* Posts by Joe K

830 publicly visible posts • joined 11 May 2007


Finally, with W10, Microsoft’s device strategy makes sense

Joe K

Obvious MS surface ad

You are supposed to declare advertising in the UK.

Here are the God-mode holes that gave TrueCrypt audit the slip

Joe K


Anyone using Truecrypt on windows obviously doesn't care about security that much anyway.

Amazon's not-actually-3D Fire: Bezos' cash register in YOUR pocket

Joe K


One of the main reasons that WinPho fails for most people is the lack of appstore.

Amazon's appstore is like a random scattering of apps, some you've heard of, most you won't have, and whose only criteria is their devs who decide to give some money to Bezos.

Locking out the Play store may work on their tablets, but it'll go down like a lead balloon on a phone, where users demand a bit more freedom.

Supposedly secure Dogecoin service Dogevault goes offline

Joe K

Time to update the story, the site now admits they were hacked.

Amazon wires up email-to-Kindle to its gigantic online hard drive

Joe K

Seeing as everything you email to Kindle is always stored in the "Manage my Kindle - Archive" part of your Amazon account, as well as the sent items part of whatever email account you use...... this hardly qualifies as "interesting".

Amazon fuses LoveFilm, subs service, calls it Prime Instant Video

Joe K


You write as if this is a good thing, it isn't, its a forced price-hike on Prime.

I've used Prime for years, and have bought far more off Amazon that i ever would have without it.

Now that its being inflated by 30 quid, forcing a poor netflix ripoff on me that i have no need for, i have cancelled, and will be buying far far less than ever.

And from the forums, i'm not alone.

Hey coders – get a sense of hUMA: AMD to free GPU from CPU slavery

Joe K


Sony already pushed this into AMD's custom APU in the PS4, with some unconfirmed reports that Xbox One has it too, though the lack of unified memory in MS's console cripples the concept somewhat.

Meg Whitman asks HPers to drag their asses into the office

Joe K


And what if you work on a customer site that saw fit to stick their HP contingent in a small, airless room where the rest of the site don't have to look at your depressing, morale-free, faces?

UK plant bakes its millionth Raspberry Pi

Joe K
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Well done

What an unnecessarily bitter, pointless article.

They've done more than you ever will to promote some classroom coding, sunshine.

Nintendo is FLATLY UNHINGED: New 2DS is a handful of game

Joe K

Its actually one big touchscreen, with lots of it covered up by plastic, and the top screen rendered touchless by a plastic cover. http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-08-29-nintendo-2ds-twin-displays-are-actually-a-single-big-touchscreen

Very, very cheap and nasty.

Netflix dares UK freetards: Watch new Breaking Bad NOW or torrent it?

Joe K

Re: It also hasn't helped...

Netflix didn't "wipe" it, Warner Bros launched their own netflix-like on-demand service and so told them to pull all their stuff.

A few other media giants are setting up the same attempts. Very worrying. Very stupid of them.

Joe K

Come on, 5pm

Its been a looooooooooong day at work waiting to get home to see this.

No, i'm not lucky enough to be in a position to watch it at work :-(

Living with a 41-megapixel 808 PureView: Symbian's heroic last stand

Joe K

Re: Lots of Symbian users still out there...

Wow. I've been looking at the amount of reviews and downloads apps still get on Nokia's so called "dead" store and wondering if it was it was actually the case.

Sure, most of the reviews are foreign, but thats a huge market still out there using these things.

Joe K

Re: Broadcom GPU

Its a hardware fault, apparently, a dodgy batch of capacitors made it onto the board.

The latest updates fix it in some cases, but some people need to send the phone in to get the bad cap replaced.

Joe K

Re: Other significant selling points:

It is.

Whack a 32 or 64gig card in there and it becomes a handy portable media player too, thanks to the HDMI out.

Plays everything i've threw at it, even dodgy newsgroup mkv's, without issue.

Just found a similar feature, a guy who's used it for the past year:


Joe K

Re: Wifi hotspot

A free version of Joikuspot comes with it (the only limitation of free is that your spot is open, can't password protect it), works fine in a pinch, i paid £3 for it while it was on offer to get the full one.

Its 3.5G is blisteringly fast, and works in places i've seen people round me get zero signal.

Yeah my Nexus 7 has replaced the iThing for general app use. The 808 has all the phone-type apps i need, and usually free, like Checklist, Train Timetable, Sportstracker, Tweetian, Dropbox, etc.

Joe K

Re: symbian vs windows phone

I just read on AAS that Win8 doesn't even have Sleeping Screen, as in no clock on the screen at all times.

One of those little things i could not live without now.

Joe K
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Love the thing

Bought mine last year, after your review of it being used in Stromboli, coincidentally as i was also going to stromboli and couldn't be arsed lugging about the big old DSLR.

Performed admirably, and has ever since. Imagine my surprise to get more updates over the air yesterday, they just keep on tweaking.

iTouch does for the mobile apps, though Nexus 7 has taken over there big-time.

I'd rather have an excellent phone & camera, than an ok phone/camera/app-thing.

DIAL M for... mobile: New Wii app pipes mobe vid to big tellies

Joe K

Re: PS3 version has been doing this for months?

Yes, it has, and its similarly useless.

If i have a vid up i'll just watch it on the tablet. Though maybe handy for throwing a link to a HD video up on the big screen, that isn't an option on 480p Wii.

62,000 fewer shops: Welcome to the High Street of 2018

Joe K

Re: High Street

"Only the poor don't drive"?

Fuck off, a bunch of twats driving in for free parking isn't going to save anything.

TV gesture patent bombshell: El Reg punts tech into public domain

Joe K

I dont mind the fact that, for instance, Samsung is filling their tellies with patented gesture controls, as it makes it easier to know what make of telly to avoid.

Dumb tellies forever!

Joe K

Re: I really don't like the idea of gesture TV

"How does the TV know the gesture was mean for it and you're not simply swatting away a fly?"

Obviously, you pick up the remote, press the "expect gesture" button, then put the remote down and perform your gesture before the timeout.


Ubuntu without the 'U': Booting the Big Four remixes

Joe K


I tried it recently, and i love it, it reminds me of the later versions of AmigaOS.

Yes, the default floating folder of a few icons is rubbish, switch it to the Search & Launch interface and its far better.

And activities are great, flip between my Emulation, Games, Office, Images and Video desktop with a quick win-tab. The lack of multiple desktops is one reason why Windows is always lacking for power-users.

Linux in 2013: 'Freakishly awesome' – and who needs a fork?

Joe K

Re: And yet, and yet ...

Mint KDE, with the Search & Launch desktop is far nicer and easier to use than Win7.

Probably not Win 8, but then thats never going in an office.

Who are we kidding, MS will never get displaced out the office because they have influence, money and PR-style brashness to hound any barely-capable IT purse-string holder into thinking that they will always SAVE companies more money than anything else.

Try not to laugh.

Hands up who wants 3D finger-controlled fridges? That's the spirit

Joe K


I'd like a gesture where you can change channels, and volume, simply by moving your thumb tiny, effortless amounts.

Might be a bit hard to pick up with current cameras, so a small device might need to be held in the hand to relay the gestures. Might have space for a few dozen more commands too that can be performed similarly effortlessly.

Curiosity's MYSTERY MARS find: NASA reveals THE TRUTH

Joe K

Nice headline

And The Reg's spiral into becoming the new "Weekly World News" type of comedy tabloid continues.

Earth bombarded by interplanetary SLIME MONSTERS

Joe K

Re: Already debunked?

I did wonder why no other sites appeared to be reporting this, which would be one of the most historic finds in human history.

Shame. Oh El Reg, with this and the yank-baiting climate change articles every day you are getting worse.

25% of Groupon share value WIPED OUT after rates slashed

Joe K


The few business owners i know who've used Groupon all regret it, never again.

More trouble than its worth, with lots of leechers trying to take advantage, phone going all day, fraud attempts, etc.

Nokia opens Maps to rivals, flogs uber-budget €15 phone

Joe K

Nokia NEVER learn

Part of the reason for people to move primarily onto, then stick with, the iPhone range, and Samsung Galaxy models is because you know exactly what you are getting and upgrading barely involves thinking about. iPhone 5 is better than 4, Galaxy 3 is better than 2, etc.

Now with the Lumia's you have, in order of release:















Which is better? Fuck knows, and cares enough to even bother finding out.

Wii-U boat torpedoes Nintendo's '¥20bn profit' into ¥20bn loss

Joe K

Typical casual......

"Can i have one of those new Wii controllers please?...........

£300?!? For a controller?............

Whats a "console"? I thought it was a controller?"

Nintendo have only themselves to blame, naming it like they've named every other peripheral (Wii Fit, Wii Wheel, Wii Zapper, etc), branding it identically the same, and so barely registering on the consciousness of an easily-confused, bored-with-Wii, customer base.

Review: Lenovo IdeaPad Yoga 13 Windows 8 convertible Ultrabook

Joe K

You didn't answer the only question required:

Is it better than having a good laptop for work, and a tab (like a nexus, say) for couch time?

Its certainly more expensive than those, almost by a factor of two, so it had better be.

Segway daddy unveils DIY weight-loss stomach pump

Joe K

Re: Three simple bits of information:

Thats the Paleo diet.

I read "The Paleo Solution" last week, nice sciencey info about how badly carbs can fuck you up, truly horrifying and amazing how everyone still focuses on high-carb/low-fat diets..

Am now eating like a caveman, and its a damn nice way to eat.

Nvidia takes fight to Sony, Nintendo with Android handheld console

Joe K

Re: Pity...

The reason is to try and flog Tegra 4 and new Nvidia GFX cards, nothing else.

They'll lock this shit down, and make out like streaming is amazing super tech, conveniently forgetting that you can do this on current tablets with Splashtop2 for precisely no money at all.

I use my Nexus 7 to streamplay games from my PC with no issues at all. PS3 controller can still connect to the PC through a few walls, though mouse controlled turn-based games work much better.

Never being separated from Civ 5 or XCOM is one hell of a time-burner.

The year GNOMES, Ubuntu sufferers forked off to Mint Linux

Joe K

Now its all clear

Todays story about the Ubuntu phone, now the crazy Shuttleworth traincrash makes sense.

The moron believes he can take on Google, MS and Apple via the Unity backdoor.

What a nutcase.

Ubuntu for smartphones aims to replace today's mobes, laptops

Joe K

Re: What are they thinking/smoking?

It doesn't matter how well they do this, or how good it works, all it will take is one update from Google to kill this off instantly.

All they need to do is make Android do TV/VGA out through a dock, so turning it into a mobile Chromebook, at the very least. Some would say that Android can already do this, as the new HDMI Android stickcomputers prove, simply pair it up with a bluetooth mouse/KB, some apps to allow access to the underlying system/cmd line, and its a fairly functional computer already.

Information teleportation goes large-scale

Joe K

Re: Ansible (Ender version)

If they have an array of 8 you have the beginnings of a binary transmitter, can probably squeeze in ECC too.

Just a shame that entanglement state doesn't last.

UK gov probes Comet crash: Public, private sectors LOST £257m

Joe K

Its not the High St thats the dead weight here, its those retail park stores.

Crippling rent and energy costs, and staffing those fucking barns, is going to be the death of PC world next.

Twinning with Currys won't save them, people aren't buying TV's.

New Year's resolution: Don't use Instagram, it'll sell YOUR photos

Joe K

Re: Some users are threatening to quit the site

I've been watching people bin their accounts on Twitter all day, the pro/semi-pro photographer community is abandoning ship en-masse.

All it takes is a tweet from Beiber or some other celeb livid about the possibility of Facebook harvesting their image for adverts and the shit will truly hit the fan.

Search engines we have known ... before Google crushed them

Joe K

Excellent little WTF bit.

That last sentence........robot fighting league? Combat-focused bar & grill?

OK, we need more info on this.

Android seven-inchers swipe rug from under Apple

Joe K

Not surprised

I know that anecdotes don't count for shit, but tons of people i know have been asking questions about, Nexus 7's and Kindle Fires recently.

And usually when they find out that they do indeed have a Facebook and Twitter app, they get one.

P-P-P-Pick up our PENGUIN-POWERED Pi PIPER of Python

Joe K
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Re: Full Circle Magazine

Oh they are superb, thank you.

Joe K
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Re: Top Notch

I concur. This takes me back.

In my day we used to DREAM of having a megabyte to play with.

Then our dad would come home and thrash us to sleep with his belt.

BlackBerry 10: AWESOME. If the hardware matches it, RIM jobs are safe

Joe K

"But phones sell on the user interface"

Not any more. They mainly sell on contract price of course, but nowadays cool-ness is a factor.

And BB is about as cool as your dads work-tie collection.

Like i saw someone tweet this week "Apple's "slack off while on the bog" campaign is far better than BB's "Work, work, work, die" one."

NASA admits hiding 'really good' news from Martian soil

Joe K

Don't get excited

It'll be one for the GEOLOGISTS history books, as in they've found a nice type of quartz, or some such bullshit.

Reader input required: review our reviews

Joe K


Ditch the game reviews. Yes, a lot of us are gamers, but those of us who are have already read reviews that matter on our usual, more focused, gaming sites. They are often out of date anyway.

Pretty pointless, and don't fit in to the site in my opinion.

Also the lack of photos of the thing you are reviewing is annoying, and makes it look like you never had the item, or got 10 mins to play with it at a trade fair.

Seeing a manufacturers CG render, or heavily photoshopped pic, of a phone hovering in the air tells us absolutely nothing about how it fits in your average gnarled, pint-grasping, hacks hand.

Follow up reviews are good, showing how someone has got along with the item while using it for what was intended. Example was the Nokia 808 trip to Stromboli, which convinced me to get it.

Wireless boffins boost Wi-Fi hotspot performance 700%

Joe K


Yeah, sure the manufacturers will update their firmware for this.

Or they'll just make new products with WiFox "700% faster!!" labelled on the box and expect us to upgrade.


Google stealthily coalesces UK music cloud into being

Joe K
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Yes it has tempted me away from paying £30 for iTunes Match, seeing as this is free.

Also pretty damn fast uploading songs, but then i'm not daft enough to try it from a phone.

El Reg mulls Forums icon portfolio shake-up

Joe K

Fanboi wars

Some "I *heart* MS" and Apple icons would really get things going, as well as show true allegiances amongst the foolishly honest.

Joe K

Re: Bring back the old ones...!

Another vote here for bringing back the old ones, they were much better.

The angel/devil ones now are awful, the fanboi one makes no sense, troll guy is from 4chan, and we really REALLY need the El Reg gravestone back.