* Posts by Scott 53

299 posts • joined 16 Dec 2009

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Scoot on over for a wheely tricky mystery with an electrifying solution

Scott 53

Re: The Bra Factory

"OK You two cleavage out right now."

You'll have to lift and separate those two.

BOFH: Pass the sugar, Asmodeus, and let the meeting of the Fellowship of Bastards … commence

Scott 53

Re: The weedy bloke

I remember a website delivered by the relative of a senior member of staff. Very soon after it went live I pointed out we were selling a product where it was cheaper to pay in instalments over five years than to pay the full amount up front. It didn't stay up long.

Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland

Scott 53

Re: Holy Progress

<coughs>

Just be careful when you do that, OK?

Scalpel! Superglue! This mouse won't fix its own ball

Scott 53

Re: Ball crud

Best to use a wrist static strap when manipulating the balls. Nobody wants a sudden discharge.

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection

Scott 53

Re: Don't cover it up!

I'm trying not to think about your angle changing.

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills

Scott 53

Tea only at number 11?

I despair of this country.

Updating in production, like a boss

Scott 53

How about working on a database where the person who defined the schema was dyslexic, and you can't assume anything is spelled as you would expect?

Terminal trickery, or how to improve a novel immeasurably

Scott 53

Re: Novel interference

You will enjoy the film "Another Round".

How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash

Scott 53

"Fanning around"?

I don't know about you, but I'm usually to be found fannying.

Belgian police seize 28 tons of cocaine after 'cracking' Sky ECC's chat app encryption

Scott 53

Huge cocaine siezure

Are they sure it's cocaine? Might be the inside of lots of Sherbet Dibdabs.

Nominet ignores advice, rejects serious change despite losing CEO, chair, half its board in membership vote

Scott 53

Re: Is this an April Fool?

No, April Fools are meant to be funny.

UK taxman is supposed to know how IR35 reforms work but still lost appeal against TV presenter Kaye Adams

Scott 53

Legalities

IANAC* but I'm sure this isn't binding on future decisions.

* I Am Not A Cat**

** Yes, that's the only reason I wrote this post

Dropbox basically decimates workforce, COO logs off: Cloud biz promises to be 'more efficient and nimble'

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: Decimation

When the article states "close to decimating", the inference is that they have got rid of slightly less than 10%. The actual figure is 11%, so "more than decimated" would be appropriate.

Boffins store text message inside E. coli bacteria using electromagnetic signal – and you'll never guess what it says

Scott 53

Re: hello world ?

That's a relief. I was expecting goatse.

'Best tech employer of the year' threatened trainee with £15k penalty fee for quitting to look after his sick mum

Scott 53

Re: How is this not fraud?

"99% of sanctions are for physical attacks on jobcentre staff"

I'm not saying I don't believe you, as fortunately my knowledge in this area is extremely limited, but I think a citation is needed here.

Dutch officials say Donald Trump really did protect his Twitter account with MAGA2020! password

Scott 53

Stupid haired bosses are all the same

https://dilbert.com/strip/2001-09-06

The nightmare is real: 'Excel formulas are the world's most widely used programming language,' says Microsoft

Scott 53

Re: Sorry but ...

This is indeed rouge software - putting lipstick on the pig of Excel.

Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets

Scott 53

Re: I wish these people had read the Gospels at least once...

"What'ya readin' for?"

Great Bill Hicks reference

Mysterious Utah monolith mysteriously disappears without trace

Scott 53

It has moved

To Romania. Who had aliens for December 2020? Gutted, because my money was on zombies.

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

Scott 53

Re: Over sensitive company intranet

I was keeping an eye out for an innuendo, but I think you slipped it in while my attention was elsewhere.

Boeing 737 Max will return to flight after software updates, says EU's aviation regulator

Scott 53

Re: Depends

"By 2019 that was down to 40 deaths per passenger kilometre."

Please tell me you just forgot to add the trillion here. I don't like those odds at all.

Millions wiped off value of Capita outsourcing deal with English councils amid 'further contract variation agreement'

Scott 53

Re: Interesting choice of words

An actuary is someone who can't handle the cut and thrust of chartered accountancy.

Japanese eggheads strap AI-powered backpacks to seagulls

Scott 53

Just a matter of time

Put AI on sharks -> put AI in sharks -> AI works out how to add lasers to sharks.

Software engineer leaked UK missile system secrets and refused to hand cops his passwords, Old Bailey told

Scott 53

Re: Fool

"How exactly does one through a book?"

Sounds like the plot of The Eyre Affair.

Transport for London data pilot: We want to keep tabs on dockless bikes and e-bikes

Scott 53

Re: Could be useful data

That's an interesting, relevant and potentially useful thought. You're new here, right?

NASA hires Nokia to build first 4G network on the Moon as part of plan to boldly go back to lunar surface by 2024

Scott 53

No point in using it to connect to Spotify

In space nobody can hear you stream

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

Scott 53

Re: Seen it wreck data loads of times

"Anything but Excel"

My answer to "What format do you want?"

Scott 53
Facepalm

Ah, CSV and Excel

I remember a conversation with a "data analyst" at a major insurance company, who was meant to send me a .csv but sent an .xls instead. Easy mistake to make, sent an email to remind him and got a .csv by return. All good so far, but the file wouldn't load. When I opened it in Notepad++ to check the format, it became obvious that what the "analyst" had done was to rename the original spreadsheet file... Because they were a customer I had to limit my sarcasm in my next message.

Big US election coming up, security is vital and, oh look... a federal agency just got completely pwned for real

Scott 53

Re: Passwords in Email

But it's OK if you send an encrypted document in one email and the password in a completely separate email - right?

England's COVID-tracking app finally goes live after 6 months of work – including backpedal on how to handle data

Scott 53

NHS app

Is this an NHS app, or an "NHS" app, as in "NHS" (i.e. Serco) Test and Trace?

He was a skater boy. We said, 'see you later, boy' – and the VAX machine mysteriously began to work as intended

Scott 53

Re: Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

"For you Brits, that's an Alsation."

Translation: Alsatian.

Fairphone thinks its fair to offer a not-very-major and slightly-more-recycled new model

Scott 53

Re: O/S

It says Android 10 on their website

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles

Scott 53

Re: Enough

I'm going to assume you mis-spelled all those on purpose. Oh, and it's "Queen's".

MI6 tried to intervene in independent court by stopping judge seeing legal papers – but they said sorry, so it's OK

Scott 53

Re: Tut tut

Tom Tugendhat may be uninterested but I wouldn't believe him if he claimed to be disinterested.

Capita Consulting ditching more than a quarter of its workforce 45 days after consultations with consultants

Scott 53

Re: Crapita

The 737 pilots were laid off some time ago

Korean boffins build COVID-bot to shove a swab right up your hooter

Scott 53

Wow

Alien meets Pr0nhub

Someone got so fed up with GE fridge DRM – yes, fridge DRM – they made a whole website on how to bypass it

Scott 53

Re: Entirely legal

Chocolate smelling distance

Happy days. Living in Selly Oak as a student, sometimes you'd smell Cadbury's (particularly nice on an Old Jamaica day) and on other days you'd get a waft from the Davenports brewery on Bath Row. Showing my age, I admit.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes: UK man gets 3 years for torching 4G phone mast over 5G fears

Scott 53

Re: @ Iglethat & "since hes proven that hes a gullible idiot"

just answer 2 simple questions

You are attempting to reason people out of a position when they haven't reasoned themselves into it. This will not end well.

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

Scott 53

Re: Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

to count as a contact you have to have been less than 1 metre away from them or between 1 and 2 metres away from them for 15 minutes or longer

15 minutes, eh? Sadly, not a problem

NHS contact tracing app isn't really anonymous, is riddled with bugs, and is open to abuse. Good thing we're not in the middle of a pandemic, eh?

Scott 53

Re: Just say no

"So the question is who do you trust most?"

More a case of who you do distrust the least?

The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help

Scott 53

Re: Not quite Windows

So 'Unkown Fatal Erro' was actually a clue to the underlying issue.

Meteorite's tiny secrets reveal Solar System's sodium-rich, alkaline liquid past – a clue to formation of life

Scott 53

Re: sorry to be pedantic

Don't worry - it's not just you.

Scott 53

Framboidal

Shaped like a raspberry. Thanks for my new word of the day.

Apple owes us big time for bungled display-killing cable design in MacBook Pro kit, lawsuit claims

Scott 53

Re: WTF every time

"Interesting as the solution for the vanishing cursor is -- wait for it - OPEN CLOSE the laptop"

I think you're the kind of person who fixes problems by turning it on and off again.

ATLAS flubbed: Comet heading our way takes one look at Earth, self-destructs into house-sized chunks

Scott 53

Re: We've had that argument before...

I once encountered milk and sugar in the teapot. Sterilised milk. I didn't go back.

The duke of URL: Zoom meetups' info leaked out through eavesdrop hole

Scott 53

Headline writing

doesn't get better than this.

Boffins examine interstellar comet Borisov to find out what its home was like. Pretty unpleasant, it seems

Scott 53

Raman?

They always come in threes

Is this an ASP.NET Core I see before me? Where to next for Microsoft's confusing web framework...

Scott 53
Headmaster

Blazor

"Blazor" is not a combination of "Browser" and "Razor". "Brazor" would be, as would "Browzor".

Fresh cup of WTF with lunch? TeamViewer's big in Twitter's domination-as-a-service scene

Scott 53

"A quick squiz"

I'd check urbandictionary before you use that phrase again. Unless that's what you meant, of course.

IBM veep partly blamed Sopra Steria for collapse of £155m Co-Op Insurance Agile project

Scott 53

"Data, data everywhere, not any byte to drink"

That's nor any byte to drink.

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