Posts by Captain TickTock

Second Trojan asteroid confirmed to be leading our planet around the Sun

Re: XL5

L4 if it's leading the Earth around the sun I think

Engineers' Laurel and Hardy moment caused British Airways 787 to take an accidental knee

Is there some special reason...

..why a ladder couldn't have been used...?

Openreach out and hike prices on legacy fixed-line products: Broadband plumber pulls trigger after Ofcom gives the nod

certain “legacy” wholesale products, including FTTP

Almost certainly a typo

Devon knows how they make it so steamy: Phantom squatter of Torquay curls one out on bloke's motor

Re: £2000...

How does one crap on the roof of a car, without standing on it? So yeah, good guess

Sleeping Tesla driver wonders why his car ploughed into 11 traffic cones on a motorway

Super Mario Kart

Power Ups!

Lip-reading smart speakers: Just what no one always wanted

I'm sorry, Dave

I can't do that

Brit Parliament online orifice overwhelmed by Brexit bashers

Re: The only conspiracy

Check out @UltraButt on Twitter. Checks every 5 minutes so you don't have to

"834865 mofos have signed the petition."

https://twitter.com/UltraButt/status/1108707708197310464

Every major OS maker misread Intel's docs. Now their kernels can be hijacked or crashed

Re: So....

Well, if it's all to do the segmented memory from the 16bit days, it should hardly ever come up, No?

Boss sent overpaid IT know-nothings home – until an ON switch proved elusive

Re: try working in schools

Did you say it was getting pasta joke?

Ariane 5 primed for second launch of year after trajectory cockup

Re: Reusable?

"Additionally, less junk left flying around in space for the next mission to crash into."

The bits they're reusing would otherwise have ended up in the ocean, no?

Intel outside: Apple 'prepping' non-Chipzilla Macs by 2020 (stop us if you're having deja vu)

Re: Spelling

Calimari - "It's a trap!"

Re: A bit early, isn’t it?

Or pressure to get part prices down?

Re: Spelling

"...codenamed Kalamata”

Olive some of that

Copper feel, fibre it ain't: Ads regulator could face court for playing hard and fast with definitions

"Hard and Fast"

Don't you mean "Fast and Loose" ??

Transport pundit Christian Wolmar on why the driverless car is on a 'road to nowhere'

Re: It appears from the article that Mr. Wolmar is a railway enthusiast...

"your car goes to work as an autonomous taxi"

Not my car, with my stuff in it, that I pay the insurance on, that I clean...

FBI says it can't unlock 8,000 encrypted devices, demands backdoors for America's 'public safety'

Holy Trinity..

I count 4 excuses, what is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

Foiled again! Brit military minds splash cash on killing satellites with... food wrapping?

What about...

the additional impetus that the Earth's rotation gives, which is maximum at the equator, and helps save on fuel?

It's official: Users navigate flat UI designs 22 per cent slower

Re: That word Portmanteau

cleander

Reg reader offered £999,998 train ticket from Cambridge to Horley

stupidity without any sort of conscience is some scary shit.

Especially now that Trump's recent AP interview has really lowered the bar on the Turing test

Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?

This!

F*cking This!

You have earned your pint(s) for raising awareness of this insidious evil!

That 'Trump lawyers threaten teen over kitten website' yarn is Fakey Fakey McFake Fakeface

Not that big of a deal

change the name to drumpfscratch.com

NSW government drops a Catch: Bus Wi-Fi is a privacy nightmare

You can connect anonymously..

...but there's a Catch...

(mine's the one with a fake Wifi hotspot in the pocket)

Rogue One: This is the Star Wars back story you've been looking for

"that we first saw back in the 1980's"

Ahem, 1970s...

AMD will sell server CPUs at Happy Meal prices so you can supersize servers

The Parallella guy...

... has taped out a 1024-core chip

4-5 months yet before he sees silicon

Burger barn put cloud on IT menu, burned out its developers

Re: Hungry Jacks history (re: Fiddlers and tweakers indeed... )

Actually, Wikipedia says BK started HJs in WA (where I first encountered them). They had the Whopper then, but I don't recall it being the same as today's Whopper...

Hungry Jacks history (re: Fiddlers and tweakers indeed... )

The name Burger King was already taken. Burger King bought out Hungry Jacks, which served its own menu, and made it the exclusive franchise owner of Burger King in Oz. Since then, they've served the BK menu. So yes BK have certainly heard of them..

Prime Minister May hints at shaking up Blighty's 'dysfunctional' rural broadband

Re: Let me be very clear about this...

I thought "Marxist Interventionism" was in response to her stealing his energy policy, which she had previously called that.

Just checked, you're right, but this is more of the same innit?

Re: good starting point

What is the diffence in cost of laying fttp vs copper to new housing estates?

Re: Let me be very clear about this...

or as Ed Miliband put it quite well, "Marxist Interventionism"

User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

Converting a Word doc to HTML...

by changing the filename suffix...

this genius was the new configuration mgmt guru...

Re: A whiter shade of pale?

Governments have redacted confidential PDFS by adding black rectangles over the offending text, forgetting that copy-paste still works...

Oracle takes aim at AWS with cheap, fast public and hybrid cloud

Re: "complained about his salary"

Yeah, it's a bit rich...

TP-Link fined $200k, told to be nice to wireless router tinkers after throwing a hissy fit

Tinkers..?

or tinkerers?

Samsung: Don't install Windows 10. REALLY

same issue with more than a few Dell Inspiron.

Which one, specifically? Mine (5 yrs old) is working perfectly dual booting Win10 & Linux

ISS pump-up space podule fully engorged

Re: The Glastonbury Module

Embigeloed?

Watchdog snaps: Privatise the Land Registry? What a terrible idea!

Re: UK is really going to the dogs.

Ape shit bonkers

Amazon attempts rule fudge to take exclusive control of new dot-words

Re: I just want to register...

And what about pretentious.moi ?

Daft Punk: Snowden goes electronica

Bono's looking good for his age...

just sayin'

German mayor's browser tabs catch him with trousers down

It's an I WIND...

.. that blows nobody any good...

Health and Safety to prosecute over squashed Harrison Ford

He was lucky it wasn't worse

transporting rathtars without a license. Just asking for trouble.

Trane thermostat is a hot spot for viruses on home networks

"almost no one is updating their operating systems"

perhaps ambiguous writing?

In context, could mean "almost no one is updating the devices' operating systems"

BT blames 'faulty router' for mega outage. Did they try turning it off and on again?

'Faulty Router'

So which customer had the faulty router? ;-)

Nude tribute to Manet's Olympia ends in cuffing

Earned herself a cuffing.

Was she similarly collared?

Ground control to Major Tim! Brit's spacewalk halted after NASA 'naut takes unexpected leak

He/O

They use He/O mixtures for deep, deep, deep sea diving, where you have high pressures.

Would it be appropriate for space?

Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

lazy evaluation mention

see Haskell in table

Re: No mention of Prolog?

Because it is a logic programming language

Chinese unleash autonomous airborne taxi

Parking Spot Taken

If it's Paris, you land on top of them, or push them out of the way...

New gear needed to capture net connection records, say ISPs

Re: How exactly does this work

So if you wanted to stitch someone up you could easily set up a page such than when they visited your legit page you sent them off to all sorts of dodgy sites just for fun.

Of course this is simply defeated by opting into the family friendly web filter kindly set up for you under the direction of our esteemed government. You see, they've thought of everything!

Report: VW execs 'knew' about fuel economy issues last year

"I am not aware of any wrong doing on my part."

That's a suspiciously specific statement. I am not aware of any wrong doing on my part, but I'm aware of massive wrongdoing on other people's parts at my behest?

Which is a wrongdoing on my part - D'oh!

Outsourcer didn't press ON switch, so Reg reader flew 15 hours to do the job

Re: Shirley...

So when they turn it on and back off again, they come back and say "Yes, but it didn't work"