* Posts by TRT

8452 posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

If it were possible to evade facial-recognition systems using just subtle makeup, it might look something like this

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Re: Makeup detection

What's wrong with a stocking over the head? Works in The Sweeney. Deconvolve THAT!

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Has anyone considered...

the susceptibility of CMOS-based cameras to cosmetic radiation?

RIP Sir Clive Sinclair: British home computer trailblazer dies aged 81

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Sad day

RIP Sir Clive.

Apple debuts iPhone 13 with 1TB option, two iPad models, Series 7 Watch

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"Without reservation"... i.e. it was best for gatecrashers.

Running on empty, out of battery, power draining... three things the UK government definitely isn't. Oh no

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Re: Running on empty?

plentiful supply of sawdust and hot air available in Westminster.

Biggest takeaway from pandemic lockdowns for Microsoft? Teams stopped talking to each other

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Re: Teams vs. Slack

But morale-wise having all the social stuff can make a vas deferens.

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Re: Teams vs. Slack

Unfortunately the education version straight jackets you in certain ways, meaning it's a collaboration tool focussed on educating and teaching rather than education, administration, research, business activity etc.

For example, at least at the start of 2020 individual users on education couldn't create their own custom sidebar of shortcuts - after a few hours it would revert and insist on you having Classes taking up one of the vital 6 spots there, even if you were an administrator working in student records or a manager for in-house facilities like cleaning and maintenance where you would find, say, Shifts a more useful application to shortcut.

You walk in with a plan. You leave with GPS-tracking Nordic hiking poles. The same old story, eh?

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Re: Blind Faith anyone?

Diamond Dogs?

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Re: Nude Photos!

I was in Wales once, waiting on the seafront promenade to meet my father who was driving down for a day out. The beach was nearly deserted, and I had my camera out due to it having an excellent zoom function. I was there for quite a while.

Then I heard a voice from down below screaming up at me "You pervert! Stop taking photos of my kids you nonce! I'll have you! I've called the police."

I looked down and this woman was screaming up at me from the beach. There was about a mile of footprints in the wet sand leading back to two tiny pink dots near the water's edge.

"Huh?" I said.

"You heard. You're taking photos of my daughters in their cosies and when the police get here they'll have you and your camera!"

"Ma'am", I said, "when the police get here I'll happily show them all the photos I took of the off-shore platforms that are under construction, which is what caught my eye, along with the service vessels that are building them. I'll be sure to point you out when they turn up so you can explain why you think there's only one thing to see at the seaside. If they can be bothered to spend 10 minutes walking out to speak to you and 10 minutes walking back that is. Sounds like a waste of their time, to be honest."

Freak. Super protective, but happy to leave them on their own near the sea on mud and sand flats for half-an-hour whilst they went to shout at someone doing nothing more than enjoying the day.

The only embarrassing thing I was doing was showing possibly too much interest in energy infrastructure.

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Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

Weld on!

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Re: Bargle nawdle zouss

At work we always used to joke that budget supermarket wine should be called Coats the Tongue... until someone brought back a bottle from Budgens that was ACTUALLY called Côtes de Thongue.

It did, by the way.

This developer created the fake programming language MOVA to catch out naughty recruiters, résumé padders

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Re: open mouth - put foot in it

I was on a board recruiting for a music technician - there's a certain level of IT literacy required for any of those kinds of jobs now... anyway, one fly-guy, dodgy geezer, when asked about their software experience, said that they had worked in the industry for over 5 years now and had loads of contacts and they could get hold of any industry standard software we wanted for free because they had loads of cracked copies of just about anything.

"I see", said my colleague sitting next to me, making a note on their interview pad using the FAST pen they'd picked up at a conference on preventing software theft the previous day.

Spraying a boot error up the bathroom wall

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Surely...

La Pi Framboise ?

Lost in IKEA? So, it seems, is Windows

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Re: IKEA coming our way soon

Good Lord! If the can't follow the directions on the floor how are they going to cope with the directions in the little leaflet?

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On the way in they give you a stubby pencil, a bit of note paper, a paper measuring tape, a big yellow bag and a ball of string.

Failing a ball of string, you could try leaving a trail of crumbled ryvita.

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Re: IKEA

A group of people I knew once had a native Swedish speaker amongst them, and for amusement they had a game called The Ikea Game, where they picked a product name out of the catalogue at random and (1) had to try to pronounce it correctly and (2) the others then had to guess what kind of product it was.

Well... I suppose it must have helped pass the time.

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Re: IKEA

Ecky-Ah!

Spoken like a true weapons-grade black pudding wielding northerner!

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Re: Windows lost in Ikea?

Written using self-assembly language?

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The screen is likely to show...

An outline sketch of someone with a big nose looking confused with a question mark over their head, looking at a plate of meatballs, and then telephoning for instructions.

Google's newest cloud region taken out by 'transient voltage' that rebooted network kit

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Re: Australia does seem to have some brown out issues

The problem is the kangaroo gin gang. Individually they might have more power than horses but in terms of smoothness of output...

Now if they could work out a way of hooking up those fuck off humongous spiders to the generator instead ...

Samsung: We will remotely brick smart TVs looted from our warehouse

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Revenge is a dish...

that is best served over the air.

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Mangoes into a pub and says to the landlord...

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Worse still, in order to activate the FreeView application in some TVs, you have to have a strong enough TV signal via an aerial that it can detect the region data in the MUX broadcast. And it needs to check that every time you start the application. Kind of buggers the idea of having a smart TV for those bits of the house where you can't get a good signal from the terrestrial digital TV masts but the WiFi / Internet signal is OK.

Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain

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They have to deliver by lorry nowadays...

They previously distributed it using dedicated pipelines but they all collapsed after about a week due to the amount of suction required.

Hacking the computer with wirewraps and soldering irons: Just fix the issues as they come up, right?

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I once wanted a fifth hard drive...

in my PC running Windows 95...

But I only had IDE cards which sat in a specific range of memory, and you only got a single choice of location within that using a dip switch on the card... so a maximum two cards per PC, with a master and slave* on each - so 4 hard drives only.

Quick bit of jiggery pokery with wrapping wire, a spot-face cutter, some through pins and a soldering iron and I was able to fool the card into thinking it was on an address it expected when in reality, it wasn't. Unfortunately Windows 95 only expected those kinds of devices on specific address boundaries, so I had to make a few registry changes as well in order to get it the driver working half-way through the next address block instead of at the start...

But I did it! And it worked. And it only took a day of reading/planning and a few hours of messing around.

* Let's get HISTORICAL not HYSTERICAL - this is what they were properly called in those days - it said so on the cables and the devices!

A man spent a year in jail on a murder charge that hinged on disputed AI evidence. Now the case has been dropped

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Re: Supprise

Or, indeed, a pistol slug packed into a shotgun cartridge... saw that one on Death in Paradise.

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ED209 was on patrol...

Put down the weapon. You have 10 seconds to comply.

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Re: Only in Chicago

Blues Brother's car chase.

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Re: Shot spotter enabled

TBH if someone sitting next to me in the car got shot in the head by someone else, you'd just need to use the Shit Splatter detector on my seat.

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Re: Really?

Just like the backfiring car that went past in London yesterday... the only reason I wasn't dragging me, my mother and my prospective girlfriend into the shelter of a nearby doorway was because I was in London and the odds are pretty much against it being a drive by.

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Re: do people have a propensity to try to abuse AI systems?

Train your voice assistant to open the "Find My Device/Friend" application when you say the key phrase "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" and close it again in response to "Mischief managed".

Magna Carta mayhem: Protesters lay siege to Edinburgh Castle, citing obscure Latin text that has never applied in Scotland

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Re: Sumption is wrong

I have one too. Framed and kept on the hallway. A heavy, weapons grade, frame. Useful in matters of home defence.

Pi calculated to '62.8 trillion digits' with a pair of 32-core AMD Epyc chips, 1TB RAM, 510TB disk space

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Re: is knowing pi to a bazillion places useful for anything?

Ah yes. The Heisenberg Feng Shui Principle. Also known as The Schrödinger's Flat Paradox.

Apple's iPhone computer vision has the potential to preserve privacy but also break it completely

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Re: What has apple NOT seen?

Safe sex nowadays seems to mean videotaping the whole shebang so that one can later rely on it in court.

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Re: "It's on device, therefore it's private.

Presumably because one could reverse engineer a nonce image which could then be used to flood the system and render it useless. Unless there's some kind of double hash thing going on. I don't know. But there are enough 'privacy warriors' around who would join in I think to defeat this.

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Re: Capability

"that's because they won and we lost. "

Oh yeah. I knew there had to be a catch somewhere.

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Re: What has apple NOT seen?

Now THAT'S a patentable idea.

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Re: Capability

Possibly, possibly, but then when various governments around the world start playing the 'Think of the Children' card as part of their electioneering, and then when they get into power then kick those lobbying TechGiants right in the 'nads by NOT giving in to them about technical infeasibility in ensuring that they are not a vehicle for the distribution of whatever kind of immorality is the flavour of that four years... Apple can say "We're doing everything feasible and reasonable to ensure that the spread of kiddie pr0n / donkey pr0n etc is not something we are facilitating"... and STILL be able to say their messaging is e2e encrypted, backups are securely stored etc etc...

They effectively dodge the feds thumbscrews on encryption etc by putting an AI fed agent into every device on the inside of the user encryption wall.

I mean, they're getting nail gunned by the press now, BUT (and this is where I'm probably being somewhat naive and too optimistic), if they can present a mechanism that satisfies the feds and gets them to back down from pressuring the law makers into weakening encryption... then that's a win, no?

BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

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Magnet fishing???

Given the hazards of this pastime with regards to the accidental recovery of unexploded WW2 ordinance, I have a feeling that this little nugget of information has been filed away for future reference.

Fancy joining the SAS's secret hacker squad in Hereford as an electronics engineer for £33k?

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Re: Who Dares Codes

Software As Service?

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What??

Take a pay cut? Why would one want to do that??!!

Thunderbird 91 lands: Now native on Apple Silicon, swaps 'master' for 'primary' password, and more

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A few years ago, reference Office 365...

Can't I download the Office applications to my computer? I prefer the non-web version for when I'm working offline.

OK, you click on the field of 9 dots on the top left of the page in your web browser next to where it says Office 365... No, not on the words Office 365, that takes you somewhere else, it's the 9 dots... Yes I know it's not very obvious... don't shout at me! I didn't write the bloody thing.

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Coat

Re: Used to like TB but only last used it centuries ago

It went through a period of sickness which almost had them taking it out around the back of the shed and putting it out of its misery, but I'm glad to say it has recovered from, what we like to call, the Thunderbird ague!

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Re: In other news

Next week they're re-releasing "Barrel of a Walkie-Talkie".

BOFH: 'What's an NFT?' the Boss asks. In this case, 'not financially thoughtful'

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Re: Thank you

And not two half cars?

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Re: Thank you

It is far better than my example of the difference between fungible and non-fungible, which centred around trying to explain the difference between a £10 note and a cheque for £10, and I THEN had to proceed to explain WTF a cheque was.

Bloody youngsters.

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Re: Historically

Fungible the Bogeyman?

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Of course there's another level to this story...

In a master stroke of genius not only did Simon exchange the real money for some vaguely passable forgeries that he ran off quietly on a few reams of that plastic impregnated "long-life" paper bought a few years ago to print "permit to work" and "storage permits" for contractors working in outdoor/harsh environments, you know, the stuff certified for cleanroom use, but that the "Sustainability Champions" managed to get banned due to the high plastic content (so now they have to print new permits every time it rains) and has been sitting quietly in the corner of the paper store for the last 5 years, but he also videoed the whole shebang, including a running commentary, of 'How the boss burned two grand' which he then auctioned off as an NFT and made a further £20k from.

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Re: I could see where this was going

A '99 with a flake' is actually a 'Bunny Ears', if you think about t it. And if you DO think about t it... then suddenly you want one and your ears will be tuning in for the sound of Greensleeves / Popeye / Whistle While You Work / O Sole Mio...

Electrocution? All part of the service, sir!

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Re: Flash!

The very definition of the Ampere.

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