It wooden fire!

Finally, a use for your mobile phone: Snapping ALIEN signal blurts


The universe is how big?

"[Since] the size of the Milky Way is a million times smaller than the size of the Universe,"

Was this written by a Donald Trump supporter?

Flying drug mule crashes in Manchester prison


Re: Maybe, the plods are going about this the wrong way.

prisons might be full, but Australia isn't.

Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab


Should start calling it the Falklands Island Union (hey, 'Islands' is a plural'!)

Then it could be .fku

US Air Force reveals what's inside its top-secret space plane, this time


I watched this live, since I helped fund the lightsail (got a nice 18 x 36 technical drawing signed by the team) back in 2010. Had goosebumps watching the launch.

It's one of so very few technologies that could lead to viable space colonization.

NASA robot plans mid-2020s trip: Europa. Wet, radioactive life forms (hopefully). Bliss


HAL-9000: [message relayed from monolith] All these worlds are yours, except Europa. Attempt no landing there. Use them together. Use them in peace.

Dr Hurricane unleashes FUSION POWER at Livermore nuke lab


Can someone let me know when they get it small enough to sit on the back of a De Lorean?

Short-staffed website swaps DOGS for DEVELOPERS


Can someone let me know if Playboy ever come up with something similar to this 'rewards' idea?

Colombian boffins reconstruct flight path of Russian meteor


Are sure it wasn't launched from Klendathu?

Asteroid miners hunt for platinum, leave all common sense in glovebox


Is there a market?

I'll happily buy their first 50 tonnes of platinum, delivered Earthside at $30 per tonne!

Brit boffins' bendy bamboo bike breakthrough


I made something like this as a kid. Except I decided it needed a motor as well, so I made a wooden motorcycle.

Wooden wheels, wooden frame, wooden petrol tank, wooden engine.

Sadly tho, it wooden go.

Facebook 'personal' news feed gets algorithm rejig


It could be worse. They could be posting just the first few words of all your friends updates, then when you click on 'more', you get "And first, a word from our sponsor with an exciting new offer!" and you have to sit through some marketing droids feeble attempt at a flash animation for a product you'd never buy.

LOHAN: She's low orbit and helium assisted



Strictly speaking, anything that goes 'ballistic' *is* in orbit, just not a complete orbit. If you stand in your garden and throw a rock, it goes 'ballistic' and starts to fall under gravity. The faster you throw it, the further it goes. Throw it at 7 miles per second and it's in an 'escape' orbit. Any slower and it's in a 'decay' orbit.

Semantics, gotta love them!

'3-2-1 ... Good Morning Atlantis!'


Welcome home Atlantis.,,,

All the crew on the ground should dress up in ape suits so that when the crew land and look out the window, everyone is an ape.

HP's Hurd quits quickly on sexual harassment probe


I'm in the wrong job.

Give me $ 17m, plus shares. I'll resign immediately after sexually harassing anyone!*

* except Mrs Bee. I'm not so stupid to risk that, I'd prefer to keep whatever parts still work firmly attached.

Miracle-tech that could fix almost everything: Major advance


Sharks with lasers

1. Equip shark with laser powered by a superconducting battery charged to 1.21 gigawatts.


3. Profit

London hospital hosted grumble flick shoot


Coming soon...

The 2011 'Naughty Nurses of the NHS' pinup calendar.

Probably given away free to the unemployed. DVD costs extra (possibly covered under BUPA)

PARIS in hot glue gun action


wooden wonder?

I once built a car out of wood. Wooden wheels, wooden gears, wooden engine and so on.

It wooden go!

Medical diagnoses for 130,000 people vanish into thin air




Straight violation of Hipaa Privacy and the little known Hipaa security regs. If I remember correctly, that's a $50k fine PER, plus up to ten years in 'club fed' *just*on the privacy part.

On the security part::-

1.2 Penalties

CEs that do not comply with the Security Rule requirements are subject to a number of penalties. Civil penalties are $100 per violation, up to $25,000 per year for each requirement violated. Criminal penalties range from $50,000 in fines and one year in prison up to $250,000 in fines and 10 years in jail.

Good grief, that's a 1996 regulation!

Pakistani lawyer petitions for death of Mark Zuckerberg


seems a simple answer is needed

Cut Pakistan from the Internet completely.

btw, here's my pic of Mohammed, in a dark coal mine. To save bandwidth it's only one pixel


Mobiles back in the frame as bee killers


wel of course it did

instead of making honey, the bees were too busy giving each other a buzz!

X2 triple-twirly speedcopter approaching 180 knots



if it goes faster and faster, eventually ALL the rotors will stop spinning?

Robothopter in biomimetic butterfly boffinry breakthrough


This won't do

Mr. President, we can't afford a biomemitic butterfly gap!

US Navy's plane-hurling mass driver in tech hiccup


Gratuitous pop culture reference

Insert Star Trek comment...

"Captain, we need to reverse the polarity on the Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System"

El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'



"wait, there's a US Site?"

Yes, it's a dumbed down version of the UK one!

NASA's WISE opens 'candy store of images'


"move it to one side?"

You mean, move it a few thousand light years to one side? :)

Buster's World gives Guardian Professional balloon-sized headache

Thumb Up

appropriate name?

schools secretary Ed Balls

Controversy rages over robot vasectomy reversal in Florida


I for one welcome our

un-snipping robot sterilization reversing overlords!


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2020