Posts by DJV

Just look at the state of AI today. Literally, look. There's a report on it – plus more ML news

"Commensurate with their skills in industry"

In many cases the word "Inversely" should be inserted right at the start of that phrase!

Relive your misspent, 8-bit youth on the BBC's reopened Micro archive

Ah...

Those heady days when both computers and software came with thick manuals that explained things properly. Not like today when the most you get is an unenforceable EULA or a PDF written by a 10 year old that first needs to be downloaded from teh interwebs. Sigh...

Microsoft has another crack at fixing Chrome problems in Windows 10

!

"perfectly serviceable web trotter in the form of Edge"

Evidence, m'lud, that Microsoft are a cloud company. Well, still living in cloud cuckoo land, anyway...

Google kills AdWords!

"incomprehensibly convoluted, labyrinthine and confusing messes of an interface"

That pretty much sums up all of Google's interfaces as far as I'm concerned. Bookmarking things is also a waste of time as they change locations far too often.

UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

@Archtech

And there was me thinking they were now part of Europe given their recent appearances in the Eurovision Ear-Torturing Song Contest.

SUSE Linux Enterprise turns 15: Look, Ma! A common code base

Dr Death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZxax-LKpW8

I hope they don't find this site, otherwise a few more are likely to be omitted!

https://sottyreview.wordpress.com/2015/01/04/lucky-and-unlucky-numbers-from-around-the-world/

It's getting more and more Azure'd: For Microsoft, sorry seems to be the hardest word

"Unusually warm weather in Ireland was blamed for the failure."

Or maybe the leprechauns were just holding it wrong.

Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month

@Rich 11

Yep, it all depends on the quality of the "spec" and the ability of a developer to understand the problem from the customer's point of view.

20 years ago I worked in a company that had a developer who was asked by someone else in the company to produce a specific piece of software - the "spec" was verbal only. All this happened while I was on holiday. When I came back she told me that what the developer, who hadn't questioned anything in the verbal "spec", had produced for her was "exactly what I'd asked for" but "didn't do what I wanted".

Indeed, it's as silly as having software not work on a weekend just because the developer only worked Mondays to Fridays.

Oracle's new Java SE subs: Code and support for $25/processor/month

@TheVogon

Where are the <sarcasm>tags</sarcasm>?

Microsoft Edge bug odyssey shows why we can't have nice things

Re: Edge aka Trident 12. No thanks.

I kind of get the vague impression that El Reg is no fan of Edge, either, given that "even the worst web browser on the planet – Microsoft Edge – can open PDFs directly without argument" appears on another of today's articles here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/06/21/how_a_tax_form_kludge_gave_us_25_years_of_pdf/.

@johnnyblaze

"LTSB runs Office fine thank you very much. No app store, no Cortana, no Edge, no live tiles."

What, you mean it's really Windows 7?

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

Ah, Sky logic

So, if you are "experiencing issues going online" how can you "Please check ... https://servicestatus.sky.com"?

Telepathy?

CIOs planning to snub Oracle for other cloudy vendors – analyst

Re: How odd

Indeed, most bullies and bullshit merchants eventually get what they deserve.

Oracle launches its very own 'net threat map

At least...

...New Zealand will be happy with that map!

http://worldmapswithout.nz/

Budget Surface 'spotted' in Microsoft's crystal ball

"four hours fewer of battery life"?

Is it their intention to develop an even thinner device with no battery (life) whatsoever? Sounds like the way to go - at least, if you can't actually turn it on, it won't be able to BSOD (it will just be 'D').

Microsoft will ‘lose developers for a generation’ if it stuffs up GitHub, says future CEO

Re: Gitlab's 10x claims

"The rest will wait until Microsoft actually does something they don't like."

Given Microsoft's previous record that won't take long.

Fingered: Pants-down 'poo jogger' alleged to be corp exec

"Where you chose to shit on the other hand is a personal choice"

I prefer not to shit on either hand, thank you very much!

Hey, Mac fanbois: Got $600,000 burning a hole in your pocket? Splash out on this rare Apple I

Looks in wallet...

...damn, only $599,900 short...

No lie-in this morning? Thank the Moon's gravitational pull

@Tom 7

Absolutelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Re: Climate

Actually, I always thought that climate change was all due to the World Dryer Corporation - I mean to say, people, the clue is in the name!

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

Re: Shite

"They might not fuck it up."

Ha ha! Fat chance (of NOT fucking it up, that is)!

IETF wants packets to prove where they've been, to improve trust

Re: Freudian Slip?

I once drove a Ford Transit and I strongly refute that I am daft!

'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird

"chips in general are now cheap"

Not quite sure that Gordon Moore's own company, Intel, have got that message yet!

Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

Yeah, all very well but...

...can you buy a kit that, along with the camera and microphone, comes complete with:

• a remote controlled taser for zapping undesirables who ignore the "No cold calling" sign?
• a remote controlled trap door that plunges the unwary down into the tank full of underfed sharks with frickin' lasers?
• a (non-remote controlled) fluffy white cat that's content to sit on your lap without throwing up?

This question definitely needs answering!

Smart bulbs turn dumb: Lights out for Philips as Hue API goes dark

Internet of Fail

The IoF strikes again!

TSB meltdown latest: Facepalming reaches critical mass as Brits get strangers' bank letters

Re: Guiness Book Of World's Records

Yes, I hear they are going into the brewery business and are going to attempt to organise a piss-up...

TSB

A Totally Stuffed Bank whose managers appear to be Tiptoeing Silently Backwards, the Terminally Stupid WBankers!

German court snubs ICANN's bid to compel registrar to slurp up data

ICANN

They keep getting slapped but are too stupid to know when to fall down. Sigh...

Headless man found in lava’s embrace

"Most of the populace had evacuated"

I'd've evacuated there and then seeing that rock "head"ing towards me!

Cold call bosses could be forced to cough up under new rules

Re: Split their noses open with a boat hook

I hope you don't mean a plastic straw - let's keep it environmental!

Samsung loses (again) to Apple in patent battle (again). This time to the tune of a mere $539m

나도 그래 Nah, not really...

Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes

I paused my Windows 10 update a couple of years back - my computer's still on Windows 7.

About to install the Windows 10 April 2018 Update? You might want to wait a little bit longer

an hour or so?

"waiting the requisite hour or so for the update do its stuff"

In my experience it's been more like 3 hours minimum! Good job it's not my main PC - that one's being kept on Win7 for the foreseeable future.

Now that's old-school cool: Microsoft techies slap Azure Sphere IoT chip in an Altair 8800

Re: BLOD

What I'd like to know is whether or not saving the Azure is more or less fail-proof than saving to the original tape?

What's up with that ZX Spectrum reboot? Still no console

Re: Social media content

Ahem, cough, cough, uBlock Origin, cough...

Re: Of course, for us oldies, the deja vu is strong ...

Shouldn't that be: "Mines the coat that ought to have a pocket calculator in it, if the damned thing had turned up within the promised 28 days!"

I should add that back in the 1970s I did buy a pre-built Sinclair Cambridge Calculator - I think it lasted a couple of years before going "phut!" The replacement I bought, a Commodore SR-1800, does still work fine!

Still no console

Inconsolable then...

You're toxic, I'm slippin' under: SCL, Cambridge Analytica file for US bankruptcy

"Alexander Nix, appearing to offer up honey-traps, bribes and more to reporters"

Once a devious crook, always a devious crook.

I hope they find a way of locking all the Cambridge Analytica directors up...

Open justice FTW! El Reg fought the law – and El Reg won

"Truth! Justice! Freedom! Reasonably Priced Love! And a Hard-Boiled Egg!"

And unlimited rice pudding!

NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Re: There is nothing like:

So, basically, they just re-invented the hammer drill!

BT bets farm on consumers: Announces one network to rule 'em all

Call Centres

PHB: Let's outsource the call centres to save money.

Replacement PHB (18 months to 2 years later): Uh, oh, people are complaining about the call centres. Let's bring them back in house.They were costing too much so it will probably be cheaper.

Next Replacement PHB (a further 18 months to 2 years later): Hmm, outsourcing our call centres will save us money.

Next Next Replacement PHB (yet another 18 months to 2 years later): Oh dear, complaints, complaints, complaints - that really wasn't a good idea. We'd be better off running them in house.

Repeat ad infinitum...

Africa's internet body in full-blown meltdown: 'None of the above' wins board protest vote

Blimey!

Are they actually more incompetent than Nominet? Wow!

Southend Airport tests drone detection system

Re: Trafalgar Square

Provided the crow doesn't hit a drone on the way...

Delayed gratification for Musk's rocket fanciers

“ground system auto abort”

Someone forgot to light the blue touch paper?

Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

"Stick to the OS GUI's way of doing things."

Hmm, if only that were true when targetting Windows - do you use the XP/Win7 way, the utterly "innovative" (ha ha) Win8 way or the total free-for-all/it-will-probably-look-different-next-week mess that is Windows 10?

Windows app makers told to think different – you're Microsoft 365 developers, now

And there was the line "allow Cortana to make proactive suggestions"

ugh, sounds like Clippy sneaking back in through the rear entrance...

Commodore 64 owners rejoice: The 1541 is BACK

"far more reliable"

Only for certain values of reliable...

In the mid 1980s I had an early plastic C128D and the internal 1571 suffered from data corruption when side 2 of a disk was used. Using relative file access was also beset with problems, causing programs to crash out with "?device not present" errors (which, for some reason, couldn't ever be trapped). Commodore initially denied there were problems (in an attempt to avoid replacing the drives) but they eventually fixed most of the bugs with updated ROMs.

Windows Notepad fixed after 33 years: Now it finally handles Unix, Mac OS line endings

@big_D

" I logged a bug in J++, it still hasn't been fixed... They just killed the product instead."

Please log as many bugs for Windows 10 as you can!