* Posts by Lord Elpuss

2313 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

Please, just stop downloading apps from unofficial stores: Android users hit with 'unkillable malware'

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "and assume root privilege"

On a VLAN I hope? There's no way I'd allow an Android 6/7 device to coexist on my normal network - it's a potential risk vector I just don't need.

2020 MacBook Air teardown shows in graphic detail how butterfly keyboards were snipped for scissor switch

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Apple prices

$1.35tn market cap tells me they've done their sums right and is the literal definition of realistic, in the sense that it's as 'real' as it gets. Whatever their business model, you can't deny it works - and it works because there are a huge number of people who DO find the price/value ratio realistic.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Exactly

A lot of people also don’t realise that if you run a significantly sized business, doing it on Hackintoshes is impractical at best and at worst could put you out of business.

Apple may turn a blind eye to individuals, but companies like mine of 100 or more are likely to get slapped much harder; they tend to want to stay on the right side of the law.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

Yes by all means, feel free to jog on.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

First downvote wasn't from me - obviously somebody else isn't keen on your tone either.

The second downvote WAS from me. Enjoy.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

"Apple sells very expensive equipment that doesn't actually do anything to justify the expense"

In YOUR view. In MY view, I save money, stress and man-hours by buying Apple. I buy judiciously (I have a 2017 base model MacBook Pro and an iPhone 8 Plus, so nothing fancy by today's standards), my family also have iPhones (an SE and a 7) and MacBooks (a 2012 and a 2015), and all have proven to be reliable workhorses, with pretty much zero 'bling'; as you put it.

It works for me. I don't feel I've overpaid for the value I'm getting. Others may feel they get more value from Windows, or Android, or Linux, and I don't tell them they're idiots - I'm sure they're happy with their choice. And yet apparently I'm an idiot for choosing what works for me, and a whinger when I dislike being called an idiot.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

I don’t like being called an idiot for making my informed decisions. If you think this makes me self-righteous, I don’t think you know what the term means.

Apple’s revenue and profit margins are also the single biggest disprover of the ‘idiot tax’ myth. No company grows to that level without selling products that people actually need and find useful.

And your comments coming from somebody who claims to have been involved in every technological breakthrough of the last 100 years, you have a VERY inflated view of your own credibility Jake.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

Yup. It’s inaccurate, puerile and just plain lazy writing, and it pisses me off. As long as El Reg continues to use it, I’ll continue to give them two word answers involving sex and travel.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

” The Cupertino collector of idiot tax”

Fuck off.

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

A fat cheque for a fat Czech.

Apologies to Private Eye

Exchange some currency you want to? Guess the BIOS setup keyboard combination first you must, young Padawan

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Travel Money?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, health secretary Matt Hancock both test positive for COVID-19 coronavirus

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: The emergency regulations...

I'd be interested in understanding more about 2. (a) here.

UK enters almost-lockdown: Brits urged to keep calm and carry on – as long as it doesn't involve leaving the house

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Re: "One form of exercise a day"

"...who's point is to ignore the data"

Point wasn't about ignoring the data, was it. FFS. Do you work in Trump's Alternative Fact's Division?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

I'm currently watching "How to Command a Nuclear Submarine" on Netflix - it follows 5 Captains-in-training as they go through the RN training programme prior to taking on their own command.

The single biggest reason for these trainees failing to complete their objectives is 'command paralysis through overload of data' - they are faced with so much information that they need to be able to distill and decide very quickly, and many are not up to the job.

A good leader is able to make a call based on consideration of the right factors, INCLUDING time. Sometimes this means making a judgement call in absence of data, or when overloaded with data; it may not be a perfect decision, but it needs to be made NOW.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

Employers don’t get to decide what’s necessary; UK Gov does. This includes Mike Ashley - hopefully UKGov decides to make an example of him to show what happens when employers take the piss.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: What about the airports?

"This makes a mockery of Boris' attempts to put everyone else under house arrest"

No it doesn't.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

He literally couldn't have explained it any clearer.

If you still don't get it, let me summarise it for you. Stay in your f*cking house, unless you need to get something you need to keep you alive, like food and medicine.

It really, really isn't rocket science.

World's smallest violin to be played for opportunistic sellers banned from eBay and Amazon for price gouging

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: How about supermarkets...

As opposed to the more left- or right-wing breasts, which are much less desirable and therefore cheaper.

Apple updates iPad Pro with a trackpad, faster processor. Is it a real computer now?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Yeah, sure.

My laptop (base model 2017 MacBook Pro) has 128GB. It's 'serious' enough that I can run my business from it. Point being: a laptop doesn't have to set the world on fire to be considered 'serious' - 128GB is more than enough for a great many users.

As with all things, YMMV.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

iPad Pro: Looks decent. Can live with the price.

Pencil: Don't need it myself, but for those that do it's a good option. Pretty expensive tho.

Magic Keyboard: Pretty go... wait who am I kidding. It costs HOW much?!?!?!? For a KEYBOARD?!??! For that price it should be able to read my mind, accurately transcribe my inner dialogue and 'magically' turn my semi-coherent ramblings into artful prose worthy of the most silver-tongued scribes the world has ever seen.

Sennheiser Momentum True Wireless 2 earbuds: They're good – though for close to £300, they really should be

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Waxy build-up

Apple will let you try them for free - no problem. You can even buy them and return them within 30 days if they're not right for you.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: almost as much as a pair of Sony WH-1000XM3

Ah sorry yes - I’m thinking of the WF-1000XM3. Bloody Sony naming...

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Waxy build-up

I hate this too. If you want buds but don't want them in your ears, try Bose buds with StayHear tips. They block the ear canal but don't actually go in - so unless your ears are properly mucky they shouldn't bother you.

AirPods Pro use a similar approach; but people on here get fed up with me banging on about Apple so.... try the Bose.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: almost as much as a pair of Sony WH-1000XM3

They're cheaper than 200 quid now most places, but in my view they're not worth much more. I had a pair when they first came out, the left earpiece broke in short order (wouldn't charge) and although the replacement set didn't break per se, I was never happy with them. The buds were large and heavy, connection was ok but not great, and the ANC was nowhere near as good as my Bose QC20s - although those were wired and didn't have the engineering challenges of wireless 'buds.

I also wasn't happy with the charging case - it was a big old beast, and although it looked ok when new it picked up scratches like nobody's business.

I sold them and bought AirPods Pro* when they came out - haven't looked back.

* In the interests of full transparency my AirPods Pro also had teething issues - I bought them on launch day, and I don't think Apple had got the manufacturing down to a tee yet. The plastic bud shells didn't perfectly match (so they ended up with a thin black grime ring around them) and the charging case also wasn't perfectly machined so you could clearly see the seams, which also picked up dirt. I took them back to Apple last month, the Genius guy agreed quality was not great and replaced them immediately; the new set is an order of magnitude better. Moral of this little diatribe is if your AirPods fall into the 'OK but not great' category, get them back to Apple and ask for a replacement.

Watch this space: Chinese mobe flinger OPPO flexes first shot at the wearables market

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Veti, you're not correct. If you choose not to defend a patent within a reasonable timeframe, you run the risk of being denied relief. Aspex vs Clariti, Inc is a classic case in point.

Generally speaking, US patent law holds that although the statute of limitations on a patent infringement suit is 6 years, failure to initiate proceedings within THREE years risks legal estoppel, i.e. the patent holder is no longer permitted to deny the validity of title to the infringer.

Google Legal Estoppel for more.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

All true, but there are 2 arguments that could mean they go for it -

1. Iif you don't defend a patent then it could result in losing rights under that patent (which could harm their future business), and

2. Half a billion is pocket money to Apple (and Samsung) but not to many other companies which might be tempted to give it a go if there were no legal consequences.

For Apple it's primarily about protecting the brand/preventing dilution.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Apple engaging legal weaponry in 3.... 2....

HMRC claims victory in another IR35 dispute to sting Nationwide contractor for nearly £75k in back taxes

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

On the merits stated in the article, this actually seems like a fair decision.

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Ruthlessly, viciously, take-no-prisoners effective. Just the way I like my BoFH :D

US Homeland Security mistakenly seizes British ad agency's website in prostitution probe gone wrong

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

So the biggest, fattest, orangeist kid in the playground decides one day that he wants to be the Police of All Things (TM), and sets about doing what he damn well pleases. What's yours is mine now. And you can only have it back when (and if) I say so. And to get it back, YOU have to write ME a letter saying you're very sorry and you promise not to tell the teacher.

In any sane world, that kid would get a reality check very quickly. But as we know, this isn't the real world....

The Wristwatch of the Long Now: When your MTBF is two centuries

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Beware survival bias

"Waste time on the job a: constantly swapping batteries b: not being able to have two people using tools at the same time c: waiting to recharge."

Systems like this aren't aimed at professionals/teams/large scale operations; the link you posted is for DeWalt consumer range. They're aimed at the kind of jobs that are done by one person, one, maximum two tools at a time, within the capacity of a single battery charge. Think putting up shelves, trimming a hedge or similar.

If you are a professional/team/large scale operation, you're only going to use batteries if there's no realistic alternative (in which case you'll likely have a number of these tools and a charging bank with 20 or so batteries) - or for the bigger/more static jobs, an on-site generator and mains power.

Going Dutch: The Bakker Elkhuizen UltraBoard 950 Wireless... because looks aren't everything

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

What am I missing here? This is just another crappy no-name Chinese Bluetooth keyboard like literally tens of thousands before it, with what seems like no redeeming features whatsoever apart from a rebadge by an office supply company who's only contribution appears to be the £HOWF*CKINGMUCH?!? pricetag.

Not wishing to be overly negative El Reg, but really - why are you reviewing this?

Microsoft crack habit reports: User claims Surface Laptop 3 screen fractured again after repair

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "Physical damage do[es] not happen if there is no external force"

Ah, the good old 'semi'-rugged. Users would see 'rugged' in the description and believe that their laptop would somehow survive being dunked in concrete (true story), left on a car roof until it took flight (true story) or put through Heathrow baggage handling without any protection whatsoever (true story). And then return them saying "It's rugged, so should have been able to handle it".

Sweet memories.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "Physical damage do[es] not happen if there is no external force"

"It's always nice when customer support basically tells you to your face that you're a lying twat, isn't it ?"

Unfortunately having been a helpdesk monkey in the past, one of the truisms of the industry is that Customers Lie. Which means that when YOU call with something like this; a completely legitimate yet (on the face of it) difficult to believe problem, you're typically following a long line of people who HAVE dropped/mishandled their shiny yet are also claiming it 'just fell apart in their hands'.

That's why companies that do proper defect analysis and proactively take action when a recurring design fault is identified are so valued.

'That's here. That's home. That's us': It's 30 years since Voyager 1 looked back and squinted at a 'Pale Blue Dot'

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Human curiosity

"You forgot the "if it din't kill you first" part!"

You can still learn, even if it kills you. You just don't have very long to apply your new learning...

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Great to see some many women in science at NASA

Not misogynistic, it's just unnecessary to bring gender into abso-bloody-lutely everything.

Science (and scientists) are awesome. Leave it at that.

Best buds? Apple must be fuming: Samsung's wireless earphones boast 11 hours of listening on a single charge

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Re: in Euros

I don't have fur - I have scales

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: in Euros

Noonoot you're still missing the point. The Galaxy Buds+ ($150) compete with the Apple Airpods 2 ($159).

Comparing with Airpods Pro ($249) is not accurate as the Airpods Pro are higher-end devices with active noise cancelling and wireless charging.

Former Autonomy boss Mike Lynch 'submits himself' for arrest in central London

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: 10 million pounds bail

Bang on. It worked too.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Fair Trade

So trading somebody who admitted killing another human being, and actively abused her husband's diplomatic status to avoid prosecution, for somebody who's admitted nothing, is in all probability innocent and even in the highly unlikely event of being convicted is only guilty of embarrassing a US-owned megacorp?

Not a fair trade. In any respect.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: 10 million pounds bail

Bail is designed to stop you running away. To you or me, 10 million is ridiculous; to a multimillionaire less so. A significant number of whom would happily forfeit £10m to avoid going to prison.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Trade deal - test for the UK government

"Can you negotiate that in return for extraditing Mike Lynch the US agrees to extradite Anne Sacoolas."

It's a neat soundbite, but flawed. Anne Sacoolas has pretty much admitted guilt, was personally responsible for causing the death of another human being, and deliberately abused various international treaties in order to avoid prosecution.

Mike Lynch has admitted nothing, is very close to being acquitted, and even in the extremely unlikely event that he is found guilty, nobody died.

From WordPad to WordAds: Microsoft caught sneaking nagging Office promos into venerable text editor beta

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: So...

Just one. Starts with M.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Many of these ads can be disabled.

"Words meaning two things for example or changing entirely depending on context."

Ask a Dutchman to translate 'gezellig'.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Many of these ads can be disabled.

True, but English is full of anomalies like that. Check out the poem The Chaos for how much of a nightmare it can be for a foreigner trying to learn it.

In this case the rule is that when 's' follows a voiced sound (in this case the 'o' from 'lose') it is pronounced /z/. When the 's' follows a voiceless sound (the breathy second 'o' in 'loosing') it is pronounced /s/.

PS I didn't downvote you :)

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Where did it all go wrong?

"Time was, you *bought* a windows licence (or at least the licence tax as part of your PC price), and you were free to use the OS and the built in apps (Write, Paintbrush etc.) and games without being bombarded by advertising."

You still can, technically. Where it all went wrong was people wanting sh*t for free, and initially being ok with the ad-supported model. Then the rot sets in; the ads become more and more intrusive, people forget that this is the price they pay (paid) for free sh*t and complain bitterly.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Many of these ads can be disabled.

"loosing"

Losing.

Sorry. Pet hate.

EU declares it'll Make USB-C Great Again™. You hear that, Apple?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Same for power...

"And definitely not MA, unless you're trying to vapourise your house..."

I literally laughed out loud at that.

Scared the cat.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"This is Apple ruining it for everyone else by refusing to play ball..."

Apple own the ball, the playing field, all the kit worn by the players, both goals and the stadium. They pretty much get to choose what connector to use, and it becomes a de-facto standard by virtue of sheer volume of sales.

Most other manufacturers have to conform in one way or another because they're not big enough in market volume to go it alone.

Whoa, whoa... Tesla slams brakes on allegations of 'unintended acceleration' bug: 'Completely false and was brought by a short-seller'

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Sure, deny it and point to the evidence that supports your position...

” but logging off the can bus means there has already been a layer of software interpretation, which makes it all very suspect.“

No it doesn’t, and no it doesn’t.