* Posts by Wind Farmer

66 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Jul 2009


PC makers REALLY need Windows 8.1 to walk on water - but guess what?

Wind Farmer

Re: It's not that hard to see the problem

Just think how bad the sales numbers would be without the replacement PC sales arising from organisations finally beginning to move from WinXP... This long-deferred investment (akin to the pre Y2K splurge) must be propping up sales, but I bet most organisations are looking to install Win7 and avoid Win8/8.1

Oracle's Ellison outlines plans for Hawaiian Electriclarryland

Wind Farmer

Just enough....

power to print Oracle's annual maintenance renewal invoices and water to seal the gum on the envelops?

US boffin builds 32-way Raspberry Pi cluster

Wind Farmer

Re: Err: rpi00-rpi32 = 33

If you examine the accompanying photo, each node is numbered rpiXX, where XX is in the range 01 to 32, inside the enclosure. There is also rpi00 on top of it. Better?

Wind Farmer

Err: rpi00-rpi32 = 33

Please explain node rpi00 outside the enclosure.

Red hot chilli peppers floor Bristol shoplifter

Wind Farmer


Because he wanted to start a wind section of the orchestra

LG making thin screens possibly FOR THE NEW iPHONE

Wind Farmer

Recent Reg News...

Didn't you recently point out Apple being granted a patent for this tech? Would be a brave, lawyered-to-the-hilt company that would be involved in making this for anyone else, unless they've already licenced the tech.

Apple iPad fondlers are about to enter a THIRD DIMENSION

Wind Farmer

Pr()n uses?

Who'll be the first to send pictures of their finery to iPad toting girls, hoping that they will use their fingers to pull off the 2D pic?

BIG BOOBS banished from Linux kernel

Wind Farmer

Re: Oh noes 0xDEADBEEF

Err, did that in some Nortel documentation about 20 years ago. The full text was 00D3 AD 8EEF I55A FE70 EA70, or thereabouts.

Larry Ellison buys island 1000x bigger than Branson's

Wind Farmer
Black Helicopters

Just about big enough for his ego

You missed your own link to the previous Gates investment: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2000/07/12/gates_buys_piece_of_pineapple/

Hope Larry retires soon and doesn't bother anyone, but no doubt he'll downsize the island's population, in his typical acquisition mode.

Smoke-belching flash drive self-destructs on command

Wind Farmer


I mean, it's not cutting edge now, is it?

Austrian village considers a F**king name change

Wind Farmer

Fucking - Twatt


See step 39 for orientation.

Wind Farmer

"ing"to indicate settlement?

It's a village isn't it? Shouldn't it end in "dorf" then?

That of course, would mean changing the village's name to FUCKDORF. Those signs will last, won't they?

Demon Currys iPad showered kids with HARD-CORE smut

Wind Farmer

Anti-Darwinian action?

How could this dim irresponsible being have polluted our gene-pool with 3 offspring which have a 50% chance of being as dim. That's a 1:1.5 fan-out of dimness (on average).

Wind Farmer

Dim but....

Must be kind of cool to have a mum that can slowmo click her fingers and take a whole 10 seconds to do so. Will there still be the clicking sound at the end?

Dubstep ringtone wins Nokia compo

Wind Farmer

Elop -> Flop -> FAIL!

No real prospect of hearing it in the wild tho' being as it will be the mating call of an almost extinct beast.

iPhone 5: Apple 4S, pundits 0

Wind Farmer

I say one thing....

Remember MSX? It was a supposedly good idea, borne from a common platform and implemented by numerous suppliers. Did it last long - I don't recall that it did, partly because the ones that the electrical store stocked were usually the wrong make or model, or just plain out of date.

Boffins invent miracle pill that counteracts effects of booze

Wind Farmer

Pub-crawl Smarties

"Just the ticket" for getting into the next pub and doing a pschyco Begsbie on the guy downstairs, because you want to start a fight. (Maybe you need to have seen Trainspotting).

Yahoo! fires! CEO! Carol! Bartz!

Wind Farmer


Must be the lowest-profile tech (ex-)CEO.

Boffins build powerful yet 'table-top size' atom-smasher

Wind Farmer

Never seen a table-top disco...

but have witnessed loads of girls that will dance on a bar.

Better ATM skimming through thermal imaging

Wind Farmer

If it wasn't for the dumb-ass ATM users that queue ahead of me.......

(this would probably slow them down even more than a 1-finger typist on downers) but I recall 10+ years ago that the keypad for entry to an office I worked at had the digits re-order on every use, so the key that used to be 1 would become 0,2-9 / 2 would become 0,1,3-9 / etc. Then you actually had to see what the values were at the time the keypad was used (only illuminated on scanning of id card).

Chic USB drive leads double life as personal vibrator

Wind Farmer


Surely, the storageless model is the solo (handy for going solo)?

As for the possibilities of storing your resignation letter on it and telling your boss to stick it up their arse, that seems interesting......

Nokia launches new corporate font

Wind Farmer

One for the Irish?

Love what runs down from the top right corner (that of Seamus and you'll get it).

Samsung UE55D8000 55in net-connected LED TV

Wind Farmer


It looks like the tv designers used AutoCAD, and the remote 'designers' blocked out their 'design' by colouring in cells in an Excel spreadsheet (I doubt it was crayons and graph paper, but who knows).

How can such a good-looking tv have such a minging remote?

Nokia DC-14 bike charger

Wind Farmer

C5, electric and transport device in one post?

So obvious, but suppose someone had to point it out.......

DEC: The best of systems, the worst of systems

Wind Farmer

VAX bad?

You, sir, have a rather peculiar sensibility, that I cannot bring myself to concur with (*)

VMS, DEC machine code, Assembler, JCL and Ultrix were my best friends back in the day.

* : Downside was seeing a VAX (I recall it being an 11/750) swapping out its VMS Swapper, thereby requiring a hard restart.

Scripting to rename my user process to a preferred (not currently chosen) Process ID was also standard practice. Being a Marillion fan, "Warm wet ()()()" was first choice.

'Air laser' tech could sniff bombs, probe atmos from afar

Wind Farmer

How is this meant to be deployed?

If it is necessary to energise "a cylinder of air just a millimetre long, situated at the place to be scanned, and turns it into a gas laser aimed back at the scanner", how do you place the cylinder beside the point to be scanned? And move it to the next point? And are there issues with ensuring that it is aligned in a manner that aims it "back at the scanner"?

Man killed by own cock

Wind Farmer

Black and red feathers?

So not a purple-headed cock then?

Yank fires up iPhone-controlled beer cannon

Wind Farmer


And now they need [to invent] a device to stablise the fizzed-up beer can, which would otherwise spew its contents on opening; and produce one for each of these idiots.

Senior Guardian hacks turn on Assange

Wind Farmer

Bootnote question

Were the other veg cooked more to your liking?

Russia wins World Cup bid in parrot-sickening travesty

Wind Farmer

Thiefa, Mafia & Cattarh?

Blatter wouldn't know a ball that crossed the goalline if it was one of his own.

Seagate DeLorean: World's priciest hard drive?

Wind Farmer

Back(up) to the Future?

'nuff said.

Start-up pitches low-cost no-glasses 3D for iPad

Wind Farmer

Orientation issue?

Can it really cope with the device being rotated for portrait to landscape?

Apple throws a wobbly over Steve Jobs dolly

Wind Farmer


How about a fuzzy-faced, polo-necked and brown jacketed doll?

Tech firms warn Ireland on bailout

Wind Farmer

Not even 12.5%, due to tax loopholes

It has been suggested that atleast one large multinational is paying very little tax in Ireland, due to adopting complex company/tax structures and Irish tax loopholes:




The forgotten, fat generation of Mac Portables

Wind Farmer

Apple's have always been over-priced

Go back a further 5 years and you could have had an Apricot Portable for much less. I used one (albeit it was my father's). See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apricot_Computers

HP files webOS tablet trademark

Wind Farmer

Hasn't hurt IBM/Lenovo either....

seem to recall there's been products kicking around for years called thInkPADs. What's Jobssy's claim to the name? Tw@!

Windows 7 Backup gets users' backs up

Wind Farmer

Are you serious?

Really? Quiet day in the office, or for real: 1 story with Fok & Hell as lead characters!

2012 Olympic mascots cop a shoeing

Wind Farmer


The type of tat that is soon to be transformed into shiny foil/plastic inflatable balloons in some East Asian sweatshop, ready for inflation and the relief of obscene amounts of parents' cash to satisfy the whiny desires of young visitors - well, until they let them float of into the path of a passing aircraft. Ashcloud permitting (of course).

Microsoft wants pacemaker password tattoos

Wind Farmer

On " the patient's leftmost foot "?

So, unless they've had their left foot amputated, that would be their left foot then?

Online retailers cannot deduct delivery fee when making refunds

Wind Farmer

A question

What happens when the consumer wishes to return an item included in a purchase of several items (either different items, or a reduced quantity)? Is the delivery cost refunded in full, pro-rated, or something else?

Spanish city shuns Brit 'Saga louts'

Wind Farmer


Something we can all aspire to as we age and make the move from the grain to the grape.

Full-bodied, yet slate-dry humour, from Casa de Lester.

Home Office to secure mobile phones

Wind Farmer

Crime stats

Weren't we promised 5 year terms for those prosecuted for nicking a phone? Is the CPS soft, or was it just spin by the government?