Posts by Alex, Leeds

It's official: IE users are dumb as a bag of hammers

Hoax!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-14370878

Funny though. :-)

Aussies demand Poms cough up first 'Australia' map

Ours

If the measurements were taken and drawn by someone in the employ of the Royal Navy then that makes it ours. End of - quit whinging and draw one yourselves!

Who're the Poms?

As we all know convicts were marked with POME (Prisoner of Mother England) surely it's the Aussies that are the poms? I've always wondered about that - although I guess they'd argue that we based in Blighty remain the true prisoners...wrong though.

Man demands police protection from sex-mad missus

They have two kids

How only two!?

Shocked mum muzzles foul-mouthed toy mutt

Regional accents?

Quite correct, 'British English' does surely does not need to be specified

Saying that though, since there are so many regional accents I'm not really sure which one would be 'English'...? I suppose a generic southern one but of course you have cockney, west country, brummie, manc, liverpudlian, scouse, geordie etc. etc.

Bond 23 back on track for 2012

Camp as a branch of Millets!

Love it! :-)

Nearly, but not quite...

Bad girl is turned by Bond and so gets killed by bad guy.

Bond rescues a different but totally inocent girl (who is somehow caught up in the bad guys plans) whilst blowing up the bad guys lair... and fully expects to shag her during the closing credits.

You got everything else spot on. :-)

Paris - might be able to play the bad girl?

MOSSAD SPY VULTURE seized in Saudi Arabia

Paranoia!

Just how paranoid would you have to be!?

Massive online database of bird calls unveiled

Lyre bird

I saw this a couple of years ago when David Attenborough was on Jonathan Ross - you have to be impressed by this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjE0Kdfos4Y

French woman chased up tree by wild pigs, rescued by copter

Robin meat

I didn't know robins were tasty - I guess they probably are but imagine there isn't much too them. Swans - I thought that was illegal...or is it just for a certain type of swan?

BURNING LUST for SEXY BUSTY BLONDES - Science explains

Yes, but

...surely this would lead to a divergence of beauties and beasts as hotties get together to produce more hotties and beasts get together to produce devil children. The human race will then be split into two halves and will never become one!

Paris, I guess she's a beauty... although I'm unsure which half of the race would rule?

Sarah Palin calls for US to stand by North Korea

Errr...

Are they really going to vote for that? They are aren't they! Oh no!

Paris' brain > Palin's brain.

Distressed cock whipped out of wheelie bin

Fowl play!

"For anything in the bird world, if it's without water for 24 hours, it will die within a week."

Does that mean they get seven days to say fairwell to all their friends before choosing a cosy spot to curl up... or is the quote just wrong?

Google data center links shot down by 'bored' riflemen

@ Martin Howe

Me thinks that anyone shooting at power lines at the end of a three day cross country ski trail is unlikely to get caught in the act!

Bacon thief leaves rasher on door knob

I can get away with reading this...

...until I start laughing having read a particularly daft but funny comment.

Mail on Sunday inadvertently bolsters annual smutfest

[sic]

Never before have I seen such clever positioning of "[sic]". :-)

Is your office World Cup sweepstake legal?

Does that mean...

that I can get my money back then? I got Algeria!

Next from Apple: The Pocket iPad

iPointless

Indeed... does anyone know what the iPad is actually *for*?

Avatar renders this earthly life meaningless

'I’m 35 and I can do what I want in my room'

'I don't even really want to go into work.'

The guy has a job?!