* Posts by Christopher Blackmore

51 posts • joined 23 Jul 2009


Locked up: UK's Labour Party data 'rendered inaccessible' on third-party systems after cyber attack

Christopher Blackmore

Interesting. They still have my email, though I left yonks ago. Not happy about that.

Astroboffins peep at the largest orgy of galaxies banging into each other

Christopher Blackmore

Re: The odd random thought ....

Don't assume space is straight...

Prominent Brit law firm instructed to block Brexit Article 50 trigger

Christopher Blackmore

"... in spite of the popular vote to leave the block."

52 to 48 isn't a "popular vote". It's a draw, near as damn it.

E-borders will be eight years late and cost more than £1bn

Christopher Blackmore

That old myth again.

The £22 billion these tourists bring in goes to billionaire hotel chains, tourist souvenir chains, and the like, who promptly offshore their profits so they continue to pay no tax.

Server retired after 18 years and ten months – beat that, readers!

Christopher Blackmore

Not a server, but...

There's a monumental mason near us that does all his designs on a Windows 3.1 box.

Yes, GCHQ is hiring 1,900 staffers. It's not a snap decision

Christopher Blackmore

Vital because...

Making sure they know about everything I do online will ensure they catch foreigners plotting against us.

Openreach to trial G.fast in Swansea

Christopher Blackmore

Meanwhile, in other parts of Swansea...

On a good day, when the string the signal comes through is really wet, Birchgrove, Swansea, can get up to 2.5 Mb/s, but it's often down below 1 Mb/s.

Quantum computers have failed. So now for the science

Christopher Blackmore

"People didn't believe in flight until Orville and Wilbur came along."

Yes they did. Powered flight was first achieved in Chard, Somerset. Look it up.

6 Obvious Reasons Why Facebook Will Ban This Article (Thank God)

Christopher Blackmore

This one reason why I don't care will amaze you!

I got rid of my FaceBook and LinkedIn accounts.

Orwell chap snaps in Amazon paperback claptrap yap rap

Christopher Blackmore

Nobody at Amazon understands English.

If anyone at Amazon had reading comprehension skills better than a five year old, they would have understood that Orwell was saying that paperbacks were such a great idea that he was surprised the hardback publishers didn't try to get them banned.

Today's Facebook fury: Coppertone-like baby pic ban baffles US mom

Christopher Blackmore


One of the reasons I closed my FaeceBook account was that although they very strictly forbid pictures of earwax, they were quite happy for some trolls calling themselves MarihuanaMakesYouViolent, or something equally stupid, to use a picture of the aftermath of a terrorist bomb, complete with detached limbs, shocked people standing in deep blood, guts all over the place, as part of an awful joke.

They wouldn't take it down.

I never, ever, look at FaceBarf. Babies bottoms? I've washed one, hundreds of times. They aren't sexy.

Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment

Christopher Blackmore
Big Brother

Bye Dropbox

Account closed.

Web inventor Berners-Lee: I so did NOT see this cat vid thing coming

Christopher Blackmore

Mine of Information

That was the name of a computer bookshop in St Albans.

Chinese Moon rover, lander duo wake up after two-week snooze

Christopher Blackmore

Don't forget the Welsh!

I believe they are in Patagonia, but have no idea why.

Be prepared... to give heathens a badge: UK Scouts open doors to unbelievers

Christopher Blackmore

Leader interview

Have they actually changed the strict rule they had for leaders? That kept me from volunteering a couple of years back.

TPG flashes cheeky 'down under' CAPTCHA

Christopher Blackmore

We've got the Parliament we deserve, we choose it after all

At no point did I put an X in a box that said blue and yellow Tories ganging up to destroy the country.

OK, so we paid a bill late, but did BT have to do this?

Christopher Blackmore

Claire Perry

Has a long record of not understanding technology.

Tat bazaar eBay takes a rest for 'scheduled maintenance', goes offline

Christopher Blackmore

Time for some new clichés

Every news item your pissed old hacks churn out about eBay uses the same cliché about "tat". Please try to put as much effort into your writing as I put into selling quality items on there. Lazy sods.

Google loses Latitude in Maps app shake-up

Christopher Blackmore

The Giant

...isn't he in Dorset?

Windows 8.1 Start button SPOTTED in the wild

Christopher Blackmore
Big Brother

Re: "I could care less for the button itself"


I could not care less means I care as little as it is possible to care, which clearly is NOT AT ALL.

Software glitch WIPES OUT listings of 10,000 eBay sellers

Christopher Blackmore

Tat bazaar?

Every article you write that mentions eBay calls it a "tat bazaar". The items I sell are in first class condition, not "tat".

Perhaps this is a "lazy hack news dump"?

APPLE reveals complete updated blueprints of SPACESHIP JOBS

Christopher Blackmore

I would expect...

I would expect this to be as unusable as the stupid unseaworthy barge Jobs designed, the good ship Venus.

4chan founder Moot threatens site for using his handle

Christopher Blackmore

More unique?

It's binary. A thing either is, or is not, unique. Apart from that, agree...

A history of personal computing in 20 objects part 2

Christopher Blackmore
Thumb Up

The other one you forgot.

Nascom. The one you had to build from a kit. I started with a Nascom 1, put it in a big rack frame, and extended, and extended. Upgraded to a Nascom 2, extended some more. I'd go on, but nobody these days knows why a Pluto card was amazing...

Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

Christopher Blackmore

Even an OND in Nautical Science is enough...

Even an OND in Nautical Science is enough for me to be able to see what is wrong with this. The bows with their vertical sides will offer almost no resistance to any pitching motion, so in any sort of choppy weather the silly thing is going to pitch like crazy. The deck has no sheer, so the bows are going to dig in when that pitching starts, resulting in tons of water on deck. The decks have no camber, so the water will not flow off as quickly as you might wish. It will probably still be there when the next wave arrives. There's about 10,000 horsepower of engines, so any attempt to do the 60 knots it's supposedly capable of will most likely cause a very good impression of a submarine.

Still, if you like things that look like that and are a billionaire who thinks alternative medicine will save you...

Facebook: Our phone app DID seize your email

Christopher Blackmore

But you can...

You can remove the Facebook app's login info, and set it never to update, and use Google+ instead.

Facebook phone app attempts to seize ALL YOUR MAIL

Christopher Blackmore

If you can't remove the app...

Remove the account information so it can't log on.

Swearing fine quashed as teens have heard it all before

Christopher Blackmore

The main use of swearing...

... is to enable inadequate stand-up comedians to fill twenty minutes with five minutes' worth of material.

Brit boffins print blinking booze bottle labels

Christopher Blackmore


I don't drink beer out of the bottle. Ι know how to operate a glass.

Vegas man begs web for $1m to fix gigantic scrotum

Christopher Blackmore

The Conservatives fought against the inception of the NHS as hard as they could, as it was going to take away the rights of doctors to get rich.

NASA Legonauts set for Jupiter voyage

Christopher Blackmore

Not a frying pan

Any fule kno that is not a frying pan. They look like this http://www.bricklink.com/search.asp?q=frying+pan

Whereas, the magnifying glass looks like this http://www.bricklink.com/search.asp?q=magnifying+glass

Why should I get out more, when I have all this Lego to play with?

Woman puts shout-out for hitman on Facebook

Christopher Blackmore

Oook, BASIC!

You forgot to initialise ANGER.

Naked cyclist streaks through Suffolk village

Christopher Blackmore
Big Brother

I hate wowsers.

If Dog had meant us to be naked, we would be born that way.

Turks take to the streets against web filters

Christopher Blackmore

Oh but...

...just try posting anything that might possibly be interpreted as not completely worshipful about Ataturk and see what happens.

Virgin outsources techies, pulls plug on Trowbridge call centre

Christopher Blackmore
Thumb Down

Trowbridge support was good.

This is a stupid move. Like several above, I have nothing but praise for the techies in Trowbridge, but am unable to understand a word the people on another continent say. "May I speak to your supervisor, please?" repeated until they gave in, proved to be the only way to get anything useful from them. The supervisor has a Wiltshire accent, and fixes things in seconds.

Go Daddy CEO under fire for 'elephant snuff film'

Christopher Blackmore
Thumb Up


"that criterion"

Chicken Little report: Sat-nav dependency spells DISASTER!

Christopher Blackmore

Another alternative...

Another alternative would have been the Securicor Datatrak unit, that worked off ground based radio signals. When I was one of the people working on it, there was some concern that this new-fangled GPS thing was much more accurate, and would corner the market. A quick Google search appears to show that they cleverly gave up that technology and adopted GPS instead.

Judge puts Assange behind bars ahead of extradition hearing

Christopher Blackmore

The real reason bail was refused...

...according to some news site or other I carelessly forgot the name of,

"Gemma Lindfield, appearing for the Swedish authorities, successfully opposed bail being granted because there was a risk he would fail to surrender – and also for his own protection, she said. She outlined five reasons why there was a risk: his "nomadic" lifestyle, reports that he intended to seek asylum in Switzerland, access to money from donors, his network of international contacts and his Australian nationality."

All crimmoes, those Australians.

Juniper gobbles Altor Networks in $95m startup snack

Christopher Blackmore
Thumb Up

Now the beefening of virty cloud firewalls can begin

Copper-Conk Cassidy from Dangermouse, I believe...

Royal Wedding: Prince Charles is a ZX81, Wills is an iPad

Christopher Blackmore


Differs from Jug Ears, as it won't talk to trees.

Times celebrates disappearing readers

Christopher Blackmore

I prefer better English

"It is early days but..." says the editor.

Shurely (© Private Eye), she should say "These are early days..." or perhaps "This is an early day..."?

Drummers: Looking for a throbbing BumChum?

Christopher Blackmore

Another old one

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the rhythm into a drum machine once.

Black helicopters circle 'Welsh Roswell'

Christopher Blackmore


It's called sleep.

The Reg guide to Linux, part 1: Picking a distro

Christopher Blackmore
Thumb Up

Exactly. Netbooks need something better...

My Asus 1000 eeePC chugged along OK with its original Xandros, and was better when I enabled the hidden full desktop instead of easy mode.

But now it has eeeBuntu Netbook Remix on it, and it has become the machine I always needed. I can take it to Greece and use it in cafes and hotels for Skype, internet and backing up my various digital devices (sound recordings, photos, videos, etc). I can edit sound files and blog them. Google Chrome runs like a dream on it.

I just wish the hardware had come with software this good in the first place. I'm not a fanboi, just really pleased with the way my netbook now works.

Former heads of HP and eBay win California primaries

Christopher Blackmore


Some of us sell high quality things on eBay. Stop calling it "tat", you lazy HACK.

Bumper Patch Tuesday tackles multiple Windows flaws

Christopher Blackmore
Thumb Up

Works better too...

That hardware windowing using display lists never gives corrupted windows like Windows does...

Wish I still had my amigas...

Webcam saves stranded man

Christopher Blackmore


...that he could flash his camera at exactly the time the webcam took a picture.

'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

Christopher Blackmore

Nothing to do with me...

I just want to point out that this Doctor Dark energy is nothing to do with my website at www.doctor-dark.co.uk so I get a gratuitous link plug...

Googlebooks crusade captures CAPTCHA king

Christopher Blackmore


I grabbed the page, cut out the Captcha picture, which says "Google acquires reCaptcha", saved it in OneNote, and asked OneNote to read the text from it.

"Goog2eAçqufrsreCAfTCRA" was what it saw. Took me about a minute. I would imagine most hacky types could do better easily.

Not very effective, is it?

Blade Runner tops sci-fi movie poll

Christopher Blackmore

Star Wars?

Just a rubbish remake of Kurosawa's excellent "Hidden Fortress". Quite good to watch when there's nothing else on, though...



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