* Posts by ThomasF

21 posts • joined 1 Oct 2009

Aliens more likely to live on moons than planets, say boffins

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Aliens on the Moon - Location Location Location

I am sure all this about Living on moons was discussed in Eisenhower’s 1954 meeting With the Extraterrestrials


Like Russia flogging off far away Alaska - Which stopped Sarah Palin from running against Putin for Presidency.

I am sure Ike said yes you Grey chappies we can sell you the Moon. Who wants to live on the Moon. "snigger snigger snortle" never mind who actually owns it.

God knows what else of the Earth Solar System Family Silver he flogged off that day in 1954

Google demos image rec 'quantum computer'

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A Quantum Leap for Google Skynet

It's John Connor time again it seems as "Rage Against The Machine" takes over the Google Xmas Charts

Google seem to be pushing the envelope everywhere. All them guys in Montana fighting against the UN will have to move on as The Google men look like they will rule the Qubit World.

If there is a world after Cern and the Mayan's are finished with it.

"Quantum Adiabatic Algorithms" Nuff said:+~

IT first to abandon Tiger Woods sponsorship

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Very Close to a Cheating Hat Trick for Gillette

They have Henry the Cheat and Tiger the Cheat so all they need is for Federer to Roger some blond, not his wife, bimbo and its a clean sweep or a close shave.

Its the best a man can get indeed.

I always wondered why Henry the Hand was in the Adds with Roger the Dodger and Tiger the Wood

We may soon find out.

LHC pulverises previous record: 2.36 TeV surprise collision!

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Lord Byron will be pleased

"A Runaway Conceptual Custardisation Process Caused by a Collaptical explosion"

It cannot be put more eloquently than that. Even Luis Sancho will be nodding his head at that statement.

Its up there with "The Best of Byron Xmas Hits"

Methinks the Pan-Continuum police force will be making notes as to the flowery nature of our regard for "The Higgs bosons experiment"

As Higgs Boson turns out to be indeed his own sister.

The "custardisation process" thickens

IBM thinks outside the box with containerized data centres

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Gardner Shed In Da Box outta Da Box thinking

At the 28th annual Gardner Shed Data Center Tree hugging show.

This makes perfect sense as we try to save the Planet and the Trees

Paint all the worlds Gardner sheds green and fill them full of IBM Hot toasty Servers

The Bill and Ben world approach to Data center Bloat

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

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BigBangers - Cute Heurs and Rumsfeld Unknowns

It is heartening to be told that the LHC will not as promised by Luis Sancho turn us all into

a Soupy grey Mixture but "There is some chance, according to reputable sources, that it will open up a dimensional portal"


A top boffin at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) says that the titanic machine may possibly create or discover previously unimagined scientific phenomena called Rumsfeld Uknowns or "unknown unknowns" - for instance "an extra dimension".#

So the X-Portal Jury is still out on this - Its a case of -

its not over until the Fat Proton Sings

Google expands plan to run own internet

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Yep Folks it looks like Skynet is upon us

"Google said it is intent on expanding this infrastructure between one million and 10 million servers, encompassing 10 trillion (1013) directories and a quintillion (1018) bytes of storage. All this would be spread across "100s to 1000s" of locations around the world."

Jazus the mind boogles at googles - Self aware Machine and a non-saintly regime change

We will be fucked.

But will we notice as life goes on and we star swallowing the Blue pills

LHC back after temporary unexistence

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Luis Sancho Portal X-Dimension postponed

Its the 3rd Dec 2009 and it was the day we would open the Pandora Box X-Dimension

But due to "The Butterfly effect" on the Space Station we have been saved for another day.

Luis is out there trying to round up another Aircraft carrier with an even younger Kirk Douglas in command to try and ram it again. But it seems their is a finite number of Kirk Douglas/Aircraft Carriers in the known Universes so we are doomed it seems.

But on the bright side maybe we are in the Universe that survives.

LHC knocked out by ANOTHER power failure

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Luis Sancho come back all is forgiven

Where is our only hope when you need him.


Its Pyramid selling big time but Luis is the man to do it and stop Cern in its tracks.

OK he failed first time around but him and Walter Sanchez at least tried to stop Cern from

turning the world to "A Grey Aldi Xmas Gooey paste"


Luis get a hair job and go on the X-Factor or even Cern-needs-Talent

Spread the word - Cern is going down!

LHC smashes Tevatron record: Humanity enters the unknown

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Am I the only one that enjoyed this rant. It has it all, enough Techno babble to scare the knickers of a woolly mammoth.

"Just substitute in E=Mc2 and ExT=K (einstein’s 2 formulas for energy) and you get M=k/T=k v (frequency) – Mass is therefore the frequency of a cyclical vortex, a clock of time that carries the information of the Universe. "

Enough Semi Religious Babble (if you look hard enough) to straighten up a bent Dublin Priest. "The God particle will find you and it knows what you have done"

"This machine-weapon MUST be halted till the theoretical dispute between quantum theorists and relativity theorists is solved"

Quantom Black Hole Cannons at dawn, perhaps, will settle this:=#

Good on you Luis.

It was definitely not your usual iFart comment from bored White Van drivers txting in from Peckam Common.

I for one cannot wait to see what happens next!

BBC storm cockup: Wrong day's shipping forecast read

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Paradox in reverse perhaps

In the new BBC Flash Forward Copy/Rip Off - Paradox - JPG's are flooding in from the future via a very violent and angry Mayan Sun lookalike.

The new Radio show could be warning of violent storms from the Past called perhaps


But will it catch on. If you don't want to hear last weeks Football results close your ears now:=]

Or maybe that is why we have FreeView:+/

The Past is out there!

Triumph in Geneva! LHC beams up and running again

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Cern and John Titor Time Traveler

Well John Titor did say time travel or in his case Parallel Worlds Time Travel was discovered at Cern as they tried to to turn Life The Universe and Everything into a sort of Tesco grey Goo.


Though he never mentioned anything about Dolphins or a supposed Thank you note.

But at least we have proof that something good did come out off all those $Zillions poured into the Swiss Tony Doughnut. Before we destroyed ourselves that is.

Will Ferrell is Hollywood's most over-rated overpaid star

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Leave Frank The Tank Alone

Just for the part in that movie (Old School) alone he is a "Movie Star". As to being Over Paid Over Laid and Over There. I saw him get blown away in an TV episode of "The Guardian" Which shows he can act when he wants to.

Is Woody ( the child taker) Allan on the list?

Atlantis heads for ISS with spare parts

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All Shuttles available before Mayan Mayhem Strikes

All the Nasa Shuttles can now be used for ferrying the great and good up to the Space Ark before the rest of us Plebes get zapped by Planet X in Dec 2012.

Bloody convenient they are all available before the end of the Mayan Calendar to take Bill Gates and Simon Cowell away to safety.

French woman marries dead fiancé

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French 10 Mega Pixel Swinger

Knowing that the Frenchmen's virility knows no bounds, could we be in for a photographic booth style divorce case a bit down the road as the fiance/wife/Widow finds the Photo hubby in bed with a photo of Jordan for example.

If she believes the photo is her wedded husband, anything is possible and most times is.

Almighty rumpus in Swedish lesbian enclave

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Anna Friels Arse asks for Assylum

It amazing that the only thing to come out of this whole plastic jobbie picture with any dignity is Anna Friels Arse

The Plastic Lesbian cannibal People that seem to populate this part of the frozen north must be going gaga for a slice of the famous Friel Hairy Bacon. Has she been arsenapped and do we need to send Lester in with a cracked team, to bring home the Friel bacon.

Chinese media finger Swedish lesbian enclave

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World Wide Linked Secret Lesbian Sin Cities

The Irish Media are reporting a secret village in Kerry of Naked Lesbian Leprecauhns who it has emerged voted for the EU Lesbian Treaty.

UK media are reporting the uncovering of a Secret Lesbian City with Nordic Gender Police-womans near Newcastle but not as far south as Sunderland.

There are reports from the Oz media that no such Secret Cities exist near Sydney (Blue Mountains?) or even Perth (But they would say that the Chauvinistic Bastards)

Though a Secret Pert Naked Lesbian City would do no end of good to the turist trade.

As it seems to have done for the frozen wastes of Sweden:+]

For more on this breaking story just contact your local media mogul

Hotmail phish exposes most common passwords

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Star Trek Voyager Passwords

In Voyager there was never a problem with passwords so it must be a phase we are going through.

A spoken password "Janeway Alpha Omega 1642" seemed to do the trick. So Voice recognition control from the Clouds will be the answer.

So the Pleb equivalent will be. " 123456789 men and his dog went to mow a meadow"


New antimatter atomsmashers 'may destroy themselves'

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Mike Oldfield was on to something

Is " Life - The Universe and everything" matter- antimatter experiment really just another attemt to reisssue Tubular Bells

Should we book a table at the resturant at the end of the Universe or has the Simon Cowel/Philip Green Mafia - block booked the lot

Irate iPhone owner allegedly shows gun to Apple Store worker

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Adopt an Brutalised Orphan SmartPhone

Will it catch on? Will Madonna or Elton take the plunge and adopt a SmartPhone to protect them from RedNeck philastines. Go on Madge, make my day!

Cosmic rays hit Space Age high

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Mayan Mayhem Maybe

The End of the World will be marked at Sunday December 23, 2012

A day for your Google calendar methinks if the Mayans are correct and "The level of cosmic rays bombarding our solar system has hit a 50-year high" has that

"I warned you" feel about them

Worrying about Global warming, it looks like we will be all, toast on Dec 23 and we don't even get to open our Xmas prezzies - I was so looking forward to the inflatable Anti-Cosmic ray lifeboat with built in Hydrogen powered Nano-iPod - and of course the solar powered knitted Arran Sweaters from Granny


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