Over my cold dead boner!
Posts by Jo 5
70 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Jul 2009
Brits must prove their age on adult sites by July, says watchdog
Veeam adds support for VMware alternative Proxmox to its backup software
You can ring my #bellogate. EMAIL STORM hits 29,000 hapless UCL students
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Salesforce plan to rename London skyscraper 'Salesforce Tower' DEMOLISHED
IT jargon is absolutely REAMED with sexual double-entendres

yep that's part of the relief of the job
As a sysadmin for too many years most of this IT double entendre is what makes it just abotu bearable.
Examples:
Working with French guys on software releases which they insisted on calling not versions but virgins. That joke never got old. Ooo lala ziz is ze best virgin now. Or zat virgin is bugged etc etc.
Lots of "I have checked your box and its very dusty"...
Lots of multiplayer gaming with port issues and "have you fingered by port yet?" (yes i know finger is a unix email info tool but we mashed i into a double E anyway.
and lest we forget fat pipes, floppies, and gender benders.
Alienware injects EVEN MORE ALIEN into redesigned Area-51 gaming PC
Re: Slanted hard disk bays???
erm no it doesn't matter anyway. Did you ever play with a gyroscope as a kid?
Also if you wish take a disk you don't care much for, run it loosely connected to a PC wait for it to spin up when reading it, then lift it up in your hand - it will act just like a gyroscope and will have a will of its own.
just saying.
NSA man: 'Tell me about your Turkish connections'
that's nothing
i went thru memphis once (US wife, been to US maybe 25 times, Im an old hand at this stuff) and the finger print scanner decided to break at just the moment it was my turn. Much eye brow raising, retrying, examining my fingers under a magnifying glass, retrying, swabbing my fingers (shit scary as i might hve rolled the odd hashish joint in the preceding weeks) retrying, eventually sent to back room with some majorly sweating russians, chinese, and vietnamese rejects). 30 mins later called back, they'd fixed the scanner.
"So you doing any hunting over here while with your folks? " big cheezy grin.
I could have punched him.
Catch cack-handed baggage handlers in the act with Ericsson's SPY SUITCASE
Neil Young touts MP3 player that's no Piece of Crap
How a Facebook post by blabbermouth daughter cost her parents $80,000
I want SDN and I want it now!
Brilliant Brit bloke builds breakfast-belching BACON DRONE
Microsoft hires Pawn Stars to shaft Google
'It's a joke!' ... Bill Gates slams Mark Zuckerberg's web-for-the-poor dream
yeah right
He said no one would be using paper in offices and all would be using MS tablets by now. Was he right?
No, he is laughably wrong.
So if all those 1st world teens using FB are busily self harming then lets not worry too much about some pot-bellied-covered-in-flies-malaria-cholera-stricken kids getting some FarmVille action in!
/irony alert.
Billionaire Google founder splits with wife, allegedly beds Google Glass staffer
BALLMER TO RETIRE FROM MICROSOFT
Microsoft warns of post-April zero day hack bonanza on Windows XP
Do you really want tech companies to pay more tax?
UK gov's smart meter dream unplugged: A 'colossal waste of cash'
Samsung Galaxy S3 explodes, turns young woman into 'burnt pig'
Google staffing boss: Our old hiring procedures were 'worthless'
Gates and Allen reshoot historic 1981 Microsoft photo
Firefox: Use new stealth window to satisfy your wife, suggests Mozilla
SimCity owners get free game, EA will get A NEW CEO

Re: Not too shabby 'are you kidding?'
I nearly bought this game but then remembered that i had already boycotted EA for any future purchases. So saved myself some heartache there. I can say this with no fear of libel: EA are a bunch of fucktards rapidly sucking the life out of gamers and coders who have no passion for games themselves - hell i bet the CEO's are not and have never been gamers.
Huawei USB modems vulnerable
Big Blighty telcos ordered to block three BitTorrent search sites
Cambridge boffins reveal prehistoric prawn monster
Baby-boulder bowling burglar breaks Boulder Apple Store's $100k glass door
Facebook burnout: 61% of users have needed a break
BANG and the server's gone: Man gets 8 months for destroying work computers
Apple users: Only Apple can track us! Not Google

Dear Appletards
Nothing is free on this planet. Even your death will cost your next of kin a bomb. If you don't want Google trying to make a living off supplying products and services to you then stop using all google products FFS.
Maybe you could try Bing?!
Queue maniacal evil laugh muhahahahahaaaaaa
PGP, TrueCrypt-encrypted files CRACKED by £300 tool

nested encryption
You can defeat this and any future vulns by having an encrypted operating system inside a encrypted partition, then within that create an encrypted partition, and then within that create what Trucrypt call a hidden encrypted partition. Use 4 different passphrases.
But if the russian mafia or the cia special interrogation unit want you to give up your passphrases with a hot iron and some pliers, or a wet towel, then even if you are andy mcnabb you will eventually be handing them over.
Feds probe naked Scarlett Johansson outrage

wt...?
Honestly I dont see what all the fuss is about. I've seen the pics online, shes a nice girl, shes got a lovely bum and great boobs. She should be proud that so many men and women want to ogle her. I cant write here what i woudl do with her assets but they would be done with the utmost respect.
End of...
Facebook flashplodder to appeal against 4-yr cooler stint
Swede cuffed for cooking nuclear reactor on kitchen stovetop
Apple recalls 1TB Seagate HDDs
Hackers pierce network with jerry-rigged mouse

that figures
"Department of Homeland Security released results from a recent test that showed 60 percent of employees who picked up foreign computer discs and USB thumb drives in the parking lots of government buildings and private contractors" are epicly stupid. Even the Greeks aren't this dumb.
Spooks' secret TEMPEST-busting tech reinvented by US student
YouTube punts filth to shocked Reg readers
Man found guilty of battery after ejaculating in co-worker's drink
Scareware mongers cough up $8m to settle fraud charges

Personally...
personally - having seen this 4 times in my own house (2 infections completely inexplicable and not caused by internet newbies but power users) I would make these guys cut their own balls off with a rusty knife and feed them to pigs at gunpoint.
Harsh maybe but this kind of crime causes misery for millions.