* Posts by Lord Elpuss

1311 posts • joined 17 Aug 2009

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Apple's MagicPairing for Bluetooth fails to enchant after mischief-making bugs found hiding in the stack

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: So, several versions of badly written code

Flawless code only means they haven't found any bugs. Yet.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: 20 years ago

"Is it Elementary or Elementry for a school? Spilleng misteaks we're rampent"

That made my eyes bleed

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Pairing != Connecting. MagicPaired devices will connect automatically to whichever device they were last connected, and appear pre-paired in the Bluetooth menus of all other devices on the same iCloud account. They can then be connected with a single click/tap from that device, which then becomes the active connection. It's actually rather well implemented.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

It's primarily for convenience. Once an Apple Bluetooth device using this protocol is paired to another, it's automatically paired to every device which uses the same iCloud account. So you pair your AirPods once to your iPhone, then they are automatically paired with your Mac, iPad and any other device signed in to your iCloud account and can seamlessly switch between these without being reconnected or repaired.

It also in theory allows for devices to be locked to an iCloud account - so stolen AirPods or Apple Pencils could not be used on devices associated with another account without being unlocked first.

If you're appy and you know it: The Huawei P40 Pro conclusively proves that top-notch specs aren't everything

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Google apps etc. via browser?

Your experience is your experience, but YouTube in the browser runs flawlessly on our iPad Pro from 2015 and always has done. And given my wife's ability to complain about anything that doesn't load IMMEDIATELY, I'm pretty confident that if there was a problem, I'd know about it.

If yours is experiencing problems, the first thing I'd look at is the battery. When max capacity drops under 80%, the iPad will slow down to avoid crashes.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Google apps etc. via browser?

”iPhone has its browser crippled.“

How exactly?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Google apps etc. via browser?

"YouTube on Safari is worse than abysmal."

It works absolutely fine. If it doesn't work on your iPad, the issue might be your iPad.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

A pretty good case study for what happens when you actually try to use an Android device without allowing it to monetise you. Even if you've removed all the dataslurping phone-home bollocks, you're still pretty much tied to Google services to do anything useful with it. And using Google services means you become the product.

Sure, it might be technically possible to disable absolutely everything that wants to sell you/your data, but you're left with a beautiful, useless brick if you do.

Broken your new Surface Go 2 already? Looks like it's a bit more repairable this time

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Wifi died on my 2015 HP laptop last week. Broadcom Dual 5GHz/2.4GHz BCM94322MC...

Ah yes, Apple of course being well known as the company selling the Surface Go 2.

If you're still enjoying your 2015 laptop then fair play to you, no need to upgrade for upgrade's sake. It is however, nigh on irrelevant as a comparison here.

Xiaomi Mi 9 owners furious after dodgy Vodafone software patch bricked their mobes

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Identified Root Cause

" in the case of some Apple phones, slows them down to the point of unusability"

No it didn't. Processor throttling reduced performance to avoid a shutdown due to declining battery output, but it never came close to the 'point of unusability' unless your battery was completely fscked, in which case you wouldn't notice the slowdown - because your phone wouldn't turn on.

Xiaomi what you're working with: Chinese mobe-flinger proffers two Redmi Note phablets for UK market

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Xiaomi or I'll sue you

Isn't this the distributor's fault though rather than Xiaomi? If you ordered a Wyze cam, that's what you should have received - not some dodgy replacement.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"Root the phone and remove and/or replace the offending bits of s/w and you will be OK."

Oh it's THAT simple!!! Great!!! I'll just tell my 80 year old gran who was bought this by her relatives because it was 'cheap'. Or our neighbours who haven't a clue about technology but got suckered in by the low on-contract price. Or teenagers who neither know nor care how valuable their personal data is and how it can be used to monetise them, because they just want WhatsApp and Insta. Or harassed parents who want their kids to be reachable so bought them the cheapest Android they could find. What a stupendously idiotic comment.

The fact that it might technically be possible to remove dataslurp does not make it right to let it happen in the first place. And that the Register can't be bothered to mention this is flat out negligent.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: This is more than a little disturbing...

"is a single toggle seeing to turn most of them off in the global ROMs"

And what percentage of the user base will know what to do with a ROM? Or even know what a ROM is? Outside readers of el Reg, a vanishingly small percentage.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: There's a reason it costs less than £350

(a) Purchasers able/willing to root their devices are in a minority.

(b) Out-of-the-box data-snaffling antics still should have been mentioned in the article, even if savvy users can bypass it. Because most won't.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

There's a reason it costs less than £350

Xiaomi accused of recording, sending data of millions of users to remote servers

I was almost surprised that this wasn't mentioned in the article - then I remembered el Reg only bashes Apple.

Patently dogged: Apple unleashes lawyers to slash $454m patent rip-off bill – even after Supreme Court snub

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Were the patents valid, or not?

The answer to this determines whether VirnetX are due any sympathy here at all. If the patents were invalid and they got this far on the USPTO's patently broken system (pun intended), then more power to Apple to use any and all legal avenues possible to get whatever they can. Remember this isn't just about squashing VirnetX, it's about discouraging worthless patent litigation in the future.

If the patents were valid, then I could see the argument here for calling Apple a vexatious litigant.

Realme's X50m is a decently specced 5G phone – for the price of a 1995 Nissan Micra

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Not sure how much a bargain this would be...

"...a proper warranty, EU/UK certification and regional customer support/localisation."

Chinese manufacturers and retailers are starting to take client satisfaction seriously; I've had generally good experiences with Banggood; sending stuff back is a crapshoot but if the value is less than $100 they'll often just send out a new product as long as you can demonstrate it's properly defective.. EU/UK certification is good at the level of this handset, but for some of the ultra cheap stuff you can forget it - they're generically compatible and will work on UK networks but things like localisation, standards compliance and component quality eg chargers leave a lot to be desired.

The biggest issue here isn't the quality of the handset per se - that will be fine. It's the fact that it, the firmware, the OS and/or the apps will try everything possible to scrape every bit of data they can to subsidise the below-cost sticker price.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Not sure how much a bargain this would be...

Banggood will charge you £230 + around a tenner for shipping. You take a gamble on the import tariffs; HMRC stop about 1 in 5 of my packages and I have to pay duty on them; but it's still way cheaper than buying anything here.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

It might retail for £230, but with those specs that's nowhere near what it costs to build. Not a word on how Android 10+RealMe UI will enable vendors to - ahem - 'top up' the difference, eh Reg?

Obviously perfectly happy to knock seven bells out of Apple and insult their customers for paying premium prices, but when it comes to Google/China 'You are the Product' dataslurp... nothing but tumbleweed. What a shame.

Apple: We respect your privacy so much we've revealed a little about what we can track when you use Maps

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: What a Load of BS

"No, Google doesn't sell information about its users."

Yes it does.

"Google monetizes what it observes about people in two major ways:

1. It uses data to build individual profiles with demographics and interests, then lets advertisers target groups of people based on those traits.

2. It shares data with advertisers directly and asks them to bid on individual ads."

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: What a Load of BS

If you’re Google, yes. Apple, not so much.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: If you don't like it...

"That's not how it works - I suspect it's Google that's doing the triangulation if Maps is doing anything. "

There's no reason why phones can't do reverse triangulation on cell towers - they receive signal strength and other data from cell towers in the area including the Cell IDs of the towers; it's trivial to put this together and come up with a triangulated location from multiple towers. Accuracy won't be great (+/- 1-300m/sq) but certainly enough for rough locations.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: The problem is...

"...that if Apple collects the data, they can be subpoeana'd for it (1), given a National Security Letter to demand real-time access to it (2), similary court-ordered forced to de-anonomise it (3) under COVID emergency pretense."

If it can be de-anonymised, it's not anonymous in the first place. Hence all the work that Apple have put in to make sure they don't actually HAVE the de-anonymised data, so it can't be subpoena'd.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: How many times do we need to keep saying this.....

"Anyone that claims this is either lying through their teeth or does not understand how todays technology works."

I suspect you might not understand how today's technology works.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: But the data also shows a little of what Apple is capable of.

It's a complete non-issue. And the headline is juuuuust cynical enough to give the impression that Apple are violating privacy whilst claiming to safeguard it, without actually crossing the line and outright stating it.

But yes. Nothing here worth a story.

In case you need more proof the world's gone mad: Behold, Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Shouldn't act too shocked

A 2k MacBook might conceivably be bought as a status symbol, but a $53k Mac Pro is a working machine. It'll only get bought if it'll earn itself back.

It's the least status-symbolly of all Apple devices.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Shouldn't act too shocked

The computer's appropriately priced for what it is.

From Brit telly presenter Eamonn Holmes to burning 5G towers in the Netherlands: Stupid week turns into stupid fortnight for radio standard

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: limit their communications to good old pen and paper.

"...or stone, a chisel and a hammer"

Stone dust and low level radioactivity from the metal hammer?

Guess what's heading to trial? IBM and its tactic of yoinking promised commissions after sales reps seal the deal

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: The good old days

^This.

I worked at IBM in the Gerstner years; it was a fabulous company. Even when it hit rock bottom in the early 90s, everybody (employees, managers and clients) wanted them to get back up on their feet.

Palmisano continued the journey to a pure bottom-line driven business, and Ginni rammed the final nails into the client service coffin.

Ransomware scumbags leak Boeing, Lockheed Martin, SpaceX documents after contractor refuses to pay

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

"To their slight credit, DoppelPaymer has vowed to lay off attacking hospitals during the coronavirus pandemic."

Excuse me? No credit whatsoever is deserved here.

Please, just stop downloading apps from unofficial stores: Android users hit with 'unkillable malware'

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "and assume root privilege"

On a VLAN I hope? There's no way I'd allow an Android 6/7 device to coexist on my normal network - it's a potential risk vector I just don't need.

2020 MacBook Air teardown shows in graphic detail how butterfly keyboards were snipped for scissor switch

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Apple prices

$1.35tn market cap tells me they've done their sums right and is the literal definition of realistic, in the sense that it's as 'real' as it gets. Whatever their business model, you can't deny it works - and it works because there are a huge number of people who DO find the price/value ratio realistic.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Exactly

A lot of people also don’t realise that if you run a significantly sized business, doing it on Hackintoshes is impractical at best and at worst could put you out of business.

Apple may turn a blind eye to individuals, but companies like mine of 100 or more are likely to get slapped much harder; they tend to want to stay on the right side of the law.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

Yes by all means, feel free to jog on.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

First downvote wasn't from me - obviously somebody else isn't keen on your tone either.

The second downvote WAS from me. Enjoy.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

"Apple sells very expensive equipment that doesn't actually do anything to justify the expense"

In YOUR view. In MY view, I save money, stress and man-hours by buying Apple. I buy judiciously (I have a 2017 base model MacBook Pro and an iPhone 8 Plus, so nothing fancy by today's standards), my family also have iPhones (an SE and a 7) and MacBooks (a 2012 and a 2015), and all have proven to be reliable workhorses, with pretty much zero 'bling'; as you put it.

It works for me. I don't feel I've overpaid for the value I'm getting. Others may feel they get more value from Windows, or Android, or Linux, and I don't tell them they're idiots - I'm sure they're happy with their choice. And yet apparently I'm an idiot for choosing what works for me, and a whinger when I dislike being called an idiot.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

I don’t like being called an idiot for making my informed decisions. If you think this makes me self-righteous, I don’t think you know what the term means.

Apple’s revenue and profit margins are also the single biggest disprover of the ‘idiot tax’ myth. No company grows to that level without selling products that people actually need and find useful.

And your comments coming from somebody who claims to have been involved in every technological breakthrough of the last 100 years, you have a VERY inflated view of your own credibility Jake.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Methinks ...

Yup. It’s inaccurate, puerile and just plain lazy writing, and it pisses me off. As long as El Reg continues to use it, I’ll continue to give them two word answers involving sex and travel.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

” The Cupertino collector of idiot tax”

Fuck off.

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

A fat cheque for a fat Czech.

Apologies to Private Eye

Exchange some currency you want to? Guess the BIOS setup keyboard combination first you must, young Padawan

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Travel Money?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, health secretary Matt Hancock both test positive for COVID-19 coronavirus

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: The emergency regulations...

I'd be interested in understanding more about 2. (a) here.

UK enters almost-lockdown: Brits urged to keep calm and carry on – as long as it doesn't involve leaving the house

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

"...who's point is to ignore the data"

Point wasn't about ignoring the data, was it. FFS. Do you work in Trump's Alternative Fact's Division?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

I'm currently watching "How to Command a Nuclear Submarine" on Netflix - it follows 5 Captains-in-training as they go through the RN training programme prior to taking on their own command.

The single biggest reason for these trainees failing to complete their objectives is 'command paralysis through overload of data' - they are faced with so much information that they need to be able to distill and decide very quickly, and many are not up to the job.

A good leader is able to make a call based on consideration of the right factors, INCLUDING time. Sometimes this means making a judgement call in absence of data, or when overloaded with data; it may not be a perfect decision, but it needs to be made NOW.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

Employers don’t get to decide what’s necessary; UK Gov does. This includes Mike Ashley - hopefully UKGov decides to make an example of him to show what happens when employers take the piss.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: What about the airports?

"This makes a mockery of Boris' attempts to put everyone else under house arrest"

No it doesn't.

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: "One form of exercise a day"

He literally couldn't have explained it any clearer.

If you still don't get it, let me summarise it for you. Stay in your f*cking house, unless you need to get something you need to keep you alive, like food and medicine.

It really, really isn't rocket science.

World's smallest violin to be played for opportunistic sellers banned from eBay and Amazon for price gouging

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: How about supermarkets...

As opposed to the more left- or right-wing breasts, which are much less desirable and therefore cheaper.

Apple updates iPad Pro with a trackpad, faster processor. Is it a real computer now?

Lord Elpuss Silver badge

Re: Yeah, sure.

My laptop (base model 2017 MacBook Pro) has 128GB. It's 'serious' enough that I can run my business from it. Point being: a laptop doesn't have to set the world on fire to be considered 'serious' - 128GB is more than enough for a great many users.

As with all things, YMMV.

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