Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

Titanic mass grave site to be pillaged for NFTs

BOFH and NFT's

Lest we forget - I agree 100% with Simon on his view regarding NFT's...

---> https://www.theregister.com/2021/08/13/bofh_2021_episode_15/

Enjoy.

If you have a fan, and want this company to stay in business, bring it to IT now

Also had the overheated server room thing.

Luckily no damaged equipment.

There's equipment on the market which'll monitor the temperature, and will send an SMS/email/alert as soon as the temperature exceed a certain pre-set level.

Good to have.

Re: air CON

That's what lift shafts, stairwells, and open windows are for...

Simon? Is that you?

Meta cranks Zuckerberg's personal security budget to $14m while cutting everything else

What if Zuckbook folds, and there's no more money for security etc... what will Zuckboi do?

Microsoft's AI Bing also factually wrong, fabricated text during launch demo

Depending on AI's are very Bard.

Frank Herbert touched on that in his original Dune (the book).

AI will make humans too lazy to think, and when something critical happens, nobody will know what to do.

US defense forces no match for the unstoppable fiend known as Reply-All

Re: This yor folt

I followed it down the rabbit hole.

https://everwas.com/2014/01/this-yor-folt/

Wow, so they actually let AI fly an F-16 fighter jet

Skynet...

Skynet getting ready to take over.

Nah, the team from TOPGUN will beat the AI at its own game any time of the day...

Hyundai and Kia issue software upgrades to thwart killer TikTok car theft hack

I've had two theft cases with my Corolla so far.

In both cases ne'er-do-wells forced the driver door to unlock with a tool (screwdriver) and did the same with the ignition.

In the first case, the car was recovered.

Second case the ne'er-do-well abandoned the attempt as the steering gear lock was preventing the use of the gears.

In both cases I had to buy new door locks and a new ignition lock module - luckily replacing these was a doddle, no reprogramming or anything needed.

I cannot afford the loss of this car, and dread the day it will get stolen.

Bah, ne'er-do-wells.

Learn the art of malicious compliance: doing exactly what you were asked, even when it's wrong

PROTIP - if somebody asks you two or three times if you're really, really, really sure about something, stop right there, step back, and take a good, hard look at your request.

That's not a TP-Link access point, it's a… vacuum?

Now we wait for Electrolux to join the fun.

"Nothing sucks like an Electrolux"...

BOFH: Generating a report the Director can show the Board – THIS is what AI was made for

Can ChatGPT play Zork?

Google's AI search bot Bard makes $120b error on day one

EvilBinky is on its way, and it will oust Clippy, and will rule the world a la Megatron/Galvatron. Muhuhaha. Err. Oops.

go visit ubersoft.net for evilbinky

That's a bit of a Bard start, isn't it?

Beautiful punnery.

Keep it up. Makes the day better.

What's up with IT, Doc? Rabbit hole reveals cause of outage

Re: Ouch

cue FX of rabbit getting shocked, showing skellington inside etc etc etc.

You can run Windows 11 on just 200MB of RAM – but should you?

I can remember the days of running NT4 SP6 on 32Mb of RAM for better performance... and it did it quite well, alhough using IDE HDD's was a serious bottleneck.

NT4 SP6 on 32Mb RAM and on an NVMe and an i7 should give some impressive speeds, if you can get drivers to compile for WinNT...

Take the morning off because Outlook has already

The day will come when some sort of vulnerability will be detected in the O365 cloud, but when they'll try to patch that vuln, it'll bring the whole O365 cloud down... no matter what they do, the cloud goes down as soon as they patch it...

Now that will be an ELE.

Eager young tearaway almost ruined Christmas with printer paper

Re: The joy that is printing

007 was already there.

Re: Communication....

What was your username now again?

<clickety><click>

a-hup-yup, BOFH withdrawal symptoms due to lack of a regular BOFH diet.

Hi, Pakistan? You do know anyone can edit Wikipedia, right? You don't have to ask

It's things like these that makes me go lolwhut.

Shag pile PC earned techies a carpeting from HR

Any photos of that epic cubicle?

BOFH and the case of the Zoom call that never was

Re: Now I understand

One mangler's favourite line to get IT to respond quicker was "I can smell smoke, I think there's a fire in here somewhere"...

If I ever hear that line again, I'm going to instruct Reception to call the fire brigade and have said mangler deal with the aftermath.

"Have you got a charger?" he asks.

I think quickly about the cupboard full of chargers in the storeroom.

"No."

I also do the same. If $luser can't be arsed to bring his/her charger with, then I can't be arsed to get a spare one.

User was told three times 'Do Not Reboot This PC' – then unplugged it anyway

+++ MELON MELON MELON +++

Out Of Granny Weatherwax Error

Plugge Ye Universe Into Ye Anuse And Reboot

Tales from four decades in the Sinclair aftermarket: Parts, upgrades and party tricks

May Sir Clive's memory never fade.

India uses emergency powers to order takedown of BBC documentary

Realpolitik leading to Streisand Effect?

Microsoft is checking everyone's bags for unsupported Office installs

Piss off

They can piss off. What business is it of theirs whether I'm running an old copy of Visio 2010 or not?

BOFH: It's 4ft tall, heavyset, has optional fax. No they didn't take the toner!

Urrr Boss, we sure loaded six printerers...

Oh how I would love to be a fly on the wall when the grunts offload the printerers, and count only 5 instead of the 6 that was originally signed offf for.

"But Boss, we sure as hell counted six printerers, and signed off on six! I dunno what 'appened 'ere, mebbe it fell out of the door during transit?"

Brilliant.

I do not envy the poor, sad person who have to assess this workplace accident with the Boss and the printerer.

It'll be either gentle persuasion (just don't ask too many questions), blackmail (stop asking silly questions or your wife will know what you've done with her panties), or another workplace accident (now you've gone and done it, you need to be terminated).

Surely you can't be serious: Airbus close to landing fully automated passenger jets

Just one question. American Airlines Flight 191.

Could an AI pilot have saved this plane?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Airlines_Flight_191

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I cannot land this aeroplane".

Sysadmin infected bank with 'alien virus' that sucked CPUs dry

Re: sitting idle means they are using less power

Most of electricity is produced mostly by burning gas.

Save gas, fart in a jar.

Years late and 36 cores short of AMD, who are Intel’s 4th-gen Xeons even for?

16-core variant will do well in homelabbing and with cheap-ass bosses.

"Whaddya mean it only have 16 cores, and you cannot unlock additional cores?"

Flaming USB battery halts flight from Taiwan to Singapore

Re: And this is why Teslas and possibly other EVs ..

What about e-Trucks/e-Lorries, like the newest offering from Tesla?

of course they're really very coy about battery capacity, weight and whatnots, but if the truck/lorry requires 1000V as its charging current, then the batteries are quite hefty, and it will be real fun and games in trying to extinguish these, especially in a tunnel.

Full of people, vehicles and other combustible things.

Rich did an excellent review on the Tesla Truck, which raises more questions than answers :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkUxo5_R2Q0

*suicide door = special feature*

mutha* phabbing phablets on a plane!

plane going down in a ball of fire --->

CES Worst in Show slams gummi gouging, money-wasting mugs, and other dubious kit

Earl Grey, hot.

Re: Missed headline opportunity...

Time to change your metabolism and start p*ss*ng acid should your company install p*ss detectors in their urinals.

Cleaner ignored 'do not use tap' sign, destroyed phone systems ... and the entire building

Re: Operator Purée

To stand and be still on the Birkenhead drill

Is a damn tough bullet to chew...

Rackspace blames ransomware woes on zero-day attack

We are on 365 - but I urge that people do look at on-prem alternatives, purely because of administration.

I'm dreading the day when O365 also will get cryptolocked one way or the other, because all it takes is one person and one mistake.

The Guardian ransomware attack hits week two as staff told to work from home

All cryptomalware authors need to be repatriated to Mos Eisley permanently.

Techies try to bypass damaged UPS, send 380V into air traffic system

Simon would be so proud of that team.

Re: Critical

Instead of a nail, he can use an audiovisual alert fuse as an added safety precaution.

Here's a handy guide on fuse replacements and their capacities :

https://i.imgur.com/WrrEw1P.jpg

NASA may tap SpaceX to rescue ISS 'nauts in Soyuz leak

Here's hoping they got a speedy resolution of this horrific situation soon.

On the 12th day of the Rackspace email disaster, it did not give to me …

Sometimes...

...I do wonder what will happen if Big Cloudy Services like Exchange365 etc fall prey to ransomware.

Because it will not be pretty.

What's the possibility of this happening? It just take one mistake...

NASA starts assessing Orion capsule for refurb

more than 50 years since humans took that one giant leap for mankind.

I was born in 1969, somewhere in May.

So 1969 holds some significance for me.

Should they do a third trip in order to land on the moon, I'll be watching this happen, if Klaus Schwab, Terminators, or a new plandemic haven't killed me off then.

FTX's Sam Bankman-Fried charged with fraud by just about everyone

Re: How all crypto works

No magic beans?

Plant 'em and go rob the giant of his riches.

Then use propaganda to make the giant attack your enemies, then kill the giant once all your enemies are dead.

Re: Ban on what?

Just occurred to me: what if we simply ban /bailouts/? This will also ensure that *nothing* ever requires a bail-out and maybe make people think twice about who they're giving money to.

*hollow laugh*

I so wish we can implement that here in South Africa, virtually every SoE runs to daddy government when they need money for bonuses etc and call it "bailout"... or they made a big oops, and need a bailout...

"I fucked up" is not a get out of jail card.

It can be used against him.

Wonder if Hairy Potter will also testify against him?

Server installer fails to spot STOP button – because he wasn't an archaeologist

Re: Renovations

A true professional know when a tyre, some petrol and matches can do the job just as well...

Wonder who signed off on that botched paintjob? Boss's nephew who pocketed some money as well?

Re: new fitted benches had been installed over the shutoff valve

Gru and his minions' new hideout... they'll swing by any day now while you're at work.