* Posts by Alexander Vollmer

35 publicly visible posts • joined 21 May 2007

FaceTime now on patent troll list

Alexander Vollmer

Re: Prior art in Europe?

Our company used a gateway between telex and MHS, depending only on the phone number and a table mapping the service type and address, from the midst of the 80s to the end of the nineties, over time telex was replaced by SMS and fax, MHS by SMTP. It was done by the IT department and never patented, cause it lacks the amount of invention which was needed to get a German patent at that time. Obvious usage of prior art is a exclusion criterion to get a patent in many countries.

Indiana cops arrest violent 6-year-old

Alexander Vollmer

Six-year-old with limited experience

Call it non-verbal communication instead of corporal punishment, clarifies the purpose.

Bill Gates discusses nuclear development deal with China

Alexander Vollmer


Hope they do a real intense beta test and that there will be no blurring steam of death one day. My personal fear is that the BSOD is the eternal curse of all BillG projects and it needs more than four generations of development to get rid of it.

German hackers snare wiretap Trojan, accuse gov of writing it...

Alexander Vollmer

Time will tell

And now we are waiting for the German Federal Public Prosecutor to search the offices of Bavarian Government and of the Bavarian LKA. Only one deferring factor, the German Home Secretary is member of the Bavarian branch of the ruling Christian Democratic Union and who knows what he ...

It's official: Journos are dumb as a bag of IE users

Alexander Vollmer

Same procedure ...

The special task force at Microsofts has taken advantage of this case, deleting the website, annihilating the people behind the study and declaring all an hoax. We knew this methods from UFOs, Area 51 and the replacement of politicians by aliens.

Spooks made 1,061 bugging errors in 2010

Alexander Vollmer
Big Brother

They do ...

Its really the third behind MI6 using an Open Office and GCHQ with Vi-si-Calc.

BOFH: CSI Haxploitation Cube Farm Apocalypse

Alexander Vollmer

Why zip?

If you don't use zip your fly might be open and lha is underperforming last week, they should expel some redundant parts and strengthen service on the long distance flights.

States consider saner 'sexting' penalties for teens

Alexander Vollmer

And the real deal?

And what about teens fondling themselves? Still an abuse of minors?

European Council: Creating hacking tools should be criminal across EU

Alexander Vollmer

Bad news for shareholders

A major draw back for defence industry. No future development of cyber war equipment, no more stuxnet decendants. Budget cuts, job cuts and never ever cold cuts.

Creationists are infiltrating US geology circles

Alexander Vollmer

Be aware ...

"The day will come I switch off the Matrix and reboot without the creationists. And it will be a universe with less fun." That's what this bunch of levitating noodles told me last week.

Apple pilfers rips off student's rejected iPhone app

Alexander Vollmer

Handheld Device

@Ammaross Danan: I remember the late Sixties then a handheld device with an tiled array of buttons with pictures and signs was invented by Texas Instruments, the famous pocket calculator.

They should sue Apple for imitating this principle and every other company using such a handheld device with an tiled array of icons. Or may be it belongs to the descendants of Thomas de Colmar who invented the Arithmometer which can be held in the hand, has an tiled array of buttons with icons and signs on them. Its had also a wireless sync mechanism implemented, it uses the human and his voice to connect to other places in the branch to exchange data.

German docs develop remote-control stomach submarine

Alexander Vollmer
Big Brother

TSA's dream

When do they start using these at airports?

AMD CEO Dirk Meyer resigns

Alexander Vollmer

Bodge language

What they intend is "increasing shareseller revenue", someone who intends to hold his shares for more than a couple months might not be happy.

'Porn lock' heralds death of WikiLeaks, internet, democracy, universe

Alexander Vollmer

Star Trek in Danger

What about the Borg queen and Captain Picard? Cross species eroticism? Inappropriate? Banned?

Or does inappropriate mean that every statement of active politicians which isn't the whole truth will be filtered? Beautiful world, we will never hear again of ideas like porn lock.

That makes this initiative inconsistently and contradictory.

Mass mind control artist condemns El Reg to obscurity

Alexander Vollmer

Physical phenomenon

Is it a coincidence or depends it on the force of a vacuum that the part of his head is bigger in the mouth area than in the brain area?

Frenchies, Germans wave fat pipes at embarrassed Brits

Alexander Vollmer

Does this count as high speed?


Street View hits 20 German cities

Alexander Vollmer


Picasa and Panoramio are under protection of a german law allowing the free depiction of public viewable property if its non-commercial and only for private purpose.

The twenty cities and Oberstaufen have roundabout 8 million private and commercial properties, compared with 244.000 blurred ones result in the 3%. But that didn't work, cause large buildings with owner-occupied flats are blurred if only one of them asked Google to do so. Google didn't blur single condominiums, only complete buildings. I am waiting for the first complaints about that.

Our landlord advised all tenants that requesting a blurring on Street View will be a violation of his property rights and will result in indemnity cause only messy buildings and such of fringy social groups are blurred. A blurring will result in a loss of value and usability.

His estate management had done the same arrangement for the condominiums.

And don't forget, there are millions of people in Germany thinking that Street View is something like a live webcam gawking through your bedroom window.

Christians vs metalheads in FB flame war

Alexander Vollmer

Human Rights Violation

Don't they have laws against religious discrimination down under? They should sue the RSL, may be in Strasbourg for mass boring and discriminating people, there must be a single European concert-goers and if he or she is discriminated ...

US may disable all in-car mobile phones

Alexander Vollmer

Glue the mouth?

You mean a mandatory no talk'n drive rule like the no drink'n drive. If talking to the handsfree kit is distracting, every talking is distracting.

Calls for US nudie perv scanner 'opt-out day'

Alexander Vollmer

... and the outcome

The bombs are bypassing the scanner traveling not with persons but inside parcels.

iPhone makes many Aussies late/early for work

Alexander Vollmer

Office hours shifts too

Our office hours during daylight time shift from 0900-1600 to 1000-1700 and compensate the daylight saving hour. The RAZR might be designed with the same strategy in mind.

ACS:Law's mocking of 4chan could cost it £500k

Alexander Vollmer

A train is no way to salvation

If you want to travel to a country without extradition treaty, how can you use a train? Aren't all these countries in South America?

Sex Party proposes new classification system for Oz

Alexander Vollmer

Ban all the crap!

For the kid's sake there should be no depiction or visualisation of sexuality or nudity. Kids should make this experience in reality not by virtual stuff. Let them learn this by peer education. Encourage them to do the real thing and not the youthingy.com way. There is need for a School Condom Act to supply everything needed for a safer learning. Yes, ban all the crap and give the real thing a chance.

Steve Jobs in iPhone bitchslap to creationists, Tea Party

Alexander Vollmer

Health Promotion

Avoidance of masturbation results in the decomposition of body fluids and the formation of free radicals. Prevent cancer and keep your fluids flowing.

Samoan clerics finger homosexuals over global warming

Alexander Vollmer


All my gay acquaintances prefer beef to tofu, that might be the reason. Beef is one major source for greenhouse gas.

Pope makes central London no-go zone for BT engineers

Alexander Vollmer

Thats the unreasonable reason

Same procedure on every official visit of the Pope, the US President or G8/G20 meetings. But terrorists knew about this and use RC vehicles to access the ducts and hide their mobile explosion devices deep inside until the seal is placed, so they knew they can move it back and its safe cause no one would break the seal. Like a terrorist with a TSA pass key can place a bomb in every luggage without notice, cause he can open it without damage.

Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

Alexander Vollmer

Customs check

I hope they never search the heels of my shoes for the hidden microSDs which turn my empty WinNetbook into a Linux system with everything I need ... really need ... then I'm out of office.

Sorry stranger, if next time the customs officer from Oz cut your heels ... its also possible to hide an mSD in the little space above the wheels of a trolley, in the ribbon of a hat, in a wristwatch, ceramic or porcelaine figurine, everything else with a size bigger than a sugar cube.

F*ck you, thunders disgruntled fanboi Apple user

Alexander Vollmer
Jobs Halo

and the fanboi says ...

... don't bother about it, I will use one of my iProducts and buy an app in the AppStore which will do the jumping for us. That's the way Steve saves us all and the world and the tomorrow. Blessed art thou among men, and blessed is the fruit of thy lab, the iThingy.

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

Alexander Vollmer

Holy Sanction?

Will this incident result in an edict by the Holy Seat? Banning the Wii Fit from use by catholics? Or is it still suitable for priests able to control it?

UKIP suspends Scouse candidate over sado smut movies

Alexander Vollmer

No change

"politicians need to take note that attitudes of the vast majority of British people towards sex have changed"

Didnt her granda and grannie like it? Or her parents? Then I remember how I was made ... real much fun on a beach in Spain ... didnt think the attitudes changed, only the knowledge about the real behavior of people.

US gov Photoshops bin Laden wanted pic

Alexander Vollmer

Miracle - New hair growing

The older photos show him with a receding hairline, normally he must be bald nowadays. But a miracle happens, the US government thinks Osama is capable of growing new hair or visiting a hair transplant clinic in Boise, Idaho.

But the real Osama would do what every smart guy would do, hide amongst other of his kind. He is an elder arab, so where would he hide ... Madinah, Mecca ... or in the hookah cafes of London? Look out for a bald man.

Archaeologists unearth oldest known 3D pornography

Alexander Vollmer

full frontal nudity

If you have seen the front of the little thing ... detailed clitoris, wide open vagina, swollen labia ... if this is religious, its the religion of anatomists of the arousal.

Interwebs page channels Palin twaddle

Alexander Vollmer

Again ...

Sarah W. Palin - the US will have a bush again ...

Apple's Safari 3: a crashing experience for non-US users

Alexander Vollmer

Data digging, occupation, silent phone home ...

After installation found:

an active "Bonjour" service eating background time slices,

tries 6-8 times to phone home when opening a Safari window,

the "usual" problems as an alien user,

looks like adware, acts like adware, no real function yet ...

... can not trust it, cause all this is done silent without notification.

... no second try, now its a blacklisted application.

Exploding curry menaces 747

Alexander Vollmer

Packaging problem?

Might be a curry with a special foil for a roasting effect?

These foils have a strange behaviour if you exceed their radiation limits. Parts of these multilayers change their condition from solid to gas and that results in bubbles on the foil or with a heavy duty oven in bubbles on the oven ... the kitchen ... the plane?

Didn't try it with a curry, but own a 2000W and have seen the bubbles on foil. Another effect was that wet rice in a closed plastic bag on full power for 1:30 ends also in an explosion of pop rice opening the ovens door, stopping the waves and ... no damage, except the *** on the floor.

Mostly happens in a hurry not with a curry.