* Posts by Bottle_Cap

84 posts • joined 22 Dec 2009

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Dad to kids: I've decided you don't get to take over the family business. Kids to Dad: Who wants to run Samsung anyway?

Bottle_Cap

Agreed. He clearly hasn't bought enough politicians.

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Bottle_Cap

Triple E.

Still waiting for your Atari retro gaming console? You're not alone: Its architect has just sued the biz for 'non-payment'

Bottle_Cap

It's a shame - I know there's not really a need for this but it woulda been kinda cool to have.....I'd probably get the joystick at least just for old times sake. Hope (against expectation) that everyone gets paid.

Next year's Windows 10 comes bounding into the Slow Ring, which means 19H2 waits in the wings

Bottle_Cap

Ah well at least you can decide not to update? What's that Skippy?

From AV to oy-vey: McAfee antivirus has security hole of its own

Bottle_Cap

Mcafee *shudders*

FTFY :P

You know what the NHS really needs? Influencers, right guys? #blessed

Bottle_Cap

software company Kainos and cost £6.4m....

Anyone else read this as chaos?

How about *more* Nurses as opposed to those already over-stretched taking on more (pointless) work?

Nest tosses £1.5bn pension admin service agreement out there for outsourcers to fight over

Bottle_Cap

Start hoarding animal pelts folks....

Colour us shocked: Google in €50m GDPR fine appeal bombshell

Bottle_Cap
Joke

Le gasp!

Britain's rail ticket-booking systems go TITSUP*

Bottle_Cap

Re: As bad as the trains themselves

Consider yourself lucky! I have to use the line to Guildford everyday! If it's on time it's a calendar entry!

Uneasy rest the buttocks on the iron throne. Profits plunge 14% at Sky UK and Ireland

Bottle_Cap

So best part of 100 quid a month AND adverts?

Sky can just f**k off tbh.

Jokes of no more than 2 lines

Bottle_Cap
Coat

What sounds does a quantum duck make?

Quark, Quark

Bottle_Cap

How many cowboys are there in a tin of tomatos?

Non - they're all redskins

/coat

Labour says it will vote against DUP's proposed TV Licence reforms

Bottle_Cap

Nice to see a religious cult with 10 (ten count 'em!) MP's is gonna be pulling the strings.....

You can buy Windows 10 Enterprise E3 access for the price of a coffee

Bottle_Cap

In best B5 voice... and so it begins...

Utah sheriffs blow $10,000 on smut-sniffing Labrador

Bottle_Cap

Just send the PFY - can smell smut from the other side of the world!

Microsoft Surface Book: Shiny slab with a Rottweiler grip on itself

Bottle_Cap

Does it still get really, really hot like most of the surface pro 3's I've had to deal with?

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Bottle_Cap

If only I could have sat through this action-fest and not twilight....

Adblock Plus blocked from attending ad industry talkfest

Bottle_Cap

Full page ads - if I can't read the content why go to the site?

Video - auto plays (usually at full volume) a deffo no. Had an android app that used to play an unskippable video played at full volume even if the phone was on silent. Uninstalled.

Until this shit stops my adblock, ghostery and noscript remain!

PETA monkey selfie lawsuit threatens wildlife photography, warns snapper at heart of row

Bottle_Cap
Coat

Pics or..

pics or it .. oh wait...

PRIMITIVE TOOLS found near MICROSOFT headquarters

Bottle_Cap
Coat

Now at last

Primitive Tools....

we can see how winblows ME was made.....

/reasons for icon shurely obvious...

Heigh ho, oh no! Politically correct panto dumps Snow White’s dwarfs

Bottle_Cap
Joke

'De Montfort Hall's Snow White may be short on dwarfs' - this is why I read the reg, lol.

Prometheus

Bottle_Cap

At least

The Imax 3D was good I guess...

Stench of confiscated dope overwhelms Catalan cop shop

Bottle_Cap
Joke

The police union complaint says of the pungent whiff of illicit high: "What will people who come to report incidents think when they enter the police stations and smell such a strong odour?"

Well probs - 'Hey that'd be a great place for a kebab van'!

Microsoft will explain only 'significant' Windows 10 updates

Bottle_Cap
Linux

I've been pure linux at home for several years now and can't ever see myself going back to a M$ OS - I was gonna take a look at 10 - cos initial reports were sounding promising so a duel boot on a spare HD wouldn't hurt. The you shalt not chose your updates happened. The data slurping etc. Now they won't tell you what the updates they force on you actually do?

F*ck that tbh.

Linux does all my needs - especially now Valve have made steam Linux native and the few games that aren't on linux wine takes care of - a previous poster mentioned WoW - works just fine under Wine.

My 2 cents

Four phone hijack bugs revealed in Internet Explorer after Microsoft misses patch deadline

Bottle_Cap

So...

Win win it is then!

Want to find LOVE online? Make sure your name is high up in the alphabet

Bottle_Cap
Joke

Re: The ONLY scientific dating model I need

As the saying goes...

Single

Sane

Attractive

Pick any two you like!

iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Bottle_Cap

Now I for one...

Would prefer a biopic of the start of crApple - the Apple I and II etc when I actually had some respect for them...

/awaits downvote frenzy

Steve Jobs had BETTER BALLS than Atari, says Apple mouse designer

Bottle_Cap

We had those SUN workstations at my uni in the early 90's! Never got on with the trackballs - my 800XL went though a succession of quickshot II's :P

Running the Gauntlet: Atari's classic ... now and then

Bottle_Cap

One of the few later day arcase ports for the Atari 800XL - played it to death! Graphics were a bit arse but still...

Creepy battery-operated teddy bear sex toy..,sadly, this is for real

Bottle_Cap

It's the idea of the mans version of this I find scary....

Yahoo! Bids! To! Own! Your! Smartmobe! Home! Screen!

Bottle_Cap

All your phones are belong to us...? Looks handy but as previously stated doesn't do anything you couldn't do yourself at the cost of your data and yet more ads...

Facebook wants to LISTEN IN on the songs and vids playing in YOUR living room

Bottle_Cap

Surely this has to be the final nail in the fb coffin? I assume if people accept this the camera will be next..

No such luck: Apple, Samsung say peace talks are off – way off

Bottle_Cap

Make 'em sort it out Frankie goes to hollywood two tribes style! ;)

Internet rejoices over Star Wars, um, clapboard pic

Bottle_Cap

Ah it can't be any worse than the last 3 - though I never bothered to watch ep III tbf. As for JJ well I kinda liked the Star Trek movies - at least they looked liked they were made by people that had actually watched it...

Multiplayer Elite to debut on May 30th

Bottle_Cap

Heh I remember all the bad puns in the manual - Command Monty being a famous python pilot!

Time-rich Brit boffin demos DIY crazytech wolverine talons

Bottle_Cap

Hang on I've just got an itcarrgggghghghghghgh!

Urinating teen polluted 57 Olympic-sized swimming pools - cops

Bottle_Cap
Coat

So the US is now the land of the wee?

Giant pop can FOUND ON MOON

Bottle_Cap

For some reason I'm reminded of Red Dwarf here....

Boffins run iOS apps on Android hardware

Bottle_Cap

It's doubtful Apple will ever see things that way and, should Cider ever pour out into wide use, one imagines Cupertino would find a way to take it off the menu. ®

So fast it will will make their heads spin! Though why anyone would want to use itunes anyways...

Chap rebuilds BBC Micro in JavaScript

Bottle_Cap

iirc there was a keypress when you went into hyperspace that triggered the thargoids?

Bottle_Cap

Re: Elite

I tried that - couldn't get on with the awkward controls tbh - maybe it's improved since then tho'

Bottle_Cap

Ahh Elite.. the game that nearly made me fail my A-Levels! All over this tonight :)

Worst job adverts

Bottle_Cap
Joke

Anything with 'service desk' in the title?

Game of Thrones written on brutal medieval word processor and OS

Bottle_Cap

Pfft kindwords II and an extra floppy drive for the Amiga ought to be enough for anyone!

Web cesspit 4chan touts '$20 bug bounty' after hackers ruin Moot's day

Bottle_Cap

Yeah great post, Steven but on the other hand hahahaha! :P

Brit chap weaves silver bullet for wireless health scare bollocks

Bottle_Cap
Coat

So one way or another this article is about nuts?

'Bladdered' Utah couple cuffed in church lawn sex outrage

Bottle_Cap

For the love of

Dog nooooooooooooo! o-0

Denmark dynamited by cunning American Minecraft vandals

Bottle_Cap

Agreed. Hope it does increase tourism/general interest in the place. Now where did I leave that TNT....

Quid-a-day Reg nosh posse chap faces starvation diet

Bottle_Cap
Happy

Fair play

I probs busted that limit with my croissant for brekkie! A donation will be forthcoming!:)

Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK

Bottle_Cap
Coat

You can get Pr0n on the internet now? Le gasp!

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