Posts by Yet Another Anonymous coward

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

Re: Optional?

You would trust the cabinet with crayons?

How many were eaten?

Flat Earther and wannabe astronaut killed in homemade rocket

Re: Which species of swallow?

Bloody immigrants coming over here teaching our philosophers.....

>Eratosthenes of Cyrene

I think we've all had enough of experts - and european ones at that

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save data from a computer that should have died aeons ago

As a 16 year old I did a similar one to get a university depts docs off a BBC micro with word wise (lovey word processor on a rom) and onto a pc.

Didn't get paid, but the 80s fashion model looking secretary that was lent over me and breathing down my neck as I worked was enough.....

Re: Serial Taps

Similar one with a machine that would regularly lose line feeds to the printer resulting in reports with everything printed ontop of itself.

Solution was to set the line feed to 1/64 of a line and send 64 of them, nobody notices if your line spacing is out by 1.2%

Re: One Per Desk

They also showed up in bingo places in the late 80s early 90s unning a nationwide bif prize bingo game

The self-disconnecting switch: Ghost in the machine or just a desire to save some cash?

Re: Single point of failure

That must have been exhausting for the actors to have to redo each scene an hour later

Re: Single point of failure

The beancounters suggested that they record the - 1 channel and play it back an hour later = a big saving in production ciata

Hey, Brits. Your Google data is leaving the EU before you are: Hoard to be shipped from Ireland to US next month

>Google will need a UK presence to sell ads

Unless the UK has a free trade deal in services with The Isle of Man or the British Virgin islands or Rockall

London's Metropolitan Police flip the switch: Smile, fellow citizens... you're undergoing Live Facial Recognition

The old 'looking at me in a funny way' then resisting arrest while being given a kicking by 6 offices

Hijab time

Although a black guy in a guy fawkes mask would probably cause it to explode

Forcing us to get consent before selling browser histories violates our free speech, US ISPs claim

Re: Insane world

Hey, hidden cameras in locker rooms is what the founding fathers were thinking of when they wrote the amendment

Re: Have they never heard?

Could also affect insider trading.

By buying/selling shares I am excising my free speech

Re: Have they never heard?

Waiting for the first corporation to claim it's getting married to get round the ftc objecting to a merger.

Although this should prevent any startup less than 18 years old being screwed by Oracle

Researchers trick Tesla into massively breaking the speed limit by sticking a 2-inch piece of electrical tape on a sign

Re: Mercedes, and Mazda

They'll fix that in the next update

It should have steered into the railway line, much less congestion

And they said IoT was trash: Sheffield 'smart' bins to start screaming when they haven't been emptied for a fortnight

Re: City On the Move

Remember in the 60s and 70s we expected a global nuclear war at any time. So a lot of the architecture was built assuming it would be dealt with before anyone got too unhappy

Re: City On the Move

Even the Germans couldn't be persuaded to bomb Sheffield.

They did bomb attercliffe for 5years causing thousands of pounds of improvements

Re: Something seems wonky in that sentence

>Complete disregard for humanity...

An improvement on active hatred of humanity that Blunket's council aimed for

Re: City On the Move

The important part is to blame the government, and then any member of the peoples front of Judea in the local council

Sheffield is the perfect example of why you shouldn't let politicians run things

Inept would be a massive improvement on what it was 20-30 years ago

But after the government adopted the leaf as the new currency the only way to combat inflation s to cut down all the trees.

Private equity ponies up £2m to help launch satellites from sunny Shetland by next year

Re: What was it Burns said?

He was Scottish so never saw it

Re: Ideal

>What chance a has a rocket got of staying upright long enough

The rocket will launch underground up through a circular beach house. The lack of palm trees means there is no need for them to retract for horizontal launches

I saw a documentary on it while I was a kid

Ideal

No days spent worrying if your launch will be delayed by bad weather.

Build a launch site where bad weather is predictable, if not constant

Shipping is so insecure we could have driven off in an oil rig, says Pen Test Partners

Re: Nothing new...

But not on Maersk / MSC / CMA container ships

How the US-China trade war is felt stateside: Xilinx trims workforce after lucrative Huawei sales pipe blocked

Re: Isn't It Ironic?

So the CIA should just buy Huawei, problem solved

Cut off trade with your largest trading partner to prevent the economy overheating.

Mind if I use that line?

D Cummings

Call us immediately if your child uses Kali Linux, squawks West Mids Police

A comment on t'reg that mentions thatcher, wots tha think ?

Re: Let's hope West Midlands Police learns something useful

It refers to a small number of convictions where the West Midlands Serious Crime squad obtained a false confession from somebody after their arrest

This was strictly against their normal policing procedure - which was to write a confession first and then arrest somebody of the appropriate colour later

Kali

Is the problem that it's named after a supernatural entity of Indian extraction?

Could it be safely renamed after a suitably pure Ayran deity ?

Re: Do you know someone that owns a knife?

>Do you know someone that owns a knife?

Except this is more like, do you know anyone who has some iron ore

Re: Let's hope West Midlands Police learns something useful

>applicants to be plods can be rejected for doing too well on a test

That's why they don't have Border Collies as police dogs

The MoD plod have German Shepherds because one of the team has to have an IQ > 60

While 30years ago under Thatcher they were well paid/funded and models of community engagement and cultural sensitivity

The virus curing the mobile industry's chronic addiction... and sparking an impressive algorithmic price experiment

Re: Having Oracle tell you how fantastic Oracle is.

Delighted customers ?

Except I think O**cle now sues anyone using the word O**cle, even in a positive review

Crypto AG backdooring rumours were true, say German and Swiss news orgs after explosive docs leaked

Re: Ireland?

So it was important to know, in the event of a Nato/cccp thermonuclear war in Europe, which bloc Eire would throw its military weight behind

Time to call off Mobile World Congress yet? Nvidia, Amazon and Sony all sidestep trade show over coronavirus fears

Re: Try getting home when all flights are cancelled for months

Even if there isn't a pandemic. If European airlines stop flying to China / Japan / Korea / etc as a precaution and you have 1000 of executives stranded away from work

Uncle Sam tells F-35B allies they'll have to fly the things a lot more if they want to help out around South China Sea

Re: There was a TV programme a few monthsw ago showing one of the first RAF guys to fly the F-35B...

A whole new series of books

Biggles forgets his password

Biggles and the reset link

Biggles solves the captcha

Re: Let me get this right

Yes but the British Company is Bae (America) Inc, headquarters in in Bermuda and registered in the dungeon dimension for tax purposes

Re: !!!

>superior* weapons are always bad for peace

Not necessarily, eventually you get weapons that are too valuable to risk.

In WWI that was the Royal Navy, now it is a carrier battle group or anything in the air force built after 1970

Re: !!!

>That sounds like the best outcome.

For the people selling the plane perhaps.

For the poor squaddies getting killed because they have no helicopters, transport or close air support because fighters are waycooler and the budget has been spent

Re: Let me get this right

Perhaps for the other ranks but you can't expect an officer to eat common digestives.

However because of a little side-deal BAe did, the F35 is only compatible with Dutchy Original shortbread and since the MOD budget obviously isn't going to stretch to that - the fleet is grounded

They definetly had a time machine

The manufacturers know that too. That's why that torpedo landed on Sandwich golf course.

Sandwich golf course? I didn't read that in the papers.

Of course not. There was a cover-up. The members just found a new bunker on the 7th fairway the next morning.

So the torpedoes don't work either?

- No, only the new ones. The others are fine.

The ones designed during the Second World War.

- Over 40 years ago?

- They had lots of testing.

- You can't afford that with the modern ones.

- Why not?

Well, if there's a nuclear war, it won't last long enough for the weapons to be tested.

Re: Let me get this right

And replacing the dozen cup holders sized for 64oz megagulp McSuperslurpies with a small table suitable for a cup and saucer with a ginger biscuit

>F-35 is basically a way for the US pork barrel to continue rolling

No it's much more than that. It's also a way for Britain to keep the BAe pork-scratching packet rolling

US govt accuses four Chinese army soldiers of hacking Equifax and siphoning 145m Americans' personal info

But that was the NSA getting vital information on potentially dangerous Canadians.

(sings) Blame Canada

Not just any member of the PLA. Their security was so good that only Hugh, Pugh, Barnet McGrew and Cuthbert were good enough - it kept Dibble and Grub out.

Starliner snafu could've been worse: Software errors plague Boeing's Calamity Capsule

Re: Capability Maturity Model ?

We landed on the runway within 1% of the correct altitude

Don't tell us to go Huawei, Chinese ambassadors tell UK and France

Re: "Huawei is a private-owned company, nothing to do with the Chinese government.."

And Airbus is a private company nothing to do with any European govt and Boeing are totally independent of the DoD (although in that case it is Boeing that own the DoD)

I wonder who a security prudent Chinese govt should buy airplanes from?