Posts by 0laf

There will be blood: BT to axe 13,000 employees

Look back the BBC news, same shite, same platitudes just from BT never mind other large businesses going back to 2000 and beyond.

Do they teach these crap PR announcements at MBA school?

Re: if you think they are bad now...

It's a moot point

Re: No people skills whatsovever

Snakes in Suits is a book worth reading.

So when can you get in the first self-driving car? GM says 2019. Mobileye says 2021. Waymo says 2018 – yes, this year

Re: When I can be in the car drunk then maybe

Well I live in the country quite a long way from the major cities. If I want to meet someone for a drink there it would involve a hotel stay or quite a considerable chain of public transport options ending in a large taxi fare. So I stay sober and drive usually.

If I had a self driving car I could get ratted, fall asleep and wake up home. I like that idea.

When I can be in the car drunk then maybe

As I've said before. When I can legally get in the back seat very drunk, slur "home James", fall asleep AND not be responsible for the driving of the car on the way THEN I'll be interested.

If 'autonomous driving' means the same as Tesla's autopilot in that I need to have my hands on the wheel and be ready to take over at a moment notice then no, I might as well drive the damn thing myself.

Microsoft vows to bridge phones to PCs, and this time it means it. Honest.

It's almost like we once had a massive company with resources and skills that had a foot in both mobile phones and desktop operating systems and this company without any real competition could ahve chosen to develop an enterprise focussed synergy between its phone and desktop offerings that might have seamlessly linked its back end system as well.

But then what company would want to tap into all those billions of corporate dollars when it could spunk it all up the wall, goodwill and all, chasing after the 5% of big private spenders that love shiny all whilst lying to the businesses and individuals that had bought into its earlier promises of joined up mobile and enterprise.

If any company ever did that it would really burn people and piss them off. You'd think that MAYBE IF THEY TRIED TO DO IT FUCKING TWICE their earlier customers might not buy into the rhetoric.

Just a thought.

Yes, people see straight through male displays of bling (they're only after a fling)

Who owned the money

Were they given $20k?

I'd spend $20k I was given very differently than $20k of my own money.

I'd be far more likely to buy something stupid safe in the knowledge I'd be no worse off if it blew up or I wrecked it.

UK age-checking smut overlord won't be able to handle the pressure – critics

Re: Blank Sheet

It's the usual Governmental buck passing.

"Someone made a promise to do something about porn"

"How we gonna do that, I've no idea, will I still get to Fist and Piss Latex Lezzers?"

"Shit shit shit"

"Give it to the thingies that do the DVDs they'll know about that crap"

"Who"

"look on the back of that My Little Pony DVD"

"Oh yeah the BBFC chuck it at them, offer them a couple of million quid and their MD will bite your hand off. Who care if they can do it or not as long as we can just blame them when they fuck up, job done!"

Government does something - tick

Ambitious ass in BBFC gets name in paper - tick

Both will move on when clusterfuck is unveiled to next government contract or directorship.

Huawei P20: Snappish snaps, but for £200 less than Pro, it’s Notch bad

Re: Why use a rotting melon, Mr Reviewer?

They are far more photogenic as well.

Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

Re: They need to make it more modular, trim features, and reduce the Windows updates

A significant push to update my home pc was to cope with W10 updates. It was a cheap but perfectly serviceable i3, 8Gb with SSD, rig which handled pretty much everything I threw at it for years including games. The only thing that brought it to its knees was the WinUpdate service.

I'm now running a Ryzen 7 1800 with 16Gb and it can just about cope with W10 updates. They now take 30min rather than a whole evening.

I struggle to understand why bundling IE resulted in a massive EU court case and new version of Windows yet forcing Edge down everyone's throat is fine. Ditto for Chrome on Droid

"Oh Cortana is broken" notice no one.

It's World (Terrible) Password (Advice) Day!

"But we're stuck with passwords for the foreseeable future."

Not because we want to but because massive monolithic suppliers like NGA and Capita are not going to develop their ancient yet essential products to support new authentication processes. They barely cope with username/pwd as it is.

And the banks will do anything to avoid spending money as well. Fines will probably be cheaper than redeveloping their websites

The problem with passwords is people. We've reached the limits people can cope with (actually reached and breached about 15yr ago).

But we're stuck with passwords for the foreseeable future.

The advice given out by NIST and NCSC is a little more complex than just set a long simple password and never change it. It also has requirement to monitor for password quality (so no 'passwordpassword') and also to monitor for compromise attempts. So to move away from the regular password changes need a bit of work and possibly money to be spent.

Former Volkswagen CEO indicted over emission cheating conspiracy

You may also note the compensation issued to US customers Vs UK

In the US VAG paid out billions in compensation and bought back affected cars in some cases.

In the UK you've been offered a 'fix' which appears to have a significant change of buggering up your car. In cash terms you've been told to piss off.

I don't drive a VAG btw but I do drive a diesel so far unaffected by any investigations however the diesel scam have knock a lot of value of me motor which is not nice.

TSB's middleware nightmare: Execs grilled on Total Sh*tshow at Bank

Banking exec - Is my bonus affected to a point where I'll notice any dip in my income?

Yes - This terrible crisis must be resolved to the satisfaction of all affected I reeeealy mean it

No - I do not give a fuck, I will make a show of caring but I really really do not give two shits and will leverage this as an opportunity to cut more within the bank and leverage my share options just prior to jumping ship at the star of the next clusterfuck.

NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men

Re: Down Range

Any more dangerous than the radioisotope generators we've hurled into space already?

I've got way too much cash, thinks Jeff Bezos. Hmmm, pay more tax? Pay staff more? Nah, let's just go into space

I wonder if these super rich technologists might get together and set up a joint company, maybe call it Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles or CHOAM for short (apologies for the niche reference).

But it is a little scary that these guys are working towards the possibility of off world slave colonies that have previously only been the fever dreams of sci-fi writers.

Maybe they'll create a democratic utopia on Mars but if they treat their current workers as meat based robots right now it seems unlikely they'd do things any differently in a new location.

Apple and The Notched One: It can't hide the X-sized iPhone let-down

Re: The fake one might do that but not the real one

I can echo. The most wealthy people I've ever known were also the tightest and would fight tooth and nail over coppers.

The most profligate were often the poorest because they had no real concept of money.

Press F to pay respects to the Windows 10 April Update casualties

Re: XPS

W10 used to have a reasonable MS PDF app but it was withdrawn as yet another way to force you to use Edge.

Motorised robo-coolbox biz Starship makes lunchtime pitch to campus-dwellers

Would never survive a meeting with a group of school kids

Brit healthcare system inks Windows 10 install pact with Microsoft

Is this the usual? Capital to put a plaster over yesterday's problems without any recurring money to fix today's and tomorrow's. I.e. no money for IT staff to actually carry out the functions that were neglected and which led to Wannacry being a problem.

Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

Re: Diversity in action ...

"At the core is the previous Home Secretary policy, so this will change nothing."

Unfortunately I think you're right on the money with that.

The authoritarian micromanagement of May will continue.

UK gov grilled over massive exposure to struggling outsourcer Capita

Re: Crapita was always terrible

I knew someone who worked for them and her stories backed that. "Good people, Shit company" was ger general comment.

also Crapita has a lot more than 1000 contracts, that will just be the central government biggies. They also run many critical services in councils as a monopoly supplier. And they run them as a monopoly, gouging prices and not providing support and effectively putting entire organisation at risk because they refuse to maintain products beyond the minimum. Even where legally required.

Critical infrastructure needs more 21qs6Q#S$, less P@ssw0rd, UK.gov security committee told

Banks could start by rolling out 2FA for all their internet backing users. Not just business users.

they know it's best they just don't want to spend the money.

Danish submariner sent down for life for murder of journalist Kim Wall

Much the same as us in the UK. A life sentence doesn't mean a lifetime behind bars.

Even Microsoft's lost interest in Windows Phone: Skype and Yammer apps killed

MS lost interest in WinPho pretty much as soon as it birthed a decent product in 8.1

When they discovered that the iPhone X type buyers wouldn't ever be interested in an MS product they ran away, not bothering about the people who quite liked what they had made. The worst bit was their lack of admission that they were running away so they led on buyers to waste money. That's unforgivable.

I still think that Metro was the best phone interface I've ever used.

'Your computer has a virus' cold call con artists on the rise – Microsoft

I think I got one of these for the first time last week. I say 'think' because the chap's accent was so thick and the line so bad I really have no idea what he was saying.

I'd be disappointed if it was one. I've been waiting years to get one. So long in fact the chap I was going to pass their details to has been arrested by the FBI and I've never heard form him again.

The local scammers are getting soft. The PPI and accident claims calls guys hang up so easily now, they've no stamina to get led on. They hang up so easily I don't think they can possibly make any money any more.

Man up FFS, I needs my entertainment.

Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

My Mother never got past lifting the mouse off the desk when I said "move the mouse up". Luckily touchscreens were invented and she can manage that ok.

eBay has locked me into undeletable Catch-22 trap, complains biz bod

Re: Just wait...

Correct. Unless he's a sole trader then it gets a bit more complicated.

A developer always pays their technical debts – oh, every penny... but never a groat more

Re: CEOs are fed up with their jobs being at risk because some programmer screwed something up

Well that strategy worked well for Trump

Microsoft's Pelican brief, MAID in Azure* and femtosecond laser glass storage

The Sci-fi staple of the data crystal is finally happening

Gemini: Vulture gives PDA some Linux lovin'

Loved my old Psion 5. The keyboard was a thing of wonder on such a SFF device.

I nearly went in with Gemini but too many horror stories around indy funding (Speccy etc).

At the moment it sounds like I'd be a bit disappointed with V1 but I hope it does well enough to spawn a V2 device where they will get these bugs ironed out.

Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

I like things hotter than most people but that doesn't mean I'm remotely interested in eating any of these weaponised fruit. Chili heat for some reasons hits the Chinese Food gland. You eat one, suffer a bit, recover and 10min later your brain is telling you to eat some more.

However I find the videos of idiots eating them on you tube absolutely hilarious so please keep up the good work.

They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

I don't know why politicians can't get that what they are asking for is effectively the same as asking for a pet dinosaur, or a magic carpet or a shrink ray. The knowledgeable people have all screamed "Ye cannae break the laws of physics, or maths" but it doesn't matter.

They've had an idea, and if they can think it you can do it. They don't need to understand the detail just the idea. So just get on and do it.

Scary that the people in charge can be so proudly ignorant and divorced from reality.

Tantalising Tabby's Star teases watchers with big dimming event

So the FSM is making shadow animals on the Earth using Tabby's Star as a bulb and his noodly appendages.

Apple turns hat around, sits backwards on chair, pitches iPad to schools

Is it enterprise aware?

Does it support multiple users on a single device?

Are you doing your usual and configuring everything so that the kids need personal iTunes accounts and an individual device each before this will work? If so sod off and come back when you have something that is fit for purpose.

Huawei joins Android elite with pricey, nocturnal 40MP flagship

Re: *Points in disappointment*

and it'll be £900

Five things you need to know about Microsoft's looming Windows 10 Spring Creators Update

FK U MS

Windows update.... yay :-|

So I can look forward to long hours of trying to make the machine run properly as it repellently (I tried to write 'repeatedly' but the auto-correct put in that other word and I thought it was better) tries to download and install a multi-gig patch without any warning making the whole rig run like a dog for days.

Then I get to spend a happy few hours putting all the privacy settings back and finding the new places MS has hidden them AND uninstalling all the fucking adverts for Candy Crush, Office 365 etc.

THEN I get to repeat the process on my little atom powered netbook that won't install the patch because it's not got enough fucking memory and won't let me delete all the unnecessary shite that MS forces down.

Space, the final blunt-tier: Binary system ejected huge 'spliff' asteroid, boffins reckon

There are likely thousands or millions of bits of interstellar junk passing through our solar system all the time. It's just that we haven't had the technology to detect them until now. I'd expect we'll see the detection of quite a few larger lumps soon until they get ignored as being common.

Fermi famously asked: 'Where is everybody?' Probably dead, says renewed Drake equation

Pants

Everyone with young kids knows that aliens love underpants not socks.

For cruder children I can also recommend "The Dinosaur that pooped the bed".

Was there not a comment on this with regard to ourselves? That our move to digital transmissions makes us much harder to detect. Assuming other civilizations are (or were) out there is there not also a question of for what period did that civilisation broadcast signals in a format that we can detect at this point in our civilisation?

Kepler krunch koming: Super space 'scope's fuel tank almost empty

Re: The reaction wheels have gone

It's done great but it is done. No fuel and parts breaking. It might be appealing to save this to keep it going but that's just taking resources away form the next mission which might do 20x what Kepler has done.

Pints for the boffins involved for work well done and we look forward to the next bit of epic boffinry.

Stephen Hawking dies, aged 76

I'm sure there will be an endless debate about Hawking's place in the pantheon of great physicists but I think it is beyond debate that he has had a massive influence in bringing physics (and science in general) into popular culture and we probably have a great many more physicists and scientists working today because of him. Any each one of whom could produce the next great breakthrough in physics or medicine or materials or who-knows-what.

That's a pretty bloody good legacy even beyond his work in theoretical physics.

PS - Everyone knows that 42 is the answer, what Hawking might now know is the question...

A smartphone recession is coming and animated poo emojis can't stop it

Double Meh

Like anything else that becomes commoditised it will cease to be exciting. Everyone has a black (a switched off screen is always black) oblong that does smartphone things.

Washing machines were exciting technology once. You can still see manufacturers trying to build excitement into new features but really, as long as they wash clothes no one really gives a shit. They're more bothered about capacity and reliability than the machines having the highest rpm by 3 or a new and exciting colour scheme (although they do try that).

It's the same with phones apart from tech nerds no one is going to care much any more until they do something dramatically different. Even different form factors or folding screens, it won't matter much for long it's still a phone.

People will start to care about initial cost, battery life, warranty length and not a lot more.

Violent, powerful wind that lasts 100s of years. Yes, it's Jupiter, not you after a Friday night curry

Everyone knows that below the gas layer and below the oceans of metallic hydrogen lies a tiny core of the densest material known - a Trump-Jonson condensate.

Nonsense aside loving the science. Top boffinry

Will the stock market drop Dropbox like it's hot? Numbers say no

Box has taken business in the public sector by its products with legislation like the DPA. that mean we can use it with less concern over the misuse of PII.

Dropbox gives lip-service to privacy, it promotes itself to business but it's not a lot of use for PII.

What Dropbox has is a name. Where sticky tape = sellotape (UK), filesharing = Dropbox. even where other products are being talked about.

Shock poll finds £999 X too expensive for happy iPhone owners

Re: I hate to say this...

That business model worked out well for Vertu

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-40593936

Aren't we supposed to be at the start of another cycle of consumers being hard up? Car sales down, property prices dropping.

Might it be that an £800+ phone (from any company) just doesn't represent a good value for money choice for most people who still use phones for speaking, texting, navigation, social media and taking photos. All things that can be done well on a £80 phone these days.

So what are you getting for all that extra money? A lot more shiny, a bit more speed and a thing you can wave under someone's nose as a demonstration of wealth. Basically meaning that a great many people who buy very expensive phones are pricks. Making the phone an indicator of wealth, possibly stupidity and prickishness. Those who actually need powerful phones and are not pricks will be tarred by association.

So I think the majority of these hyper-phones will undersell and they'll remain a small niche.

Hey Alexa, Siri and Cortana: Cisco says you’re bad at business

Will it do anything in a crowded open plan office faster and more accurately than I can already do it with a keyboard and mouse?

I still don't get voice assistants full stop? Still too inaccurate, too slow and too much of a PITA.

The only appealing use case I've got (for a fully able and computer literate person) is to divert my son's endless questions. Even then I'd only want to delegate that when I was genuinely too busy.