* Posts by Amazon Wageslave

74 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Jul 2009


Trident nuke subs are hackable, thunders Wikipedia-based report

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They're not. The warheads are manufactured and maintained at Aldermaston and Burghfield, about 40 miles west of London.

Teen charged with 'cyberstalking' in bomb hoax case

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Article picture

Did anyone else look at the picture el Reg used to illustrate this article and get the urge to shout "ONE! STEP! BEYOND!"

Fire brigade called to free man's bits from titanium ring's grip

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Best bit

From the Irish Medical Journal article:

Conflict of Interest:

No conflicts of interest from any author

Pharma hate figure Martin Shkreli suspended from Twitter

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It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again

Sherlock icon because what did Shkreli think would happen?

A British phone you're not embarrassed to carry? You heard that right

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Re: Wileyfox

LOL. Sadly it was out a pub window while doing this---->

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I bought the Wileyfox Storm last year, on the basis of the el Reg review. It was an excellent phone for the price. Unfortunately I trashed mine back in March by dropping it 8 feet on to tarmac. The phone still worked, but the screen was bolloxed. Replaced it with the Swift and have been very happy since. Being able to customise just about everything is a real plus.

About the only criticism I can make is that file transfer can be a bit buggy; it sometimes takes a couple of attempts before the phone and my laptop play with each other.

The Swift 2 looks very tempting. I'm happy with my original one right now, but my other half is looking for a new phone and the Swift2 might be just the ticket for her.

Carly Fiorina makes like HP and splits – ex-CEO quits White House race

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Paris Hilton


Shamelessly stolen from someone on Twitter:

"If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO"

Creationist: The Flintstones was an accurate portrayal of Dino-human coexistence

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God give me strength

Ken Ham's having bother building his replica Ark. His org lost state tax breaks because they were discriminating on religious grounds when hiring staff.

Yes, staff. Modern technology, expert tradesmen, hundreds of staff and a huge amount of cash, and the project isn't going well. But Ken has faith that a 500-year-old and his family managed it a few thousand years ago.

Lawyer: Cops dropped robbery case rather than detail FBI's StingRay phone snoop gizmo

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Jennifer Joyce, meet the Streisand Effect

Jennifer Joyce is the Circuit Attorney (chief prosecutor) for St Louis. She threatened an ethics complaint against a lawyer who said on Twitter that her office had dropped the charges in this case to protect Stingray information.

How's that working out for you Jen?

Uber exec wanted to sic private dicks on critics ... Hey, Emil Michael, COME AT US, bro

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Weasel words

"...do not reflect my actual views..." this fake apology bollox needs to stop. Why were you saying it if it didn't reflect your views? Are you in the habit of randomly suggesting your company engages in practices that you disagree with?

Police stats inflate the number of guns actually stolen in Blighty

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You sure about that?

I bought a mini-flare gun plus several full-size flares over the counter a couple of months ago. I didn't have to show ID, which actually surprised me, since eejit football fans have been setting off flares at matches of late.

Uber alles... nein! Germany imposes nationwide ban on taxi app

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Re: You mean the government bodies are feeling the heat??

"If I pass a vetting process it doesn't mean that I am "safe", it simply means that I have never been caught. Very different thing."

Sometimes it doesn't even mean that:


"A mayor who resigned after a taxi driver he vouched for was found to have a rape conviction has been urged to leave the council altogether. Subhan Shafiq stepped down as Milton Keynes mayor after describing the man as being of "good current character". This helped the driver, Mr Shafiq's friend, to get a taxi driver's licence."

I have no opinion regarding Uber; never used it, no particular desire to do so, hardly use regular taxis as it is.

Amazon Fire: Who needs a WAREHOUSE when you have a global ADS PLATFORM?

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Hope springs eternal

Saw "Amazon" "fire" and "warehouse" in the title, and desperately hoped my FC had done an ASOS. Shame, the weather's really nice at the moment too.

Restaurant chain uses CARBON PAPER to fight credit card hack

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Re: What's so special about them?

The US Secret Service is responsible for the investigation of some financial crime; counterfeiting and suchlike. It was originally part of the Treasury Department.

Here's the USSS mission statement (boak) "The mission of the United States Secret Service is to safeguard the nation's financial infrastructure and payment systems to preserve the integrity of the economy, and to protect national leaders, visiting heads of state and government, designated sites and National Special Security Events."

Don't snap SELFIES at the polls – it may screw up voting, says official

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Big Brother

Polling station shenanigans

I'd never experienced that, living in a depressingly safe Labour seat. That was until the last Scottish Parliament election when the SNP candidate cut the Labour majority to 500ish from several thousand. We had a Westminster by-election a year later, and both Labour and SNP threw people at the area, including folk asking for electoral roll numbers on leaving the polling station. I took great pleasure in suggesting they do something biologically implausible.

Super-heavy element 117 DOES exist – albeit briefly. Got any berkelium handy?

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Re: How about...

I think my keys are made of that.

Twitter tunes out trashy Tweeters with much-needed muting module

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Re: Don't get it

That's probably not the best example of the use case for a mute function. Where it would be useful is when someone you follow is tweeting about an event you don't care about. Maybe a sporting event, or a conference you're not interested in. Mute them for the duration.

Look out, bankers! It's Lily Cole and her (Brit taxpayer-funded) WISH-PRINTING ATM

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Re: I don't know what Biznis Kitty would make of it

Angry Kitty was my favourite part of the Lego Movie. That, and the Terminator reference: "Come with me if you want to not die".

Well worth babysitting the nephew in order to blend in at the cinema.

Robowagons roll! US Army tests all-drone supply unit

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Black Helicopters

Re: You wouldn't have stop the caravan.

These days, the armed guards could be a pair of Apaches on overwatch.

Another thought, a mixed convoy of meatsack drivers and robowagons, to minimise the number of troops exposed to threat, but still have people on the ground if needed.

Prince sues 22 music file-sharers for ONE MEEELLION dollars each

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Prince has been a prick for years: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/11/14/prince_b3ta_dmca/

El Reg preps relaunch of Cash’n’Carrion online merchandise emporium

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Stickers please. The Vulture, BOFH, SPB, all that good stuff.

Snapchat vows to shut its hole in wake of 4.6 million user data breach

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Paris Hilton

What I don't get...

The whole point of Snapchat is to send nude pics, yes? There's really no other use case. So why in God's name did it need a look-up function? If you're not sure about a person's phone number or email, you probably shouldn't be sending them dick/tit pics. Even if the pic has a self-destruct function of dubious functionality.

Old Apple Safaris leave IDs and passwords for scavengers to peck

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Apple forward thinking

Apple have got this covered by making Safari so fecking useless that people automatically install and use a different browser.

Creepy US spy agency flings WORLD SLURPING OCTOPUS into orbit

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That's acutally pretty tame...

There are some awesome/disturbing patches for US secret projects, as well as some hilarious unofficial morale patches. This book features a range, along with details of what some of the designs mean: http://www.mhpbooks.com/books/i-could-tell-you-but-then-you-would-have-to-be-destroyed-by-me/

Undercover BBC man exposes Amazon worker drone's daily 11-mile trek

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and another thing...

"The characteristics of this type of job, the evidence shows increased risk of mental illness and physical illness."

Amazon sites aren't so much warehouses as holding pens for people with personality disorders, in my experience.

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Some truth, some bollocks.

Yes, the job sucks. Yes, the pay's crap. Not exactly a shock. That said, saying that he was struggling to pick 110 UPH suggests he's really, really stupid/lazy, or exaggerating to get a good story. I have trained people to pick, including a fair number of East Europeans who spoke English as a second language. They've managed to get up to speed without any great difficulty.

On another note, the security boss down at CWL1 will be getting a thorough reaming for his security guards not finding a body camera. Giggle.

Samsung touching up ROUNDED, CURVY plastic enhanced MODEL

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Re: Been there, done that.

Samsung are boasting about the first curved smartphone. That Nokia (my first ever mobile, god I feel old) was many things, but smart wasn't one of them.

Police constable 1337 stunned by Lego lookalike

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The issue is the fact that PCSOs exist solely to make the public think that there are more police officers on duty than there actually are. That's why forces across the country have given them virtually identical uniforms to regular coppers. Some are even considering issuing their PCSOs with batons, sprays and cuffs.

I'm sure that many, even most, PCSOs are decent folk who do their job well. It's just that their job shouldn't exist. Scrap them and use the money saved to employ warranted PCs.

Amazon to hire over 85,000 temporary elves for Christmas

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Good luck with that...

There's just (as in this week) been a major change of shift pattern for all the UK FCs. There used to be a mix of folk working 5x8 hour shifts and 4x10 hour shifts, with a night shift running Nov-Dec. Now everyone's on 4 10-hour shifts and there's a permanent night shift. The various overlap days are going to be chaos; we don't have the capacity to have that many people working at once, never mind canteen facilities and so on. It's virtually certain that temps are going to get sent home or called and told not to come in. We've already got a shite reputation locally as an employer, and it's going to get worse.

Amazon Kindle Fire HDX: Bezos dives into tech-support MONEY PIT

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Haud me back

I've met some of our CS staff. You don't want to video call them.

Boffins, Tunnel Tigers and Scotland's world-first power mountain

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It's a film star too

A wee bit of the Bond film "The World is Not Enough" was filmed up at Cruachan.

As someone else mentioned, the train station is a request stop, and the train up from Glasgow splits in two at Crianlarich so check you're in the correct carriage and make sure the ticket collector knows where you're going. IME the staff on the West Highland line are good at paying attention and helping out visitors. By the way, if you get to Cruachan by public transport or bicycle you get free entry.

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Re: "photographs are forbidden for fear terrorists could make use of them,"

"Is everyone here forgetting the terrorist attack on the similar Dubh Ardrain facility nearby? There's some big boys out there, and some of them know how to strike and run away!"

Arf. If only Angel X was real. I've always pictured her as Mary Kiani. Sigh...

Anyway, great article Bill, and great series. More of "The Geek's Guide to..." thank you please.

PHWOAR! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, Prime Minister

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some evidence would be nice

"Children are getting far more access to pornography than they used to, and it's not doing them any good at all."

[Citation needed]

What you wrote is commonly believed, but the evidence is sketchy to say the least.

Vibrator guru on pleasure tech: 'Of all the places you'd want a quality UI....'

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what you did there, I saw it

"Standard Innovation saw an opening in this area"

I bet they did.

Apple versus Samsung: everything infringes everything

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brand loyalty? aye right

Why should any customer have loyalty to a brand? It's simple: companies make things, customers choose which one suits them best (if any) based on price, features, whatever is most important to them. This idea of blind loyalty is ridiculous in the extreme.

Apple have been eejits of late- especially with their petulant child response to losing the English case. I have a Samsung phone and Galaxy S mini-tablet/music player. Fandroid? Nope, I just bought a Macbook Air. Because the MBA is the best product on the market for my specific needs.

Prudential cops £50k ICO slap for giving customer's life savings away

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Re: Hang on ...

Nope, in this case it was human error. A financial advisor put in an address change for customer #1, but accidentally gave the account details for customer #2 instead. The Pru then updated their records accordingly. Where they screwed up was in taking several years to fix said error, even when both customers had repeatedly informed them of the problem.

Craig, Connery or ... Dalton? Vote now for the ultimate James Bond

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Re: Right so...

Daniel Craig isn't actually a "muscle-bound hulk". He's naturally very lean-see the hotel scene in Layer Cake for instance. He then worked very hard and got into incredible shape to play Bond, putting on some muscle. The combination makes him look bigger.

Sean Connery was into body-building in the 50's. If you put both of them as Bond together, Connery would be much bigger looking.

Inside the mind of a Bond supervillain: Psychotic, autistic - or neither?

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Regarding Murdoch

Rupert isn't the only choice for the real-life inspiration for Elliot Carver. There's Ted Turner for one, but more obviously Robert Maxwell. Tomorrow Never Dies even ends with M dictating a press release about Carver's death, saying that he fell from his luxury yacht.

Factor that in with Maxwell's rumoured links with Israeli spooks, and his arseholish behaviour (ripping off the Mirror Group pensions etc) and you've got a very solid base for a Bond villain.

ICO tries to justify hefty NHS data breach fines

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Or it could be that losing medical records is considered to be a more serious breach compared to Google's Street View wi-fi slurping and so on. As such, there will always appear to be a bias towards hitting the public sector with fines, as the overwhelming majority of health care provision in the UK is public sector.

Inside the real-world Double-O section of Her Majesty's Secret Service

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There have been a few...

The SAS book tsunami of the mid-late 90's had a few along those lines. The unit in question was usually referred to as 14 Int/The Det and operated in NI. It later became the SRR that Lewis mentioned in the article. Andy McNab wrote about having to use an assumed name while attached to 14 Int in "Immediate Action". There was also "The Operators" by James Rennie.

The rationale was pretty simple: If the IRA caught and tortured a plain-clothes operator he or she wouldn't be able to give up any useful info on their colleagues (home addresses and the like). This was at a time when the various pyro-Paddies were targeting military personnel on and off duty on the mainland after all.

Amazon UK: We're hiring 3,000 Xmas temps? Make that 10,000

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Re: Intelligence Test?

God, if we had intelligence tests for staff every single Amazon site would be empty. ;) The temp jobs will be advertised though an agency. They'll be ads in the local paper and Job Centre.

And as for the comment above re: G4S, if only Amazon HR could organise things as smoothly as G4S. They're the living embodiment of the old line from Dilbert: "You can't spell "who cares" without HR".

Amazon to create 5,000 UK jobs in Kindle Fire hire

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Creative accounting

Even allowing for temp jobs, the figure quoted is almost certainly bollocks. When Amazon opened the site at Dunfermline last year the jobs created figure in the press release included all posts created in Scotland since the last announcement. Amazon announced 200 extra jobs for one site, of which 60-80 had already been created in the 18 months previous.

Assange granted asylum by Ecuador after US refused to rule out charges

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Re: Consistency and morality.

An Act of Parliament (Diplomatic and Consular Premises Act 1987) was passed after the Yvonne Fletcher murder. That is the difference. If the same thing were to happen today, the Met would happily go door-kicking.

But don't let the facts get in the way of a good session of mouth-foaming.

Reg readers scrap over ultimate bacon sandwich

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not a huge bacon sannie fan...

My preference is for a roll and slice (square sausage) and tattie scone, with onions and tomato sauce. Bonus points for a well-fired or Morton's roll that's pleasingly jaggy to the mouth.

Use the holy word of God to stay secure online, says bishop

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Job 3:14

'with kings and counselors of the earth, who built for themselves places now lying in ruins,'

Mission: Impossible did it first. ;)

Game closes 277 stores

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Re: TheProf- Too expensive

The Jersey VAT issue is irrelevant to games; most new games would have been over the £18 limit.

So, what IS the worst film ever made?

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Igby Goes Down

Igby Goes Down. Not even the ohsopretty Claire Danes could save that one. I was chatting with my girlfriend ages back and she mentioned Igby Goes Down. I said I hadn't seen it- she pointed out that we'd watched it together. The film was so bad my mind had attempted to scab over the entire viewing experience.

RIM execs chewed through restraints after in-flight fracas

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They were

Apologies if this has been posted already. From the linked article:

"The two men were on a week-long business trip for the BlackBerry maker, but they were arrested after the flight landed in Vancouver."

Eejits got what was coming to them. I feel sorry for all the passengers that pair of oxygen thieves inconvenienced.

Amazon solves wait-at-home-for-deliveries problem

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You guess wrong

As my username suggests, I work in a big building with Amazon written on the side. Can I get stuff delivered to my work? Hell no. Around Christmas we'll have a couple of thousand staff on site- can you imagine the chaos if 10% of us got our Christmas shopping delivered?

This idea is great- hoping Tesco get involved as a locker location. It'd be a godsend to shift workers.

Magellan Explorist 710 hiking GPS

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battery query

"The 710 is powered by two non-rechargeable AA batteries".

Alun, do you mean that's what you used when testing, or are rechargeables specifically ruled out by Magellan for some reason? If it's the latter, then DO NOT WANT. My current Garmin (non-touchscreen) unit will chug along nicely for 12 or so hours on a pair of rechargeable AAs.