* Posts by .stu

100 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Sep 2009


IT blamed after HR forgets to install sockets in new office


Re: Watch Your Backs

"Short people can be very dangerous and we should always watch out backs for those willing to lie for a living. The current poster boy for this being our favourite Russian dictator."

There, FTFY ;)

Google to wind down pandemic work-from-home


Re: What I learned from the Pandemic

I'm sure they are all very concerned about the provenance of the food they eat too.

A tale of two dishwashers: Buy one, buy it again, and again


Re: Internal advert filters

You just reminded me of the guy on the Apprentice UK recently. They had a focus group for their kids toothbrush which consisted of 1 boy and 4 girls. When asked who liked it, only the boy put his hand up. Nick then presented this to the other contestants as 100% of the boys liked it. That then became "50% of their demographic", then eventually 100% of their demographic somehow.

Lying bastard.

Google's Chrome OS Flex could revive old PCs, Macs


Once bitten, twice shy

I bought a Samsung Chromebook a few years ago that I use occasionally. Fired it up last year to find it was EOL. On the other hand I have a 17 year old windows laptop still going strong on windows 10.

When I have time I might put Linux on the Chromebook, but I have no intention of ever buying another one it's just not worth it.

UK regulator 'broke international law', says Facebook


$400 million for some software that makes GIFs???

Beware the big bang in the network room


I was expecting more sparks from the title :(

Make assistive driving safe: Eliminate pedestrians


My first thought when I read the article about Teslas not stopping at STOP signs was that they would also do 36 in 30 zone.

Version 2.0 will add the ability to tailgate anyone driving within the speed limit and flash the heaflights.

Saved by the Bill: What if... Microsoft had killed Windows 95?


Re: Windows 95 was more masterful marketing

Except there would be no Apple without Microsoft, tho I imagine that would just mean we had nextPhone's instead.

Tesla Full Self-Driving videos prompt California's DMV to rethink policy on accidents


Re: And they always pretend to be surprised

I've seen a house fly.


Re: Clippy

It depends on the context. If you are writing new code from scratch then it generally works OK, however if you are modifying existiing code it can be bloody annoying.

Worst of CES Awards: The least private, least secure, least repairable, and least sustainable


Re: Anyone got a credible link to the current math on bitcoin or ether block energy consumption?

Maybe I'm stupid but I can't see any reason why that page needs to be encrypted.

All your database are belong to us: Snowflake named DBMS of the year by DB-Engines



I will win next year by naming my database COVID. The online mentions will be through the roof

Ceefax replica goes TITSUP* as folk pine for simpler times


The Oracle was on ITV and Channel 4! I know this because I will never forget Central Jobfinder at 4 o'clock in the morning with the funky music :D

Time to party like it's 2002: Acura and Honda car clocks knocked back 20 years by bug


I remember in a previous role one day all the touchscreens on our customers' machines failed. After a bit of decompiling I found that the mouse driver scanned through the BIOS looking for a specific pattern of byte values, which it then used as an offset to read the serial port settings. Of course on that particular day the date matched the pattern, and just happened to be located a few bytes before the pattern the driver was looking for. We told the customers that we would push out a fix overnight, although we might have omitted to tell them it would happen again in 20-odd years...

You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?


Re: Minitel

Try this: https://f-droid.org/en/packages/com.dozingcatsoftware.vectorcamera/

Zuck didn't invent the metaverse, but he's started a fight to control it


I think Jeff Bezo's got that covered.

Google's Pixel 6 fingerprint reader is rubbish because of 'enhanced security algorithms'


But that only works if you have a basic face.

Calendars have gone backwards since the Bronze Age. It's time to evolve


Re: I even encounter madness with just one calendar

Last week I got a notification from Outlook for a meeting that I apparently missed on 15th April 2020, only 81 weeks overdue! Pretty sure I was there tho :)

Reg reader returns Samsung TV after finding giant ads splattered everywhere


Better check you haven't got s Samsung-branded tinfoil hat too

Apple: Don't close MacBooks with a webcam cover on, you might damage the display


Re: 0.1mm

If your ancestor was a tin captain, did that mean all the miners were tin soldiers?


Close but no iCigar!

I think you'll find it's Apple iBalaclava and Apple iTurtleneck.

Huawei's P40 and P40 Pro handsets will not ship with Google Mobile Services, Richard Yu confirms


Re: Maybe not such a bad thing


Hate speech row: Fine or jail anyone who calls people boffins, geeks or eggheads, psychology nerd demands


Being a boffin is like being cool; if you think you are then you aren't.


Re: Utter boffin

Anyone who needs a troll icon for their crap jokes deserves everything that's coming to them. Oh shit that's me :(


Re: Utter boffin

Anyone who wears 2 pairs of glasses deserves everything that's coming to them.


Re: Humble brag

No, I think you misheard me. I said you ARE a massive cock.

We are shocked to learn oppressive authoritarian surveillance state China injects spyware into foreigners' smartphones


You've been watching too many spy movies.


Or just don't walk about at night/downtown/in a favela waving a £1000 phone about. I've been going to Brazil regularly for the last 20 years and I can tell you you just need to use your common sense.

‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’


Re: Work ethic (in NL)

Haha good one!

I worked in the Netherlands for a while and I know for sure that the Dutch don't care how effective they are, as long as there are some British guys around to get the work done while they have a nice chat.

B-Ark passengers to control most IT spend from 2019 onwards


Given the unstoppable rise of the mobile phone, telephone cleaners may be about to make a comeback.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a terrible leak of drone buyers' data


Re: Damn it!

Please tell me this is not an euphemism! :(

Magic Leap ships headsets at last, but you'll need a safe


Re: Actually, it seems they ARE onto something...

Where did the "very simple rules" come from?

Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam


Re: Also offer free software that never appears

I think you have to go and download it yourself. I got mine no problems.

Maplin shutdown sale prices still HIGHER than rivals


Re: Paying over the odds for less protection than normal...

I too liked Maplin, and would regularly buy from them at bargain prices compared to Currys and Amazon. Things such as Philips Hue bulbs, SmartThings devices, wifi access points and the like. Amazon regularly price-matched them, which the will no longer need to do.

I know it's fashionable now to slag off Maplin, and yes some of their prices were ludicrous, but they were no more guilty of it than any other retailer, and there were plenty of bargains to be had if you did your homework. It saddens me that even el reg has nothing better to offer than write articles like this; it's just lazy journalism to be honest and wouldn't be out of place in the likes of the Daily Mail.

Just wait until Amazon have a stranglehold on online retailing, then you will see their real face I do not trust them one bit with their prime-only deals, and their policy of banning you and your family for life if you take advantage of your legal rights under the distance-selling regulations once too often.

Credit insurance tightens for geek shack Maplin Electronics


From my experience they sell quite a lot of items at better prices than Amazon or Currys, and they pay decent cashback rates and give out plenty of decent vouchers. I will miss them if they go, and so will everyone else here. Less choice = higher prices.

( ...and don't get me started on ebay tat... I remember laughing at my colleague who insisted £1 ebay hdmi cables were as good as any other because "they're all just digital connections". He ended up buying a mid-priced one like the rest of us )

Ex-SpaceX avionics tech loses safety certificate-forging wrongful dismissal lawsuit


Re: With friends like this ...

Perhaps he isn't as paranoid as they say?

Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died


If there were empty seats in coach H, why then did Virgin staff need to move another family to First Class in order to make room for him?

iPhone 'Error 53' plaintiffs say Apple not giving reimbursements


Re: With apologies to DA

“You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young."

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know, I didn't listen.”

Back on topic, I imagine it was just some poor software engineer who decided on an over-simplistic solution that if you couldn't communicate with the secure element then the phone was compromised and should not boot, not thinking that there might be legitimate reasons for the fault and a more complex solution was required. Why does it have to be anything more sinister than that?

Apple's iPad Pro: We're making a Surface Pro WITH A STYLUS over Steve Jobs' DEAD BODY


" Apple Pencil, a Lightning-powered stylus"

Can't wait to see the press report of some stupid-assed fanboi who got fried while trying to recharge their Apple Pencil by holding it aloft in a thunderstorm.

High-heeled hacker builds pen-test kit into her skyscraper shoes


Just looked at her imgur profile, and I sure am glad I did that at work and not at home with the missus sat beside me on the sofa!

Carphone Warehouse coughs to MONSTER data breach – 2.4 MEELLION Brits at risk


Re: Inadequate security measures = BREAKING THE LAW

The improved security consists of taking the customer login portal offline.



Re: As Lady Bracknell never quite said...

Or as George Dubya might say...

"Nuke me once, shame on you. Nuke me - you can't get nuked again".

'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely


It doesn't automatically detect the language tho does it? At least mine doesn't. You have to select which 2 languages are being spoken.

And the instant camera translation thing requires you to snap a picture and then highlight the bit you want translated. From the description it sounded like augmented reality but it isn't.

OnePlus vs Micromax: Dream of Google-less Android now further away


OnePlus have already announced that they are developing their own rom and will ditch cyanogen once it is ready.

'Google catches us in an invisible web of our personal data without telling us'


Dunno about google, but facebook certainly do this. They pilfer your friends' contact lists from your their phones the moment they install the facebook app.

Also, make sure you log out of facebook when you finish with it, otherwise they track you as you browse the web whenever you go to a website that has a facebook like button.

Euro Parliament VOTES to BREAK UP GOOGLE. Er, OK then


Doesn't this also affect Microsoft/Bing, as well as Yahoo? They both have a search engine and commercial services don't they?

I'm sure there are others.

Edit: According to the Daily Fail, Apple are working on their own search engine. Not much point now is there?

Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer


Re: ? @squilookie

If you switch off your reality distortion field for a moment you would find that most top end android phones also keep their resale value.

Given that I probably spend half as much money for my similarly-speced phone than you, and can get a decent sim-only deal that gives me unlimited calls and data fro less than half what you pay, then I would say you are not saving as much money as you believe.

iPhone 6: Advanced features? Pah! Nexus 4 had most of them in 2012


And I've been using the industry standard DLNA to play content off my phone (and other DLNA servers) on my tv (and other DLNA players) for as long as airplay has been around. So what's your point exactly?

Edit: And a quick google reveals that Google Wallet has allowed android users in the USA to pay for stuff by NFC for the last 2 years. So instead of Apple lending their support to the current payment scheme, they have decided to do their own thing again, and managed to hoodwink everyone into thinking it is somehow new and revolutionary.

Multiple user accounts coming to Android phones 'n' slabs


I've been using the Xposed Framework and Modaco Toolkit to do this for quite a while on my Nexus 4.