* Posts by fortheloveofgod

20 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Oct 2009

Windows Server pushed to the super limit

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

Minesweeper

Will there be enough RAM to play minesweeper on the server?

Paris, because she always beats me at Minesweeper and makes the aircon fail...

Punters 'pooh-pooh video on demand'

fortheloveofgod
FAIL

New?

Not really. Video on Demand has been around since Tudor times. The King of England could ask a Jester/harp playing esembly to play at his beck and call. These were the humble beginnings.

As for now terrestial TV died when Red Dwarf ended... Sigh.

Gates: Killing the internet is easy

fortheloveofgod
Heart

Flying cars...

They are due 2015 (according to Back to the Future Part II).

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

Quality of life...

But if the internet ever got turned off in this country (UK).... think of the benefits, people may engage in human social interaction once more. Those BT adverts with 'it's good to talk' would return and re-runs of Airwolf with the family sat round the telly every night would be a sensation.

I certainly wouldn't lose sleep over the net being down... try it for a week without the internet... I find life less stressful and fulfilling in many ways...

Now I shall retire to my Amiga 500 and smoking jacket/pipe/slippers to reminisce those old times. Oh bugger, now I'm playing Cannon Fodder...

P.S. I am being serious, try the Kellogs Special K diet for a week without the Internet and feel a NEW you!

Paris because she's good to talk to.

Openistas question UK.gov's £300k crime-mapping website

fortheloveofgod
Unhappy

it works...

but there's a burglary missing from our area... which happend last month...

Probably swept under the... elementary my dear magic carpet.

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

The man from Del Monte says: NO!

Blimey, this website takes longer to respond than the Police do to an actual crime!

/bangs head on desk, what a load of dribble.

Paris, because her stats make for better viewing :)

Egypt loses last vestiges of connectivity

fortheloveofgod
Go

This would be the perfect opportunity...

to put a ghetto blaster on the streets of Cairo and play the Bangles - Walk like an Egyptian... it would be a Youtube/World Record for most people walking like an Egyptian!...

Half of UK road users support usage-based road charging

fortheloveofgod
FAIL

Consultation?

"survey of public attitudes"

Sorry but I have never heard of it until now. What consultation? How many were consulted, when and where?

Boffins baffled by mysterious Martian crater

fortheloveofgod
Megaphone

Start the reactor?

Free your mind, Quaid.

iPads for hospitals: is this a good idea?

fortheloveofgod
FAIL

Apple's sky in the pie

I wish you lot would stop talking about Apple's newly created Sanitry products...

Don't see the point in having over-inflated RRP priced Apple products in public sector lines of work and you just know it'll blow up on the day the warranty expires (like most Apple products).

Exposed: Voyeurism and surveillance

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

No app for brain plugin

As long as Google can't index my brain then all is well on Planet Earth!

Paris: She can index my brain anytime.

iPeds, iRobots, and the Chinese iPad clone machine

fortheloveofgod
Heart

At least these have a different name/price tag...

Apple's iPad sounds like a ladies sanitry product with an over excessive price tag...

I'm off to salute china with a cup of tea.

Approaching space object 'artificial, not asteroid' says NASA

fortheloveofgod
Stop

The Invaders are here!

The Invaders, alien beings from a dying planet. Their destination: the Earth. Their purpose: to make it their world. David Vincent has seen them. For him, it began one lost night on a lonely country road, looking for a shortcut that he never found. It began with a closed deserted diner, and a man too long without sleep to continue his journey. It began with the landing of a craft from another galaxy. Now David Vincent knows that the Invaders are here, that they have taken human form. Somehow he must convince a disbelieving world that the nightmare has already begun.

One of the Invaders is Steve Jobs!

AOL first quarter sales nosedive 23 per cent

fortheloveofgod
Dead Vulture

I give AOL

two years before they hit rock bottom.

lots of love,

ex-AOL customer xxx

AOL hits into rough with painful independent fourth quarter

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

AOHell

As an AOL user since 1999 I dis-embarked last year in 2009. The service was actually pretty good in my area until they got bought out by Carphone Warehouse. Then it nose dived, constant failures, fobbed off by indian call centres etc. The only way I got the thing working was using OpenDNS servers!

Turns out CPW do the same now - they use OpenDNS themselves.

The AOL software is terrible - truly an abomination of the binary code.

Paris, because after seeing the errors of my AOL ways I have now found sanctuary another ISP who is like going from dating someone from the local bingo parlour.

Four UK politicians charged for dodgy expenses

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

house of common criminals

If anyone thinks for a minute these four will get 7 years in jail are kidding themselves.

There are plently of others who are just as guilty including Gordon bloody Brown.

The lot of them should be locked up in the London Tower then racked up in stocks for the people to throw out of date Tesco cauliflowers at them for treason! (seriously).

Paris, because I always choose her and she'd make a cool PM...

IT workers told, 'Put down the biscuits, fat boy'

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

Dumb Survey

As an IT worker I find this survey the biggest load of cobblers I've ever come across.

I goto the gym every single day and also participate in other fitness routines - in a week I burn around 12,600 calories.

So I'll keep eating my biscuits thank you very much!

Paris, as she could help me shift another 32,000 calories per week :D

Freeview HD - your questions answered

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

They're taking you for a ride...

I'd quite happily watch Telly in black and white. All this HD stuff is a complete farce.

The detriment to the environment must be HUGE with people upgrading TV sets. LCD's have only really just started to come into their own in the past year and now all this polava.

Paris, because only women look better in HD. Not Emmerdale bloody Farm!

Security boss calls for end to net anonymity

fortheloveofgod
Paris Hilton

Fly back....

into your cuckoo clock Mr. Kaspersky.

Kaspersky idea + infinite variables to overcome = unworkable.

Paris because even she makes more sense...

DARPA, Microsoft, Lockheed team up to reinvent TCP/IP

fortheloveofgod
WTF?

I could cry

They should watch 'Weird Science' and figure out how to make Kelly Le Brock again from a Barbie Doll with a Memotech MX512.

Now that's $31million worth spending for a body like that!