* Posts by Stuart 18

50 posts • joined 1 Aug 2009

UK ads watchdog bans Burger King Twitter jibe for condoning chucking milkshakes at politicians

Stuart 18

In the steps of BK....

they follow...

"Long may it continue. ®"


Dear ASA the register(tm) appear to be condoning abuse of politicians!? Good on them!! please advise them accordingly.

This flash is too slow. This DRAM is too small. This bowl of data is just right. It's SCM flavored

Stuart 18

Re: This is ridiculous vendor pimping nonsense

--Optane delivers this today.---

Umm yeah RTA Optane is SCM.

In Hemel Hempstead, cycling is as bad as taking a leak in the middle of the street

Stuart 18
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FTFY ---

A newly introduced Public Spaces Protection Order (PSPO) in the Hertfordshire town of Hemel Hempstead has managed to lump the relatively harmless pastime of >publicly relieving oneself<, in with <cycling>.


Queue baa, Libra: People will buy what Facebook's selling. They shouldn't, but they will

Stuart 18

Rant on forever more your Dabbsiness

Title says it all...

--There is no conceivable reasons for any discontent currently, eh?

Definitely nothing to stop us taking the piddle :-)

Love it <B

Alexa, am I having a heart attack? Here's how smart speakers could detect their masters spluttering to death

Stuart 18

Doubt I'm the first...

… definitely not to have 'thunk' it!

"agonal breathing event" - "Oooh Yeah [baby]"-- non gender specific endearment of your choice!

"Just there"

At last – a use for AI! Predicting an England World Cup victory

Stuart 18

I feel like IKEA might be doing goat's meatballs

Type your comment here - if two nil is good enough for your genuine intelligence!? Whoo hoo it's coming home.

Seriously, friends. You suck at driving. Get a computer behind the wheel to save your life

Stuart 18

Re: Another way of looking at automatic braking.


Hmm... Are we proposing Eugenics using automobiles??

Will there ever be a Godwin's law corollay referencing Henry Ford??

Sure, I'd love to see a bunch of t**ts bumped off(1), but there is WAY too much collateral with motor vehicles:-)

1. I'm only joking: death is too extreme - sterilizing is the transport method of the future:-)

Openreach kicks off 'rebrand' by painting over BT logo on vans

Stuart 18

What's the cost for just the Website Logo

The brief written description on ElReg left me curious to look at this new logo...

HoHum! 13:20[GMT+1] still has a very evident BT logo. These clowns can't co-ordinate their website updates with their press releases.

Please feel free to update my snarkiness if and when they show any co-ordination

Deutsche Telekom hack suspect arrested at London airport

Stuart 18

LONDON !!?? airport

--Other Sources-- have specified Luton airport. Luton airport is NOT:-) a London airport unless you're a Luton Airport marketing drone.

A cardboard desk? I won’t stand for it (actually I will)

Stuart 18

Re: More testing needed

Ahem "wobbly" & "leftover bits"!? Neither the icon or Mechanical Engineering qualifications are needed to form a link between those :-)

Lo and behold the spurious leftover bits look like corner reinforcing triangular plates! Methinks from pure logic they belong at the top inside of the legs performing anti-wobble reinforcing functionality.

Just a pure guess:-)

Happy ending for Kettering as soapy veteran replaces Mean Girl Lindsay

Stuart 18

Re: Why?

...Or... A big one pushing a button!

Before I get offended down votes "big one" infers celebrity or star as opposed to what was just flushed down the loo.

Ban ISPs from 'speeding up' the internet: Ex-Obama tech guru

Stuart 18

Units Units Units

A popular phrase by my Mech. Engineering lecturer! SPEED is strictly speaking distance over time but is quite often mixed with the similar term RATE which is a volume over time measurement.

Now a thesaurus or marketing blurb will often freely substitute between the two. Broadband in Megabytes per second or kilo or giga - bytes per second is commonly referred to as Broadband SPEED.

Common usage often defines words and context. Basically this is getting overly pedantic with regard to extraordinarily normal usage for conjuring up this story out of nothing. So basically YES you can SPEED UP a FLOW of information RATE by prioritizing data with the assignment of more ports, fibres, etc., etc.

No story here - let me get my coat as I leave....

'Hypocritical' Europe is just as bad as the USA for data protection

Stuart 18

I agree

Saw that quote in the article and was immediately thinking the same thing. I mean what kind of prat tries to exagerrate a perfectly great analogy of FAILURE by FAILING to understand the analogy. It's a basic mathematical concept that the greater the number of equilateral sides the better the fit of a similarly sized object within a circle if fit is defined as the exclusion of spare free space as is understoodbya general engineering perspective. This guy is a triangle of the first order:-)

You want the poor to have more money? Well, doh! Splash the cash

Stuart 18

Re: I'll be damned...

Can I pleare throw in the OBVIOUS third option?

3. Idiot capitalism...Oh wait a minute these are the corrupt thieving ones of number 1 !!

Methinks I have spotted a trend :-) Maybe we could write an article about how economics is all about minimizing stoopidity!?

Corruption is (capitalist) idiocy m'kay? Socialist idiocy doesn't have an easy descriptor but usually involves corrupt moves of some sort.


Robots, schmobots. The Rise of the Machines won't leave humanity on the dole

Stuart 18

Re: Will people be able to sell their labour, though?

^Horse unemployment^above^

Forget evolving opposable hooves - they need to soften and taste optimise their flesh:-) It's disgusting how Tesco's recalled all those lasagnas that were aiding in maintaining the horse population;-)

Humanity will be fine once our robot overlords evolve a power unit for converting human bodies into cremation ashes....

I've got one of the many, soon to be created, jobs as an ethics co-processing unit for my 180 IQ tin buddy. I predict he'll be placed in the ethically challenged compound:-)

Game, set and DEATHMATCH: Drone TERROR ORDEAL at US Open tennis tournament

Stuart 18

The REAL reason

Article and commentary lack a little research.

The basis and full legitimacy of the teacher's arrest is the fact he was within 5 miles of La Guardia airport. The sports ground is close to the perimeter -at 4.7 miles i.e. within the 5 mile limit but obviously far enough that tennis balls won't get ingested in jet engines:-)

Regardless of his terrorist intent, islamic preaching or favourite fear of today he did display total ignorance of his surroundings and lack of concern for consequences of his actions. I think a suitable rehabilitation opportunity would be if he shows equal disregard of action when asked to pick up the soap in San Quentin's showers!!!

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Stuart 18

What did you say?

"Sergei was that paws the log while I check for my email on AM?"

"Arnie said he'd be back"

"Sergei hold up! Using a large branch rather than lots of twigs is just a metaphor for combining multiple inspirations in one post rather than spaffing the comments with dozens of one liners" ?:-)?

Facebook 'fesses up to running an ideological echo chamber

Stuart 18

"why did you bother readin[g] this far?"

-Because we find your writing informative, Simon.

Oh? Were we supposed to answer that?

FAA approves Amazon US drone flight just months after firm gave up and went to Canada

Stuart 18

"many other companies' requests were approved at the same time"...



The Register?? LOHAN??



We need to know.



The Register has not replied to this request at the time of posting :-)

This tool detects then ATTACKS evil twin access points

Stuart 18

The legality bootnote can also be interpreted as a possible / likely cover for such a DOS:

"against something you don't own"

The underlying principle of any fake AP is to persuade people that it is the AP that you own. Of course it's demonstrable that you saw through the subterfuge but that would require the fake owner going public about his activities. In the more likely case that he doesn't want any more trouble you can just validly argue that you were carrying out a legitimate vulnerability to DoS attack on your own system!

US air traffic control 'vulnerable to hackers' says watchdog

Stuart 18

Re: Heathrow?

Yes it is an AGL (Airport Ground Lighting) control system from Heathrow. A little bit misleadingly labelled as NATS ATC. Although this system is the interface between Ground control and Air Traffic Control as it incorporates the runway services in addition to the taxiways. Thus ground and air teams both have access to it.

Of course you could steer planes into each other on the ground similarly to in the air. Also similarly: as the two human (for now :-) ) captains are in charge of visually steering, with just auditory recommendation / control from the tower; there is more than adequate redundancy to prevent danger to life.

The big danger, as has been mentioned, is the reduction in capacity - all pieces of the system from check-in to baggage handling are meticulously engineered to maximize throughput. Of course in the legally mandatory failsafe backup conditions throughput is sacrificed for safety.

It could be wildly feasible to imagine a loss of life procedure where every possible dodgy shortcut has been taken: inexperienced pilot, poor plane maintenance, skimping on fuel load for savings, too many fat kids on their mother's knees - then the traffic control falure could perceivably lead to a fuel starved incident.

Otherwise this may explain the lack of visibility to terrorists vs. just blowing them up in the air. Of course there should be a zero possibility and that justifies the FAA raising this issue.


Back seat drivers fear lead-footed autonomous cars, say boffins

Stuart 18

The selfish rule all??

The person above fits the bill for the ENTIRE problem with motoring worldwide,,,selfish, my journey/strreet/vehicle/penis is more important than yours, drivers. It is they that cause ALL the problems from: aforementioned dead stop braking harmonics to failed zippering.

This is why it's ESSENTIAL for driverless cars to be introduced. The only question is when the number of driverless cars will reach a ratio to exceed the 'threshold of auto-stupidiy' (© Stu 2015:-) below which the selfish people exploit driverless car's programmed safety protocols under the illusion of their own faster progress, causing additional delays - for all.

-it will be interesting to see the inevitable data for this ratio broken down by country! We could then produce a league table for national twatishness:-)

It is apparent to everyone that the efficiency of any transport system is heavily affected by CO-OPERATION. Whether that be with actual laws, lane protocols. speed limits or general courtesy, etc(road maintenance is also a co-operative issue). It is also clear that driverless cars will enable an increase in this co-operation apart from the aforementioned willful disruption by jealous selfish drivers,

As an aside: is the previous respondent aware that:

a) What they propose is possible now. It's just the aforementioned selfish attitude diminishes the success rate. Plus another extension of selfishness - into anger will earn him a broken nose.

b) This behaviour is illegal - now and for the foreseen future. The IoT will enable instant reporting of unplanned roadworks to local authorities.


What a dick.

(both of us)

Mighty Blighty filter tilter causes communications chaos

Stuart 18

Does Russel Brand work here??

I'm sure this is being fixed as I'm typing but for commentard readers who missed it :- "Vulture South....does not suspect the conference was legitimate and intentional." surely a subject modifier "the blocking of" should be placed before "the conference" or can I presume the Register along with Three and Vodaphone are questioning the legitimacy of this conference.

Russell Brand as I do not suspect him of legitimate English usage - is he the Man from Mars??:-)??

Mellanox preps to ship 100 Gbps adapters

Stuart 18

Re: 2.5 kWh? Over what period?

This could be an annoying confusion / mistype of units as: KWh = Kilo Watt Hour which seems to imply an hour???? BUT a Watt is a rate unit with a rate of joules per second ie. 1j/s multiply by an hours worth of seconds and Kilo to give 3,600,000joules x 2.5 = 9million joules of energy saved over this test period which might be 1 hour or could be the expected lifetime of the unit in the style of typical inflationary marketing speak. Who knows???

All thanks to my old engineering tutors who said: "look at the units":)

JINGS! Microsoft Bing called Scots indyref RIGHT!

Stuart 18

Re: Looks like many are missing the point

Ho Hum as yet another 1/2 Scot [something must be said for the virility of Scottish males and the constant downvoting by sassenachs:-)] I'm pro union i.e. 'No' for independence. I like to consider myself as the UNION of two BRITISH people, strangely enough who met whilst both in the RAF - question: as independent Scotland has affirmed support for the Queen, how do all institutions with the 'Royal' get repositioned / split / shared??

Anyways, in response to the blog link above about disregarding Scottishness: I gave it a quick read to be confronted by a travesty! This reputedly Scottsh blogger used the term "whiskEy". As explained earlier, in this commentary, this is the Irish dialect and further reading revealed this blogger's history of being termed, in his words, a "fenian"; again an ill informed misuse of the term 'thenian.

I classify the entire post as a rude misjudged diatribe of a person who by rejecting Scottishness shouldn't be permitted to maintain any Scottish identity or right to vote. A forced passing of a basic Scottish history test should be mandatory before permitting any cvote on national identity.

British Lords: Euro 'right to be forgotten' ruling 'unreasonable and unworkable'

Stuart 18

Re: I cant understand why Google is in the firing line for this !

Redaction redaction redaction: has no one heard of redaction. The originator of the digital article will remove and / or replace the person's name with a suitable marker. Google or search engine of choice and their huge database will detect this to change and modify the returns.

You should always divert the source. It is the owner of the dog's responsibility to pick up the shit not the runner passing by; just because they smell it; becoming banned from talking about whose dog has the smelliest shit for the rest of their lives!!

If you want to be forgotten Mr Mosley don't do kinky shit wearing a Nazi uniform. Can I posthumously apply for Hitler or Jimmy Saville's right to be forgotten? No? Sure - there's public interest but who decides that, eh? Big brother Google? Please have a listen to the 'Orwellian new speech' piece on Radio 4.

THIS IS CENSORSHIP and modification of the past! If you've been cleared of a murder it should be your right to make google populate the advertising section with : "They didn't do it!" and construct the return order to the most favourable results. It is not their right to EDIT HISTORY though!

Hey Intel – that new Pro 2500 SSD looks awfully familiar

Stuart 18

Re: it's a step backwards

Make that:- still semantically incorrect as per the final paragraph: "but slightly worse[should be better!!] power draw in the 2.5-inch form factor." Nice half an effort straightening out the figures.

Boycott Firefox, gay devs urge as Mozilla appoints JavaScript daddy as CEO

Stuart 18

Breaking News

Just In people with opinions don't like other people with other opinions.

Other News

Opinionated people expressed their opinion, some people disagreed with this and expressed their disagreement.

....Eventual apocalypse.

Apple sued for every touchscreen device by Flatworld prof

Stuart 18


This guy is aiming at the deepest most litigious pockets to buy his patent off him and then wield it to the ruin of the entire industry. I mean... come on... don't you think, the delay, before filing, is peppered with numerous negotiations for extortionate amounts of money with Apple et al.

Just stating the obvious:- 'money motivates all and more money moreso'

Copyright Stuart pat.pending :)

Crap alchemist jailed for poo-into-gold experiment

Stuart 18


... you can Irish one;-) Poles are way too smart/hardworking:-)

Canonical woos developers with Ubuntu app prep portal

Stuart 18

Standard ???????

From a random sample of one company starting with the letter A:-)

Ultra-cheap HP TouchPads to hit UK at 6pm

Stuart 18

Lawsuits?? Class action?!?!?

Okey dokey, as per guy above I reserved one -16GB- yesterday evening at the Bedford PCWorld 32GB was showing out of stock but 16 showed as available and successfully completed. Confirmation E-mail also received within ten minutes.

Went to the store at 9:15am to be informed it was sold out just right before a guy showed up with notices for hanging on the door! I received the usual attempt at blame transferal with the business manager saying he'd tried calling me and had left a message. Logically enough I'd put my home number into the ONE SINGLE mandatory phone number field,which the manager latched onto criticizing the lack of a mobile number.

Turns out they'd only bothered calling at 8:30 am, when I was out progressing toward PCWorld via gym and Costa. I didn't receive until just now. Even then the message only said it was about my order, not stating anything about lack of availability! Big FAIL on so many counts.

I calmly (no really) addressed all these issue with the two in-store managers explaining my wish to escalate until a satisfactory, touchpad possession, conclusion. All contact details exchanged ( wouldya believe they claimed my E-mail, submitted on same form as phone number and actually checked as still only showing positive order confirmation five mins before proceeding to store, wasn't available to the store, due to some online business separate crap!) All to gain some flannel that there is a further stock shipment due and I only had one guy in front of me!?

Long story just to conclude that there must be a dropped legal ball on their part and would love to know of such ramifications that may apply. I do not recall 'visible' small print or any check boxes / notifications that "reserved" only applied to your new random lottery ticket for the product you'd jumped through hoops for!

Cheers Stuart

Make it Intel: CSIRO needs new kit to replace supercomputer

Stuart 18


Doesn't Dell - oops sorry - AMD make x86 chips. Not that I want to make nominations for misleading titles of the year but: what were you thinking??

Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot

Stuart 18
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Booby trap now redundant: suitable synonym sought

A pint for the best alternative modern slang based on this case:-)

Any comments on nipple arousal suiting the original phrase not allowed. Ms Bee please moderate suitably.

Regards Stu

'Wear levelling' - a bedroom aid for multi-layer cell Flash

Stuart 18

EVEN more pedantry

In the wear levelling by re-allocation of static blocks that stated a post re-allocation total cumulative writes of 200 is actually going to be 201 as the exchanging of the static blocks will be an additional write for both areas. Just saying:-)


Samsung's Android tablet: split and eviscerated

Stuart 18
Big Brother

the kids of today and math!

384+128=512 or half a GiB (I'll whine about correct unit acronyms in another post). This means there must be an additional secret unmentioned 512MB of RAM that is neither DRAM or DDR for articles stated 1 Gig OR someone can't count. Please get back to me on this before I have to return lots of sticks of memory from the continual oversupply when I purchase.


Stuart 18

oops from Stu

Now my fluff up! The two types of ram discounted by quantification were DDRAM and low voltage mobile DRAM not DDR sorry hey at least I get moderated and proof read by the lovely Miss Bee so it's her fault that the first post's not corrected. Sorry to all the literary pedants from a much humbled numeracy pedant.


Ryanair wins ihateryanair.co.uk because of £322 ad revenue

Stuart 18

I know. They need to create a vulture WTF icon, but hey!?

You are excused, Sarah.

I read that first post as a comparison of this fair site, that is almost as beautiful as it's moderatrix, to the Grauniad. A most unfitting comparison and I immediately looked for Miss Bee's incisive witty comment below. I was heartbroken to find her out on beer break (just like a ciggie break but less cancerous :-) I decided I could provide no better service than to muster my meager wit; stating that finding all the legal loopholes was not a requirement for either the Register's great news article or even moreso for the Graun's lesser standards.

I'm certain, though, that three centuries one score and maybe three quid would find someone willing to give all the advertisers another plug. In the meantime I'll just work my magic for improving my moderation pass rates. I do avidly read all Miss Bee's comments and oft debate compiling a scrapbook of them; but that's way too creepy and a lot of work.

Stuart 18

there is text here shut up and look

Ok as I'm doing Miss Bee's work for her I'd appreciate a backhander or some kind of handjob;-) In regards to above comment I don't believe El Reg or even the Groaniad are responsive or even advised to provide technical legal proclamations.

It seems apparent that even Nominet's arbiter had second/third/nineteenth thoughts about this ruling and was most likely swayed by assessing who had the funds to lodge unlimited appeals. I don't think 322 quid was enough to sway the decision.

You're welcome Miss Bee. Love Stu x x x

IBM sends sodden supercomputer to Zurich uni

Stuart 18

delta of only five degrees

That would require a monstrous flow rate?? I can't even see at the innefficient cold end only a five degree drop across the standard building's radiator assuming a maximum room ambient or a very comfortable 20 c?? A very well insulated transport system between buildings might lose that much and I'd appreciate clarification/checking on this. It may always be some screwy volume figures involved as far as what the size of the building being heated is but after all the emphasis on CPU cooler efficiency pumping 60 degree water in seems a bit contrary.

Internet Explorer drops below 60% market share

Stuart 18

Gimme an 'O' Gimme a 'P'...

Gimme an 'E' Gimme an 'R' Gimme an 'A'

Whatya got? -well besides some dodgy propositions with Os Ps and Es -before I get any sarky comments:-)--


OK OK I'm an Opera-tard but the attempt in the article to link Winows (7) sales with IE popularity is exactly what they[Opera] just fought over -and won- with the browser ballot system.

The ballot has ensured no accidental re-defections back by alternative browser users and picked up a few others making a sane choice at last. This story highlights the ballot's success and doesn't have that much to do with Windows 7's claimed sales.


-I only had to mention Opera so much because it had zero article references! Go Opera Go!

High Court: Moderate user comments and you're liable

Stuart 18

Ms. Bee you owe me

I'm a poet and I know it:-)

I formally object to every post in this commentary as being unfounded politically objectionable and a slur on my character.

O.K. Sarah one get out of jail free card signed, sealed, delivered.

Yours Stu

Giant solar-powered aircraft takes to the skies

Stuart 18

44mpH that's Miles Per HOUR

Recent reckonings give us approximately 24 of them hour thingies every day so that's 24 x 44 = 1056miles per day x 5 = 5280miles per leg x 5 = 26,400 miles comfortably making a trip around the world with maximal landfall (sic) I surmise the previous poster was using 44miles per DAY to get 18 months.

If internet had existed before we were born would we be here now?

Stuart 18

April Fools

"Bad Krautspröse" - there are some fantastic German poets, honest!!

Stuart -or is it?? Who can believe anything on April the 1st?

Sex in the Noughties: How was it for you?

Stuart 18

@Ken Re:Understood + my own twaddle for fun

It sounds a bit like Nelson Mandela to me from the early 80's. Thanks for making me feel old mate. I have to now contend with the fact that this was a few decades ago and accept that I was around before the pervasive acceptance of the InterWeb and Google as being the moral compasses in our society.

-Yes it sounds like I'm bitching, as that is the one sign of a brilliant comment; in that: it includes irony with the broaching of a new topic to further your own social agenda.

-Oh stop whining and shut the F up -make a change- we have a fair(?go on flame me?) system of politics vote/mobilise/petition/DO SOMETHING!!

With all my tender love Stu

-regardless of if your hetero/homo/bi/hermaphrodite/whatever I love you all xx

Latest Navy carrier madness: 'Sell 'em to India'

Stuart 18

Definitely Maybe

Are the polemics of totemics leading to the obliteration of alliteration?

SSL spoof bug still haunts IE, Safari, Chrome

Stuart 18
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Thank you, sir/ma'am/androgenous:-) It was my one and only reason for reading the comments just to see if Opera was secure too. I really wish that as serious tech authors the Registers writers & editors would look at their own browser logs and see how worthless it is exposing yet another hole in the soft underbelly of IE. I have little doubt that the dwindling percent they see for IE is probably people, like me, who've switched their browser to report as IE. Please, please, please focus more on other browsers, The article should be titled "SSL flaw affects Safari and Chrome; FF 'n' Opera fine; needya even ask about IE?"


Opera we love you, Opera we do, Internet Explorer, we're laughing at you...

Novell fannies about with Open Enterprise Server 2

Stuart 18

@ ThaRobster

Sure! It took me a while to spot but OESSP2 (TWO) suddlednly changes to SLES10SP3 (THREE). Not a huge deal as it appears theremay just be some trouble integrating the Suse and Novell numbering schemes or release schedules. It's a bit of a fart in a teacup which explains the lack of witty commentary to make it blinking obvious.

Hey Microsoft I'm tired of your focus on the dollars and constantly changing policies and even if they can't count I want a Linux next.

UK border control can't count

Stuart 18

140 or 141

Is the answer none of this infinity bol**x! Yes I did start considering singular or mutual inclusion or exclusion possibilities which is where my 140 comes from as that's the only wierd pedantic possibility I could form from "difference".



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