Posts by Lockwood

So, that vast IT disaster you may have caused? Come in, sit down

I can be upgradings your accountings to a grade that is belong your current gradings

Re: scaringly interesting

Don't piss this guy off. If you do, you'll wake up with a floppy drive motor on your pillow, and if you aren't careful, you'll have an accident where you were walking home over a canal bridge and accidentally slipped, in the process of that, accidentally getting your feet caught up in old PC chassis, and accidentally binding your wrists with some CAT5e that you happened to be carrying.

Google.eggfaced: Chocolate Factory spaffs cash in dot-word bungle

Is free ringding. It only costs £29.99 for the first three months then £59.99 for the next 6 months and £89.99 a month after that!

Is good ringding!

I want .cmo and .couk

Please be visiting your friends on facebook.cmo! Enterings your credit cards to continue.

Please be signings up for extra Register content at http://www.theregister.couk/premier for early releasings! Only £49.99 a month!

Re: URLs such as dogs.are/cute or fast.est/swimmer

Haven't we had "http://kickme.to/somewhere" and similar a while back, usually to redirect to "http://home.isp.com/users/~user123" or "http://www.geocities.com/area51/31337"?

Microsoft's offices gutted in Athens arson attack

Re: A van full of gas and petrol ?

I was going to say...

"We have no money! Let's buy petrol and set fire to it!"

Re: Currency conversion

The "Internet Exchange Rate". Gotta love it.

Re: "The fire brigade estimates the damage to the building at around 60,000 (£48,000, $75,000),"

Let me check my calendar...

DDR 4 sets the pace for fast memory

Re: @Lockwood

Aha!

So, it needs them to be filled to work at the plated speed, rather than needing them to work at all?

"One of the consequences of a point-to-point design is that every DIMM slot needs to be filled to maximise performance."

Does this mean the return of the 0MB stick that we used to need in days gone by for rimbus?

Even Apples sometimes have worms in them, admits Cupertino

Multicultural AIDS Coalition

Huawei Ascend G300 budget Android

Will never be allowed to sell.

Phone. Check.

Rounded corners. Check.

SWipe finger from one point on scren to another to unlock. Check. (If my last Android phone was anything to go by)

I'm sure a Foxconn rebrander will prohibit its sales.

That new 'Microsoft GCSE': We reveal what's in it

Re: What's in a name?

I apologise.

We used it once. 10 years ago. I made a cube.

Something made me think it was "MS AutoCAD 2000"

The basic point still stands though that we were taught to use MS products back then...

At college, I taught the programming lecturer how to do some neat programming tricks.

And by that, I mean "functions built in to the language"

Brit judge orders Facebook to rip masks from anonymous cowards

Alpha Tony

Thumbs up for your choice of drink.

Hardy handymen handed handy hardened handheld hardware

Which took longer, comingup with the article copy text or coming up with the article headline?

Fate of dot-word bids decided by ICANN archery shoot-out

What does Google plan to do with 50 new top-level domains?

Simple.

http://google.google

Wow. I had to fight off putting .com at the end of that.

Apple-Moto patent gripe almost thrown out the door

Doesn't this just mean that Apple won't be able to sue Motorola over Patent X again, only?

As in, they can persue some other firm over Patent X, or Motorola for Patent Y, Patent Z, etc?

NHS fights record £325k ICO fine after clap records appear on eBay

Re: Picking on government agencies again

I had a slight rant the first time this came up.

Good that the NHS are challenging it.

To the people who say that heads should roll in the NHS, I ask you why?

You ask me to do a task.

I say that I will do the task.

I get Bob down the pub to do the task.

Bob fails.

You get in deep poopies because of Bob's action.

Free Windows 8 desktop app development is dead

Re: Absolutely

Of course not, but the trend seems to be to want to run at Metro with pitchforks and torches before it's really had a chance to come out.

I distinctly rememebr all the "Early Learning Centre" comments made about XP, for example.

"Big red X buttons", people used to say. "Dumbing it right down, are they?"

And now these same people are saying "8?! No. I'll stick with XP."

Evaluating thumbs down

I'm intrigued as to whether the thumbs down are for:

Keeping a fairly open mind a Microsoft decision, and not jumping on the hate bandwagon

A comment that speaks against Linux, or

A comment that speaks against St Jobs

Which is why we still have the option of standard WinForms (Except VS Express, which is not designed to be a fully robust environment anyway).

There is a large trend towards fondleslabs now, I've got a 2005 one (which W8 doesn't like all that much), and I can see that some people would benefit from having such similarities between their fixed system and their mobile system.

I'm not fully defending the Metro interface, it did take me a short while to get used to it. After getting used to it, I keep trying to double click the control box to close an app only to switch to Metro and back(!).

Given the changes between DP and CP based on feedback and the improvements made there, I'd guess that the next release will be more refined again.

Didn't people have similar gripes 17 years ago?

You're getting rid of Program Manager and forcing us to use a desktop?! It's the end of the world! You're forcing us to change! Noone will like this Start button idea! Give us back our program groups! I don't care I can change the SHELL= line in win.ini to point to progman.exe, I want it like that out of the box! Waaa.

TvTropes would call this "They Changed It, Now It Sucks" and I would reckon that a percentage of these people would come under "Complaining About Shows You Don't Watch", seeing Metro as just another thing as to why Windoze r teh sux0r and why Linux and teh macs are teh r00lz.

So, to summarise that: A lot of changes got complained about at first and then were liked and haters gonna hate.

Self-driving Volvos cover 200km of busy Spanish motorway

Re: Here's a thought...

The promo picture shows you can kick back and READ AT THE WHEEL.

I fail to see where this is A Good Thing (TM)

Re: What about all the unprogrammed exceptions?

What happens when you follow the lorry to the Sainsbury's distribution centre?

Let's assume you get through the gate and it doens't squash you as it auto-closes.

Let's assume you don't have to deal with a rising anti-ram bollard.

The lorry has pulled in, and as now about to reverse into a loading bay. Your car is also going to try to do this. Probably with hilarious results.

Now, before anyone says "The driver would notice and take control", we're talking about people who are going to be busy trying to lick their tyres (Thanks, Pete!) and if they didn't have the car driving itself would happily cross a flooded ford because the SatNav told them to, or would "turn left in 100 yards" up the level crossing rather than the junction just beyond the level crossing.

Worried

All well and good until something goes wrong.

The lady reading at the wheel will notice something has gone wrong, and by the time she reassumes a ready position, it is too late.

This would work, so long as the driver remains available to take control.

Also, if the driver is left to get on with other stuff, they'll end up following a random lorry into the HGV parking area of Sandbach MSA, not notice this then get hit with a parking invoice from CP Plus for parking a car in the HGV area, and being there for over 2 hours.

Aga cooks up phone-controlled 'iOven'

Re: This make me angry

There's a fondleslab for that.

Just turn the new iPad on, and run its smooth surface over your clothing.

Confused

I always put ovens in the category of "Things you don't go outside when they're running"

Real Networks will refund $2m to grumpy punters

Wow.

RealPlayer! AltaVista!

I suddenly feel 10 years younger!

Another NHS trust coughs up £90k fine for lax fax acts

FFS.

NHS, stop dong silly things with data.

ICO, stop fining the population for the NHS' error.

I know I say this on each of these stories, but it's getting silly now.

I still can't rememebr a private company that El Reg has reported being fined by the ICO, it's always either a local authority or the NHS.

At last! A use for Blighty's phone-boxes: Free Wi-Fi hotspots

Re: what kind of person stops to use a Spectrum access point

You win 1 internets.

Please give me your details and then download a coupon to redeem it.

Let’s send 3D printers TO THE MOON

Re: Recursive production

Just punch the moon rock for a while.

Kaspersky: Apple security is like Microsoft's in 2002

Thumbs up to the fanbois for proving 3.

1: Macs are flawless, I am constantly told.

2: "XProtect"? Isn't that a bit close at the front to "XP"? I'm surprised that "Ice Cream" isn't at risk for a similar sounding name to iScream, which looks like an apple product.

3: I'm pretty sure this'll get thumbbed down by many fanbois

Skype slurping software threatens IP exposure

I had a hilarious moment in 2010, I wanted to phone ComReg in RoI before I crossed the border to check something.

I was told that to direct dial from the hotel (in NI) would cost a fortune, and that my mobile would cost a fair bit, too.

I decided to call my Brighton SkypeOut number to call the RoI and take it from my Skype credit at something like 1.1p a minute.

Calling RoI from NI via England. Woohoo.

(Of course, ComReg didn't have anyone in the department I needed, so I ended up trying a backup plan and seeing if Ofcom could advise me, which they grudgingly did)

I use SkypeOut to get free 0800 calls from my mobile!

Welsh NHS fined £70k for patient psych file leak blunder

And again the ICO are fining the public purse. STOPPIT!!!

Is the public sector that bad with data, or is the ICO scared of going after the private firms? It seems very disproprtionate the number of reported cases of public vs private.

Official: Britain staggers into double-dip recession doom

Re: not the coalitions fault,

I'm not saying that that is a valid answer, just that saying "We were fine before the new government" is also not a valid answer

I laugh at how everyone says this is the coalition's fault... Forgetting it started in 2008. Internationally.

I am not defending the coalition; I am pointing out blatant logic errors.

Also, wasn't the massive increase in fuel sales meant to fix everything?

Suspected freetloaders to face piracy letters in 2014

Re: @Crisp

Oh, that's good!

Re: Red Dwarf - Polymorph

I think we're losing sight of the real issue here, which is: what are they going to call the team that sends the letters?

The Committee for the Location and Irradication of Technological Outlaws and their Rehabilitation Into Society?

Online criminal records checks to save Surrey council £300k

Re: It's not done 'caue you didn't like it.

I thought it was scrapped because it'd cost money to design and implement, but soldiering on with the current scheme wouldn't (running costs notwithstanding)

I've had CRBs take years to turn around before now.

Anything to speed the process up would be awesome.

'I'm no visionary': Torvalds up for $1.3m life-changing gong

Re: @Lockwood

@Dave Bell: That's how I read it, too.

Interesting to see the number of ups and downs I got...

If the award were for technologies, Linus may well be more deserving than the other guy.

Let's think about his.

Life changing... "I did some OS coding stuff" vs "I have stuff that can do cool medical stuff"

I'd go for stemcell guy over linux guy.

Valve seeks geek to design 'platform hardware'

They'll create V1 of it.

They'll create V2 of it.

They'll create V2r1 of it.

They'll create V2r2 of it.

One thing that has amazed me with Valve is that they do this great software, and they're wanting to work with hardware, yet they cannot count above 2!

Also, please insert your own joke about how small that device looks, Gabe's fatrolls and needing a Search & Rescue team. I don't want to delay Ep 3 by another month, so I'm giving you guys the tools to do it yourself!

Facebook logins easily slurped from iOS, Android kit

Re: "Facebook was already aware of the problem and working on a fix"

As I said, it is a temporary problem.

It'll be fixed by 4002.

Facebook are aware of this "temporary" problem and have announced that a fix will come out soon

Yes, Prime Minister to return after 24 years

Will this be a good idea?

Yes.

And no.

Chinese to burn iPads in upcoming celebrations

Just think about this tradition in a more global sense.

All these angry Afghan people are sending their glorious honoured dead American flags!