Posts by Paul Woodhouse

Musk tells of risk of Twitter bankruptcy as tweeters trash brands

pass the popcorn

Why aren't you being arbiters of truth? MPs scream at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter

Was it just my mucky mind that saw that shrugging ASCII Art as something else entirely?

MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

flags and Hurrahs?... no need for them, maybe a genuine "Nice" instead of a sarcastic comment about it probably blowing up for some reason.

Dinosaurs gathered at NASA Goddard site for fatal feeding frenzy

this case is interesting because of the amount of mammal prints in it... OP was correct with 'furry'

Holy cow, that is a lot of animals in a very small space, guessing those impressions were left over quite a short period of time too...

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

There's a place in Chorlton does a full English breakfast pizza... I'm thinking this would be ideal for it...

Lenovo's craptastic fingerprint scanner has a hardcoded password

Re: Thinkpads are great!

I find old SL510's absolutely fly with Arch on em.... and you don't need to mess about finding out obscure details about the hardware either...

Thar she blows: Strava heat map shows folk on shipwreck packed with 1,500 tonnes of bombs

maybe they need more warning signs

Ex-staffer sues UK's DWP, claims superior blabbed confidential medical info

Re: PAYG Lawyers ..

Needs to be done in a Manc. accent though...

User stepped on mouse, complained pedal wasn’t making PC go faster

Story from a friend who was teaching the blue rinse brigade at evening classes at a local college, he was teaching them how to have a free email account, and one of them typed

www.hotmale.com into the address bar... hilarity ensued..

Aut-doh!-pilot: Driver jams 65mph Tesla Model S under fire truck, walks away from crash

Re: Pass out at twice the legal limit ?

*shrug* every American I've drunk with has been a lightweight...

Re: 2018: "But it was on Autopilot!"

ahh, I recall the good old days when I lived in Germany, NO ONE drove a car to parties, they all rode push bikes...

had some hilarious moments of people just riding straight into bushes or just getting on one side of the bike and falling off the other...

Camels disqualified from Saudi beauty contest for Botox-enhanced pouts

She's more likely to pass as a Bactrian I guess...

HMRC dev support team cc blurtfest: Over 1,400 email addresses blabbed

if at first you fail. Fail, fail and fail again...

France to lend Brexit Britain sore souvenir of Norman yoke – the Bayeux Tapestry

Re: Paul Woodhouse

I was thinking it needs to be displayed at Waterloo station ;)

Well played Froggies, well played :D...

I approve of this very subtle trolling...

'Mummy, what's felching?' Tot gets smut served by Android app

Deja-Vu?

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

ahh... that was a good BOFH... thank you Simon...

Up, up and a-weigh! Boeing flies cargo drone with 225kg payload

Re: Other uses

might not be so bad, the beer jacket will keep you warm, but ferk... have you ever picked up an unconscious drunk before?... they seem to weight 3 times as much as they should do, so you might be overweight for it if passed out...

IBM melts down fixing Meltdown as processes and patches stutter

Re: Incapacitated By Meltdown

my favourite was always:

I Blame Microsoft

Boffins use inkjets to print explosives

Re: @ Paul Woodhouse.

heh, ours involved a shit load of the stuff and one of those old metal dusty bins... it set off a few car alarms and we could deffo feel the shockwave even though we were hiding behind one of those big industrial bin thingies...

hmm... air bag explosives are dangerous enough, plenty of vids on youtube of morons possibly getting non-posthumous Darwin awards by sitting on seats with airbags under them and setting them off..

while we're on about printers, laser toner itself is pretty damn explosive given the right environment as me and an old colleague once found out during a very boring overtime session one Saturday.

Parliamentary 'puters made 30k tries to procure pr0nz last year

hmm, this is a bit of a non-story really I think depending on what the filters class as porn, personally, I suspect advertisements are the biggest culprit for logging a 'hit', maybe some pictures on Facebook and the like where the filters deem the image to have a lot of skin colour in them trigger quite a few hits too...

You GNOME it: Windows and Apple devs get a compelling reason to turn to Linux

I quite like gnome 3, the same system has mate on it but I keep finding myself booting into Gnome, still got my workhorse desktops running with Unity though, will be a bit sad when it goes, I quite like using it.

Ubuntu 17.10 pulled: Linux OS knackers laptop BIOSes, Intel kernel driver fingered

Re: Debian SID

"This is why I use Linux Mint."

Should there be a "Godwin-type" Law that states if a thread continues long enough, the probability of someone mentioning Linux Mint approaches 1?

upvoted because I too will have been guilty of this a few times...

At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

Yorkshire pud? why the hell not, serve with pigs in blankets embedded in it :D...

Turkeys good if its cooked right, doesn't need to be dry, if I get a bird its usually turkey, I'm quite partial to roasting a massive ham for crimbo though, the left overs can be hacked off to go well with all the bloody cheese for the next couple of days :D...

Rogue PIs found guilty of illegally snagging personal financial info

tip of a rather large iceberg methinks.....

A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2

"Accountancy firms don't use Excel. They may produce spreadsheets, but they certainly don't work with Excel."

WTF are you smoking... accountants are the WORST for inappropriate use of Excel, and they usually look utterly mystified when you do a facepalm as they show you the spreadsheet they've knocked up to record meeting action plans and stuff...

Baaa-d moooo-ve: Debian Linux depicts intimate cow-sheep action in ASCII artwork

makes a change from seals buggering penguins I guess...

Better filters won't cure this: YouTube's kids nightmare

Never watched Tom and Jerry or the Roadrunner as a kid?...

Donald, YOU'RE FIRED: Rogue Twitter worker quits, deletes President Trump's account

I suspect a LOT of people will think those actions were well worth it :D

Why you can't boycott the Mail: Google makes a mint from 'fake news'

Re: And the advertisers wonder...

indeed it has, when are the advertisers going to be prosecuted for all the bandwidth they've stolen?

Watership downtime: BadRabbit encrypts Russian media, Ukraine transport hub PCs

Re: Commercial product

well most politicians seem to think that... and that they can just hand it over to only the 'good guys'

Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Re: Now it can be told...

I do hope the batch file launched firefox first with

c:\progra~1\mozzil~1\firefox.exe "thedailymash.co.uk"

Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

Re: Common English words with very different meanings.....

His stockings are most likely large enough to jingle a few balls in....

ISIS and Jack Daniel's: One of these things is not like the other

Re: Ignorance knows no borders

actually can disagree with that, JD just make so much of the damn stuff that they can mix it to get the consistent taste, JD single barrel is just from barrels that when they do the tasting they decide have something a bit unique or really good about them so put them to one side instead of mixing them up with the rest, always worth a punt on a bottle of JD single barrel cos you never know quite what you'll get but you know it'll be good.

Brit military wants a small-drone-killer system for £20m

Re: Flock of Gulls

and of course it won't be senior staff or directors car parking spaces are anywhere near those chimneys will it?

Re: Flock of Gulls

I actually read that as confused otter strapped to the underside of a cow first... was thinking that might make a large splash once it had completed its mission...

BYOD might be a hipster honeypot but it's rarely worth the extra hassle

aye, I'd come to this conclusion about 3 years ago IIRC... and with GDPR on the horizon my mind certainly ain't gonna change...

Microsoft gives all staff a marked-up 'Employee Edition' of Satya Nadella's new book

How thick is it?... just wondering how long they'll be able to put off buying Andrex at home now?

Downloaded CCleaner lately? Oo, awks... it was stuffed with malware

Been many years since I used CCleaner, I did used to but IIRC it may or may not have been responsible for b0rking a couple of machines I was trying to clean up, certainly didn't help them, what I tend to use now for cleaning is a combination of malwarebytes, autoruns and treesize for a basic cleanup will fire up process explorer if I'm suspicious of anything....

think there's only one thing that can be said here....

FAIL

Want to keep in contact with friends and family without having to sell your personal data?

hmm, if you've somewhere with a static IP address, then you just need any old bit of crap to install some XMPP server on and jobs a good un...

Mad scientist zaps himself to determine the power of electric eel shocks

so the new Reg unit is going to be 3.9Watts = 1 eel

???

HSBC biz banking crypto: The case of the vanishing green padlock and... what domain are we on again?

sooo,..... not so much a FAIL as a bit of a cock up then...

Scottish pensioners rage at Virgin cabinet blocking their view

"and we now have no outlook at all."

Maybe thunderbird would work better on a Virgin connection....

What's your flava? Ooo, tell me what's your flava... of Ubuntu

hmm, think I'll be going with Mate, I like it on Mint on the odd occasion I've used mint, am I a heretic because I actually quite like unity though?

Boffins prove oil and water CAN mix – if you do it in a gas giant

Re: water has a 'dissolved gas' capacity

personally, I prefer a Kebab roll with extra chilli sauce on it washed down with a wee dram or something peaty...

kill or cure... s'always cured me so far...

ASUS smoking hashes with 19-GPU, 24,000-core motherboard

can you run mint on it?

Uh oh, scientists know how those diamonds got in Uranus, and they're telling everyone!

Re: " Last night on the loo I sure as hell was creating diamonds."

if carbonated beverage == beer

carbonated beverage > water