* Posts by diver_dave

66 posts • joined 2 Sep 2009

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Snapchat domain squatter loses comedy £1m URL sellback attempt

diver_dave

I seem to remember a BOFH where this was the PHB's idea.

Unsurprisingly a merry jape followed.

Where's the best place to add Mentos to Diet Coke for the most foam? How big are the individual bubbles? Has science gone too far?

diver_dave

To protect...

The victim of his own (suggest suitable word here)

A colleague of mine once tried dissolving solpadine in diet coke.

This resulted in much swearing, soaked laptops and three of us announcing we were going for lunch and would, maybe, be back later depending on how long it took him to clean up.

Effervescent tablets plus coke = wooshh

NASA mulls restoring Saturn V to service as SLS delays and costs mount

diver_dave

Re: I've read that story

Orphanage by Robert Buettner.

Fun series.

Adapting 767 fuselages as dropships.

Take DOS, stir in some Netware, add a bit of Windows and... it's ALIIIIVE!

diver_dave

That said

Anyone know how to get Day of the Tentacle running in W10???

diver_dave

Pah...

64k for a flight sim

Zx81 did it in 1k

((raspberry))

BOFH: Judge us not by the size of our database, but the size of our augmented reality

diver_dave
Pint

Happy Friday

I regret I only have one beer to pay down for the author!

Traffic lights worldwide set to change after Swedish engineer saw red over getting a ticket

diver_dave

Re: Show this to the Mexican police

Woebetide you being on the Tulum to Cancun road on a Saturday morning.

The amount of hire cars pulled on their way to the airport is astounding.

Of course. Quick donation required to a trapped motorist rushing to catch a flight.

When the satellite network has literally gone glacial, it's vital you snow your enemy

diver_dave

Re: Battleship!

Not if a candle charge goes in after the pigstick.

Boom....

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

diver_dave

Similar

Once was asked to double check some figures as 18 out of 24 didn't "feel" like 75% to the user.

Too early for pint o'clock?

From pen-test to penitentiary: Infosec duo cuffed after physically breaking into courthouse during IT security assessment

diver_dave

Re: I can't help thinking

Where are Woodward and Bernstein when you need them?

Operation Desert Sh!tstorm: Routine test shoots down military's top-secret internets

diver_dave

Oh.....

You are so much closer than you think!

diver_dave

Well..

The day it started I was first in at 7. By the time anyone from the DR team was in I had already arranged the Linklines to be pointed at another office. That a communication went out internally and recorded a temp message for the top level IVR to explain to customers any delays. I'd also arranged a single temp line by virtue of dropping a cable out of the window to Otis who had the floor below and were on a dedicated C&W system. No idea why they were still running as I thought they used the BT backbone. System D in action.

Fortunately we were running a beta of Sametime so had some additional real time comms

Head of DR rolled in at 9:30. I paged them at 7:10.

My colleague and I came out of it quite well despite steamrollering the DR process. DR did not exactly cover themselves with glory that week.

Dave

diver_dave

During the Manchester BT fire one of my colleagues gatecrashed a DR recovery meeting to TRY and point out that just because our Stockport office could call it's own lines didn't necessarily mean that the whole system was back up. Mentioning that if the whole system was available we should be able to call BETWEEN offices.

He was reprimanded for being negative.

Ah., Joy...

Pints all

Good weekend.

Dave

Having bank problems? I feel bad for you son: I've got 25 million problems, but a bulk upload ain't one

diver_dave

Re: A fine wunch

Thanks...

Mention BNC...

Ruin my Monday..

Back to therapy!

diver_dave

Re: 10 minutes, not a second more...

Indeed.

A friend of mine working on a large development in central London had a rather interesting experience.

He actually padlocked the cabinet closed and placarded after isolating the 3 phase supply. Went up two floors to continue installing busbars and starting termination. About 20 Min later he dropped a bar bolt. Which apparently then proceeded to short the bars with much banging, flashing and smoke.

Rather rattled (possible understatement warning) he flew back down to the plant room to find the Architect, site manager and owner had cropped the lock off so they could look at the lighting on a finished floor.

There was a subsequent "free and Frank expression of views and opinions management".

Followed by the culprits having a rather large whipround.

According to him he made more in 5 minutes than he normally made in a month as a third year apprentice.

He still talks about it 30 years later

Dave

Idle Computer Science skills are the Devil's playthings

diver_dave

Re: what would you have done with a student who managed to take down the mainframe?

I'll see your Black Monks and raise you a Technomage.

He he...

Could you just pop into the network room and check- hello? The Away Team. They're... gone

diver_dave

Not MY Daftness

Got back from dinner in Tulum after a day cave diving.

One of our party had swopped batteries on their charger just before we went out. EXCEPT.....

Instead of plugging flat battery into charger flat was connected tp freshly charged unit.

Who says you can' make a battery pack look like a 200 year old church candle. Would have been hours of work for a skilled dribbler. [*]

Smell was interesting too!

Dave

[*] I feel a TP ref appropriate.

Canadian woman fined for not holding escalator handrail finally reaches the top after 10 years

diver_dave

Re: Other escalator laws

Paddington

Suunto settles scary scuba screwup for $50m: 'Faulty' dive computer hardware and software put explorers in peril

diver_dave

True

The whole 10 day cave syllabus is designed around accident analysis. This boils down to three main causes (omitting stupidity)

1- incorrect gas planning. Law of thirds. One third in. One third out and one third reserve.

2- failing to mark lines/visual rather than phsically linked jumps.

3- failure of light source.

Again, like flying it is another swiss cheese.

Unfortunately I was right in the middle of one in 2016 in Tulum. Having to do a body recovery after someone who should have known much better screwed up. Very unpleasant.

Dave

diver_dave

Gas calculations

Oddly enough.

I do that in my head constantly throughout the dive. Although I admit I cannot dive in Imperial.

I know my tidal rate is 18l per minute. So 36l at 20m.

I then double it to allow for increased workload.

My normal buddy (SWIMBO- has a much lower rate than me and normally dives a smaller tank.

Our predive planning aleays includes my gas failing amd us bailing out onto her tank. Again allowing for deco and increased consumption.

Always plan plan plan...

Dave

diver_dave

Dive computers aren't a replacement for a brain.

Exactly.

With OC cave diving I carry with manifolded twins. 2 computers and an independent SPG that gets regularly checked.

Dive plan and turn pressures are also on a arm slate so I don't fumble or them in an emergency. Additionally, I have a nice Dive Rite slate that has 2 layers so I also do a sketch map of the cave.

Interestingly. You missed the fact that over half the rebreather course is spent in emergency drills and driving the unit manually.

Still sticking with OC I think...

Dave

diver_dave

Watches

@ken16

Watches are very rarely as waterproof as they say. There is a massive amount of fiddle room when it comes to exactly HOW water tight they are.

Computers give you essentially:

Depth

Dive time elapsed

Time until you need to make decompression stops.

If in decompression. What stops you need to make to offgas.

In my case my computer also shows, via a little wireless transmitter, the remaining contents in my tank.

Essentially.... It is telling you how to not die.

Now, I actually had a problem with a different brand.

With these computers they tend to decide your battery life is not allowed to go below 55%. After that the unit shuts down.

On a dive a few years ago I had the unit suddenly start displaying very odd content readings. 180bar suddenly dropped to 130 then 45 then back to 150 and the unit locked up. Dive aborted after 5 minutes.

I now have a seperate contents gauge as well.

However, you still need time and depth as well.

Especially in a cave in Mexico.

Safe diving all..

Dave

Montezuma's Revenge can finally be laid to rest as Uber AI researchers crack the classic game

diver_dave

Other challenges

How about giving it a crack at Starquake.

Very different every time. Goal objects change every game as do key locations....

I love my Speccie EMU.....

Dave

The best way to screw the competition? Do what they can't, in a fraction of the time

diver_dave

Non IT angle

Several years ago I was teaching for a dive school in Malta.

One of the dives, the Um El Faroud, is spectacular. However given Maltese traffic upto an hours drive.

We get there and one client has forgotten his BCD. Now I love the Faroud and this was also to be a proper push dive right into the engine room.

No problem says I... Customer Service time. Lend the customer my BCD and sit out the dive.

50 minutes later the group surface.

Customer hands me my BCD back. I ask how dive was.

"Yeah.... Noce dive but the Jackets a bit sh*t...."

Gurrrr.....

Dave.

Overexcitable UK ads regulator gabbles that Amazon broke EU law

diver_dave

Anvils

Or hammers...

Nothing that can't be fixed with a bigger hammer.

Spent your week box-ticking? It can't be as bad as the folk at this firm

diver_dave

Hummmmm

Sounds like a well known large telecommunications company who quoted £400+vat to add one field to a custom report they had built for Symposium [×]

Ended up scripting a merge for the two reports that would then give the required output. Sum of 2hrs work....

DaveA

[×] May have given it away there!

diver_dave

Re: Cheaper option

See the BOFH on how document management systems REALLY work.

Brit teen pleads guilty to Minecraft-linked bomb and airline hoaxes

This post has been deleted by a moderator

diver_dave

Garston

got to be Lemonfield...

never trusted anyone from there :-)

Trainer regrets giving straight answer to staffer's odd question

diver_dave

Re: I wish I knew that 15 years ago

That's the one.

Not fueled by caffine!

diver_dave

Should have added

Same 'client who wanted us to re-cable every desk in the building because she

shoved her bag under so far it kept pushing the phone cable out.

I *really really* should have expected the worse.

Did I mention *really*?

diver_dave

Re: I wish I knew that 15 years ago

Old BT M3710 turret.

User (By phone on next desk): My turret isn't working

Me: What's it doing?

User: Display is black and it's not giving a dial tone when I select a line.

Me: Has anything happened? Has cable been knocked out? (Long shot but not unknown)

User: No nothing.

Me: Ok let me test line. (I get nothing so turret is DOA)

Me: On my way with a replacement. (Down 5 flights of stairs)

On arriving, turret is definitely dead with black LCD screen. I pick it up to change it and....

Get a sleeveful of cold coffee.

User: Ah, would that stop it working.

Of course 8AM on a Monday morning.

Probably worth noting the user was one of my more challenging customers.

DaveA

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal: Directors quit, new sack effort started

diver_dave

Is there...............

Enough popcorn in the world for this?

Oh, and, exactly HOW much popcorn is too much?

DaveA

Lawyers sued for impersonating rival firm online to steal clients

diver_dave

Re: Not Just Lawyers

Ah yes.....

The great undertaking....

:-)

Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

diver_dave

Concepts...

NASA already got there. No need for anything new, just ask J. Michael Straczynski...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfury#Real_world_interest

Now this is what I think the Orange one wants:

I give you..... SpaceForce 1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omega-class_destroyer

Have a good weekend all....

diver_dave
Joke

Re: Excellent sub-head!

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity".

Notebooks of Lazarus Long. R.A.H.

Never a truer word, never a truer word.....

Google Spectre whizz kicked out of Caesars, blocked from DEF CON over hack 'attack' tweet

diver_dave
Pint

Harrogate...

Give it it's due.

It does have some good beer and curry houses.

:-)

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

diver_dave

Re: Never do this

Agree completely...

However for shits and giggles the fire marshal course in Malta cannot be beaten.

You try: Dry powder, CO2, Water and Inert gas extinguishers. A fire blanket on a real oil pan fire. Then AFTER lunch..... They set a wood fire in a cargo container and get three of you to crack the door carrying a hose. Loads of fun(in a controlled situation) but shows exactly what flash over looks like.

Possible the best course I have ever been on.

DaveA

diver_dave
Mushroom

Re: Buncefield

*Age Warning*

I remember Flixborough from my dim and distant youth.

The odd thing with these kind of incidents that pressure / blast wave propagation is a bit like the three body problem on steroids! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three-body_problem

Waves tend to do some very strange things as you get reinforcements and waves cancelling each other out. Some can be predicted such as directing force for demolitions, however, there is always a risk factor.

IIRC. Buncefield was very directional due to the nature of the initial blast and then the secondary's changing the blast wave following the initial FAE.

Although even with some predictability, it's still Russian Roulette. Unless of course you are in a lead lined fridge!

FORD:

Look I hate to say this lads, but this thing really is going to blow up!

ZAPHOD:

Ok, oo-kay.

[Massive explosion! ! !]

diver_dave

Buncefield

I was living in Watford at the time...

Felt the windows move as the Munro effect manifested itself.

That said, I have a friend who had just moved to Adeyfield (sp?) and all they heard was

a whoosh, then all the leaves were cleared from the street. No damage at all!

Very scary morning for all, Kudos to the FRS who had no idea how bad it was when they went in.

DaveA

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

diver_dave

Bluebottle...

Oz is ok... NZ would have been better. It's further...

diver_dave

That's the one.

Accessed via Charter Place next to Allsports. Up onto the roof and walk round. I suppose carrying a drill with a bloody great bit in it didn't help much..

Just to show my age. I do remember Cordelles before Charter Place existed, and throwing washing up liquid in the fountain outside C&A.

Last time I was there I got lost driving from Rickmansworth to North Watford. What the ***! have they done to Rickey Rd.....

diver_dave

Haven't been back in years.

Gravel/concrete roofs hurt!

diver_dave

Similar.

Again in the 80's...

Was installing Christmas lights in Watford town center. Big heavy buggers (no LED back then) so catinery wires required.

Working on the roof I had to hop over a dwarf wall to get where I needed to anchor the cable.

5 minutes later I was pinned to the gravel floor by three of her Majesties finest being shouted at.

Probably should have told Lloyds first!

DaveA

Trainee techie ran away and hid after screwing up a job, literally

diver_dave

Re: Key word is "Trainee"

Exactly! That's what I'm talking about. Sure, they're doing something that is relatively easy, but they are learning something relevant. This part is called X. It is part of that thing over there, and it performs task Y.

Catering collage... The first class is always cleaning. You don't even get to make the mess yourself! Other classes love being able to f*ck up a kitchen then go home!

Test Systems Better, IBM tells UK IT meltdown bank TSB

diver_dave

Re: Turning off OpenAM token validation!?

Sorry to correct you....

I believe this is to make sure YOU are not doing anything naughty like sending money for Swiss cheese to North Korea..

DaveA

Zombie Cambridge Analytica told 'death' can't save it from the law

diver_dave

Wowbagger.

"You're a jerk Dent, a complete A**hole"...

diver_dave

Re: Pass out the torches and pitchforks!

Seems to me there'd be fewer extreme remedies suggested here were I to mention that Barrack Obama himself benefited from a similar Facebook privacy invasion back in 2012, which helped him get elected.

Big John, two points....

1) This is the Reg, vitriol and pitchforks are expected. Flaming torches depends on the current OPEC price on Brent Crude.

2) Unfortunately there wasn't a bandwagon to jump on in 2012.

Jokes aside, the public perceptions of security across Europe (I can't speak to for the US situation) have actually become more important to individuals over the last four - five years [1]. This means people are far more aware of their risk, and, also their responsibilities in managing their online presence. Oddly enough, Romania had most trust that the data collector would manage their personal information safely, Malta the least trust.

Given this increased awareness it is not surprising that people make more waves about data slurps.[2]

[1]Source: CORDIS EU Horizon 20:20 project framework. Secure Societies, Protecting the freedom and security of Europe and it's citizens. (Various Projects)

[2] That said another 20:20 project researches the involvement in privacy and reading of EULA's. So the propensity to complain after the fact, and with increased indignation, appears to be the norm.

diver_dave

Here we go again!

Regarding El Reg keeping watch.

I am hoping they dedicate the same level of dedication nay passion they

showed with the scumbags at Phorm [1]

First against the wall when the revolution comes!

He he he...

DaveA

[1] Now appears to be either an artists collective or a muscle supplement :-)

Zucker for history: What I learnt about Facebook 600 years ago

diver_dave

Re: Mail/Express Axis of Evil

Sorry to correct but....

You forgot the obligatory Monday morning Princess Di headline...

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