* Posts by Andy Bright

747 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Sep 2006

Guitar Hero III goes mobile

Andy Bright
Linux

Wot no air guitar?

Then what's the point? Surely the idea is to fantasize being a great guitar player, and without the minimum requirement of a tennis racket, 'plastic axe' or even thin air - how on earth can you act out your Angus fantasies?

Penguin, because while not being Linux, this game sounds at least as dull and pointless..

Craigslist and eBay: Terrorist arms bazaars of DEATH

Andy Bright
Pirate

In the US

you can arm yourself to the teeth at the local supermarket - no need to wait for stuff to be delivered from eBay or Craigslist.

How about a nice assault rifle.. princely sum of 200 quid. Hmm.. a nice shotgun and hand gun to go with that? Well by the time you've spent about 800 quid you'll be tooled up and ready to go, with several thousand rounds of ammo too.

Then it's a quick trip to the local sportsman's warehouse (wholesale megastores for guns, cammo gear and whatever else you can think of that would be useful for killing) and you'll be ready to wage war on whomever.

The crackerjack thing about all this? Due to the Republican / right wing / neo-con's extreme views on the only part of the US Constitution that matters (the bit about guns), although they often do a quick FBI background check (most terrorists aren't on the list, especially if they've just arrived), what they won't do is record the names and addresses of anyone that buys the guns. That would be an invasion of privacy and dangerously close to violating the right for everyone to have their own arsenal.

Assault rifles and shotguns don't have 24 hr cooldown periods btw... only hand guns. So you can walk out the store with your heavy equipment, but have to come back tomorrow for the pea shooter.

Fully automatic weapons were illegal for a while.. but that was deemed too dangerous to the rights of huntsmen and other legitimate users of weapons. After all, having a weapon that can't shoot accurately over 50 ft, but can spray bullets all over the place by the hundred in a few seconds is really useful for hunting.. or target shooting.. or reasonable self defense. Innocents whining about getting shot when a legitimate villain is running through them just don't understand that my right to shoot stuff trumps their right to go shopping.

Boffins chomp noggin-nobbling narcotics

Andy Bright
Thumb Up

Drug Driving

I have to agree with the guy that says provided reasonable information is out there regarding health risks, people should be allowed to do whatever they like to themselves.

As for drug driving, the solution imo is to make it legal between the hours of 3-4am but only on roads without corners, traffic lights, roundabouts, stop signs, give way signs - and with lanes 3 times the normal size. CCTV cameras should be positioned along the entire route and the best accidents shown on TV.

Landmine charity: Ban the killer robots before it's too late!

Andy Bright
Flame

@Jesus Puncher

Your arguments start of well-meaning, that is killing people is abhorrent - which no sane person could argue otherwise, but end in ridiculous conclusions.

No killing a person is not better or more morally correct when done by humans. Personally I would far prefer to be killed by machine rather than human - for a start it'll probably be done far more efficiently and therefore much less painfully. But in the end it's not really much consolation to the deceased love ones, knowing that some idiot with a twitchy trigger finger accidentally killed their father/son/husband as opposed to a programming error. In fact it wouldn't be any consolation knowing that the killing was in some small way justified, that if it hadn't been done their loved one would have murdered 1000s of innocents himself. I have personal experience of this. No my father would not have killed 1000s of innocents, but he was killed due to an error of judgment. Believe me, knowing that it was a human error doesn't make his death any more bearable. It might just as well have been some killer robot, and yes thinking about it like that makes me laugh too.

So basically shut the fuck up. The argument that machines that discriminate, regardless of the threat to themselves, is a good one. The idea that good decisions will always be made by people under threat or a variety of other emotional or stressful conditions is absurd. Humans are as prone to error as any machine - but at least the machine will only make the errors it has been told to make.

And if you really want to get philosophical about it, how about this? Machines, or the machines that make machines, are all human creations. Therefore ultimately a human was responsible for pulling the trigger. A human deployed the machine, a human programmed the machine and a human decided what conditions were correct for the machine to take life. The only thing the human didn't do is push the final button - but he might as well have done so, because in essence all he did was left it on an egg timer with a goto loop and an if/else subroutine.

Killing an innocent by pulling the trigger yourself or programming the trigger to fire after all the conditions you can think of have been met, tell me which is better.

The fact is they are identical. On the one hand the computer (brain) is calculating the conditions it's been programmed with (orders), and makes a decision on whether to kill. On the other, you've programmed your gun to fire when all the conditions (orders) have been met, only this time you won't mis-identify those conditions due to fear or poor eyesight, rather you'll do it by poor programming.

Shell starts clock ticking on unlucky 1% of staff

Andy Bright
Heart

They could really rub it in..

Will they be getting their notice by email or text message?

Comcast acquires BitTorrent for $53bn

Andy Bright
Happy

Credible

Well it was a credible joke, seeing as $53 billion is worth about tuppence.

DIY satellite TV installer shoots wife dead

Andy Bright
Happy

Houses in America

Are indeed largely made of wood, with plasterboard inside and wood paneling (or vinyl) called siding.

It's entirely possible for a .22 to penetrate this flimsy construction and still have enough oomph to kill a person. .22 Calibre weapons are not air rifles, and a .22 pistol is more than capable of completing the task of knocking a hole through a US home.

One caveat, older cities - and by that I mean those colonised and constructed by the British - have brick houses.

Surprisingly, even in places like Alaska, these wood homes are sufficiently insulated to stay warm enough for most people. My own home is 30 years old and at the cost of around 80 quid a month during 6 months of winter (at least 2 weeks per month the temperature drops below -20 C) it stays comfortably at around 68-70 degrees F.

Unsurprisingly they have a lot more problems with houses catching fire. And apparently with idiots shooting their wives through walls.

Smiley because the good part about this is that almost everyone in the US owns guns - which means the problem of there being a US population will eventually sort itself out.

Hutton: UK must become world No 1 in nuclear power

Andy Bright
Thumb Up

No problem

I bet I can find a buyer for the nuclear waste without much of an effort. Plenty of organisations out there that would be in the market for that sort of thing, even some governments. Syria and Iran for instance, now I bet they'll be only too happy to buy all the nuclear waste we want to sell them.

What? We had no problem selling better weapons than the British Army was equipped with to Iraq, not exactly entire years prior to the first Gulf War. Besides, if we sell these countries our nuclear waste, the Government will legitimately be able to say they pose a threat to national security and we'll finally have a use for all that fancy equipment at Heathrow.

First permitted in-flight mobile call made

Andy Bright

Not likely

My cricket bat says the person sitting next to me will seriously regret using their mobile phone if I'm asleep.

Thing is the dicks that can't shut up for five minutes already use their phones on planes regardless of whether it's allowed. And usually at the most dangerous points of any flight "Hello.. yeah we're taking off!" How vital that must be for the loved ones back home to know, almost as irrelevant as "Yeah.. we're landing on the runway right now.. it'll be another 30 minutes before I get off, and up to an hour before I get my bags, then go through customs and immigration. So yep, you're absolutely right, there was no point at all in me risking making this call right now - it could easily have waiting until I got to the terminal, or even when I was collecting my bags!"

And while admittedly the risk of the plane blowing up is pretty low just because someone used their phone - having the instrumentation going screwy while making a landing in zero visibility is generally the sort of thing I'd prefer to avoid.

"What? I've buggered up the ILS? I might be a bit late then, bit of a bumpy ride at the moment - was that one of our wheels I just saw fly past the window?!"

Again, small chance. However one thing I can absolutely guarantee has a massive chance of occuring - almost 100%. If you wake me up on a flight, shouting your personal life down a phone for the benefit of everyone sitting within 1/2 a mile of your obnoxious self - you'll personally find out whether cell phones double as anal sex toys.

Boffin seeks US Blu-ray, mobile phone import ban

Andy Bright

Why did she stop there?

Surely it would have been better to patent the use of electricity to power a device? Hopefully this gets chucked out. It's time someone actually proved they knew how to build what they were patenting, and that they intended to do so commercially.

All patents are a crock of shit anyway. No one seems to have to prove they've invented anything other than the ability to string some words together in a few sentences - and then draw a picture of something they saw on Star Trek.

We already have adequate protection of real intellectual property - it's called copyright. Copyright separates fact from fiction.

Anyone can say "I'm patenting an electrical thingy that makes musical noises and shows moving pictures" - then draws a picture of a box with a screen and an earphone socket.

Copyright on the other hand demands something a bit more concrete. You can copyright the circuit diagram of the insides of your iPod - which coincidentally shows your ability to produce the item you say you invented. Someone with a different design can copyright that, and we have two inventors with real products that compete fairly with each other. What we don't have is someone with no clue just making stuff up and expecting to get paid for it.

Patents serve no useful purpose whatsoever. And even if they did, personally I can live without the late-night infomercials trying to convince me to buy all kinds of useless tat. The world, I believe, would not stop turning if the inventor of crappy, plastic egg slicers or electro-magnetic dog brushes had to get a real job.

Boeing faces jumbo problem over US aerial raygun fleet

Andy Bright
Heart

noooo

It would not "be better to just forget about the stupid impractical laser" - people just don't understand, and refuse to think things through properly.

If we forget about the stupid impractical laser where is my X-Wing fighter going to come from? I was hugely disappointed not to get one last Christmas, what with the silly wrangling over money and all the nay-sayers pushing back this tremendously exciting idea.

And these kinds of subsidies are good for the environment I'll have you know, they're carbon neutral. The energy used to fire the laser is mitigated and turn humans into little piles of smoking ash, is mitigated by the lack of iPod charging that person will engage in for the next 20 years.

Teachers crucified by coughing pupils

Andy Bright

Bring back hanging!

That'll teach 'em. When I wur a lad we wur hanged two or three times a day - never did me no 'arm. And torture. Need more racks and twisty metal things stuck into kids.

The thing is discipline is lacking. And yes, to a large extent parents are to blame. We all knew one or two kids that were over-coddled and had parents that would never believe their darling little brats were responsible for anything - but these days it seems all parents are of this mind set.

I blame America. Why not? Everything else is their fault. But again, seriously, there does seem to be an adoption of the retarded "won't someone think of the kids" attitude.

And if copy catting US stupidity continues, this is what you have to look forward to.

My wife runs a daycare in the US. She is not allowed to let kids ride on small electronic toys - you know trains that run at a frightening 0.7 MPH and could result in a fall of up to 3 inches. She is also not allowed to use the word "punishment" - they re-direct kids these days. Sending someone to stand in the corner for thumping another kid is "cruel and unusual punishment".

Basically things are going to get a lot worse.

Of course the US answer is hard core, mind altering drugs.

As all kids are angels, and should never be punished - those that do wrong, i.e. rebel against the over-coddling, sugar sweet sickliness of condescending praise for being able to read and write a whole sentence at the age of 15 - sometimes using big words like "tree".. the kids that find Mathematics boring or like to give these perfect teachers a hard time.. they MUST be mentally ill or suffer from some sort of deficiency.

Can't be the lack of punishment and discipline. After all, good behaviour just happens naturally - we don't need to teach it early on.

So the answer to all that ails the teacher? Attention Deficit Disorder Drugs.

Of course it's well known through decades of extensive trials and case studies that delivering hardcore narcotics directly to the growing mind is far less damaging than and few swipes of the cane on the backside.

After all the drugs only do permanent damage, and probably inhibit all kinds of important growth. Where as being smacked would make them cry a bit.

Then again, if we don't hit our kids a bit, what excuse do they have when they shoot 20 people in a mall? "My parents were really, really mean!"..

What on earth do they blame their actions on, after all it must be someone's fault.. oh yeah.. "video games made me shoot everyone in my classroom"..

Kids brought up by technology not parents, quango claims

Andy Bright
Thumb Up

Generation WoW

My kids are brought up by World of Warcraft. As far as I'm concerned it teaches them everything they need to know in order to survive in todays brutal world.

For example, it teaches them team spirit, problem solving, decision making and most importantly, how not to draw aggro from the boss.

At my place of work, we generally greed everything (from the stationery cupboard), and only need if it's an upgrade (like getting an electronic stapler to replace the manual one).

These are the skills you MUST learn in life, or you'll end up spending your own money needlessly on scissors, tape and pens.

Caribbean firm circumvents BD+ copy protection

Andy Bright
Heart

Heh

I rarely backup my Blockbuster rentals these days, but I keep AnyDVD running for another reason.

It also prevents the spyware on commercial CDs from being installed. So for example when Sony released their latest rootkit, I was unaffected. I didn't of course know that until after the furor, but after finding out I decided it was an effective piece of anti-malware software and would remain on my PC for good.

Sony pledges Blu-ray Profile 2.0 PS3 update this month

Andy Bright
Alert

I'd use it..

This applies to turning the machine off and coming back to watch the movie a few days later (I suppose that could be a few months later, but most people would probably get irritated by that).. For example you turn off the player at night and resume watching the movie the following morning.

PS3s, like everything else, will already pickup where you left off as long as you don't turn it off. Even normal, everyday DVD players can do that.

However I certainly wouldn't criticize a product just because it couldn't do it. It's hardly a show stopper. Most people are competent enough to select a scene and continue from there.

I like the mosquito noise thing, I just wished it really applied to mosquito noise. I'm already impressed by the PS3's DVD upconverting, far superior to my DVD player that also has that feature. If you didn't notice any difference when they implemented that a few patches back, chances are your TV was doing it for you already. Some do, and probably make a better job of it too. That was a bit of a poor decision when they originally released the PS3, after all the technology has been around for years and the "other" console could do it. You know, the noisy one that flashes it's lights at you every six months.

The other thing - online adverts, sorry I mean links - no thanks. Yes what we need is a facility for click-ads in our movies, with handy links to movie merchandise or websites advertising sponsorship tat. Why not go the whole hog and just run banner ads through the whole movie?

UK postal vote system 'not fit for purpose'

Andy Bright
Pirate

No way!

We have a democratic process? When did that happen? I thought we just had this one guy that pretty much decided to do whatever he felt like.. what's he called again? Oh yeah, Prime Minister.

Real democracies don't give one person the power to dictate what passes into law and what doesn't. Oh sure, he needs to convince his cabinet to do what he tells them to, and it's vaguely possible that MPs could vote against what he tells them to vote for.. but reality is no one that wants to move up the political ladder will do any such thing. So what we're left with is a dictatorship, albeit one that we sort of vote for - well if you're the member of a political party that wins the general election you got to vote for your party leader. Which sort of means someone, somewhere, voted for the Prime Minister. Just not in a public election.

Still it could be worse. We could have the US system of voting for people who know better than us who should run our country. Oh wait, we do that already too.

You know the funny thing is they want our system of parliament and the just about never used option of a "Vote of no confidence", saying how much better this is. If they found out that Prime Ministerial positions would be the equivalent of giving the President pretty much 100% control over the law of the land, do you think they'd still be asking for it?

Caution - FBI fit-ups of Muslim patsies in progress

Andy Bright
Flame

re "<Yawn>"

Alternatively take a quick walk through history and see if you can find out what happened to an extremely large number of US citizens who were unfortunate enough to have Japanese parents during WWII.

The US (and the UK for that matter) has a long and exemplary history of locking up or killing completely innocent people in the name of national security.

Witch hunts are certainly nothing new, as a number of people living through the Nixon era can probably confirm.

The fact is we're "at war" with a few louts from Afghanistan and Pakistan. Astonishingly we continue to hand the ill-equipped yobbos victory after victory. Apparently they hate us for our freedom. So to combat this, we'll attempt to appease them by removing those freedoms and shitting on the Constitution. Every time an innocent person is put away, another freedom is removed or another warrantless wiretap approved we give "the terrorists" another victory.

You see that's the whole point of terrorism. The idea is to create fear, suspicion and injustice. The idea is to have everyone so paranoid they start giving handing over their freedoms in the cowardly hope that they'll be safe from imaginary threats.

Now one thing has had me puzzled for about 3 years or so. Apparently we're fighting them "over there" so we don't have to fight them "over here". If that's the case, and for the moment we shall ignore the fact "over there" happens to be the wrong country, how come the need to persecute and spy on US citizens and innocent legal immigrants? Why do we need to expand FISA to wiretap without warrants even more people from this country and allow corporates that blatantly broke the law to get away with it?

It's a crock of shit. All these laws are created to hand crony-run businesses huge government contracts, and to help give the more paranoid as false sense of security.

Dick Cheney firmly believes there are Hezbollah cells operating in the US, waiting for Iranians to mail them nuclear weapons. He's fucking nuts, and unfortunately in complete control of a moron we call President.

So instead of criticizing a legitimate attempt to bring gross injustice to light, why not ask your own paid-and-bought-by-lobbyist politicians what the fuck they're thinking. Last I heard, being foreign, unpopular and poor were not crimes and did not warrant entrapment by the FBI.

Andy Bright
Alert

Good work

It's great that someone is taking a seriously look at this sort of thing, and of course I have nothing but praise for The Register in publishing this story.

However the problem is this is a UK tech news website. That's not a criticism, rather I'm pointing out the unfortunate obvious, i.e. no one in the US that can bring this to the attention of the general public will see it.

Again, not a criticism. The Register is doing its part by bringing this sort of thing to the attention of the world, I just think it would be great if a major news organisation in the US itself would pick up this story.

Because besides the necessity to get innocent people released from jail, it's incredibly important that future juries give short thrift to wild claims and unsubstantiated accusations.

It's important that the people who's job it is to investigate terrorism are aware that they themselves are being watched, and that they understand bringing patsies to trial will likely end in embarrassment.

Unfortunately over the last decade the US press corp has pretty much lost its backbone. They appear willing to accept anything they're told, and even if someone does have the guts to challenge a statement, will back down immediately when given the scripted response.

Part of what makes the press important is their willingness to challenge authority. We need more of it, and pretty damn soon if something is to be done.

We just need to sow a seed of doubt. It doesn't matter if the stories are dismissed out of hand by those who can't believe their heroes in the White House would perpetrate such crimes. People are funny this way. They may fervently deny and be ludicrously loyal, but if you plant that doubt in their minds it will have an effect when needed.

Schools warned of chilling 'Strawberry Meth' menace

Andy Bright
Heart

Is this an opportunity in disguise?

Has anyone considered pushing out recreational drugs as sweets? Alcopops have nothing on this idea, and the great thing about meth is customer loyalty to your brand is pretty much guaranteed after the first couple goes.

And before anyone gets all whiny and PC on me, I'm only thinking of the children. Instead of warping their brains with ADHD drugs, why not give them Strawberry Meth, Sherbert Coke and wash it all down with lashings of Ginger Heroine.

Dungeons and Dragons co-creator Gary Gygax dies

Andy Bright
Thumb Up

Dungeon Master

"Gygax also published dozens of fantasy books and short stories, including the Greyhawk series and Gord the Rogue adventures."

Unfortunately this is true. It's a shame really, because his original ideas for D&D and AD&D were not only great for the pen and paper version of the game, but lent themselves perfectly to computer role playing games.

The Greyhawk series of scenarios for AD&D where particular favourites of mine - especially the City of Greyhawk set. Which is why I find it so unfortunate that he decided to tarnish this series with what I shall generously call books.

Never mind, the original work was superb, and in honour of his memory I shall do my best to blot out the decision to pick up one of his books and actually read it. Sort of like a terrible road accident, you know it's going to be bad but sometimes you just can't help but look.

Yahoo! unveils third leg for managing mobile content

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

Agreed

I demand..

Yahoo! Unveils! Third! Leg! For! Managing! Mobile! Content!

Windows Vista Ultimate SP1 delayed

Andy Bright
Happy

Yeah a real OS

Like Windows 'X' P? Sorry couldn't resist.

Andy Bright
Happy

Oh noes..

I'm truly decimated by this (1/10th of my personal Roman Legion that refused to obey an order and/or rebelled against the command structure, drew losing lots and were crucified).

iPhone may sidestep rubbish caller ID suit

Andy Bright
Heart

I have a CISCO IP phone that's shit too..

If I get a call from a number outside of the building, it might match it with a directory entry, but it sure as shit can't dial it back. Because it isn't intelligent enough to understand I need to dial 9 for an outside call - and add a 1 to the number if I want to dial out of state.

If I create an entry in my directory that incorporates these requirements - the incoming number won't match.

Even the crappiest mobile phone can understand that you don't need to dial the area code to make a local call. But my super, advanced, digital, VOIP shite doesn't know that either.

Shit even telephone exchanges in the US can't differentiate between a local and long distance phone call. You have to add the '1' to out of state phone calls because they were too stupid to understand the problems of not preceeding every std code with a 0. Therefore if your exchange is so stupid it can't differentiate between a 7 and 10 digit phone number, it can't work out when the difference between a local number and long distance number that starts with the same 3 digits. Unless you add a '1'.

Therefore no one in the US can hit re-dial on freefone numbers or out of state calls.

Obviously things improve with time. Except the 5 lines of code it would take to enable a person to hit redial on every incoming call are too much for a company like Nortel, Cisco or Siemens to manage.

Let me see, if the number is 10 digits it's not a local call. If the number doesn't start with you own state dialing code, say 907, then it's either an out of state or freefone call. To connect the call the difference between an out of state or freefone number is irrelevant.

So my guess in psuedo code would be.

If number=10 then notlocal(number).

notlocal(number)

if number(3) is not equal to local_area_code then long_distance(number).

long_distance(number)

add a fucking 1 to the front of the phone call.

Sony exec confirms arrival of in-game PS3 messaging

Andy Bright

PS3 catching up with XBox 360?

Where's my flashing lights? I demand my PS3 bricks every 6 months!

Microsoft officially 425 years behind the times

Andy Bright
Happy

More likely they'll ask for more leap years

And then tell us if we buy Microsoft, they will give us more time, by literally giving us more time.

Interesting, don't you think, that no one in your accounts department has noticed the extra day's work you'll be doing for the exact same money this year.

Tell me again why a little thing like snow in August would be a deterrent to suddenly finding out our calendar needs 50 or 60 leap days added to it..

Microsoft cuts Vista price

Andy Bright
Stop

I don't care if you like Windows, hate it, whatever

If you are considering buying Vista, don't. It offers nothing apart from resource hogging, flashy graphics and drm that's too easily triggered and again, cripples performance.

To me this is like the Windows ME release. In other words a complete fuck up.

So like I said, doesn't matter if you're a M$ fan or not, just don't do it to yourself, don't fall for the bright shiny objects - wait for the next version.

Don't waste my time talking about Apple's OS or Linux, your arguments about whether they're better operating systems or not are redundant. Of course they are. But that's irrelevant to someone who doesn't want to, or can't use them. I know what's wrong with Windows, I know what's right with the others. So don't waste your time telling me.

I'm talking purely in terms of Windows and to those that either have to, or want to use it. History has shown that Microsoft release a completely fucked up operating system between what I shall call their better versions. Windows Vista is one of the fucked up versions, and if you have any sense whatsoever you'll wait for whatever they release. When they fuck up on the scale that they have with Vista, the next version usually comes along pretty smartish. I reckon next year, or by 2010 at the latest.

NASA reveals Moon's rugged south pole

Andy Bright
Heart

When will the advertising on the moon's surface start?

I've been waiting to see insurance or pharmaceutical corporate logos rising romantically of an eve.

And even if projecting onto the moon's surface isn't feasible, I was told we could expect some sort of low-orbiting satellite thingy that could present an image in the sky roughly the size of the moon.

Ahh the sweet smell of money, nothing warms the heart more than seeing everything exploited for the benefit of our underpaid CEOs.

'Googirl' unloads on Google Health

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

err what?

"Due to the sensitive and personal nature of the data that will be stored in Google Health, we need to conduct our health service with the same privacy, security, and integrity users have come to expect in all our services,"

Ok I've finished ROFLMAO. Even if I did believe for one minute that this data wouldn't be sold to health insurance corporates, if you think I trust Google, or indeed any search engine conglomerate, with any data you have a fucking screw loose.

US gov now says Eye-o-Sauron™ border masts are crap

Andy Bright
Happy

It won't work

For the exact same reason Eye of Sauron 1.0 failed. They have no Saurons or even Nazgul to operate them.

The answer is not to make new towers, the existing towers are just fine. The answer to to contact your local branch of Noldor and ask them make you some rings. After they make themselves 3, probably 7 for union leaders (got to keep the unions happy) and maybe 9 for various Governors of our border states, the President and his administration should make themselves 1, let's call it a master ring, one that controls all the others.

You then install a ring-controlled State Governor in each of the towers, and maybe some sort of video link connecting them all, seeing stone, whatever.

And there you go, fully operational Towers of Sauron.

HMV blames rival for PS3 PlayTV pre-order puzzle

Andy Bright

DVD recorders are total shite

DVD recorders have shit resolution, shit sound and shit capacity. The quality of recording is no better than a decent VCR. Even if you're lucky enough to find one that will record via component cables, none of them offers a resolution higher than standard definition - 480i. Don't even get me started on their inflexibility and the compatibility issues of the disks you make.

DVR technology is superior to DVD recorders in just about every way conceivable. Resolutions and capacity are upgradeable and they're incredibly easy to use. Features such as being able to pause live TV or record two or three channels at the same time, at HD resolutions, go so far beyond what a DVD recorder is capable of they just aren't in the same league.

Not only that, but the recordings are more easily edited and can often be transferred to any media you choose - including DVD, only this time at resolutions that make sense.

99 quid is an incredible price for a DVR, and just makes the PS3 even more desirable.

Plays HD games, plays HD movies in a format that isn't dead, internet connectivity, HD optical sound and soon a DVR tuner. Downloadable HD movies would be the next logical step, and using HDs as storage, finally offers a capacity that makes sense.

Boffin: Coconut jumbo is millstone in disguise

Andy Bright
Go

OIL

After considerable research I discovered Crude Oil to be the ultimate carbon neutral bio-fuel.

You see it works like this. First you call dibs on a rain forest. Now rain forests chew up greenhouse gases like you wouldn't believe, so you're really on to a winner if you get one of your own.

Next, and this is the beauty of my plan, you decide not to chop it down. No instead what you do is dig up some sort of desert or frozen tundra and harvest a bunch of black gooey stuff which, incredible as this may sound, works really good at powering vehicles.

Ta da. Carbon neutral and you didn't have to chop down a single tree to achieve it.

Paper clip attack skewers Chip and PIN

Andy Bright
Pirate

Yet another ""...not currently economically viable for a fraudster to carry out"

I suppose it's possible the cost of paper clips and needles has skyrocketed since I last checked, but I submit that normally such things are within the financial reach of all but the most financially challenged citizen. In which case a quick wander through just about anywhere that uses office supplies and a gander through your mum's sewing kit would yield the necessary tools for free.

Minister defends National ID Register security

Andy Bright
Black Helicopters

I don't mind

As long as I get to be one of the less than 100 people. In fact as long as each and every MP is willing to give me all their personal information to store on my own computer - which I promise to patch bi-annually, then I don't even have to be one of the less than 100 people.

If they've got nothing to hide, then they'll have nothing to fear in giving me all their data.

Bitlocker hack is easily prevented, Microsoft says

Andy Bright
Heart

Full of flaws..

Sorry but I know a far easier method of cracking files protected by any encryption software that relies on a key entered by a user.

In fact I know two.

The easiest one is to read the password directly from the Postit pad the user wrote it on.

The second method is to continually beat the crap out of the user until he enters the key for you.

I submit these are easier and far more practical methods of de-encryption than the one put forth in the article.

AI prof: The robot terrorists are coming! Aiee!

Andy Bright
Pirate

Anthrax Roomba

Fill a Roomba up with Anthrax and set it loose with instructions to blow instead of suck. I rest my case yer honour.

Judge accuses hacks of hacking cannibal ruling

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

An Imperial Shedload..

is 1.2 metric shedloads. I though everyone knew this.

Judges and the interweb, who'd 'ave thought that something could go wrong with that eh? Funny thing is no one is examining why she would consider it acceptable to email her rulings to her home computer.

So besides a number privacy laws, chances are she broke an imperial shedload of data retention laws too. Remember how Microsoft got themselves into so much trouble with the emails they forgot to delete? Well States and local governments took notice of this, and many decided to create laws and policies that limit the period of time electronic documents, especially email, should be kept. Therefore sending confidential emails outside of the system that safely deletes, erm I mean archives, such data? Well that's a big no no. Whether you wrote the confidential data yourself is not really relevant..

You see what you have is a judge that sent confidential data to her own, unsecured computer, and then has the stupidity to admit this in public. The brilliant part is what happened next is the exact reason you aren't allowed to do such things. And then she admitted it was her own fault. In public. Doesn't seem to be too much else for the eventual prosecutor to do does there?

Knows she shouldn't send confidential data to a personal, unsecured computer. Check.

Knows the reasons why you shouldn't do such things. Check.

Knows the consequences of her actions were the exact reasons listed above. Check.

Finishes by not only publicly confessing she did it, but that she knows why she shouldn't have done it and that she knows it's her own fault confidential data made it into the public domain. Check.

Now explain to me what usually happens next if you're not a judge..

NB

Yes I do know that sending this information home via email was probably not how it ended up in the public domain. If anything this only makes it even funnier. Her public declaration that it was her fault makes using that as a defense for her actions impossible.

Sarko verbal spat proves YouTube hit

Andy Bright
Happy

I don't understand what he did wrong.

In fact I say he didn't go far enough, he should have simply told the stroppy constituent where to go.

I'd have far more respect for politicians if they spoke their minds and told people to "fuck off" more often. Lets face it the House of Commons deals out more personal insults than "get lost" on a daily basis.

So what I would love to see is a politician with the balls to stand up to a certain Prime Minister or President. It's all well enough telling some malcontent voter to get lost, but when is someone finally going to say,

"With all due respect Mr President, you're a fucking liar".

Saying "with all due respect" means you can append that sentence with anything you like. And any politician with the front to call either premier a fucking liar is certain of re-election, the key is to remain unapologetic after doing so. No matter what. The public will support you I absolutely guarantee it, they're dying for someone to actually say what everyone is thinking.

NB

This is not a partisan comment, I hold all politicians in equal contempt, because every one of them is equally responsible for laws like the Patriot Act and the DCMA. To quote Lewis Black: "The only thing worse than a Democrat or a Republican is when these pricks work together".

Subprime PC retailer coughs up $5m fine

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

Erm that's exactly how they operate, they don't give credit.

Yes they do misrepresent themselves in TV commercials as offering credit to those with, erm, a blemished credit history.

However the way it works is you send them money until you've paid for the item, then they send you the item. After you receive whatever it was you paid for, you then pay for it again several times over. This gives the illusion of pre-payment and credit.

The problem is that most people with shit credit don't finish paying for the item they want, in much the same way they miss payments on real credit such as loans.

So if they fail to pre-purchase whatever it is they're buying, they end up with nothing. Now you have a problem, because the money they've already sent is not returned, at least not immediately and not without penalty.

The basic concept behind this isn't that bad, an acceptable version is called Layaway in the US. The way that works is you pick the item you want in the store, and they hold it for you for an agreed period of time. You make your payments, and if you manage to reach the purchase price prior to the time limit (usually about 3 months) you get to keep it. If you fail to make the payments in time, you get your money back. You can cancel the layaway at any time, and most businesses that still offer this service don't penalize you in any way.

Unfortunately that isn't particularly profitable. Often expensive and highly desirable items that would have sold earlier are left in storage and are never paid for. Sure they get returned to the shop floor eventually, but prices change and often businesses end up losing money if they offer this service. Which is why most no longer do.

However what Blue Hippo does is take this one step further. They worked out that by making the customer pay several times the normal value of the item, this can be profitable. Especially if most of the people they deal with have a bad history of making credit payments.

Airline pilot sacked for 777 Top Gun stunt

Andy Bright

LMAO or something

28-30 ft? Fuck me that's low. That's less than a slight nudge and you're plowing the runway low.

So fucking yeah, nice one. If I was a cowboy pilot with huge fucking balls, and no sense of reality I'd do it too. Especially if I had the boss on board.

But was there really a risk of re-decorating the runway with burning 777 accents, and fashionable human body parts? Depends how he did it.

Even 25 years ago you could program a plane to follow the terrain at whatever height you desired. Unfortunate plane-meeting-ground incidents were extremely rare, even in Iraq. Shit you could almost point-and-click a Tornado onto the runway.

These days you could probably program a 777 to fly 10 feet off the ground at 500mph and feel safe as houses. So I reckon that unless he was actually doing this on "manual", he probably didn't put any lives in any sort of danger whatsoever - hence the tower's permission for him to go ahead.

On the other hand if he was flying under his own steam, that was fucking stupid.

Wikileaks judge gets Pirate Bay treatment

Andy Bright
Go

Interesting

Well nearly. What's interesting is the doomed-to-failure order that has correctly been identified as unconstitutional on several counts. But the information being leaked, dull as dishwater. What? You mean there's a bank in the Cayman Islands that does dodgy things with money? My GOD!! yawn.

Now if they had documents proving the existence of alien invaders in the administration, who were about to force the President to go to war with Canada, then we'd have some fun news. Or if they had the plans for a working X-Wing fighter and published those, then we'd have some intellectual property to get excited about.

As to whether the defendant has to listen to anything a judge in California says, well that depends on where that defendant lives. Certainly the hosting company is outside of the judge's jurisdiction - at the moment. But as one person has correctly pointed out, this is a process. You have to steadily work your way through the court system until you reach somewhere that has the required jurisdiction and authority.

Chances are that most of this will come to nothing though. No dashing across borders, no rendition of Swedish nationals to prisons in Iran to discover who they're protecting in the US.

No, my guess is if there is even the slightest hint of truth to these documents, the US government will want to have nothing to do with it at all. No one will touch protecting a bank that may launder drug money in the year of a Presidential election. Even if they know the documents are all bullshit, they still won't want to touch this. A little thing like the truth has never stopped the media, or a political party looking to score points with the public, from smearing someone.

Oz admits $85m p0rn filtering FAIL

Andy Bright
Happy

I have an idea that won't work too

Why not just switch off the internet til all the kiddies have gone to bed? Just hook up Australia's internet to a powerstrip, you can usually get away with plugging as many things as you like to the same one.

Then turn it on at about 6.30 - 7.00 in the evening. Now I know what you're going to say, but you have to be realistic. While most kids should be in bed by 6pm, some teenagers have been known to stay up as late as 7pm. Irresponsible of their parents I know, but you have to be sure you don't turn it on too early.

Oh yeah, make sure everyone knows that the last person up needs to remember to turn it off before they go to bed.

Unseen 'Marilyn Monroe' nude snap wows US expert

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

I have to agree

That photo has absolutely no resemblance to Marylin Monroe. Not even close. He's more or less proved his 'expertise' is a complete load of shite. The only way he could have confused this as a photo of Monroe would be if he'd never actually seen a real one.

Literally anyone, anyone at all, could take one look at that photo and determine it wasn't Marylin Monroe. Wrong face, wrong body, wrong everything - there isn't even a vague resemblance.

It always amazes me that no one checks whether these so-called experts have any knowledge to backup their grandiose claims. Obviously he's never actually seen a Monroe movie or photo, because the only other explanations are retardation or he's blind.

Official: Toshiba discontinues HD DVD

Andy Bright

Hilarious

It's a bloody optical disk and people are actually upset about it going away? Here's a heads up for you, both formats are complete shite.

I have Blu-ray and I've watched HD-DVD. Not a fucking difference between the two. Both are severely limited in capacity and suffer from the whim of mastering, which means the quality varies depending on the competence of those creating the original copy.

As for crying for Toshiba and hounding Sony? Are you fucking mad? They're both huge conglomerates from the same country, and the difference between them is one makes a few consoles.

The only reason that people got caught up in hissy fits over a new generation of optical media having two formats is because they have movies on them.

This was almost as sad and redundant as the anally retentive fights over whether +r/rw dvds are better than -r/rw dvds.

Oh and who can forget the long hours campaigning on behalf of CD+R and CD-R, and who can forget how vital it was in the eventual overwhelming success of Video CD that one format came out on top...

My god, I've even seen some moron writing about the "people's format". Fuck off, there is no "people's format", there's only fat fucking CEO's format. And while we're limiting ourselves to something as crappy as optical media to watch movies, who gives a fuck whether one or even both disappears.

Bush orders US Navy to shoot down rogue spy sat

Andy Bright
Flame

People worry too much..

If you're that concerned about them missing, just send up a shuttle filled with British and Canadian soldiers and park it next to the spy sat.

I know what you're thinking but it won't work.

Simply placing the satellite between the shuttle and whatever loose cannon they put in a plane to destroy it, will do nothing to prevent the destruction of the shuttle itself.

I'm afraid American's having an unerring accuracy when it comes to killing their allies.

I would be more concerned about whether the exploding shuttle would be enough to get the job done. Perhaps they should pack a couple of decent sized bombs in the cargo hold just to be on the safe side.

US woman orders $150k cloned pitbull terrier

Andy Bright
Thumb Up

Wahooo!!!

Genetically engineered glow-in-the-dark pigs + dog cloning = glow-in-the-dark dog.

Glow-in-the-dark dog + combining the DNA of animals and humans = talking glow-in-the-dark dog.

You can stuff your stem cell research to find cures for cancer, aids and passionate conservatism where the sun most definitely doesn't shine. This is ground breaking science of the future, surely meriting the Nobel Fucking Awesome Prize (official title).

I see a talking-glow-in-the-dark dog arriving in time for Christmas. But why stop there? The pigs were universally green in colour, and while amusing, one colour can only stimulate the entertainment senses for so long. So why not go the keyboard route and give us a switch to choose 3 or 4 different colours as well as a colour cycle option. If we can do it with christmas lights and keyboards, surely this will represent only a small challenge to our top-notch geneticists.

Now what do I teach my dog to say first?

PS3 won't beat Wii until 2011, forecasts analyst

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

I have all 3

And I don't believe it's possible to generate a graph that predicts the sales of any product beyond 6 months.

Too many things can and will change. The recession the US is enjoying will steadily get worse as investors realise we're only on the tip of the housing/foreclosure meltdown. The most ridiculous loans, given with the most lax underwriting standards ever, are not due to reset to higher interest rates for at least another year.

In the US they intend to send everyone that pays some sort of income tax a $300-$1200 check to stimulate the economy. The people that actually need the money will be getting the smallest amounts, probably around $600 per household, and all that will do is remind them how badly off they are. If someone thinks they're going to use those checks to pay anything other than utility bills or their mortgage/rent, they're living in a fantasy world.

So anything that predicts the sale of luxury items beyond this summer is garbage. Consoles are bought by two groups. The 21-35 yr olds that grew up with gaming, and parents. Parents that lose their jobs will cut consoles off their shopping lists immediately. My guess is that would be at least 1/2 the market gone.

And if the banks go into meltdown in the US, because people will walk from homes rather than waste time trying to sell at a price that won't even pay back the mortgage - then any country that has strong financial links with the US (pretty much anywhere with money) will also see their economies go downhill fast.

By the time 2011 comes, people will be cheering the end of the worst recession in history, and maybe that will be the time they go out to buy consoles to celebrate. I doubt it though, they're more likely to want to get in on a foreclosed-property fire sale.

SCO bags $100m to fight another day

Andy Bright
Pirate

Middle East?

Presumably by "Middle East'" you mean Redmond, Washington and by "Stephen Norris & Co. Capital Partners" you mean a large software company that resides there. ;)

Human rights group pleads for condemned Saudi 'witch'

Andy Bright
Thumb Down

The Saudis already have the GW clan in their pockets

So I fail to see the need to kill 'witches'. Yes it'll probably please the wingnuts that run our country, after all they've been searching for reasons to push revisionist Christianity (money is good, killing is good, discrimination is good, etc) down our throats - and a decent witch burning is just the thing to help them promote their 'war on terror', or whatever they call it now.

Shame of it is the Saudis preferred method of witch termination is probably a beheading.

Seriously though, how can we condone trading with and supporting a country that commits such human rights violations, and then criticise Iran or China with a straight face?

Google beats bugs from Android

Andy Bright
Linux

Android?

I prefer the black one with the Motorola logo, but it's nice to know they're letting Google re-brand them.