* Posts by Scott 53

322 posts • joined 16 Dec 2009


Chemical plant taken offline by the best one of all: C8H10N4O2

Scott 53

Re: Ah, but what was the coffee?

That's a latte of bad coffee puns...

Most of them were thought of in an instant.

Scott 53

Re: Ah, but what was the coffee?

It's a shame the computer wasn't robusta.

Voyager 1 data corrupted by onboard computer that 'stopped working years ago'

Scott 53

Not any more

NASA and its engineers have done a stellar job

I think it's now interstellar.

BOFH and the case of the disappearing teaspoons

Scott 53

This work has already been done


Janet Jackson music video declared a cybersecurity exploit

Scott 53

Re: Unbelievable

Irrelevant xkcd more like

Scientists find gasses from Earth in rocks from early Moon

Scott 53

Re: Sounds sketchy

Wish granted


That emoji may not mean what you think it means

Scott 53

Re: Aubergine - but where is the Star Anise?

You, er, don't want to know what the star anise emoji will be used for.

Scott 53

Re: Confusing emojis

Perhaps he was confused because you didn't say "Obrigado", assuming your gender aligns with your username.

Scientists use dead spider as gripper for robot arm, label it a 'Necrobot'

Scott 53

The Claw!

This would have given the scene in Toy Story a very different ambience.

Boris Johnson set to step down with tech legacy in tatters

Scott 53

Re: Sub-sea nukes

"reactor" and "gone critical" shouldn't really appear in the same sentence.

Soviet-era tech could change the geothermal industry

Scott 53

Re: Could this be the energy source that 'solves' energy for humanity??

It took a couple of days to get used to the eggy smell in the shower.

If there's no dog around, you have to blame the water.

Brave roasts DuckDuckGo over Bing privacy exception

Scott 53

These are not just data trackers

These are MS data trackers

Google engineer suspended for violating confidentiality policies over 'sentient' AI

Scott 53

Re: Mechanical Turk, or just a stream of 1s and 0s?

Ask it which hand it bowls with.

Asking an AI to try and understand the rules of cricket is surely cruel and unusual punishment.

The next time your program is 'not responding,' (do not) try these steps

Scott 53

Re: Cynical

Wow, a moderate moderator! Normally, or at least usually, she should have smitten you with her godly moderator powers for questioning her obviously superior wisdom in her own house.

If it was Sarah Bee you almost certainly deserved it.

Scott 53

Re: Cynical

More likely..."Top 10 INSANE ways to cure XYZ. Guaranteed!!!!"

You won't believe #7!

DuckDuckGo tries to explain why its browsers won't block some Microsoft web trackers

Scott 53

These are not just data trackers

These are MS data trackers

Microsoft Bing censors politically sensitive Chinese terms

Scott 53

Return of an age-old problem

Welcome to Lu'an, twinned with the UK town of Scun{redacted}

Confirmation dialog Groundhog Day: I click OK and it keeps coming back

Scott 53


Affect can also be a noun. Ask any psychologist.

File Explorer fiasco: Window to Microsoft's mixed-up motivations

Scott 53

Re: Re:Please tell us if the year of Linux

I was describing a colleague to my artist wife as being definitely on the spectrum. Her response? "You all are."

JavaScript survey: Most use React but satisfaction low

Scott 53

Re: "Learning how to code"

I remember making tea in the office talking to a colleague when it struck me that the T-shirt I was wearing was older than she was.

Db2, where are you? Big Blue is oddly reluctant to discuss recent enhancements to its flagship database

Scott 53


That made me chuckle, brother.

Orders wrong, resellers receiving wrong items? Must be a programming error and certainly not a rushing techie

Scott 53

Re: Punch cards?

A real pedant wouldn't have used so many commas in the second paragraph.

Facebook may soon reveal new name – we're sure Reg readers will be more creative than Zuck's marketroids

Scott 53

Re: It doesn’t need a new name

Zuck can't be a c**t. He has neither enough depth or warmth.

He can be quite slippery though.

Scoot on over for a wheely tricky mystery with an electrifying solution

Scott 53

Re: The Bra Factory

"OK You two cleavage out right now."

You'll have to lift and separate those two.

BOFH: Pass the sugar, Asmodeus, and let the meeting of the Fellowship of Bastards … commence

Scott 53

Re: The weedy bloke

I remember a website delivered by the relative of a senior member of staff. Very soon after it went live I pointed out we were selling a product where it was cheaper to pay in instalments over five years than to pay the full amount up front. It didn't stay up long.

Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland

Scott 53

Re: Holy Progress


Just be careful when you do that, OK?

Scalpel! Superglue! This mouse won't fix its own ball

Scott 53

Re: Ball crud

Best to use a wrist static strap when manipulating the balls. Nobody wants a sudden discharge.

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection

Scott 53

Re: Don't cover it up!

I'm trying not to think about your angle changing.

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills

Scott 53

Tea only at number 11?

I despair of this country.

Updating in production, like a boss

Scott 53

How about working on a database where the person who defined the schema was dyslexic, and you can't assume anything is spelled as you would expect?

Terminal trickery, or how to improve a novel immeasurably

Scott 53

Re: Novel interference

You will enjoy the film "Another Round".

How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash

Scott 53

"Fanning around"?

I don't know about you, but I'm usually to be found fannying.

Belgian police seize 28 tons of cocaine after 'cracking' Sky ECC's chat app encryption

Scott 53

Huge cocaine siezure

Are they sure it's cocaine? Might be the inside of lots of Sherbet Dibdabs.

Nominet ignores advice, rejects serious change despite losing CEO, chair, half its board in membership vote

Scott 53

Re: Is this an April Fool?

No, April Fools are meant to be funny.

UK taxman is supposed to know how IR35 reforms work but still lost appeal against TV presenter Kaye Adams

Scott 53


IANAC* but I'm sure this isn't binding on future decisions.

* I Am Not A Cat**

** Yes, that's the only reason I wrote this post

Dropbox basically decimates workforce, COO logs off: Cloud biz promises to be 'more efficient and nimble'

Scott 53

Re: Decimation

When the article states "close to decimating", the inference is that they have got rid of slightly less than 10%. The actual figure is 11%, so "more than decimated" would be appropriate.

Boffins store text message inside E coli bacteria using electromagnetic signal – and you'll never guess what it says

Scott 53

Re: hello world ?

That's a relief. I was expecting goatse.

'Best tech employer of the year' threatened trainee with £15k penalty fee for quitting to look after his sick mum

Scott 53

Re: How is this not fraud?

"99% of sanctions are for physical attacks on jobcentre staff"

I'm not saying I don't believe you, as fortunately my knowledge in this area is extremely limited, but I think a citation is needed here.

Dutch officials say Donald Trump really did protect his Twitter account with MAGA2020! password

Scott 53

Stupid haired bosses are all the same


The nightmare is real: 'Excel formulas are the world's most widely used programming language,' says Microsoft

Scott 53

Re: Sorry but ...

This is indeed rouge software - putting lipstick on the pig of Excel.

Let's check in now with the new California monolith... And it's gone, torn down by a bunch of MAGA muppets

Scott 53

Re: I wish these people had read the Gospels at least once...

"What'ya readin' for?"

Great Bill Hicks reference

Mysterious Utah monolith mysteriously disappears without trace

Scott 53

It has moved

To Romania. Who had aliens for December 2020? Gutted, because my money was on zombies.

Who knew that hosing a table with copious amounts of cubic metres would trip adult filters?

Scott 53

Re: Over sensitive company intranet

I was keeping an eye out for an innuendo, but I think you slipped it in while my attention was elsewhere.

Boeing 737 Max will return to flight after software updates, says EU's aviation regulator

Scott 53

Re: Depends

"By 2019 that was down to 40 deaths per passenger kilometre."

Please tell me you just forgot to add the trillion here. I don't like those odds at all.

Millions wiped off value of Capita outsourcing deal with English councils amid 'further contract variation agreement'

Scott 53

Re: Interesting choice of words

An actuary is someone who can't handle the cut and thrust of chartered accountancy.

Japanese eggheads strap AI-powered backpacks to seagulls

Scott 53

Just a matter of time

Put AI on sharks -> put AI in sharks -> AI works out how to add lasers to sharks.

Software engineer leaked UK missile system secrets and refused to hand cops his passwords, Old Bailey told

Scott 53

Re: Fool

"How exactly does one through a book?"

Sounds like the plot of The Eyre Affair.

Transport for London data pilot: We want to keep tabs on dockless bikes and e-bikes

Scott 53

Re: Could be useful data

That's an interesting, relevant and potentially useful thought. You're new here, right?

NASA hires Nokia to build first 4G network on the Moon as part of plan to boldly go back to lunar surface by 2024

Scott 53

No point in using it to connect to Spotify

In space nobody can hear you stream

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

Scott 53

Re: Seen it wreck data loads of times

"Anything but Excel"

My answer to "What format do you want?"



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2022