* Posts by Qwelak

55 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Dec 2009


Brit IT firms wound up by court order after fooling folk into paying for 'support' over fake computer errors


Re: Whack-a-mole.

The Vogons .. Pah, I say they should have Grunthos the Flatulents full works read to them or to be really cruel that of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennngs of Greenbridge , Essex, England (and you wouldn't have to go so far).

Finally! A solution to 42 – the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything


Re: OK the soultion is known

You do realise that now the universe will vanish and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

Bad news: Earth is not going to be walloped by asteroid 2006 QV89. Good news: Boffins have lost sight of it, so all hope is not yet lost


Re: Boffins have lost sight of it, so all hope is not yet lost

Oh No! Could we have a stealth asteroid on our hands now.

Please be aliens, please be aliens, please be aliens... Boffins discover mystery mass beneath Moon's biggest crater


Re: Could it be

It's the Gotterdamerung , send James Washington immediately lest he Nazi's or the Lizard Men invade.

User secures floppies to a filing cabinet with a magnet, but at least they backed up daily... right?


ancient Proverb say

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are SO .... Ingenious

Forget 2019's tech biz takeovers, here's the mega-merger everyone's talking about: Milky Way and LMC, coming soon


Re: isn't every star in interstellar space?

If we are thrown out of the Milky Way though that would put us into intergalactic space would it not.

In Space, Still: 20 years since Russia hurled first bit of floating astronaut hostel into orbit


Re: "Floating"

To quote Douglas Adams :

There is an art, or, rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

So technically the ISS is flying not floating or falling

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs


Sounds like a load of ...

Male bovine effluent to me.

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again


Re: New version of Cluedo

Already been done ....


Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you


Re: What measure of 'drink' did these Americans use?

Ironic, we've just booked a dept tour of the hogs Back brewery

Personally I always wanted to invite certain members of staff there and see if they really can organise a piss up.

Antarctica declared world's most volcanic region as 91 new cones found beneath ice


Expect to find some very drunk Goldfish down there


Google off the hook for feeding kids bad cookies


IT is decisions like this

that undermine peoples faith in the legal system and paint it as emminently corrupt and on the side of big business/rich b*****ds. The law all too often appears to be for sale, which is rather depressing.

Lester Haines: RIP



R.I.P. Lester, will miss your stories

Fleet of 4.77MHz LCD laptops with 8088 CPUs still alive after 30 years



I still have an old toshiba T1000XE as well as one of the first Dell colors producedm around '97. Both are still going strong.

Indiana Jones whips Bond in greatest movie character poll


Re: Empire Readers

Couldn't agree more, Jeremy Brett was by far the most accurate Holmes

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD


Thought everuone new

The chicken crossed the road to see his flat mate.

Dungeons & Dragons relaunches with 'freemium' version 5.0


I am fortunate

enough to still have a solid gaming group. Almost never player AD&D though, started with Traveller and RuneQuest and moved on from there. Currently engaged in a Rolemaster Campaign.

MPs urge UK.gov to use 1950s obscenity law to stifle online stiffies


Re: So...

That would be the pension you have paid into all your working life to EARN would it or paid through taxes/national insurance to the government for your state pension. Not quite the same thing really.

Massive new AIRSHIP to enter commercial service at British dirigible base


Re: Bruce Bruce

He also wrote a rather dubious book by the name of :

Lord Iffy Boatrace

Iffy was the word


Ghosts of Christmas Past: Ten tech treats from yesteryear


Re: Out that whole lot..

Still have an Atari 2600 (the second black plasitc design not the wood effect one - that died), also had the FX-570. Wanted the Big Trak but could afford it at the time.

Also remember work (An Art & Design uni) getting several of the Quicktake cameras in when they were newly out. Were VERY popular with the students.

Thanks for making me feel old.

BBC's Clangers returns in £5m 'New Age' remake


Swear like Troopers

Loved the description from the beeb site. Apparently the Clangers whistles are supposed to be proper sentences converted and they are supposed to swear like troopers.

Hope they do a better job than most of the reboots we've seen.

Boffins have constructed a new LIGHT SABRE. Their skills are complete


If this guy is Lukin ...

does he have a father called Anake

I'll get me Jedi robe

Google chap reverse engineers Sinclair Scientific Calculator


Haven;t got a sinclair but..

I did find whilst clearing my house out for a move an old Texas Instruments Ti 1250 calculator from c1976.

Put batts in switched on and the old red LED display lit up perfectly and the thing still works. a blast from the pasr.


Mystery object falls from sky, area sealed off by military: 'Weather balloon', say officials


Re: released from Where?

Why not, in Britain we have the towns of Upper, Lower and Middle Wallop. Not as good as North Piddle though

Modern-day Frankenstein invents CURE for BEHEADING


They need to be careful or heads will roll

UN report says killer bots could fight WAR WITHOUT END


Re: Civilised war

Wasn't there a Star Trek episode where the war was "computerised" and if you were informed you were a casualy you had to report to a termination centre but there was no actual physical damage. It might have actually been called War Without End.

UN to call for 'pre-emptive' ban on soulless robot bomber assassins


Not sure I get this

I always thought that a missile like the tomahawks etc are launched with a preset target which it then autonomously flies to and impacts.

The report as I saw seemed to be referring to re-usable robot craft capable of many missions and capable of selecting their own target rather than a specific assigned target.

I may have misunderstood but I think the UN may be referring to re-usable craft rather than fire once.


Oklahoma cops rake ashes of 'spontaneous combustion' victim


Re: I thought this kind of thing had been explained as a 'wick effect'?

Amazing, it seems that that picture stayed in the minds of everyone who sawit. I can still remember that issue of the Unexplained and the picture itself. Happy memories.

Beer to quench the internal flames

Greenland ice did not melt in baking +8°C era 120k years ago


Re: it's 42

There is a theory that It is actually impossible for both the ultimate question and the ulitmate answer to be known at the same time, if it ever happens the universe will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre abd inexplicable.

There is another theory that this has in fact already happened.

From the HHGttG, Douglas Adams

Web is turning us into kid-ults with no 'private identities' - report

Big Brother

I admit

I avoid social networking sites like the plague. I wonder how many of the current using generation will find stupid posts and embarrassing facts coming back to haunt them later in life. So few people seem to fail to realise that once it's on the web it's there for good. Big brother won't forget.

UK falls behind in global graphene patent race


And so the story repeats itself

What is it with this country. We have a long and fairly illustriuous history of invention and inovation, so why whenever we discover/create the next greatest thing we totally fail to make anything much of it and we end up trailing everything else.

Review: Lego Lord of the Rings game


Now that's an idea

I think thats meant to be a Nazgul, now that's an idea

The Witch King of Angmar Vs The Dark Lord of the Sith

That would be a rumble worth watching

Polish man mistakes hot iron for mobe


6 years ago

Back in the day there was a clip doing the rounds on email showing a gent doing precisely that. A bloke ironing a shirt on the floor, phone rings puts iron to ear, yells in pain. I found it in my old email funny archive dating to Oct 2006.


Patrick Moore: Lived with cats, accompanied Einstein on the piano


The end of an Era

RIP Sir Patrick, one of a kind now gone. Always loved Sky at Night though didn't follow it as often as I'd have liked. Pleased to have caught his last show (quite by chance) last week.

Cheers for everything.

Stob on Quatermass: Was this British TV's finest sci-fi hour?



I picked up the box set of the original Quatermass, Q2 and the pit (probably the same as reviewed) only 2 or 3 weeks ago. I too was a little miffed by the lack of the original Quatermass series beyond ep 2 but it's a shame that Stob did not watch Q2 as it is much better quality than the original Q. episodes.

Apple rejects NAKED HIPPIE ebook, despite apple coverup

Paris Hilton

Re: @ Robert Long 1

I think the word you were looking for is depilation, dilapidation is what happens to houses.

Paris, well because...

Classic game 'Elite' returns … on Kickstarter


Not much to lose really

Chucked some cash their way. If it works wonderful if not it not a huge loss. We LOVE to see it though, I lost a great deal of my youth to that game.

Slideshow: A History of First-person Shooters in 20 Games


Re: Gak!

Speaking of Elite there's a kickstarter going for David Braben to update ELite for the 21st century


Re: almost forgot

It was the first FPS I know of to do that, Fallout had them too but thats RPG and third person.

BTW Isn't the Marathon picture actually from Marathon 2, the first one never had the sawn offs.

Slideshow: A History of Horror in 20 Scary Games


Why Res Evil 2 not 1. I found the original far more scary than the second one. The camera angles were brilliantly (if annoyingly) positioned for max surprise. Made me jump out of my seat more than once.

Why James Bond's Aston Martin Top Trumps the rest

Black Helicopters

From Russia with l;ove

I am fairly sure that at the begining of FRWL bond actually had a proper Bentley which was replaced in Goldfinger with the DB5.

Fell free to correct if necessary

Black Helicopter .. Well it's Bond



Have they reached Fukushoma yet?

Be prepared for a giant, mutant, radioactive redbacks terrorising Japan with eight laser shooting eyes, firey breath and able to spit poison 200yds - I give you Redzilla

Ridable giant robo-bug creeps, crawls toward reality


Re: It needs two more legs and some big fangs

NO, not a minigun it should have a frikkin laser

Road deaths spark crackdown on jaywalking texter menace


Re: Remind me again

Perhaps it would be sensible to STOP walking for the few seconds it takes to look at the wizzy, wonderful app or maybe slow down a bit or just maybe not try crossing the feckin road with their nose is buried in their mini-fondleslabs

Just a thought, (which is what these idiots need)

Cosmic Cannonball snapped blazing a bloody trail of star guts



My first thought when I saw the picrture was a giant cosmic fist.

What should a sci-fi spaceship REALLY look like?


Babylon 5

As I recall the StarFurys from Babylon 5 were quoted by a NASA boffin as being pretty well as they may design a future starfighte. Having thrusters on the wing tips for maneuveriing and proper newtonian fligth machanics.

Boss leaves robot in charge of office



Does it check the lift is there before entering? Does it check overhead? Can it be fitted with Tasers, ball bearing launchers or tear gas?

Just asking

CERN 'gags' physicists in cosmic ray climate experiment


Shouldn't that be

Cosmics Leaving Outdoor Droplets - CLODs

seems more appropriate for the politcally correct bias

Just saying....

iPhone 4 SURVIVES plunge from plane

Jobs Halo

Well it IS ....

The Jesus Phone isn't it.

Pitiless teen burglar murders three witnesses


Would have loved

to have heard that cross examinaion in court,

Prosecuter - Mr Fish can you see the perpetrators in this court?

fish - -O-

Prosecuter - Is that yes or no?

Fish - -O-

Icon - Another Mass Fish murderer