* Posts by ThaRobster

14 posts • joined 29 Jul 2009

Megan Fox not world's sexiest woman: Official

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What, were they polling the people in Ann Summers buying ball-gags?

Seriously, she's ok, right up to the point where she starts talking.

McAfee offers cash for clunkers

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Bill yourself for your time, write a nice looking receipt, argue with yourself a while, maybe haggle the overall price down, agree to absorb the VAT yourself, reach an agreement, stick said receipt to the fridge, delay paying it for a few days, call yourself up to see what happened about paying you, apologise and blame your bank and swear it'll be there in the next few days, put a cheque in the mail, but with instructions not to cash it till friday, receive the cheque in the mail on thursday and take straight to the bank, avoid the cashiers eye as she explains to you that you don't have the funds in your account to pay the funds in to your account that you're trying to so the payment has bounced, call yourself from outside the bank and have a shouting match about there not being enough money, complain you told yourself that already and now you'll get charged for the bank bouncing your cheque, explain you have to be paid today as you have a wife and kids to feed, call yourself a liar, ask how you know, say "I live in the same house as you", hang up, call police to report a suspected stalker / squatter, get arrested for wasting police time, pay your own bail and call it quits.

Then submit the receipt to McAfee with a note saying "You have no idea the trouble this has caused me...."

Naomi Campbell bitchslaps NY limo driver


In all fairness...

In fairness to her, if I found myself in the back of a Cadillac Escalade, I'd have to punch the driver, although admittedly there are easier ways of getting the message across that the shonky prospector wagon-esqe suspension is making you feel sea sick. Like yakking over the back seat. At least it'd make the interior decor somewhat more bearable.

Sex.com goes titsup


Sounds a bit like...

"To participate, bidders must deposit $1m in escrow, however."

Dear Valuable Website Person,

I have come into in my possesions a greatest website name! We want to trade with you because of your great reputations! The fantastical web address name could be yours very soon, is good!

Please deposit $1,000,000 with our super-reliable, not fraudulent at all escrow company as a sign of good faith and we can deal! Yes!

Kindest regards,

King Juan N'zimba, Nigeria

World of Google zombies mistake news story for Facebook

Paris Hilton

What does assume do?

You're assuming of course, that these people have sufficient intelligence to attract a partner. Or at least a partner with a smaller waistline than themselves.

Paris, only because of the lack of "Fat-bird-from-Shallow-Hal" icon.

And yes, I'm aware of the irony.

Street View catches Finn with his pants down

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"....or indeed, if you'd prefer, to rock out.....with your cock out...."

Red Dwarf's Kryten exposes iPhone number


@Adrian Jackson and James Melody:

I have no idea who you both are, but wilfully inventing Space Corps Directives to make yourselves look clever is an act of war. Ergo we surrender. And as prisoners of war I invoke the All Nations Agreement article number 39436175880932/B.

Brits take iTablet moniker for 12in iPad rival



"But the iTablet runs a full-scale, multi-tasking OS: Windows 7."

So the picture showing it running Windows XP with IE6 is wrong then?

Google Chrome OS - do we want another monoculture?

Black Helicopters

Aren't we forgetting something?

Didn't / don't most of us (by that I mean IT professionals) spend a good deal of our working lives, regardless of whether it's our job to or not, helping users / friends / family to keep their computers free of spyware? Software (virii) which steals their information and passes it to people who probably want it for the sole reason of making money out of it at any cost?

With that in mind, how many of us would seriously recommend a system where all your information is held centrally by a large corporation who make their money from putting adverts which are as specific to you as possible in front of you? They already track how people "move" online to target adverts better, what is to stop them trawling the data which users (and according to one comment farther up, rather worryingly, Government Departments) are WILLINGLY giving them? Seriously, why wouldn't they? It's their business, it's what they do, why pass up the opportunity to charge more for their advertising service?

I don't like Microsoft or Apple much either, but seriously, Google is taking the concept of "evil" to a whole new level.

At least with Microsoft / Apple, I know I can always secure my private documents permanently, all I need to do is pull the network cable. And guess what? The computer will still pretty much have all the same functionality it did before, which is significantly more than what Chrome OS sounds like it will have.

Blind gamer sues Sony


Ooh, precedent!

Now I can sue car manufacturers for not making a car blind people can drive!

El Reg launches 'Comment of the Week'


Say what?

I would like to find out more about this product, but there is no way in hell that I'm typing "Liquid Filled Camel Balls" in to Google whilst I'm at work!

While we're here, can I request that box cover as a new comment icon? This is the nearest I could find, although the alt text "Suck On This" is quite apt.

Additional: It turns out that the spell-checker bundled with Google Chrome which activates on comment boxes like this, doesn't know the word "Google". Not self-aware quite yet then.

Almighty rumpus in Swedish lesbian enclave


@Hollerith 1

But don't you find the Chinese reporting amusing?

Usually this kind of this is reported in the Reg anyway, lesbians or no.

Like it or not, though, some men will always laugh at things like this.

Left to their own devices, it's probably all they'd do in fact.

Don't just dismiss this as comedy at the expense of lesbians though.

Yes, lesbians are involved, but I'd see it more as poking fun at Chinese news

Kicking Xinhua while they're down, so to speak.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion though.

Novell fannies about with Open Enterprise Server 2



Did I miss something? I missed something, right?

Aussie woman's toilet trauma prompts lav-overhaul call


Flip it around

Am I the only person here who read the article and came to the conclusion that the only way she could wedge herself against the door with both feet down the sides of the pan and be able to drink from the pan or cistern was that she was sitting on it the wrong way around? I.E facing the cistern, not the door.

Either that or she fell forwards and face-planted the door.

I have no idea who the icon is, but it looks a bit constipated, maybe he was next in the queue?


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