* Posts by Joe K

830 publicly visible posts • joined 11 May 2007

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Mythbusters RFID episode axed after 'pressure' from credit card firms

Joe K

Best show ever

I love Mythbusters, though it didn't sound like a very exciting myth anyway.

How come no-one stopped that one where they completely busted the claims of an "completely uncrackable, never been fooled" fingerprint lock with PHOTOCOPIES of their fingerprints?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E20lHqbWqN4

Burned by Chrome - Fire put out

Joe K
Black Helicopters

Nice

Whats that, 24 hours?

Quicker than i expected for it to crash and burn, and leave it to the lawyers to kill it stone dead too.

eMusic rattles ISPs over legal downloads

Joe K
Coat

*plays the worlds smallest violin*

If the ISP's give us an all-we-can eat DRM-free music buffet as part of our subscription, like Nokia is doing, would anyone really shed tears if the bottom line of eMusic (who?) and iTunes is hit?

Anyone?

Google's comic capers: what they really meant to say

Joe K
Alert

OY, Reg!

Speaking of photoshopping, whatever happened to the Old Fogies Road Sign compo from the 21st?

Dixons Group still suffering

Joe K

Sheesh

Yeah, store re-fits, that'll bring the customers in to buy overpriced PC's *rolls eyes*

And the 20,000 staff are only NOW having some customer training?

That explains a lot.

Commodore launches little laptop

Joe K
Black Helicopters

*checks calendar*

Its not April again already is it??

They really missed a trick here, if it was installed with AmigaOS, or even just dual boot into Amiga in a Box (http://aiab.amiga.sk), this thing would FLY off the shelves through nostalgia alone.

A C= branded machine running XP, perish the thought.

The Google-isation of all the net's access points

Joe K
Gates Horns

Not bad

I enjoyed the comic strip, and was intruiged by its ideas, and agree that MS needs yet another boot up the arse to put proper coders on the IE project........

....but it'll take a LOT more than some fancy talk to get me away from Opera. And a lot more than that to ever trust Google with all my browsing data.

Google releases open source browser

Joe K
Black Helicopters

Wheres the El-Reg scepticism?

Surely this browser pipes your history to Googles mega-database?

Or in some way calculates your demographic and buying preferences in order to serve you ads direct from Googles Doubleclick network?

Whats in it for them?

Apple, O2 to release PAYG iPhones this month

Joe K
Unhappy

Ouch!

£350 for 8GB?! Damn thats pricey.

Considering that its little more than an iTouch (£169.99) with a baseband and GPS module stuffed in, they're gouging the hell out of us to make up for the lack of contract.

DSGi sharpens axe for 50 staff

Joe K

Fuckin ell

Blaming the weather now eh? It'll be Global Warming next, star signs, ley lines, ect.

Not because they are just completely shit then?

LG prices up HSDPA-equipped mini laptop

Joe K
Thumb Down

Bloody hell

"and the SCC is set to be priced at €399 ($589/£320)"

I stopped reading there.

NEXT!

iPhone hackers post latest jailbreak tool

Joe K
Jobs Horns

Pointless

Shame theres little point in jailbreaking anymore.

Anyone who can write anymore than 10 lines of mac code is putting any old crap they make on the App Store, in the likely hope that the mugs who use it will buy anything.

And fair play to them, i'd do the same if i could.

So there hasnt been squat on Installer or Cydia for over a month now, anymore than a few summerboard themes.

Still, beats *paying* for a damn firmware update! (in the case of the Touch)

Geek tech takes hoovering to new heights

Joe K

Never mind all that

When are they going to combine the awesome tech of both the Dyson and the Segway for the ultimate geek hoover.

IT pay jumps as skills gap widens

Joe K
Paris Hilton

*nelson* HAW HAW!

1./ Offshore to morons to save money

2./ ???

3./ Profit!

4./ Hire highly paid contractors (if you can find them) to clear up the disasterous mess that resulted from step 1

/Paris, cos even she'd do a better job than some project managers

Grazing cattle display animal magnetism

Joe K

Lazy science

I was with them up until i saw that this whole thing comes from spending too much time looking at pixels on Google Earth.

Get out to some fields you lazy sods!

Asus readies fourth incarnation of Eee 900

Joe K
Stop

"This is getting silly"

Oh it got silly a LONG time ago Tony.

Obviously Asus consists of nothing but managers having meetings about new models to throw desperately onto the marketplace.

Commodore and Sega made the same company-destroying mistakes, you fools!

Microsoft's Photosynth falls out of cloud

Joe K

Ugh

I dunno about the rest of you, but that thing makes me feel quite motion sick after a while.

'Why not try nude female midgets?' says Microsoft Adcenter

Joe K
Paris Hilton

Yeesh

I can only hope that its a slip of the keyboard that changed "fuck" into Duck.

If not, then the Internet is a far wierder place than i thought.

Old timers rattle zimmers at 'Elderly Persons' sign

Joe K

Lets not stop there

What about that one with the motorbike jumping over the car, surely the lack of a take-off or landing ramp gets right up any stunt riders nose.

And that car driving off the dock. A tragic event, i wonder how many lives were lost.

Game sharer gets £16K fine

Joe K
Thumb Down

Utter bollocks

Are we turning into America?

How can anyone say that she cost them that much, when its a bullshit game that no-one bought anyway.

She should laugh in their face, declare bankrupcy, and tell all the courts and software house to go fuck themselves.

Apple's AppStore closes in on $500m in software sales

Joe K
Jobs Horns

Bollocks

Superior technology my arse.

I got tired of waiting for Vodafone to get the iPhone, so bought a N82, best decision i've ever made, a wonderful piece of technology. Even has better sound quality than the iPhone/touch, and who needs a touch screen when its in your pocket on the tube. Staggeringly brilliant camera, open software galore from getjar.com, and an all round better phone.

Also contains a DLNA server(direct browsing with my PS3!), and Nokia Phone Suite contains a home media server for remote access to my files/photos/videos.

How the hell can Apple do a patent for something that already is in use!?

BT seals free Digital Vault

Joe K
Boffin

Service for morons

I've always wondered what the point of this is.

Why not just email your valuables to your own Gmail/Hotmail/Yahoo account?

Gigs of storage, and those companies aren't going to go anywhere soon, and competition keeps those gigs of storage free.

Tired of RRoD taunts? Turn your Xbox 360 into a PC

Joe K
Thumb Up

Nice.

And still smaller than the original Xbox!

Yelp 'pay to play' pitch makes shops scream for help

Joe K

RottenTomatoes & Metacritic

2 sites that have also been ruined by giving any old gobshite with a keyboard an assumption that they are a professional critic.

All critics are arseholes, and so are most people.

US judge says University can ignore Christian course credits

Joe K

Wait till Bush hears about this

He'll soon veto or undo it somehow, retarded bible-muppet that he is.

The IT Crowd goes west

Joe K
Thumb Up

"If you type Google, into Google, you may break the internet"

Classic series, can't wait for the 3rd season.

I'm sure some yanks will get it, though it helps if you've seen Father Ted first and know what a bizarre comic-book world Graham Lineham's head spews out.

MS preps 12 fixes for August Patch Tuesday

Joe K
Coat

Missed opportunity...

You could have stuck in a pic of the EeePC beach girl here, surely a time for your holidaying admin to make use of a UMPC.

Any excuse really.

Sega hopes to score with homely Japanese women

Joe K

Up shoot shoot shoot down shoot shoot

Ulala was awesome.

That is all.

Sub £200 mini laptop launched

Joe K
Alert

400 mhz

According to the manual it sports a "XBurst 400 MHz 32-bit CPU", which according to Google is common in crapola knock-offs like this and is probably less powerful than the one in your phone.

Joe K
Thumb Down

Wouldn't touch it with a barge-pole

Sounds well dodgy, kind of like those mysterious ipod knockoffs you see going at the market stalls and computer fairs.

128 meg memory?!?

Rather pay the extra £50 and get the Acer Aspire One (review please El Reg, quickly now).

Olympus SP-570 UZ 'superzoom' camera

Joe K
Thumb Down

Bleagh!

Those example shots look horrendous!

And thats no slate on the photographer, i mean they look barely passable from a 5mp cameraphone.

I dread to think what night shots would be like, they obviously skimped on the CCD here to pack in such a lens while keeping it under £400.

McAfee slaps Trojan warning on MS Office Live

Joe K

Good stuff

LMCAPI eats over 50 megs of ram while doing fuck all, and i've never used it, and don't know anyone who does (it only adds a livemeeting button to Outlook).

Sounds like it was a FIX that got rolled out to me.

NebuAd jettisons PR firm, employees

Joe K
Thumb Up

Fuck yeah!

No sympathies here, i hope all trace of that company is wiped from the earth, and its founders are chased by debt hunters forever.

Now lets make Phorm implode like its share price has!

Pioneer's 500GB Blu-ray disc

Joe K
Dead Vulture

Pffft

You can get a 500GB hard drive now for £45, plus a tenner for a USB enclosure.

Thats got to be cheaper, faster and safer than this thing.

Optical media is dead for now, wake me up when they perfect holographic mega-storage.

Knights Templar to Vatican: Give us back our assets

Joe K

classic

All this Templar talk has made me want to install Broken Sword 1 on the SCUMM emulator on my itouch.

Ahhh, good times.

Up to 80,000 AOLers face the boot from Carphone network

Joe K
Thumb Down

Huh???!

Is this some bizarrely evasive management speak for "We can't be arsed getting a Mac-version made, so Apple-heads can fuck off. Whats linux?"

Comcast plays New York anti-porn game

Joe K
Dead Vulture

I'll eat my mouse...

...if all that acres of porn the lying twat is on about is anything more than the usual dodgy spam every group gets.

Shut down Usenet bits at a time just because of a few spam pix, thats just great.

Vista 'perfection' dream over for iPhone?

Joe K
Linux

I used the theme

...but only for a week or two before it got too annoying.

The problem is that you have to make certain icons invisible to create the blank area dividing the screen, install an app or two and they are jiggled about and ruined.

You then spend hours playing with wiggling icons, the Poof and Categories applications trying to sort it out again.

Then you get sick of it, and go back to the regular Summerboard.

No great loss, it was only ever a toy, though a lovely looking one.

The PSP: what's its future?

Joe K
Thumb Down

What a nonsense article

The PSP is selling bucketloads, and not just in Japan(where its obliterating everything else *combined* some weeks).

People are cottoning onto the fact that its a fine media player too, and its flying out the door now that summer is here.

Game sales are another story, and its ALL because of piracy.

However its ridiculous to think that Sony would risk tampering to such an extent when the console is doing better than its ever done.

Yahoo! shoots DRM servers, swallows keys to tunes

Joe K
Gates Horns

Absolutely hilarious

Once again the only people left bollocked by DRM are those honest people willing to part with cash.

Bittorrent must be looking real good for all those poor bastards who threw their money down the shitter.

Inquirer celebrates spammer murder-suicide

Joe K

Meh

If you ask me the fact that he was a spam king is at LEAST secondary to the fact that he was so mentally deranged and psychopathic enough to kill a child.

Who cares about his job, its a horrible end-result of a madmans life.

Google unfurls less laughable Wikipedia

Joe K
Thumb Down

Repellent home-page

Pretty much nothing but fear-mongering articles about diseases.

*hits back button and vows to never visit it again*

It's official: Samsung shows off i8510 8mp cameraphone

Joe K

Utterly ridiculous

Even if you put a 20mp sensor in, the pix would be WORSE than a 3mp.

They're crippled by lens and CCD size.

When you hit 8mp, and don't increase the CCD chip size, you get a reduction in pixel size, which thanks to the properties of light is a VERY bad thing and buggers up the pictures in all kinds of ways.

Thats why paying any extra for 8MP+ in non-SLR cameras is a foolish thing to do, you'll end up with worse quality.

Shame that this ridiculous marketing-for-morons has now infected the mobile industry.

Oh and Korea had this years ago: http://mobilementalism.com/2005/11/03/samsung-8-megapixel-count-em-mobile-camera-phone/

Roberts solarDAB radio

Joe K
Thumb Up

Birdsong channel

Where is this? I want it. As long as its constant, and not broken up by adverts, ugh.

As for this radio, i like, very nice idea.

Amazon opens video on demand shop

Joe K
Thumb Down

Still not enough

All we want are available downloads/streams of BRAND NEW cinema releases.

I'd happily pay over the odds to avoid having to sit in a sticky, chav-packed cinema just to watch WALL-E.

But no, the dinosaurs can't work that one out, probably never will.

SAP forces customers onto premium support package

Joe K
Coat

Not a surprise

When you commit to SAP, you have to get used to the idea of being butt-raped, frustrated, and treated like a little bitch at every opportunity.

The company is like a pre-antitrust Microsoft, without the whimsy.

MoD in £1.75m rush order for SAS backpack radars

Joe K

@i wonder

Useful for american boarder patrol?

Oh yes, but that would make too much sense, and not line the pockets of numerous CEO's and politicians with fanciful ideas about Eye of Sauron type towers and satellite tracking.

Leave it to Blighty to keep it cheap and useful, a dying art.

Sony PS3 movie downloads are go

Joe K
Unhappy

Not in UK :-(

Bah, you can't even go on with a US PSN account and make it work, seems locked to IP addresses, unline the rest of the store.

Still, seeing as Sony are one of the biggest movie studios in the world, it shouldn't be too hard for them to get the UK store up and running with content.

Unlike MS, which treats Europe like a retarded step-child it'd rather not see or think about and will have to negotiate regional licencing deals itself.

Google plays Hide and Seek with Android SDK

Joe K
Flame

Idiots

There will always be devout followers of the Open Source religion, but how many will keep this doomed project going is beyond me.

Anyone with a brain will be moving onto the iPhone by now.

10 million apps downloaded in just a few days. OK, so most of those won't be paid-for apps, but you can't argue with those numbers.

Microsoft confirms 60GB Xbox 360

Joe K

Missed something

"While stocks last"

The 20GB may have had its price dropped, but its only for clearance, that SKU is being dropped.

So once thats gone, there is no real price drop, just a few more gigs processed through microsofts insane Dollars-per-gig pricing structure.

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