* Posts by Dr Insanity

74 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2009


The Paper Cinema's breathtaking Odyssey comes to London

Dr Insanity

Re: Wheeeee!

@Simon - what you said! she loved it :D

3D printed guns: This time it's for real! Oh, wait – no, still crap

Dr Insanity

Re: But against the backdrop of your British readership...

SO19? I always thought Woolston was a relatively peaceful part of Hampshire?

NHS quango fatcats spend £2m tax dosh on iPads and iPhones

Dr Insanity

How many of these devices will be left **unencrypted** on public transport?

Fixed that for you

Plucky Playmonaut parties as LOHAN hits Kickstarter goal

Dr Insanity

Bonus Points

Kudos for the Alestorm inspired sub-headline, assuming of course that it was intentional...

Lots of wenches is what I need!

Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty

Dr Insanity


My best Full English of late actually came from Wales, The Quarterpenny Cafe in Cowbridge does what are quite possibly the greatest scrambled eggs I've ever had. Also opted for the Vege sausage not through any mistrust of meat (the bacon was thick sliced and wonderful) but a cheese and leek sausage that wasn't even remotely trying to imitate meat sounded too good to pass up. Unfortunately that's a 250 mile round trip just for breakfast.

Best breakfast available locally is some little greesy spoon café where they somehow manage to both simultaniously undercook and overcook the bacon, give the eggs the consistency of a pencil eraser and the sausages have the consistency of something which has already been eaten once, bagged up and cooked again.

Japanese finally produce a ROBOT which isn't DEAD INSIDE

Dr Insanity


Joke Telling Robots? give it a rocket booster up it's arse and you'd have your very own Mr Handy!

ASUS launches 5-in-1 Android Windows Phone laptop tablet (breathe)

Dr Insanity

I have (had) a Padfone 2 and thought the idea of having a phone convert to a tablet using the same brain and retaining it's mobile data and calling ability was brilliant. The only thing missing for me was the keyboard dock as per the Padfone1.

This looks perfect for me, my only hope is they give this a little more support in the UK than they have all of the previous Padfones. I don't even think the Infinity ever made it here in any official capacity and the Infinity 2 definitely did not. If this is released in the UK chalk me up as a buyer

Look what's screeching into the Internet of Stuff: Self-driving cars

Dr Insanity

Re: Mental

In part I can see your point and agree, but given that a premium sports saloon is generally the same engine as the standard model, albeit with a differently configured ECU, it could be argued that the buyer of the standard saloon bought the car and should benefit from the features of the more expensive sport model? I would see the idea of downloading the Sports profile for a weekend as a sort of PAYG GTI feature. Instead of spending the premium when purchasing the car as a lump sum, the buyer could instead just pay for it at a time when they'd actually use the additional performance, and spend a lot less.

The ability to parentally control the power output, or set a car to the most economical profile on the fly would be very useful, however, and I don't think that buyers of the higher performance cars should be charged extra to "downgrade" to these ECU configurations.

Faster Macbook Air pops out: What, a NEW Apple thing and ZERO fanfare?

Dr Insanity

Re: Wow

Most windows laptops in the last couple of years have multi-touch trackpads as well. Both my current HP and my previous Dell were multi-touch. Have you tried it on your Vaio?

I always preferred having the scroll bar area along the bottom and one side of the trackpad rather than multi-touch, but that's just personal preference at the end of the day.

Why two-player games > online gaming: See your pal's shock as you bag a last-second victory

Dr Insanity



That is all

Amazon wants me to WEAR NAPPIES?! But I'm a 40-something MAN

Dr Insanity

clearly you're just holding the internet wrong

Women! You too can be 'cool' and 'fun' if you work in tech!

Dr Insanity

Re: Open your fucking eyes.

What we need are meta-"we need more men in X campaigns", I shall start a "we need more "we need more men in X campaigns" campaign" forthwith and with immediate procrastination.

Why can’t I walk past Maplin without buying stuff I don’t need?

Dr Insanity

Re: Great headline!

It scares me how much their prices seem to have hiked in recent years. When I worked there back in the early noughties it was £1.49 for an ADSL microfilter, and £1.69 for a 30cm SATA cable. Now when I need one urgently I cry, as they are both over £5. (of course, if they are not urgent I get them online).

Ubisoft's Watch Dogs muzzled by delays

Dr Insanity

Re: Hmm... a new variation of "won't anyone think of the children", I see.

Played it, loved it - never got around to completing it...

Great game for lateral thinkers, there's always more than one way to solve a problem if you think about it the right way.

Dr Insanity

Re: Let me translate:

"Or alternatively. Our marketing droids insisted we come up with a obscure real world threat to publicise this expensive new business unit we have set up, and Ubisoft were the most likely not to sue us."

Or Ubisoft were the most likely to benefit from the increase in sales garnered from a "controversial" game.

No-one batted an eyelid when Introversion released Uplink, even though that's probably a closer approximation to "real world hacking" - and I bet a whole lot less people have heard of that now than Watch Dogs

Osborne to China: Keep watching Downton and we'll gloss over Huawei security worries

Dr Insanity

Re: China in my LANs

But surely if Huawei are spying on our packets, that's one less Export Osbourne has to thank them for... We can't exactly sell them our information if they're sniffing it themselves?


This is a bandwagon jumping joke, just in case anyone important is reading this, and any thoughts expressed within, whether the actual opinion of the author or not, are intended as jest and not to be taken seriously - Please don't send the boys round Mr NSA/Huawei/GCHQ spook


The Vulture 2: What paintjob should we put on our soaraway spaceplane?

Dr Insanity

Re: Register Red of course!

Evrywun knows red wuns go faster! Wurr hurr hurr

"Wot's faster than a warbuggy, more killy than a warbike, and flies through da air like a bird? I got no bleedin' idea, but I'm gonna find out." - Kog da Flymek, pioneer of da Dethkopta and honorary Mekboy of da Reg Speshul Projeks Bureau

Radiation snatched from leaky microwave ovens to power gadgets

Dr Insanity

Re: Very interesting

I Imagine they could find more use in a commercial setting where the microwaves are in more regular use; Perhaps to power the Canteen clock or similar? it's free (well - utilised waste) power at the end of the day - why not use it?

Punter strikes back at cold callers - by charging THEM to call HIM

Dr Insanity

Spam Spam Spam Spammity SPAAAAM

Is there such a thing as a premium rate email address?

Nintendo is FLATLY UNHINGED: New 2DS is a handful of game

Dr Insanity

With the popularity of the Pokémon games being one of the factors keeping Nintendo afloat (along with Zelda and Mario) It can't be a coincidence that one of the colour schemes is essentially the Pokéball edition. Don't see why they don't just release one that looks like a Pokédex and have done with it!

Asus staggers into summer heatwave thirsty for sales, sweating profit

Dr Insanity


I can't help but think that part of the problem is marketing. I am a happy owner of a Padfone 2 tablet/phone combo, and most people who see it have never heard of it. Unlike Samsung and Apple which are now household names, no-one seems to know who Asus are any more.

My Padfone is roughly equivalent to a Galaxy S3 spec-wise, the hardware looks and feels better built, and came with a dock to turn it into a 10" tablet, all for £5 less per month than an S3. They should have been selling like hotcakes, instead I found only two places in the UK actually selling the device, and they rarely had stock. How do Asus expect to sell anything if no-one is stocking their products?

The Transformer was one of, if not the first Android tablet with the Keyboard dock to give it a laptop form factor. The Padfone is still unique to Asus. They are outputting ideas that are different to the masses and make a lot of sense. Even the "normal" devices like the Nexus 7 are very good, solidly built pieces of kit that should compete favourably with most other manufacturers. It's a real shame not more people have cottoned onto what Asus have to offer.

Windows 8 apps pass 100K, Windows 8 passes Vista

Dr Insanity

Re: Hate Win8? Get Classic Shell.

Surely if the selling point for Win8 is that it replicates XP better with Hyper-V than Win7 with XP mode, then surely the answer is to use Windows XP - I've heard it emulates XP better than both, most of the time at least...

Brit fantasy artist sues James Cameron over Avatar world

Dr Insanity

Rip Offs or just similar ideas

The other Avatar, of Airbending fame lived on floating mountains as well didn't he? Knuckles the Echidna resided on the floating Emerald Island in Sonic the Hedgehog. I know I've seen it in Final Fantasy before and a quick browse of TVTropes brings up plenty more examples - Surely there's some sort of prior art type argument to protect this one?

As for "a film project about evil mining interests destroying a planet and an indigenous people who were at one with their rainforest environment": Pochahontas, Last of the Mohicans, Ferngully...

Fair enough if the artist sold him the idea and he created the film, but the same story has been told a hundred times before, some of them even based on real life. Are we going to have a stream of creative infringements every time someone takes a well known story and tags "in space" onto the concept, the same as we have a bunch of IP lawsuits where people are taking a well known and well utilised concept and tagging on "on a mobile device"

Much as, like any true Brit should, I like to support an underdog; it upsets me when so many people set out to cash in one someone else's success. William Roger Dean would likely go down in history alongside artists like Storm Thorgerson for some of the most interesting or memorable album covers in history; now, instead, he will likely not go down in history as yet another bandwagon riding scavenger, taking what they can from someone elses success story

I said ‘no’ to a million-pound Tech City empire

Dr Insanity


HYPERSONIC METEOR smashes into Russia, injuring hundreds

Dr Insanity

Re: Oops

@John Smith 19: no more than 2 metres across? Why, that's no bigger than a wamp rat

Pop's Chubby Checker condemns use of Palm to check pocket-chubby

Dr Insanity

Re: The *real* reason he's suing.

@ Ikoth - Either that or he'll be attempting to push a new album soon and wants to make sure people remember his name. Streisand effect used to self promote perhaps

Dogs would say: size is important, shape - not so much

Dr Insanity

Not a ubiquotous XKCD, but I think this time it makes a better reference


That horrendous iPhone empurplement - you're holding it wrong

Dr Insanity

"You're holding it wrong"...

Something's just changed in the Matrix, either that or I'm getting a huge sense of Deja Vu

WoW cities wiped out by 'exploit'

Dr Insanity

Looks like Richard struck again!

Excitement abounds

I almost can't wait

Relax, I don't want your baby

I already ate

Though I do tend to generally kill

Kill things that don't fight back

I see this village

What does it hold?

What shall I butcher them with

Fire or cold?

Running from me sure you'd think

'He's a pathological bloodthirsty homicidal maniac!'

I'd kill kittens and puppies and bunnies

I'd maim toddlers and teens and then more

You see a wife? I see a widow

But what then?

Can't you see?

I'd kill four!

I want to incinerate and decapitate

I want to melt

Want to melt some faces

Watching the peasants...what do they call it?


I suppose that being undead there's not much to life

A soul is needed for loving...feeling...

How does this all not make me...what's that word again?


You've nowhere to hide

Nowhere to run

Your village will burn like the heart of the sun!

With infinite glee

It's going to be me

That slaughters the world!

How could I glare into these eyes

And then not stab them?

How could I stare at their loss

And then not laugh?

I'd cut him in half

Then I'd graft

His head back onto his shoulders

Or after I'd lop it

I'd make a puppet

On top of a staff!

I am a lord that is sometimes bored

Have some urges and need to fulfill them

After my mayhem I simply don't...what's the word?


The stench in the air

The smell of the gore

The carnage far greater than any war

My legacy

Death becomes...me!

I'll slaughter the world


Oregon farmer devoured by own hogs

Dr Insanity

Re: Role Reversal

Or was it Roll Reversal?

Million pound question: Did they use Ketchup or HP Brown?

Neal Stephenson on swordplay, space and depressing SF

Dr Insanity

Re: Dystopian

40k fiction also has a nice way around the tech-level issues some of the other commentators have mentioned - having a nice tech-reset where all the worlds knowledge is wiped and they have to reinvent most things by reverse engineering what few (relatively) relics they have left.

Considering it was only started as an aside for a gaming system, the 40k universe is one of the most expansive I have come across. it deals very well with the vast distances between planets so that you can have isolated story-lines that take place almost independently of the rest of the Universe, while also allowing for massive space opera story-lines that can span galaxies. such is the fickle and unpredictable nature of the Warp.

UK milk wastage = 20,000 cars = actually completely unimportant

Dr Insanity

Wasted Milk...

why is everyone crying about it?

Boffins crack on with ultimate roboass

Dr Insanity
Big Brother

Re: whats the use?

You would seriously risk putting all of those puppet makers out of business by replacing politicians with Robots? How dare you!

Star Trek's Wesley Crusher blasts Google+ landgrab

Dr Insanity

So let me get this straight... Wesley Crusher saves the day again?

1 finger: Captain says "make it so" or a Redshirt dies

2 fingers: Data doesn't get the joke or Worf doesn't get the joke

3 fingers: Geordie reverses the polarity of something

4 fingers: Wesley saves the day

Everyone take a drink!

Moon at annual perigee this weekend

Dr Insanity

That's no moon....

Sci Fi recomendations?

Dr Insanity

Re: Sci Fi recomendations?

Might not be a technique for everyone, but after El Reg did their poll of the top Sci-Fi movies never made, I copied it down as a checklist and am slowly making my way through them.

Once I've finished that list I plan on going through the "also-ran"s on the list. If I particularly like one of the authors I might take a look at some of their other stuff.

I really enjoyed Ender's Game by Orsen Scott Card. For me it hit the perfect pace of not so quick you get blown away and miss all the details, but quick enough you want to continue reading. I started on Speaker for the Dead but I am really struggling to get into it, the whole story moves a lot slower.

A nice short one that was great fun and had a couple of interesting twists was Deathworld by Harry Harrison. His is a name I've come across elsewhere as well so if his other books have the same flow I will certainly be looking for more. you can pick it up for free from Project Gutenberg.

If you don't consider yourself above some of the more "Mainstream" or cliché action Sci-Fi, the Games Workshop Black Library novels, particularly the Horus Heresy series, can be a very good read. I know some people have pretensions about how they could never stoop so low as to read books based on a series of toys, but the background fluff for the Warhammer 40,000 Universe is very broad and very detailed, and there's a lot of story to be found there.

While I dabbled in gaming beforehand, it was reading the Soul Drinkers series by Ben Counter that really got me interested in playing an army properly, modifying models and using less than competitive lists to capture the essence of the characters in the books.

More recently I have started another force based on the Gaunt's Ghosts books by Dan Abnett, about a force of Gaelic Ninja Soldiers in Outer Space... basically, and a great starting point for an interesting army. I think his inquisition Series Eisenhorn and Ravenour are better stories in general, and give more scope for unique characters, for me the Ghosts was a better series on which to base an army.

Lingerie-clad she-devils romp past watchdog

Dr Insanity
Paris Hilton

Re: So for all you guys out there...

Funny you should ask that... most of the women I know wouldn't want to watch a video full of guys, and not because they're all lesbians.

Most of them are straight and they still all agree that the female figure, especially when scantily clad, is that much more aesthetically pleaseing that the male figure. Something to do with curves being in the right places, and my gender generally being about as shapely as a slab of steak!

You can proffer as much equality as you like, end of the day women are prettier to look at than men!

Powerful, wallet-sized Raspberry Pi computer sells out in SECONDS

Dr Insanity

Re: Re: Earth to Grinch.....

14. Relaunch the show Robot Wars, but rather than have them all radio controlled - give them pi for brains and automatic battles with pre-programmed routines!

Court rejects Tesla’s latest libel spat with Top Gear

Dr Insanity

Re: Re: Re: Tesla is the future, old people....

Most of the miles clocked up on a regular basis in this country is probably down to various Sales Reps for whomever, and Long distance lorry drivers.

I know our Reps can comfortably clock up 200-300 miles per day when they're on the road. For long distance lorry drivers, the clue is in the name!

For electric cars to really take off, they need to have a place in the company fleet. That's when big businesses will invest in the infrastructure, and in 3 years time when they're all up for renewal, that's when there will be a flood of electric cars on the 2nd hand market.

Some minicab firms and local couriers are starting to introduce alternative fuels, but they tend to be short range city driving. We need to hit the nationwide oil burners.

Satnav blunders blamed for £200m damages

Dr Insanity

Common Sense

Surely there has to be a point when a driver says "That turning would drive me directly into a building, perhaps I should ignore the satnav this time."

Driver aids are just that, aids! Technology not a substitute for actual driving ability! ABS is not a substitute for leaving appropriate braking distances and slowing down a bit in the wet. Lane control is not a substitute for staying awake and aware while on the motorway, and Satnav is not a substitute for looking at the road and applying the old noodle!

Swiss space-cleaning bot grabs flying junk, hurls itself into furnace

Dr Insanity

What about organic trash collectors... aka


Hey Commentards! This pre-populated 'reply to' is for you

Dr Insanity

Re: Re: Re: Apples are shit

Hitler - your argument is now invalid

Keeping the Godwin alive!

Moviemakers on a quest for their real-time 3D Holy Grail

Dr Insanity

You're not alone... Like many things it seems the technology and effects have taken over from a good story line. Toy Story didn't have the toys and spangles of Avatar, so the writers wrote a story which would be timeless, as opposted to re-hashing Pochahontas, or Last of the Mohicans, in space... with smurfs...

Same is true all over the place; Ask an RPG fan their favourite Final Fantasy and 9/10 will prefer whiskers (no wait, that's cats. They'll say FF7). even though the gameplay mechanics, graphics and spangles have been superceeded by a huge margin. When Square released the tech demo of the PS3 by rendering the FF7 intro in high-def, I can't count how many people yearned for the full game, rather than the XIII that was thrust upon them in its place.

I think the biggest shame is the films which think "we've got threedee now, we must make the most of it" and so fill the film with as many instances of stuff rushing toward the camera as possible, completely lacking any substance to weave them together (Final Destination, I'm looking at you!)

Steve Jobs named most influential game guy – ever

Dr Insanity

I'm still hoping the line was a concealed application for FotW

Avira anti-virus labels itself as spyware

Dr Insanity

"You should beware what your scanner does and make sure that in case of doubt you'll be the one calling the shots."

If only more people had this sort of thinking, there'd be less stories of motorists finding themselves stuck in a canal after following a satnav.... Why is it that Common Sense, much like Common Courtesy, is now an oxymoron

Dr Insanity

How can they be decreasing if they are concentric?


Google report reveals YouTube takedown requests... by country

Dr Insanity
Big Brother

I'm afraid the list of words we're not allowed to say has to be stored in a safe on the independant micronation of Sealand, since any copies brought onto UK soil would be illegal.

The bearers of the document found guilty will be punished by flogging, having their nipples tweaked and their ears ripped off. The document would be torn up, burned and trodden on. (This part is especially fun when the document is stored digtally, as the 1s and 0s have to then be sorted into 2 seperate piles, each of these being destroyed in corrosive acid and alkaline respectively to ensure they cannot intermingle, and any attempt to merge them will be PH neutral)

Pay Jobs due respect - by crushing the empire he created

Dr Insanity


There seems to be a lot of discussion about servers which is missing the point of the original statement "but the personal computer industry (and later servers) is founded upon the strength of Windows and Microsoft's inclusive partner vision. "

Yes servers came along later, but primarilty what Matt appears to be saying is that the PERSONAL computer industry is founded on windows, and truely, if it weren't for the partnership of MS-DOS and IBM in the early years, the PC wouldn't be the ubiquotous home electronic device it is today.

From the server perspective, they might not necessarily be the most reliable, or market leaders, or anything... fact remains that MS Operating systems are a massive influence on the servers running today, whether it be that they are running Windows Server themselves, or that they contain features inspired by MS AD server arcitecture, or even if they meerly have to interface with other systems running MS... your web server can be running any OS it likes, it would be pretty useless if if didn't cater for MS Internet explorer alongside all the other browsers!

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Dr Insanity

Maybe it does work, doesn't the iPhone, and higher-end Android phones, have that oil-phobic coating on the screen? Maybe rubbing it against your face forces the pimple causing grease from your pores and away from your skin... just be sure to wash after every application!

Ford unwraps Evos cloud-connected concept car

Dr Insanity

<Insert Title Here>

Nice to know I'm not the only one who thought it.

Aston have had that distinctive grill shape in one form or another for best part of 60 years, I'm not sure if I'm happy or outraged to see it displayed so proudly on their more reasonably priced cousins