* Posts by pctechxp

1022 posts • joined 11 May 2007

Orange rolls into the banking business


Where do I sign up

To get a logo on a card and a share of the revenue?

U2 frontman bitchslapped by TalkTalk


No such thing as Irish

Its definitely Gaelic hence they have Gaelic football.

Back to the subject, Bono is talking complete crap as always but I would like to see the end of P2P from a purely technical stance because it is highly inefficient.

Toshiba unwraps Cell TV



So I wont have to purcahse overpriced blu ray disks crammed with crap you'd only watch once just for the sake of getting the film (which is what I actually wanted to purchase and watch more than once) in HD.

Hopefully the price for the 46 will be realistic and so I'll buy one when it lands in the UK (if it does)

Boffin calculates pi to 2.7 trillion digits

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surely there are more fun things to do with an i7 and 6 GB of RAM along with all that disk space?

Masses marvel at 'Most Useless Machine'

IT Angle

someone tell UK Government

So they could build one and it might just qualify as a successful project for once.

It doesn't really have an IT angle though, more a mechanical one.

O2 and Be Broadband speeds dip


Proof if proof be needed

That 'unlimited' Internet isn't technically feasible.

English language falls to the Slashdot effect



All our baks become Zombie banks does that mean we'll become a Zombie Nation?

(cue the banging trance track from 2000)

US word czars unfriend shovel-ready toxic assets


Lets ban

Chillax as it sounds like a laxative brand and really stupid to boot.

Arise, Sir Peter of Middle Earth


Knight of the Public Convenience

Surely George Michael would be the only candidate for that one?

Orange punts quality calling


Back to the future

Seems we are back in mid 90s territory again where the operators are competing over call quality, capacity and coverage.

How llong before Orange launches a TV ad featuring a native American tracker or simiar (a la One2One's launch of EFR) trumpeting this service at £x a month.

Not long I reckon.

Welcome to the out-of-control decade

Jobs Horns

Long term strategy?

Maybe this was the Apple plan all along.

1. Launch an ad for the Macintosh in which you try to convince the world that Apple is a force for good and is disruptive to the status quo (Apple 1984 commercial, a frame of which the author has used as an icon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYecfV3ubP8)

2. Play the hard done by underdog for 23 years, during this time launch an MP3 player which turned out to be a success, launch accompanying music store.

3. Milk the MP3 player's success by launching a handheld computing platform that doubles as a phone and which you exert complete control over, make the marketing and hardware so good that the none tech savvy completely miss this fact and go mad for it.

4.IIntroduce free applications that provide a useful function but also harvest data that you can sell to government or business (the highest bidder)?

Steve Jobs has been very clever and all this makes Microsoft look very tame in comparison.

Google and Apple are the companies to fear the most in the coming years, I'm not of the tinfoil hat brigade but I think the author makes a lot of good points.

Big Brother

Cloud computing

The main point of the article is that customers will not have a choice when buying new equipment, it will be cloud based or nothing.

O2 grovels for London network failure



El Reg has previously reported that the operators and indeed ofcom are unhappy about publishing transmission site details http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/08/11/ofcom_information/

So how can you now suggest sitefinder (which is maintained by a body that would rather the site did not exist) is a reliable source of information?

I'd also read that article again if I were you as parts don't make sense.

"Take relieve"

I could do a much better job and I'm not a journalist.

GSMA recruits a bit of Fry and Duran Duran


@Mark Monaghan

I'd agree Dire Straits would be a better choice not least because they are proper musicians and could perform 'Calling Elvis' which would have a telecoms connection at least.

connection geddit?

Mine's the one with a copy of Sultans of Swing in the pocket

Stella Artois augments iPhone reality


As a Grolsch or Guinness drinker

Can someone enlighten me as to why Stella is referred to as wife beater?

Because lots of wannabe real men who beat their wives because it makes them feel like a real man drink it?

Apologies for the question but as I'm a real man and not one of these scumbags I wouldn't know.

Top Gear tops iPlayer hit list


Not surprising

As apart from Have I Got News For You and Mock The Week and maybe Merlin its the only decent thing the Beeb puts out.

Angels can't fly: Official


Who pays these tossers

To research this shit, oh yeah we do along with students studying worthwhile Degrees (read: anything but media studies, psychology, arts or these craxy qualifications about a celebutard) to actually make a difference.

Have they found a cure for:





Carious other incurable conditions?

What's that you say? No?

So why are w**kers like this paid to research and write stuff like this?

He really needs to be fired along with the moron that signed off the research.

OK I'm not a Professor and I don't have a Degree but I'd really like some money to go to Canada for a couple of weeks to discover whether Bears do indeed shit in the woods as I really think the confirmation of this theory would benefit himanity.

Where do I apply? About 150K should be enough.

UK etailer calls self 'the last place you want to go'


Let's hope

Curry's and PC World adopt the same slogan as quite frankly I'd rather pay a bit more than do business with DSGi.

They really ought to do a Ratner and admit that most of the products they sell are indeed crap along with the staff they employ.

That has mostly been my experience.

3 billion have suffered Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody'



This dreadful bilge is on a par with I wish it could be Christmas every day by Roy Wood and Wizzard and of course Boney M

The only Christmas track I can just about stand is Farytale of New York by The Pogues but in another couple of years that'll be on the list too.

When I hear this in a shop I cant help wishing for a shotgun to take out every speaker I can find.

Hackers declare war on international forensics tool


Doughnuts is....

The code name for Service Pack 1 of COFEE

Vodafone drops top-of-the-range HTC


RE: Vodafone shouln't be allowed to sell handsets at all

What do you suppose your non-phone fanatic person does then?

Who should sell handsets?

US bests UK in iTunes Xmas giftiness

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What we really want to know is

Is this Jobs' own choice of playlist or did someone else pick it?

Did someone say 'nobody is buying this crap, lets give it away as someone out there is bound to like it and want more'

Thomas the Tank Engine drives 'conservative political ideology'


I blame the Fat Controller (or should that be the Obese Controller to be PC)

"The law is the law and you can't change that" said the Fat Controller

That's Conservative ideology right there, you cant change the status quo unless you are seen as an upstanding member of society so that means a banker, solicitor, barrister or anyone else with pots of cash that wishes to make a generous donation to Conservative party funds.

I grew up with Thomas the Tank and quite frankly I'm cynical of what any politician says, not down to Thomas but due to watching the manure coming from their mouths for years (I've watched the news since I was 5)

Seriously, its a kids TV programme, go and research something that will benefit humanity for goodness sake.

Over analysis can be damaging to your mental health.

AT&T to choke your iPhone

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network management reality

All UK mobile operators and unlimited ISPs should take note.

Technically there is no such thing as unlimited and the best way to control usage on your network is to charge for bandwidth and plough a portion of the revenue back into additional capacity/network upgrades not subject users to a dire service just to deliver on marketing messages.

Bada smartphone to debut H1 2010


Though I could say

It would probably be Tony Soprano's choice of phone


I've been beaten

To the obvious Bada Bing joke so I guess I'll have to say something intelligent.

AC Posted Tuesday 8th December 2009 17:51 GMT makes an excellent point about there being too many phone OSes about

SE does have the right idea in just developing the phone OS around its core function of being a err, phone

Motorola's banana-mutilation ad disses iPhone


Good marketing, shame about the product

Google is a wannabe MS but is far more dangerous than MS.

Muswell Hillbillies force BT to move broadband boxes


Maybe we should

Deport them to the States so they can go and live anongst the Amish and not hold back the country.

Sodding luddites!

BlackBerrys get stuck on NFC


There are some things money cant buy

For everything else there's this Mastercard sticker

Don't have quite the same ring does it?

Lost mobiles to pile up in taxis in run up to Xmas

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@Andy Blackburn

If the person calls their phone and a cabbie answers it, how exactly would that excuse work then?

Think it through before posting.

I've left my mobile on my desk 'and thought sod it I'll get it tomorrow' when leaving work but never in a cab.

One day without a mobile is no loss at all.

Cathay Pacific clobbered by kaput khazis


Not accepting customer input

Haven't laughed so much in ages

Great stuff, toilet humour

Apple cult leader emails outside world

Jobs Horns

He could change it to

MDeath as that is when it's used and Jobs hasn't trademarked the letter M yet, has he?

Does show him up for the heartless greedy bastard he is though.

As for choice of platform/device I choose whatever does whatever job best.

I own an iPod Nano and have purchased some tracks from iTunes because it connects to my stereo and Apple had the tracks I wanted.

I use a dual boot XP/Ubuntu system because stuff I run needs Windows and I like to tinker with Ubuntu.

I own a Nokia 6700 because I'm not a sheep.

Police fail to dampen down bonfire night Westminster protest



Its about time we reminded these overpaid scroungers (MPs that is) that they work for us not the other way round.

I'd like to see a mass march on London by a large majority of the population next.

Student boffins take on iTunes' not-so-smart Genius


The Shadows

I'm a broad minded 27 year old

I like Trance, classical and The Shadows, Dire Straits, Johnny Cash, Lenny Kravitz and Jimi Hendrix

Leave these good artists alone and label me I dare you.

Yank slams El Reg 'zio-fruitcake' Playmobil 'crap'


American humour

Think his comments prove that a certain proportion of yanks have no idea what humour is.

After all, how can you explain Friends?

Crawl back under your stone my friend as you will never understand how side splittingly funny these reconstructions are.

Mixing news with humour while winding up the staff by asking where the IT angle is constitutes the very essence of the site which is why I visit every day as it gives me a good laugh.

Don't like ti? There are plenty of other sites to spend your time on so off you go.

Keep up the stirling work Lester

Your phone is winding me up


A wind up charger would be better

But wonder how long I'd have to crank it for to charge a Nokia 6700?

O2 Showdown hands out gongs



Will a phone manufacturer please release a device that trounces the bloody iPhone as I truly am fed up of hearing about it now.

Facebook acquires 300 millionth user


tried it, hated it

Probably the world's most boring website.

Orange biz picks up web security



Get out!

Nokia lets operators screw with customise the N900


When will they realise

That all we want is a PHONE that works and not to be carrying about a device that we eventually pay for that doubles as free ad space for them.

Ofcom website takes second day off


Its up again

It would appear

T-Orange: How it's going to work


As they do fixed and mobile phones its got to be

Phone a la Orange.

Failing that I think I ain't Spartacus has the right idea in calling it t'Orange

t'future's bright. t'future's t'Orange

Have to agree though they were a much more interesting company when Hans Snook was in charge and they built a house with voice controlled everything

Microsoft pimps bogus Windows 7 'launch parties'


Apple not off the hook

How about the stage managed hysteria surrounding the iCon sorry iPhone

But this is also rather lame

Handset makers, the criminal's friend


Oh dear

Looks like the loons are out in force and you haven't properly read the article.

I'm pretty sure what Bill was saying was that in cases such as that of murder or even if someone dies of a heart attack while out on their own it should be possible for law enforcement to retrieve information to perhaps let next of kin know that their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/son/daughter or whoever has been killed and to aid in the detection of the crime or do you think we should let murders walk free and victims be buried anonymously?

Hmmm thought so.

While I'm definitely against mass surveillance I do think police should have access to devices in cases like this.

Here's hoping you never suffer such things.

Campaign for official Turing apology gathers steam


How about

a posthumous knighthood?

Cat awarded online high school diploma


Kind of makes me want to....

Set up a site offering certificates in just about anything

Anyone want a certificate for getting up before 10 a.m. at 50 quid each?

Virgin hijacks empty pages

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Don't mess with the DNS

If an ISP cant make enough money from subs to keep its network ticking over and make a profit then it deserves to go out of business.

The reason Virgin etc can't make moeny is because they are crap.

Morrissey tells netdepressives to boycott his re-releases


Important lesson here

If you are a successful musician you should set up your own label which you transfer your rights to but retain 100% control of.

I'm sure he hopes that Warner are the first of the gang to die (sorry can't add anymore to this because most of the time I couldn't make out what he was bloody saying)

Amazon cloud gets mega storage escape hatch

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cloud storage flaw

I think we've found out why the cloud isn't the future as this kind of seems pretty pointless unless what they are actually sending is program code to be instaslled in the cloud as using it for data storage obviously isn't practical unless database and the programs that query it are both in the same cloud and the operation doesn't require the transfer of massive amounts of data otherwise Amazon's internal bandwidth will be quickly clogged up.

All this cloud stuff sounds impressive but it still comes down to individual storage, servers and networking appliances so its just shifting the management headache.

US bank deposits checks via iPhone camera


If only in the UK

This should be implemtned as a Java app like Monilink and would be a lot easier than going into a branch or having to post cheques.


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