* Posts by Ian Moffatt 1

51 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Dec 2009


Double-check demand payment emails from law firms: Convincing fakes surface

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: Crimson King

As was Emerson, Lake and Palmer ;)

'Last man standing in the floppy disk business' reckons his company has 4 years left

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: Speaking Of Ancient Storage Methods .....

This last paragraph stands on its own.

Get those pictures printed!

US accident investigators want alcohol breathalyzers in all new vehicles

Ian Moffatt 1

I could never drive then. Will never be able to solve complex maths problems, even after a year of abstinence, and I dare say there are others like me.

Autonomous vehicles are the answer. They can't come quick enough. If you'll pardon the expression ;)

Boris Johnson set to step down with tech legacy in tatters

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: 37 Billions

£1B per week = £52B per year.

Or 37 weeks @ £1B = £37B.

Where did you get 3 years?

And to think I got a U for CSE maths in 1971.

The most annoying British export since Piers Morgan: 'Drones' halt US airport flights

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: Annoying Exports?

But both of them came back, unfortunately, that makes them more like boomerangs than exports.

Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: Put a heater in the safe then ?

Wasn't it the IIci that could be dis-assembled without even using tools? Everything just unclipped. excellent piece of kit to work on.

Virgin Media? More like Virgin Meltdown: Brit broadband ISP falls over amid power drama

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: I'm still waiting

They are supposed to fill them in though. Not just leave them there as an additional free of charge 'lawn feature'.

Or were you implying an /s?

Florida man sues Apple for $10bn, claims iPod, iPhone was his idea

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: @justenough

With the words Don't Panic written in large friendly letters on the front cover.

Idiot thieves walk free after stolen iPad uploads pics of them with loot

Ian Moffatt 1


Also known as a good kick in the balls - daily for the length of their 'sentence'.

Man, that iPhone 6 Plus won't fit in my pocket. Oh, here's a mobe store that'll resize my jeans

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: Good for them!

Craghoppers Kiwi trousers have had an 'inner' pocket in the leg map pocket for some years now.

A few years ago it was just big enough for an iPhone 3GS. Then a couple of years ago I bought another pair and it was big enough for an iPhone 4S. I have a Note 3 now but haven't bought any Craghoppers lately so can't report on current sizes ;-)

Thin naked model slips out of Apple's secretive lab ... it's an 'iPad Air 2'

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: All bar genius

You'll only need one as well.

Maybe two if you're plenty wet ;-)

Brit celebs' homes VANISH from Google's Street View

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: But, but, but...

Could that also explain the double yellow lines both sides of the road across the frontage of this house and not the others in the street?

I am NOT a PC repair man. I will NOT get your iPad working

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: An even better solution

Brother in love?

Apart from that, cracking idea.

Canadian astronaut warns William Shatner of life on Earth

Ian Moffatt 1

But are there...

Klingons on the starboard bow.

Sorry. But somebody had to say it.

Mysterious galactic glow caused by Hitchhikers' Krikkit style stars

Ian Moffatt 1

It'll have to go

I'll get me coat

Sarah Brightman plans International Space Station gig

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: She does know it's not quite a starship?

Good eh?

Not a Cloud in my holiday sky

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: Wot, no 3G?

Thank you. Lots of people forget that our comms are not the worst in the world - it just seems like it sometimes.

P.S Dabbsy - Panzers didn't have hubcaps. Maybe on one of those sissy boy US Army things. Never on a manly Third Reich beast ;-)

Apple adds gay and lesbian icons to iOS 6 messaging

Ian Moffatt 1

Re: This is part of the Unicode standard

1F3E9 - Love Hotel - how very polite!

What's that thing (on the Apple emoji layout) between the barber's pole and the chequered flag?

Ian Moffatt 1

Could that be because...

... emoji originate from Japan? At least that would account for the Japanese(?) characters and stereotypical westerners with their big round eyes.

And who says they are gay anyway? They might me friends.

Nothing wrong with it though - no doubt the religious wankers er, zealots of all description, not to mention the Daily Mail will be on the case. Ironically emailing from their Apple devices.

Billionaire astro mining venture long on hype and timescale

Ian Moffatt 1


Don't suppose there's any chance of calling this lot The Jupiter Mining Corporation?

I'll get me bazookoid


US nuclear aircraft carrier George Bush crippled by toilet outages

Ian Moffatt 1

Perhaps they're filming...

... another of the Hot Shots films ;-)

RIP Lloyd Bridges

Scientists discover Tatooine-style world 200 lightyears off

Ian Moffatt 1

This is not the Tattooine you were looking for

So, it's not a hot desert planet. It's a cold gas giant. Not quite Tattooine then really is it?

Murdoch muscles BBC out of Formula One driving seat

Ian Moffatt 1

Don't understand the logic here

I can never understand the logic behind comments like this. Whatever your choice of TV provider, you'll still have to pay a licence fee. If you choose to go with satellite or cable you'll just pay more to watch programmes that only require a TV and aerial to receive.

Don't forget the BBC does more than just TV. Everyone should listen to Stephen Fry's speech on the subject from a couple of years ago.

That all said and done. I would sooner the BBC spent the money on F1 (which I don't watch) than waste it on drivel like EastEnders or brain numbingly tedious Celebrity Chav Show Jumping On Ice Karaoke.

And whilst we're on the subject of BBC handing out money. I'll decide which charity I'll donate to thank you very much.

I'm no fan of that idiot Ross either.

Virgin IT dept shocked by donkey-shagging Taliban

Ian Moffatt 1

Camels? Too fast

Donkeys are slower, so it's easier to keep in step.

And they don't spit :-(

Apple ignores dozens of iCloud domains

Ian Moffatt 1

But you obviously can care less

Because you took the time and effort to post here

Apple iPad 2

Ian Moffatt 1

Hand modelling

They should have got George Costanza to do the gig

Apple iPad 2 snapped in all its skinny glory

Ian Moffatt 1


'No one cares'

Are you quite sure about that? The fact that Apple sold millions of the previous model, the world and his/her dog are making a noise about this one and to top it all, you yourself are commenting on a post about it.

Still sure no one cares?

Hack reveals passwords from locked iPhones and iPads

Ian Moffatt 1

Send me your email address

I'll send via PayPal your account immediately and even pay the postage.

Ian Moffatt 1

Please send me your email address

I'll send payment immediately (PayPal, Bank Transfer) and will also pay postage and packing.

Utah to honour Browning M1911 semi-automatic

Ian Moffatt 1

He's right you know

'He's right. People kill people. To be more specific, people with guns kill people.'

As do people with knives, people with swords, people with bombs, people with broken bottles, people with metal bars, people with cars, trucks, planes, hands, feet, planks of wood and countless other 'murder' weapons.

Ban them all!

Microsoft 'sorry' as Hotmail bug hits 17,000

Ian Moffatt 1

Cherished accounts?

'Users took to Hotmail forums pleading for Microsoft to restore their cherished accounts '

Don't suppose these cherishers had backed them up then?

It's a free service - what do they expect?

Oh dear, how sad, never mind

LHC boffins turn lead into quarko-gluotic Big Bang incrediblo-stuff

Ian Moffatt 1

It'll have a heart of gold

The ones that don't get invited to the party could always try and invent the Improbable Infinity Drive. As long as someone leaves them some rubber bands ;-)

Phosphor World Time Curved E Ink watch

Ian Moffatt 1

£150? RTFM

Actually it's $150 (or £94) according to the details on the front page of the review.

That said it's still a chavvy piece of shite

I can't believe there are still people out there who think digital watches are a pretty neat idea ;-)

HABITABLE ALIEN WORLD discovered 20 light-years away!

Ian Moffatt 1


A sweaty one in a Lidl leisure suit as well

Apart from that how does Bebo waffle stand up against Vogon poetry?

Apple TV stripdown reveals mystery solder pads

Ian Moffatt 1

Cyan? Magenta?

What bloke wil use those names other than for ordering ink for a printer?

Ian Moffatt 1

Smaller iPad?

Isn't that an iPhone?

Dixons renames itself Dixons

Ian Moffatt 1
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You let them off lightly Sir!

Ian Moffatt 1


Do you mean to say that mineral water that's been hand bottled by elven virgins and chocolate from rare uncultivated rain forests has nothing to do with computers?

Jobs: One million iPads sold

Ian Moffatt 1

B'Arking up the wrong tree?

'Devices like the iPad will lower the status of desktop support to that of telephone sanitiser.'

Plenty of room on C deck

I'll get me towel

Ian Moffatt 1

Not bad though . . .

. . . for a gadget that people like yourself turn out in droves for just to hate.

No, I don't want one. When it's got to about v4 and I'm due a new laptop (I reckon on 3 to 4 years for this new MacBook), then I might go for one. It will (by then) suit my needs and will be a lot easier to haul about than a laptop and providing it syncs to my desktop (shouldn't be a problem with MobileMe, Evernote and Dropbox) then I'll have everything I need. YMMV.

I might get one for my Mum. It runs Mac OS (she tried Windows and gave up). It does email, web browsing and she can look at pictures of her grandchildren, but the main thing is that it's light enough for her to carry it about. As long as we can get some sort of non slip case. She'll be happy with it. It does the job. What's the problem?

Pink Floyd remastered for Nintendo Entertainment System

Ian Moffatt 1

Well said Sir!

And the 'drums' are better than Nick Mason's original efforts!

iPad apps flood Apple's App Store

Ian Moffatt 1

But you couldn't resist

Giving us your valued opinion. You even read a story about this 'pointless device' and made the effort to post.

So it's not exactly pointless is it? Deep down inside you are just burning up with jealousy/envy/greed/desire/hatred.

I bet you really want one but are too scared of looking like a fanboi after mouthing off to both of your friends about how pointless it is.

Apple uncloaks deep details of its 11 iPad apps

Ian Moffatt 1
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You're new here, aren't you? Oh very yes

Excellent work.

Carry on.

LHC particle-punisher in record 7 TeV hypercollisions

Ian Moffatt 1

Who booked the band?

Rubber one that is

Or is it not that sort of party?

MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Ian Moffatt 1

And her box?

Did you clean it?


Microsoft finally debuts Euro-choose-a-browser screen

Ian Moffatt 1

Well said that (anonymous) man

Exactly. Far too may sites don't play properly on anything other than IE.

And what about corporate intranets? We are still on XP (and not likely to change anytime soon) and are tied to IE. We've only just discovered IE7 FFS!

I'd love to try FF or even Chrome (doesn't seem too shabby) but have to endure IE at work, which reminds me - back tomorrow after a weeks half term holiday. I bet Outlaw will be full of shite emails as well when I log in :-(

Pint 'cos it's nearly Sun lunchtime \o/

Obama scraps Constellation moon mission

Ian Moffatt 1
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One giant leap backwards for mankind

Next from Apple: The Pocket iPad

Ian Moffatt 1


You owe me a new keyboard ;-)