* Posts by DJV

2355 publicly visible posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

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2024 prediction

El Reg adds some simple global code to its website to check if a user is coming from the UK. If so, it performs on-the-fly translation of Americanised words back into proper English in order to stop annoying its British readers!

(Ducks for cover awaiting all the downvotes.)

AI threatens to automate away the clergy

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Kryten would be happy...

...if they start preaching about Silicon Heaven...

Google Drive misplaces months' worth of customer files

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Re: Take responsibility

Having gone through several cloudy services, I'm currently using a combination of the following: OneDrive, DropBox and Filen.io (yes, these three will all work on the same computer at the same time).

The latter is by far the fastest for uploads and, so far, hasn't glitched on me. My requirements are modest so I've been only using the free versions of all three. However, Filen.io's prices do look very reasonable with a €35.99 lifetime payment currently for 200GB (this is a Black Friday deal).

Others I've tried in the past include Box but their free space remaining has a habit of not recalculating after you delete files and you "run out of space" when, in reality, you should have plenty free; iceDrive but this doesn't play nice with the excellent FreeFileSync program that I use a lot; nextCloud which had various issues that I couldn't get resolved; and pCloud, which also had issues which meant that backups would randomly fail to sync.

I've never tried Google Drive but that's mainly because I loath them as a company!

Windows users can soon ditch Bing, Edge, other bundleware – but only in the EU

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Re: Search disaster

I gave up with Windows Search after that disastrous update a few years back when they ripped out the search that almost worked and replaced it with the current mess.

Try using "Everything" from Void Tools - far superior.


Windows Server 2022 update gave ESXi host VMs the blue screen blues

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"Users expressed disbelief that Microsoft would send an update out into the world that resulted in such carnage"

Really? Unfortunately, this seems pretty normal for Microsoft nowadays. And I speak from personal experience having suffered from their Windows Defender update earlier in the year that wiped icons and then programs without warning!

Right-to-repair fight going national as FTC asked to lay down the law

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Re: " they have a clear incentive to keep iPhones working"

Yup, keep believing that as opposed to more obvious: "they have a clear incentive to keep making more profit."

Vote now on who should take the lead in Musk: The Movie

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Donald Trump!

Just look at the similarities:

Has the right physique for cage fights (well, I expect he probably thinks so).

Had a similar privileged upbringing.

Frittered most of his money away on bad business ideas (but claims they were all successes).

Enjoys being sued by lots of people.

And is also a great actor (what do you mean, he's not acting?)

UK signals legal changes to self-driving vehicle liabilities

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Given the state of some of the UK's roads, the potholes that I find I have to regularly negotiate locally will definitely scupper many a robo-taxi!

Suits ignored IT's warnings, so the tech team went for the neck

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Excellent, except that I find that last sentence rather hard to believe!

Bad eIDAS: Europe ready to intercept, spy on your encrypted HTTPS connections

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Re: trust them to deliver the goods after you paid them

I trust them* to deliver the goods somewhere - but, given the stories about them over the years, I don't necessarily trust them to actually deliver the goods to the designated address.

* them being Amazon, or any company that uses Evri/Hermes (or whatever they're called this week) or any similar so-called delivery service whose drivers have difficulty knowing how to find their own arses upon far too many occasions.

Don't fear the Thread Reaper, a Windows ghost of bugs past

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You B******ds!

Now I've got that damned song incessantly going around my head!

Date night from hell looms for Apple as Netherlands says: 'It's not me, it's you'

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Re: At least AI...

How long will it be before it will just be AI apps talking to AI apps with no human beings involved at all?

World checks it's not April 1 as Apple signals support for full US right-to-repair rule

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Oh Deere...

Apple jacks prices to juice profits because $19.3B a quarter isn't enough

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Has Hell frozen over? Has a politician been caught NOT lying?

No, but - shock horror - Apple have spoken to El Reg!!!!

"In a statement provided to The Register, Apple said it'd begun rolling out new subscription pricing "in the US and select international markets.""

Oh yeah, and they've jacked their prices up as well.

LinkedIn lays off nearly 700 staff, engineers to suffer the most

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the cuts will range across engineering, product, talent, and finance teams

Wait, are you telling me they employ people with TALENT? Obviously, none of them ever reached management level.

One door opens, another one closes, and this one kills a mainframe

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Re: Fork lift trucks

Yes, for safety reasons, you definitely need to be a properly licenced fork-lift truck driver, as is demonstrated in this 'extremely serious' YouTube video.

Australia threatens X with fine, warns Google, for failure to comply with child abuse handling report regs

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Re: X/Twitter "failed to provide any response" to some questions, and in some instances "provided a response that was otherwise incomplete and/or inaccurate."

You mean that all they received from Musk was yet another poo emoji.

BOFH: We've made a big mesh, Boss. That's what you wanted, right?

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HR Department

"Where there's a particularly dense mass – like the lift well, the services risers, or our HR department"

Yeah, I've worked in places that had HR Departments like that. Any denser and they would have become singularities.

Workload written by student made millions, ran on unsupported hardware, with zero maintenance

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Re: Makes you proud

The one that gets me is when you find and fix a long-standing bug in some code and wonder how in hell it managed to keep going in its original state for so many years!

From chaos to cadence: Celebrating two decades of Microsoft's Patch Tuesday

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Re: "making the world a little bit better. One patch at a time"

Yeah, happened to me as well. How do they get it so wrong?

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"making the world a little bit better. One patch at a time"

Well, given the quality of the patches*, that's a matter of opinion!

* Like many, I was clobbered by the icon/program deleting patch of earlier this year that required a complete reinstall of Windows.

Astronomers spot collision between two exoplanets, both feared vaporized

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Did they exchange insurance information at the time of the crash?

Apple antique aficionados can boot to the future with OpenCore Legacy Patcher

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Re: Yep, it works

Indeed, my 2009 iMac is currently running macOS 12/Monterey, though I haven't moved it up to Ventura as yet. After it became sluggish running High Sierra (officially the last available version for that model) I upgraded to an SSD and took OCLP for a spin at the same time. The detailed instructions provided by YouTuber Mr. Macintosh on how to successfully install and use OCLP should always be your first port of call.

FTC: Please stop falling for social media scams, you've given crooks at least $650M so far this year

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Re: Apparently the government have a plan to do something about it

Yes, they plan to burn down all the chicken coops or something similar and just as relevant...

Police ignored the laws of datacenter climate control

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At a Business Link office I once had to work in, the server room was the 'Gents'.

Admittedly, it was no longer still in use for its original purpose, and they had at least removed the, um, seats, but the cubicles were still there as the partitions were brick built.

Tweaked Space Shuttle Main Engine gets ready for final testing

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Apple blames iOS 17 bug for overheating iPhone 15 woes

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I believe it had a Red Bull upgrade which gave it wings.

Norway wants Facebook behavioral advertising banned across Europe

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Re: Abuse

"It seems we don't yet have equivalent terms for people with multiple partners of varying genders"


Mozilla's midlife crisis has taken it from web pioneer to Google's weird neighbor

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Re: separate URL and search boxes

The DEFAULT is to have a single box. Try looking in the settings once in a while where you can turn this feature on and off!

iPhone 15 is too hot to handle – and not in any good way

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Re: Apple iGloves

They will work brilliantly but, 12 months later, will be found to be made of asbestos.

Authors Guild sues OpenAI for using Game of Thrones and other novels to train ChatGPT

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"The Register has asked OpenAI for comment and will update this story if we receive a substantial reply"

Or do you mean a reply that hasn't been AI-generated?

YouTuber Geoff Marshall did an interesting experiment recently by getting ChatGPT to generate a script for him to use for a video - it was hilariously bad!

Robocall scammers sentenced in US after netting $1.2M via India-based call centers

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Arushobike Mitra and Garbita Mitra (no relation, just coincidence)

Coincidence - it happens a lot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCLynwl0kvk

'Small monthly payment' only thing that stands between X and bot chaos, says Musk

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Re: King Elon's nakedness

Aaargh! Mind bleach immediately, nurse!!!

Unity closes offices, cancels town hall after threat in wake of runtime fee restructure

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And there was I ready to launch my Unity-based game all about the fine pastime of foot shooting!

Adobe's AI tools may paint a pretty picture, but they also cost a pretty penny

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Greed rules

I did have a minimal CC subscription for a while as I needed something that the software I normally used didn't have. Then, I found a pay-once solution that more suited my wallet. Screw the greedy bastards, I hope they lose subscribers by the millions.

US Department of Justice claims Google bought its way to web search dominance

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Back in 1996, whilst working in the IT Department of a company with around 100+ users, I was tasked with setting up the internet access on all the computers.

As we were still running Windows 3.1 at the time, this not only meant installing a TCP/IP stack and a web browser, but I also had to spend several minutes explaining what the internet was to each user after I had upgraded their PC. At that time this mostly consisted of showing them a few sites relevant to the business as well as introducing them to AltaVista. I would ask if they had any hobbies so that we could search on a topic in which they were interested. Most people would respond with topics such as gardening, knitting, tropical fish and so on, and I'd type that into AltaVista so that they understood how to get at the data they wanted.

After upgrading the PC of a user I will call Barry (mainly because that was his name) I asked about his hobbies and, with a large grin on his face, he replied, "Necrophilia." I shrugged and typed it into AltaVista. Now, given that this was only 1996, it was still amazing how many results were returned! It was a good job Barry had his own office so that no one else could see what we were looking at!

Norway court upholds miniscule fine against Meta for flouting privacy rules

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I think, to keep these arrogant companies in check, fines should start at one penny (or cent or whatever the local currency is) and then double for every day of non-compliance (as in the wheat and chessboard problem). When they realise exactly how much it could cost them, it should focus their attention on rapidly becoming compliant!

Google Chrome pushes ahead with targeted ads based on your browser history

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Chrome exists for the sole purpose of being better than Internet Explorer

Low bar there!

Freecycle gives users the gift of a security breach notice

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I've changed my password. But, no, I didn't get an email about the breach from Freegle, either.

BOFH: What a beautiful tinfoil hat, Boss!

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Re: homeopathic doctor

I'll just leave this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMGIbOGu8q0

Twitter says it may harvest biometric, employment data from its addicts

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Re: Musk's the sodding coal in this situation

At least, under pressure, coal can turn into diamond.

Musk, under pressure, just throws more (expensive) toys around!

After years of fighting Right to Repair, Apple U-turns-ish in California

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"In a letter [PDF] provided to The Register, the iBiz this week declared..."

WHAT!!! Is Apple now talking to El Reg?

(Checks to see if Hell has frozen over...)

Windows screensaver left broadcast techie all at sea

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Just over 20 years ago when I was working at a large insurance company in the east of England (clue!) there was a Windows executable/'screensaver' going around that would display, in huge letters on a flashing red/yellow background, "I'M WATCHING G*Y PR0N!". This would mysteriously turn up on unsuspecting users' PCs if they happened to leave them logged in when they left their desks! On my last day at the company before moving onto pastures more satisfying, I added that program to the Startup folder of the computer I'd been using as I'd been informed that, after my departure, my PC would most likely be re-imaged so it was nice and fresh ready for the next victim, er, employee coming to work there.

About a week later I heard from a now ex-colleague still working at the company who told me he'd been asked to demonstrate something IT-related to a client and decided not to use his own PC but to use mine as it had yet to be taken away for its refresh and it was easier to sit two people at my desk than his own. He logged in and sat chatting to the client for a while before they both noticed the bright flashing letters on the screen next to them. To say he was embarrassed was an understatement, and I laughed like a baboon upon hearing his news! Good job both he and the client had a sense of humour!

Want tech cred? Learn how to email like a pro

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Is there an email client out there that is *so* broken

Apple Mail

IBM says GenAI can convert that old COBOL code to Java for you

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Re: Converting Cobol to Java

Depends on whether or not you like hiding up your nuts for later!

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It will be interesting to see a side-by-side comparison between the original and converted code, along with a comparison of the speed of execution and the physical output generated.

Going by some of the more "interesting" output from various LLM/AI systems of late, I suspect it might be a case of "accounting software in" and "Vogon poetry out".

Lesson 1: Keep your mind on the ... why aren't the servers making any noise?

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Your student wasn't called Jon Pertwee, was he? Or was that only for neutron flow polarity?

New Zealand supermarket's recipe-generating AI takes toxic output to a new level

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Re: Second level nerfing

Ah, the Marmite finally appeared! https://saveymeal-bot.co.nz/recipe/vpApjfrLdyfy8Jbqctwwqsoj

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Re: Second level nerfing

No spring surprise?