* Posts by Luke 11

47 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Jul 2010

Load of Big Green for Microsoft: Lloyds Banking Group inks company-wide Managed Desktop deal

Luke 11


So more tax dollars wind their way into tax havens and out of the U.K. Not surprising really but it ss rather sad. WOuld have been better were they to have acquired the skills and kept them in house. I can't see how this will save them money in the long run.

Google, Microsoft and AWS will eventually offer everything as as a service or platform and all the professional services work will move in house with a significant chunk being automated.

I'm not against progress but when it means so much power is concentrated in the hands of three large businesses it does make me wonder what the future holds.

Go on, feast your eyes on... HMRC's backend: 4,000 IT staff, its hookup with AWS and more

Luke 11


Let me get this right. Amazon, who on a whole seem to pay next to nothing in tax and are constantly criticised for their culture and the way it apparently treats the workers has been awarded a not insignificant contract by HMRC?

It sounds like HMRC probably pau more than Amazon pays in tax! But that detail won't be released as it's like considered sensitive commercial information.

Teen TalkTalk hacker denies flogging stolen personal data for Bitcoin

Luke 11

Re: bling

Funny that as I lost any sympathy for him when this article mentioned he was a sex offender. Funny how different people have different priorities.

If Shadow Home Sec Diane Abbott can be reeled in by phishers, truly no one is safe

Luke 11

Spot the dog

I think we're safe in the knowledge that the only things she'll have on her computer are 'Spot the Dog' books and a broken calculator.

Assange fails to make skipped bail arrest warrant vanish

Luke 11


I hope this traitorous little pig has to stay there for the rest of his life. At least we're not paying for his incarceration this way. The police and SS should harass every single visitor he has in the hope they give up visiting him.

Lloyds Bank bans Bitcoin purchases by credit card customers

Luke 11

Busy blowing bubbles.

Talk about shutting the stable door once the horse has bolted. I wonder if they're seeing larger cash advances on credit cards used by people buying vapour currency.

Hargreaves Lansdown and Natwest don't let you fund a SIPP or your share dealing account with a credit card. It makes sense really.

The banks aren't going to openly fund a bubble if they haven't got their hands in the till. These pretend currencies are starting to look for and more like some huge scam with every passing day. This is tuning out to be quite amusing.a

US Air Force networks F-15 and F-22 fighters – in flight!

Luke 11

Your comment made me spit my tea over my laptop. The funniest comment I've read in the x years I've been frequenting this site. I wish I knew you in real life!

Huawei's P10 breathing on Samsung's shoulder

Luke 11

Shouldn't it be "Breathing down Samsung's neck" ?

EE looks at its call charges, hikes a bunch, walks off giggling

Luke 11

Cost increases

It's funny how bills always increase by RPI but wages only go up with CPI...

Watch the world's biggest 'flying bum' go arse over tit in a crash

Luke 11

Re: Buns? You want buns?

It's far prettier.

Irritable Cisco kicks Nutanix out of partner program

Luke 11

Re: A Question...

"Huawei the new Chipzilla"... HA HA HA HA HA.

Revealed: How a weather forecast in 1967 stopped nuclear war

Luke 11

BMEWS - RAF Fylingdales

We live not far from BMEWS site RAF Fylingdales. Robin Hood's Bay sits in a depression by the see in comparison to the height at which Fylingdales is placed, so I'm not sure how we'd sit regarding an over-pressure wave, firestorm etc etc. Given the number of MERVS the Russians would sling at it I dare say we wouldn't have much time to worry.

What I am certain of however is death within a few hours / days max from the nuclear fallout with us being in such close proximity.

I am pleased however that it wouldn't last very long either way and until it happens we get to live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. I envy several neighbors who work there. Should they be on shift on the day of reckoning they probably wouldn't know a thing (not working in space operations as it's called).

To be honest I feel more worried about visiting the office in central London and being caught up in a terrorist attack, train crash or dying from heat exhaustion on the tube. Certainly more likely than being nuked.

Windows 7, Server 2008 'Convenience' update is anything but – it breaks VMware networking

Luke 11


What kind do of cretin releases that information freely? Bet your boss will live you.

ISS pump-up space podule fully engorged

Luke 11

Imploding fireball

It would implode if space were pressurised and the space station contained a vacuous non atmosphere ?

Ofcom is keeping schtum over BT Openreach plans until end of year

Luke 11


All this moaning and complaining about opening up infrastructure to competitors will essentially allow foreign owned companies to come in and interfere with our telecoms infrastructure. It's absolutely crazy to try and force BT and Openreach to separate. The should just enforce a level playing field and force Openreach to take the other BT competitors seriously.

Back-to-the-future Nexsan resurrects its SATABeast

Luke 11

Cretinous comment Dimitris!

Have you looked at the product line-up or specifications??!

I have two E60VT units at a customer. They are front loading in three separate trays. You can swap a drive when the whole thing is running and the drives are back to back to the contra rotating platters cancel reduce the vibration and torsional effects.


Luke 11

Cretinous comment

Have you looked at the product line-up or specifications??!

I have two E60VT units at a customer. They are front loading in three separate trays. You can swap a drive when the whole thing is running and the drives are back to back to the contra rotating platters cancel reduce the vibration and torsional effects.


'Phantom' menace threatens to down Xbox Live, PSN at Xmas

Luke 11

Grinch scuzzbots.

To do that at Christmas would be a completely unnecessary and spiteful thing to do.

Who, other than Grinch scuzzbots, would do that?

Why don't they do something useful and go after ALL ISIS are paedophiles? Is it because they're frightened of ALL ISIS are paedophiles.

HP Enterprise will axe 25,000 to 30,000 staff

Luke 11

Ruin at the hands of women.

Before you start attacking me for sexist comments I have two daughters. Women can do anything they set their mind to, just like men. However...

It appears that the biggest most savage cuts, and biggest changes at HP in the last 18 years have been brought about by two women. Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman. I can't help but think to myself that neither of them know what they're doing.

As an enterprise customer we DESPISE being put through to a call center in India. Primarily because of the language gap and secondly because these people generally do not know what they're talking about.

The same is to be said for VMware support. You get someone in Ireland or Texas then you're onto a winner. You get some dude in wheverthehellabad and you might as well hang up.

Has anyone lost 37 dope plants, Bolton cops nonchalantly ask on Facebook

Luke 11

Re: Well who knows ?

I thought we'd won WW2 and all the Nazis were dead?

Apparently not, how is life in South America Herr Hitler?

Fibre Channel over Ethernet is dead. Woah, contain yourselves

Luke 11

Said no HP enterprise customer. Ever.

So you've spent £110k on FlexFabric per blade enclosure for converged networking and now some buffoon thinks they can grab a few panic clicks by writing this drivel.

Rackspace's 'fanatical' army drops in on rival clouds

Luke 11


I went for an interview in Stockley park office about eight years ago. Fortunately I didn't get the job.

There was some sour grapes at the time, primarily based around their interest in how well everyone was dressed, the fact they sent in three different people to interview me without any explanation. The people with whom I met were rude an arrogant. Conceited. By the end of the interview my distaste for how they operated was obvious, despite my best effort to remain polite. I didn't get offered the job, a relief actually as the pay was very competitive and I'd have been forced to working with pre hipster douche bags solely down to moneyh..

To cut a long post interview diagnosis short I ended up joining a truly innovative company who've allowed me to grow in every way I ever wanted. Which, not surprisingly is not out of my comfort zone.

Woah there Dot Hill, that's one seriously fat sales boom

Luke 11

Dot WHO ?

For those of you not in the know the HP Storageworks MSA series SANs are rebadged DOT HILL.

GCHQ protesters stick it to British spooks ... by drinking urine

Luke 11

Fed the scum?

The police spent my money (a taxpayer) feeding scumbags protesting against the state protecting our national interests? That more than anything else is what irritates me, let the scum starve. I for one will be launching an official complaint. How dare they feed them.

Pepper spray and Alsatians is what the protesting scum deserved.

Luke 11


The traitor protester scum shouldn't be allowed to take pictures of the buildings or any of the staff full stop. They're scum and should allow the government organisation I pay good money for freedom to go about their business of protecting our national intertests.

Investigate each and ever attendee and make sure they're not claming benefits.

Revealed: GCHQ's beyond top secret Middle Eastern internet spy base

Luke 11


You people absolutely disgust me. Disseminating this information puts us and government personnel in danger. You're as bad as that traitor Snowden and should be hung for treason.

Bugger the fact that these installations cost tens of millions to design and build so you're essentially throwing hard earned tax payers money down the drain.

I can't believe how disgusted I am right now. You make me want to be sick.

I've seen the future of car radio - and DAB isn't in it

Luke 11

Re: In 2014?! A new service "offering" 48Khz?!?!?

You drive your wife's 5 series into the garage in addition to parking your own car (Austin Princess) at the end of the street? Douche.

Ho, ho, HOLY CR*P, ebuyer! Etailer rates staff on returns REJECTED

Luke 11

He'll freezes over.

I can't believe one of those pretty girls is qualified to reject any of my RMA claims. Is one of them called Dan?

Hide all the ugly boys and bring out the reception staff.

iPhone rises, Android slips in US, UK

Luke 11

Big_Ted small on ideas?

And what prey tell is the fucking wrong with buying a good phone cheaply and getting a good deal on a sim only contract. Please don't tell me you're a phone snob who publicly winces when someone gets a phone out other than an S4 or I5 ?

because if you're one of those people you're dick.

Luke 11

Re: I wonder if it's straightforward role reversal

'Chev' ? What is a fuking chev? I would get the dictionary out except I can't be arsed. Don't get me wrong, I like Apple products, having an iPAD 4 I think it's brilliant, but to start categorising people as 'chevs' because they have an Android phone is ridiculous. You sound like a real arsehole to me, you know one that's been sat in the car for a bit too long, on a hot sunny day, under a fat person.

One could categorise Apple product owners as wire framed spectacled wearing Saab driving cunts shrink wrapped in a shitty looking turtle neck sweater with dandruff on the shoulders, but one wouldn't because one isn't a cock.

Microsoft fattens Exchange Online mailboxes to 50GB

Luke 11

Re: "spare capacity to handle all the signups to online services Windows 8.1 is sure to generate"

And I see what you just tried to do.

BILLION DOLLAR BALLMER: Microsoft chief makes $1bn simply by quitting

Luke 11


Spot on mate!

Limbaugh: If you hate Apple then you're a lefty blog-o-twat hipster

Luke 11


Wonder if this cocksucker has Shares in Apple and has been upset by their lacklustre performance as of late, despite them still making oodles of money. A result of competitors becomming more competitive and offering better products, not as a result of Apple doing anything wrong I might add.

I am an Apple fan, I love their designs and their OS. What I also like is my freedom to choose and to also enjoy WIndows 8 on my Ultrabook (costing much less than Mac Book Pro) and my Brilliant Samsung S3 phone which is superb.. Despite the 'free' apps which want access to every function of your phone including tracking and everything else they shouldn't be bloody well looking at!

Microsoft: 'Google's secret government meetings let it avoid import ban' - Report

Luke 11

Re: Google, just pull your finger out of your arse and start paying royalties.

Well said.! People forget that because of Microsoft more money has been through their success to needy people then has been given by all the other charities in the world, ever.

Microsoft might not be perfect but that company and Bill's generosity have given the world more than anybody else.

I would rather see Microsoft succeed and Bill Gates make more money to give away then any other company.

Luke 11

Re: Microsoft should keep its mouth shut

You sound bitter Dave. Did Microsoft let you go because you were rubbish at your job or just surplus to requirements ?

Luke 11

Re: Mirror, mirror in my hand....

Why do you think Microsoft and Apple haven't seen each other in court yet? A gentleman's agreement that they would pursue all the other scummy companies and not go for one another. Good. Google need putting in their place, as do Samsung.

Luke 11

Re: Tit for tat

You're right of course. I hope !icrosoft smash Google in the face with a very heavy toy.

'You can keep it' - Brit's nicked laptop turns up on Iranians' sofa

Luke 11
Paris Hilton

Thieving Iranian Scum

By saying he didn't want his laptop back After no don't claiming on his insurance I think he should be rogered vigorously by the insurance company.

He's also effectively stolen of all you guys as well as his insurance premiums will go up.

I might buy a flat and fill it with aids infested MacBooks, hopefully some of them will find their way to Iran and wipeout some terrorist supporters.

Paris, because she stole my heart.


Want to know if that hottie has HIV? Put their blood in the DVD player

Luke 11

Re: Shatter!

Yeah that's the one. I forget people don't really have a sense of humour on here though. Not like a few years ago.

Whilst it is an impressive bit of kit the, it is also boring. I was trying to make it more exciting by imagining some tech getting AIDS from it (apparently the HIV virus isn't very durable however) or even better still some zombie related illness.

Could it be modified to fire out spinning metal tungsten-carbide disks impregnated with the T-Virus from the resident evil movies? That would be far more exciting.

Luke 11


So a CD / DVD covered in potentially disgusting filthy AIDS blood get loaded into a player. Due to a power surge the player spins at 100k rpm and shatters the media. The poor lab assistant then gets riddled with bits of DVD covered with AIDS .. NICE ;-)

Dot Hill: Performance isn't everything... check out our, er, cheap capacity

Luke 11

Reliability - HP

@Matt. Yes that's it Matt, my skills. Has nothing to do with buggy firmware, corrupted flash memory on controllers and bad replication technology. I'll tell you what, you post an e-mail address and I'll forward you all the anonymised support e-mails you arsehole.

On a lighter note never had these kind of issues with NetApp, IBM VX7000 or Qnap for that matter.


Luke 11

Reliability - HP

Neither is reliability when the things are rebranded and sold by HP. Absolute piles of shit in my opinion. The MSA 2000 and P2000 series have horific firmware and controller issues... BARF. I've installed about 30 of them over the last four years so know what I',m talking about.

Sick software nasty uses child abuse pics to extort infected victims

Luke 11


The poor unfortunate who's computer this will appear on will no doubt cr@p their pants. We had an instance of someomes laptop being hijacked the other day by a virus called PCEU. Effectively it told the user they had copyrighted material on their machine and had to pay $100, at which point it would be unlocked.

Service desk removed the disk, threw it in the bin and relied on WDS and SCCM to rebuild his laptop (SSD Disk) in about 8 minutes.

Unfortunately the average user doesn't have people like this to assist and could easily be duped out of hard earned money, taking the machine to a shop or getting someone in to remedy the issue could lead to awkward questions and assumptions about the user. Knowing what I do I could fix it myself but if I were Mr. Benson the single 50 year old man with a grumpy dog and no friends and little computer knowledge I might take the offending machine into the garden and terminate it.

The people who publish this sort of malware (any is obviously bad) should be treated as paedophiles and exposed as such. To be honest I'm in favour of a good old fashioned hanging for them. All paedos, including the ones 'doing it for reasearch' should be exterminated.

BT earmarks 66 more exchanges for fibre-to-the-cabinet upgrade

Luke 11


Since when did smackheads need FTTC? We live in Robin Hood's Bay and we're much more deserving of FTTC than Bridlington. Tax revenues for our village per capita head will far outstrip those of Bridlington. Makes me sick.

Boris-Bike firm penalised by £5m over system hiccups

Luke 11

Tfl hit team?!

Even more surprising than a project not being delivered on-time / working / reliable by a major contractor on a local authority / government project is that someone said Tfl have a hit team to go into Serco to help iron out the problems.

The only thing Tfl has ever been good at is ripping off people with the congestion charge failed to pay 'Turbo fine accellerator!' which by any standards, is very good at robbing Joe Public to subsidise crappy initiatives such as this whole rent a crappy bike fiasco.


Steve Jobs denies Judas Phone antenna problems

Luke 11
Jobs Horns


I don't want a plastic or rubber bumber to get my fucking phone to work properly... I want to phone to work as it was sold to be, with the steel casing showing.

Steve Jobs can stick this phone up his arse, I'm going to jailbreak the mofo as soon as possible and never pay for another ffing app ever again.

Jobs, you're such a douche bag (American speak so he can understand)

Ex-MI6 officer admits attempt to sell secrets

Luke 11


They should hang the ba5tard for treason.