* Posts by Josh

66 publicly visible posts • joined 17 May 2007


Europe-wide emergency number is go



And here I was hoping for an easy-to-remember number like:

0118 999 881 999 119 725...3

Yes! It's the Darth Vader breakfast toaster


I wanna get one

And experience the dark side of the toast.

"I want my breakfast, Admiral - Not excuses."

"You are to capture Solo alive. No shaking it up."

"I smell a disturbance in the eggs. Something I have not smelt since-"

Palin didn't know Africa is a continent, McCain aides say


At least

At least Palin can probably tell the difference between APEC and OPEC... Just as long as she doesn't think it's GregoryPec.

Woman cuffed for deleting virtual husband



A chick playing an MMO? My world's been turned upside down...

Prof: 'Taser-proof vests put cops in danger'


Deus Ex

If Deus Ex has taught us anything, the feet are an instant knock out. ;)

Arctic ice refuses to melt as ordered

Paris Hilton

Re: @sGreg Flemin

You mean 5000 degrees F?

Paris because there's no Pointy Haired Boss.


Inconvenient Truth

Inconvenient Truth for Al Gore...

Nvidia waves goodbye to chipsets?



I actually quite liked the nForce chipsets, despite their issues with Linux.

Aussie school goes high-tech


"although he kept mum...", & Re: "Assie" Accents

"although he kept mum about exactly which technologies pupils might use"

The power of IM clients in tests.

And in regard to Stu, you're thinking of Canadians. ;)

Skull and cross bones because I'm feeling pirate-y.

God makes you stupid, researchers claim


RE: Jaws is in the bible (so i am told)

Skipping over to the NEW TESTAMENT, where JESUS HIMSELF is changing the way things are played...

* Saved people (i.e. All people that have accepted Jesus into their hearts) go to Heaven, despite what they have done.

** If you read things like Deuteronomy, then you've probably read the New Testament where Jesus rescues to prostitute and totally outsmarts the Pharisees and Sadducees.

* I don't see what's so hard to believe about being inside a whale for three days. It would be completely possible if it didn't swallow you either.



Atheists = Smart

Atheists reject God

Christians = Stupid

Christians accept God

[Some] Atheists say that the Big Bang created the universe out of two forms of matter that somehow existed in nothingness.

Christians say God created the universe from nothingness.

[Some] Atheists say that Evolution somehow formed from the somehow Big Bang and somehow created sentient life.

Christians say God created sentient life.

Have you Atheists *seriously* considered those theories beyond "Well it's not God, therefore it works"?

Japanese children warned off mobiles


Teenage Idiots

Mobiles have become such a problem these days. I actually see my friends SMSing in the middle of class and I'm thinking "WTF? Who have you got to talk to that can't wait 75 minutes?"

A cop came to school to teach us how we shouldn't use them to bully people. And he also told us that when he asked a group of students that if they were to lose their phone or leg, 90% would much rather hold onto the phone.

I didn't get a mobile phone 'til this year, and that was because I needed to stay in contact for an excursion. I can't see the addiction in it.

Guitar Hero III goes mobile


Them's fightin' words

"Penguin, because while not being Linux, this game sounds at least as dull and pointless.."

At least Linux doesn't involve major RAM requirements that turns a perfectly good computer into a perfectly good paperweight.

O2 PR calls Reg readers 'techie nerds'


Re: That made me laugh - hard

Wait, "dark server room"? You mean there's varying degrees of... *shudder* light in other rooms?

Japan turning itself into Cyberman machine civilisation



Whoa! Let's not say things we can't take back!



If everyone becomes robots, does this mean people will finally RTFM?

Ban using mobiles while crossing street, says US legislator


Re: Eh?

No one drives in America, particularly New York. There's too much traffic.


Re: Dafydd

Duh, the cars, objects and people will update as the triangle moves up the map. ;)


Mmmm... Hmmmm...

So talking to yourself with a piece of metal attached to your ear somehow raises the amount of walking accidents.

Don't drink and walk, and there's no such thing as safe speeding [when you're walking].

Linkin Park cyber-stalker sent to jail



Don't forget that while she's in gaol she'll be able to think to herself "What I've Done".

Lightsaber voted top movie weapon


Death Star = Space station

I know that it is technically a weapon, but for all intents and purposes the Death Star is a battle station more than a weapon. It has weapons on it, though. =P

I still think the Staff weapon from Stargate should've made it onto the list. =P

Online gamer murders rival clan member


Re: Obviously

You mean respawn doesn't happen in real life?

Oz govt pushes mandatory net filters


Let's hope

Let's hope it works a bit better than their other net filter. The one the 16 year old bypassed in under half an hour.

New Jersey scraps death penalty


Re: My Two Cents

If prisons are getting overcrowded, maybe we should start killing off people who are caught stealing cars, or any other crime for that matter.

Thank goodness Australia killed off that punishment decades ago.

Gamer takes Microsoft to court over Halo 3 'errors'



Hypothetical: If any Halo gamer came to a shop I worked out whinging it wouldn't work I'd ask them why they weren't playing a real game to begin with.

Nintendo completes DS Lite 'refresh' - analyst


I fail to see...

"DS Lite will be thinner, lack support for Game Boy Advance cartridges"

I fail to see the good in this. Well except for the fact the outdated model will beon eBay. :D

MySpace makes kids fat, claims minister



You could just play the protective parent and do designated time. If you've raised them properly to begin with they will abide by it.

Even so, the internet gets boring after a while, so they'll have to go outside at some point.

Remembering the Commodore PET 2001



Did anyone try overclocking the PET? Did they get it over 5 MHz?

Nintendo to fire Wii Zapper into Europe for Xmas



I so hope my friend gets this. :P I wouldn't mind giving it a go! PARTICULARLY IF IT WERE MODDED TO BE AN M4 CARBINE!

The first rule of Reg Club is...



You forgot to specify the slightly lesser known rule to number six:

"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."

George Lucas announces Star Wars TV spin-off


Clone Wars Series/Jar Jar

The series is going to be in 3D, and most likely more in depth/different storylines than the cartoon.

I don't mind if Jar Jar's in there... As long as they decide his fate... The menacing way. :P

But in all fairness, Jar Jar wasn't half as annoying as Rosh from Jedi Academy (And all those who have played it will probably agree)

Science and religion collide for galactic conference


Re: Good Laughs!

I find it just as funny that the world is in such denial about our "Invisible friends" as you put it.

P.S. Have you ever looked up what your name means in Hebrew?

Jack Thompson sets about Halo 3


Re: Sniper

Excellent, can't wait 'til the Republic recruits me to fly A-Wing's or test modified ARC-170's.

In all seriousness though, it is partially video games fault. Mainly for the fact that they make the graphics more realistic, making mentally unstable kids think "Whoa this is real!"

I remember playing Half-Life when I was 8 and I'm still playing such games and I'm alright... I think.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill


Re: @Re: Stupid question

You're welcome. I do try. :)


Re: Stupid question

Well you see, there's this site called Wikipedia...

Oh wait, Chuck Norris will tell you everything you need to know. ;)

Intel snaps up Dublin gaming firm


So Intel buying them...

Does this mean that the physics are going to be less realistic, or does it mean that Intel's CPU standards will be *more* realistic?

German police raid home of man who operated Tor server



"even through the undergarments of his terrified wife."

"Sargent, why are you looking for evidence in my underwear drawer?"

"Well there wasn't any ten minutes ago, so I thought it was time to check again."

Fujitsu unveils palm-reading security mouse


Cool but...

That looks spiggin' awesome but there's a problem... What if someone steals the mouse?

Aussie bin Laden penetrates APEC security


RE: They did it again today!

I assume that it'd be Chris, Craig and Andrew since Chas and Julian have already been busted?


Can't wait

Can't wait until the episode of Chaser next Wednesday. :)

BBC confirms Doctor Who series five


Re: RE: My favourite script editor...

At least someone gets the joke. ;) :P


My favourite script editor...

... Is Robert Holmes.

I wouldn't mind Hugh Laurie as the new Doctor. But why is it put off until '10? :S

SexSearch.com gets off on user's underage romp



Maybe she was a Jedi and he really did ask to see her identification.

*Mind Trick* You do not need to see my identification.

Light sabre on cargo manifest for next Shuttle mission


Re: Thats no ordinary prop.

It's a space station.

Let's hope they friendly aliens don't bored and see it... They might think it's a hostile action.

Also, innit "Lightsaber"?

Droid pilots beat humans at air-to-air refuelling


@ Ahhhh well

Dang you beat me to it.

So does that mean whoever they go to war with are going clone their top soldier?

Society of Jesus calls missionaries to Second Life


Re: Virtual Sinners

I think the point of the missionaries is to stop them from going to either hell.

NASHA ashtronauts too fly to drunk


Designated driver

Maybe they should get a designated driver. Might prevent a bit of Imperial entanglement from Stormtroopers.

Your very own R2 unit multimedia machine



Insist that Astromech droids are top of the line and that they are very useful when flying/driving your Starfighter/car.



I SO want one of these! Then I'd organise it to play a clip of "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are my only hope."

Man these Japanese sure know how to appeal to nerds.

Astronauts chuck fridge off space station



"Artoo says the chances against survival are seven hundred twenty-five to one... Actually, I don't think we needed to know that."

Either way, if it misses the ocean, the guy who's house it lands next to will get a new fridge. :) It's like the lottory.