* Posts by Return To Sender

176 posts • joined 27 Jul 2009


Not too bright, are you? Your laptop, I mean... Not you

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Re: Floppy solution

Our misdeed, if such it was, was using the Norton hex editor (this was when you could actually meet the guy and the utilities were genuinely useful) to change the internal commands in command.com. No checksums or anything awkward like that so you just overtyped the characters and wrote back to disk. Handy number of 4-letter commands to work with...

One of our corporate customers' support guys (good drinking buddy) got wind of what we were up to and did a rather more SFW version to defend against some of their more curiosity-driven/careless end users.

NASA signs $1bn deal with Northrop Grumman to build studio apartment in lunar orbit with room for 3 vehicles

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Astronaut taxi service?

I can hear it now...

I had that bloke Bezos in the back the other week, wanted to know if I thought it'd be worth setting up a Martian doorstep delivery service. So I says to him "Nah mate, won't get a look in there, bloody Martians have got it all sewn up. You should see what they want for a cabbie licence, criminal I calls it. And they gets preferential use of the saucer lanes anyway so there's yer profit margin straight out the airlock. And that bugger Musk got in first with delivering a vehicle for type approval so all the cabs have to come from Tesla, looks ok but you try finding a charging point that's working this side of Phobos..."

Pentagon scraps $10bn JEDI winner-takes-all cloud contract

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Yeah, sure...

> Microsoft focused "on our customer, and not politics or litigation,"

Amazing how virtuous you can be when you won the damn contract. Bet you many $ that had the contract gone the other way there'd still be the litigation, just with a different name attached. sed 's/Amazon and Oracle/Microsoft/g'

Roger Waters tells Facebook CEO to Zuck off after 'huge' song rights request

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Re: Worth ?

I'd happily start by kicking him

EE and Three mobe mast surveyors might 'upload some virus' to London Tube control centre, TfL told judge

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Re: Does this not happen in the UK? Building owners aren't compensated at all?

Most likely it'd be a wayleave. This is probably the relevant bit of info:


FCC urges Americans to run internet speed app to counter Big Cable's broadband data fudging

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Re: Excuse my ignorance but...

Won't downvote, but will comment that the speedcheckers I use (speedtest, broadbandspeedchecker et al) all report in Mbits.

Broadband providers just can't get out of the habit of bending truth in to a pretzel.

Spotify to introduce lossless audio streaming: Better sound or inefficient gimmick?

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Re: nobody needs to spend £100 per metre of cable

13A UK mains flex (not solid core) does the trick. Saw it used (carefully hidden from the eyes of the great unwashed) at an audio event for some pretty serious (read expensive) kit. Had a bit of a chuckle with the guys behind the stand about it, their professional take was that cable thickness/no. of cores was the important bit unless you run unfeasibly long lengths...

Yahoo! Groups! to! shut! down! completely! on! December! 15!... Tens! mourn!

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Re: I wonder

Y! made it pretty difficult to get info out of the groups even when you owned the group. As mentioned elsewhere a lot of active Y! groups migrated to groups.io, in our case mainly because it's one of the few that still support email-only operation and we (still) have some very web-averse members...

There was a lot of traffic on the groups.io forum around Y! groups whose owners had either disappeared, or weren't interested. Y! were completely unhelpful so there will be a lot of active groups whose archive will basically be lost.

After huffing and puffing for years, US senators unveil law to blow the encryption house down with police backdoors

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Re: stupidity out of ignorance or avarice

Never come across the expression 'rich beyond the dreams of avarice?'

Even better, call them venally avaricious and I suspect you're close to the truth... Aren't obscure words fun?

RetroPie 4.6 brings forth an answer to 'What do I do with this Pi 4 I bought last year?'

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Ta for reminding me about the TI99 - sold a fair few of those back in the day, along with the likes of the Commodores (VIC20, C64), BBC Micro (A & B), Dragon 32/64, Oric, NewBrain... Much tinkering needed, probably in part why I have a fair few rPi hanging about in case I feel the need...

5G signals won't make men infertile, sighs UK ad watchdog as it bans bonkers scary poster

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Re: Infertility - maybe not such a real problem in this day and age

Surely you'd need two bricks to cause male infertility? One in each hand and bring 'em together rapidly...

BOFH: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and the ransomware struck

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Re: A what USB stick?

A useful piece of plausible jargonese guaranteeing that the director won't have just any old USB stick, thus allowing BOFH to slip in the key logger.

AFAIK 'class' does indeed only exist in the world of SD cards

Who knew? Fabric access NVMe arrays can work with Spectrum Scale

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Re: "lossless Mellanox Ethernet"

Sigh. Yes, regular Ethernet is potentially lossy. No, gold plated cables won't help 'cos there are so many other funky ways and places that frames could go missing (like cheap switches that can't support all ports flat out at wire speed).

Lossless Ethernet is intended to guarantee frame delivery so's you don't have to add in things like error checking and retransmission further up the stack. Different animals.

Los Alamos National Lab fires up 750-node RPi cluster

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Re: Pi flavour?

Full sized Pi:


Intel raises memory deflector shields in Xeon E7 processor refresh

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Where's my S/360?

Old farts corner. TSX; my first reaction - it's a variation on Storage Protection Keys. There ain't nuthin' new under the sun, son...

And SPK has been there ever since.

Google's new scribble-tab-ulous handwriting interface for Android

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Handwriting in schools

I'd be curious to see if there's any research comparing the (rate of) development of fine motor skills in young children between handwriting and using a keyboard. It's at least partly the lack of those that produces the 'spider on acid' effect, so maybe there;s a spin-off benefit?

Eyes on the prize: Ten 23-24-inch monitors for under £150

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The BenQ Gl2450 (#3). 2nd sentence, first paragraph:

"Most useful of these is the ability to rotate the screen 90 degrees to portrait mode"

Just thought I'd point it out :-)

HAWKING ALERT: Leave planet Earth, find a new home. Stupid humans

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Re: Flaw

Possibly because 1) dragging weapons-grade nukes with you to Mars etc. might get a few people asking questions in the first place, and 2) getting to the point of being able to mine & refine nuke fuel once you're there probably isn't going to be top of the list of priorities for an new colony?

Guess you'd also have to hope the colonists have a bit more common sense to work with as well. Or maybe that we'd have worked out how to colonise other places apart from Mars, so that there's a chance of at least one colony (and thus humans) surviving.

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@Gordon 10

Because naming & shaming in public is so much more fun?

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Spot on. Have an upvote. If you're going to be careful anywhere, do it with the headlines, First two comments (three with this one) are about the grammar - says it all, really. From the context of the article it should be 'lose' (something I've posted about before on ElReg, btw).

Lightbulb moment for visible light networking: 200 Gbps without a fibre

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Re: What's the use case for 100 Gbps wireless?

As a callow youth I used to think on the same lines. Started networking with sub-Mbps networks, where yeah, faster would be nice, through Mbps, then 4, 10, 16Mbps (spot the tech), and by the time 100Mbps appeared it was 'why would you want 100Mbps to the desktop?'. Same sort of question with 1Gbps, of course.

The answer is generally that most people, to begin with, don't need the higher bandwidth. But eventually, the ability to push high-bandwidth stuff around means apps appear which do exactly that. Then there's a killer (or at least ubiquitous) app that everybody uses and suddenly the big bandwidth connections start making sense.

Actually, I suspect what makes more of a difference is not so much the bandwidth as the improvements in stuff like latency, which tends to make the 'feel' of things that bit nicer. Kind of an intangible for most end users. Add in rapidly falling cost and a decent bit of backwards compatibility and it's just easier to put the new stuff in. As I think others have pointed out, the headline speed is more of a hook for marketing; fairly pointless unless you also develop the techniques to exploit it fully.

These days, I try not to think in terms of "what's the current use case?". If I can get the tech at a sensible price, the use case will probably turn up in due course, In the meantime, if all the extra tweaks improve my current usage, then that's a bonus to me.

Elon Musk snowed under with Googley dollars for Space Internet

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What the f**k has a still from the execrable version of War of the Worlds got to do with this story? Not sure if I've had too much or too little alcohol at this point to find the answer. Bloody El Reg random image selector. Grumble, mutter, mutter...

Apple v BBC: Fruity firm hits back over Panorama drama

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Units, dear boy...

"Furthermore, a metric shit ton "

No, no , no; "Furthermore, a metric shit tonne".

You're welcome.

El Reg Redesign - leave your comment here.

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Ah, respite...

Well done chaps, starting to tone it down. It's surprising what just darkening the side bars does for you, isn't it. Now all we really want is for the font sizes to be dropped a wee bit; that should increase the overall text density on screen and help to bring down the impression of burnt-out retinas.

Pics; still too big. And frankly, just plain pointless at times. And a banner ad above the Reg masthead? Why? In the name of any four gods you care to name, why? It just looks silly, as well as wasting vertical screen real estate. Put tower ads down the empty space at the sides or something, maybe.

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Re: Expensive!


Think you've missed the point of many of the comments - fix (or set a maximum for ) the width of individual articles by all means - once you're reading them. That's fine, for the reason you state.

However, on the front page, each article link is already constrained within its own container (essentially an 'n' column table (or grid if you prefer), whatever the markup used to achieve it). Allowing the value of 'n' to vary with the screen width is not that complex, frankly, and would allow more article links to be displayed. Which is highly desirable, given the larger text and wider spacing around the article links now which has reduced the number of articles visible at a glance.

And just to add another voice to the 'too much white' theme running through the comments, El Reg - it bloody hurts with all the clear space on the page. Way too bright. If you must keep this new theme (please don't), at least knock the background colour down a notch or two, even #fafafa would help.

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Consultant. Somebody mentioned a consultant?

Why do I get the horrible feeling that Bong's behind this...?

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No. No, doesn't do it for me

First up, it would have been nice if you'd posted an article at the same time as pushing out the change so I didn't waste 20 minutes trying to work out what I'd done to my browsers

Second; there's a huge amount of wasted space on my main screen. Either make the page aware of what it's rendering on and use the space accordingly, or don't bother. And please don't make the header pic a third of the screen, it's pointless and irritating. I read the articles for the information, it's not a picture book fer chrissakes.

Third; not opening the article in a new tab? That's so basic I can't believe it's a deliberate design choice rather than a cockup, kindly fix it forthwith (edit: ah, it changes from black to a dark grey. Didn't spot that on the screen set the way it was. Grey. Really? C'mon...)

Fourth; what have you done with the 'visited' CSS so's I can see which articles I've already read? I use that sometimes as a fast-scan when looking for an article, not to avoid the article.

Fifth; article spacing on the main page; too much. I'm spending far more time scrolling up and down than before, it's a pain. And if you've got to have pics for the article, leave 'em in the rotating banner, or on a mouseover or something, don't throw another another possible row of article headers away just to look exciting and funky (or whatever).

That's from five minute's worth of browsing, so first impressions. But I'm concerned that as it stands it's not going to grow on me. The value of El Reg to me is the content, not the presentation so much. By all means make changes, but please don't lose sight of what people come here for. We enjoy the tabloid humour, since by and large it's not accompanied by tabloid-level journalism; let's not have the tabloid presentation style suited to limited attention spans for people who struggle to reach the end of a sentence, let alone a whole article.

Independent inquiry into British air-traffic-control IT nightmare

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Political PHBs

Obligatory knee-jerk reaction from people who know sod all about the subject but think they need to be seen to be on the side of the poor old travelling public. Politicians should obliged by law to keep their mouths shut until they've had it explained to them with pictures and short words exactly what happened and why they shouldn't overreact.

There may well be areas where more money could be usefully spent, but it'll never stop something like this happening; all systems are fallible. It's how it's handled that matters, and in this case nobody died. The disruption (or length of it) could have been reduced if the major airports weren't running so close to full capacity, but that's a different argument for the politicians to get excited about / duck depending on where their constituencies are.

Sink your teeth into OCZ's ARC 100 SSD sizzler with tasty home-grown chips

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Re: OCZ Reputation

Talk to insiders and you'll find out there were some horrendous bugs in the firmware / silicon. The new stuff's subject to vastly more rigorous testing. Their biggest problem is going to be getting past the crap reputation they've gained (deservedly) over the last few years.

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Re: Dear father christmas !!

No way Santa's emptying his sack in to my stockings - that's what Mrs. Santa's for.

Violet, you're turning violet! Imagination unveils graphics-tastic hobbyist board

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Re: "The Ci20 will cost $65 (US)/£50 (Europe)"

'Johnny Foreigner can't buy gasoline (petrol) from the pump in the USA.'

If you have more time to waste, try leaving the car at the pump, going through the queue to get pre-authorised, getting back to the car to realise that you've parked with the filler on the wrong side and the hose doesn't reach, getting back in the car to turn it around, grab the hose again and then realise that the authorisation has timed out, meaning you've got to do the whole thing again. This at a Wawa in Collegeville, PA, where the counter staff just randomly walked off leaving the queue wondering...

Sick of the 'criminal' lies about pie? Lobby the government HERE

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Re: Accept no substitute!


That would be methadone, then. I, personally, have never fallen asleep eating a pie ('real' or 'fake') but have had some slightly surreal experiences from one.

Ref. Denis Healey describing Geoffrey Howe as 'mogadon man' in the house of commons.

Suffering satellites! Goonhilly's ARTHUR REBORN for SPAAAACE

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Re: half and an hour? And bring back the barbeques.

And if you've made the effort to get to Goonhilly, Ann's Pasties is only about 8 miles down the road in Lizard village of course.

DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

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The one thing that briefly raised a smile the day after my dad died; fielded a junk call at Mum's:

JC : "Can I speak to Mr. M..."

Me: "Only if you know a damned good medium - he died last night"

JC: "Ah.. Err. umm.. *Embarassed silence*"

I really like to think that the old guy managed to ruin a junk caller's day with that one.

Moment of truth for LOHAN's servos: Our US allies are poised for final test flight

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Also trialling...

I shall be watching the tracking action appropriately adorned in a rather fine T-shirt that arrived in the post not 24 hours ago - Cheers!

Son of Hudl: Tesco flogs new Atom-powered 8.3-inch Android tablet

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Re: Cheap enough

I have a mini fridge to keep the beer cold (or the soft drinks when I actually need to keep a clear head). A bar would take up just a little too much space to be able to maintain the impression of it being a working space and not a hideaway...

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Re: Cheap enough

@kmac499 - nice idea, but I'm ahead of the game already. Got the hi-fi set up in the garage, there's an old desktop mini-PC for the 'net feeds, WiFi router with a wired connection back to the house network, DAB/FM radio connected to the amp and a floating 3.5mm cable for the occasional MP3 player / whatever connection. Oh, and a dartboard. Also now have a spare DVD player at the moment, just need to persuade the commander in chief that we need to upgrade the house telly so's I can retire the current one to the garage. Not going so well on that front though.

Sometimes I even work on my motor vehicles in there...

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Cheap enough

Hmm. Big/hi res enough and cheap enough (especially with Clubcard) for me to finally get hold of the tablet I keep thinking would be handy for the workshop manuals in the garage...

Getting to the BOTTOM of the great office seating debate

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Re: Want one!

Now there's an idea. Sod office curling, we want office Formula One!

Data entry REAR-END SNAFU: Weighty ballsup leads to plane take-off flap

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Re: Wouldn't happen in the States ...

You get Air Midwest flight 5184 instead.


Sadly this one ended up tail heavy. Add in some dodgy outsourced maintenance and you get dead people.

Broadcom reveals $20 'Pi in the sky' IoT development widget

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Here y'go


And I suspect the press release reprint is 'cos nobody's got one yet. 'Leastways, they seem to be on an 8-week lead from Mouser. Piqued my curiosity just enough to do the search, though.

Tesla trademark spat threatens Musk's China dream

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Re: Poor Nikola

Linked to from other articles IIRC, but anyway:


Virgin Media goes titsup AGAIN. The cause? Yet MORE DNS strife

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Re: "Super" hub ?

'When I first got one, I immediately went into the settings, to setup DHCP the way it needed to be.

Couldn't do it. It forces the IP address of the internal network - you can't change it'...

Eh? Much as I dislike the firmware on the Superhub, and VM's support (at least until you get escalated to the UK guys), you're wrong on this point.

You can set a non-default IP (I use a 172.*.* range instead of the default 192.168.0). The DHCP server only gives addresses within its local subnet, but that's no big surprise. I don't use it, 'cos I want a bit more stuff delivered by the DHCP server so I've got a full DHCP server running on my NAS box (was running on a RaspberryPi but I 'repurposed' the 'Pi). Same way as the NAS runs my primary DNS, so I don't hit VM's DNS service anyway...

Down-with-the-kidz Apple stuffs up with wild 'funness' claims

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Stop making up stupid words?

And if they can stop 'em doing that, they could go on to make water run uphill, the sun come out at night and make a politician do something genuinely useful with no self-interest.

I'm not going to even *try* to inject street-smart comments here. The whole point of 'yoof-speak' is to be incomprehensible to anybody out of their teens, and I'm so far past that point I can't see it with a big telescope.

Fearful of the drone-filled skies? Get some protection

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Ah, the missing component...

... to add to my garden-shed EM pulse system. Let's see 'em keep the bastards in the air with fried electronics. Still a tad concerned about collateral damage, though; maybe I should look at frikkin' lasers. Anybody out there breeding flying sharks yet?

SEA hacks Reuters website widget DESPITE 2FA security

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Presumably in this case works out as double F**k All...

Soccer Football in SPAAACE! ISS 'naut nails zero-G bicycle kick

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Draw straws.

When the ball gets accidentally kicked in to the orbit next door, who has to go and ask for it back?

Damn you El Reg, Call me a Boffin, demands enraged boffin

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Re: Reaching out

Onboarding; waterboarding for the soul. And waterboarding is exactly what should happen to anybody using 'onboarding'.

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Full marks...

Having now peer reviewed Dr. Oren's complaint I believe he has presented a convincing case, and I applaud El Reg for responding with a correction in a timely fashion! Go boffins!



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