Posts by Barracoder

Sam Altman's chip ambitions may be loonier than feared

I support him

Roko's Basilisk is a very persuasive argument

In its tantrum with Europe, Apple broke web apps in iOS 17 beta, still hasn't fixed them

The EU is a cancer

The unintended consequences of EU meddling strike again. Government by technocratic committee was always a stupid idea.

Rocket Lab is a David among Goliaths in the space race

Re: Which rocket?

As a Cult of Musk devotee you are quite correct in your assessment that this report will be viewed with the kind of disdain normally associated with Daily Mail crosswords and karaoke - it's a poor attempt.

It's much more fun when you try harder, Reg.

Europe's monopoly cops suddenly rather curious about Microsoft's $13B for OpenAI

The EU looking into a company for potentially distorting market dynamics is bit bloody rich

Musk said Twitter would open source its algorithm – then fired the people who could

Re: Time to die

It looks like Twitter will be profitable soon, judging by the latest reports so the demise of Twitter will not be at all imminient. In fact, it looks a lot like Elon is going to make another fortune.

Twitter preps poison pill to preclude Elon Musk's purchase plan

Re: 'I have much trouble agreeing with'

Don't complain then when someone who is more tolerant wants to buy the pub.

What is WebAssembly? And can you really compile C/C++ to it? And it'll run in browsers? Allow us to explain in this gentle introduction

Silverlight rears its mishapen head above the churned, corrupted earth

I think I can safely miss this wave.

EmDrive? More like BS drive: Physics-defying space engine flunks out

In that case

If it's the test rig causing the thrust then demonstrate the thrust using just the test rig and no engine...

Escape from the Zuckerborg: WhatsApp founder legs it

WhatsApp stickiness

The only thing that is keeping me on WhatsApp right now is the horrible thought of trying to teach my mother how to use another messaging app.

US voting server in election security probe is mysteriously wiped

Re: @big?_john

@wallaby

It’s not that you’re smarter than the Trump supporters who read the Register. It’s just that there’s more of you so we tend to keep our heads down.

It’s really not worth the hassle.

Asteroid Florence buzzes Earth, brings two moons along for the ride

That's no moon....

A ridge around the equator and at least 1 large crater...?

Gulp.

Hacker exposed bank loophole to buy luxury cars and a face tattoo

Re: ACID, I blame ACID

I think what we're looking at here is two, possibly ACID, systems that had agreed to disagree on the use of UTC.

SpaceX spin-out plans to put virtual machines in orbit

Cooling should be cheaper

But apart from the obvious heat sink advantages, I do wonder about the wisdom of getting Citrix involved.

Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

Aluta continua!

It's so much funnier if they keep blacklisting you but, please, don't stop asking!

You've seen things people wouldn't believe – so tell us your programming horrors

do(monica)

{

....

}until(mary++)

?

Natural geothermal heat under Antarctic ice: 'Surprisingly high'

Re: It puzzles me too

associating it with climate change doesn't really help

It didn't help that the AGW crowd has been associating global warming with the melting of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet, or it doesn't really help that it looks like volcanism is doing it?

Cisco posts kit to empty houses to dodge NSA chop shops

There's no such thing as "government coin"

It's called "my money".

SMASH the Bash bug! Apple and Red Hat scramble for patch batches

Thank you...

...to the Phantom Downvoter, for amusing me with your single, stark downvotes on anyone who complains about downvotes.

'Windows 9' LEAK: Microsoft's playing catchup with Linux

Windows has had this since 2006.

Mark Russinovich wrote a multi-desktop add-on ages ago.

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-gb/sysinternals/cc817881.aspx

VIDEO SELFIE DRONE: 'AirDog' UAV follows you everywhere you go

Slap drones!

Iain Banks is looking down smugly.

Chinese iWatchers: Apple's WRISTPUTERS ALREADY in production

Sure....

Because we need something else to charge every 7 hours....

BBC hacks – tweet the crap out of the news, cries tech-dazzled Trust

Great article

"The middle class talking to themeselves" I couldn't have phrased it better.

'Weird' OBJECT, PROPELLED by its OWN JETS, spotted beyond Mars orbit by Hubble

6 jets?

Thats exactly the number a spaceship would need for attitude control. Has anyone seen Elon Musk lately?

Boffins have constructed a new LIGHT SABRE. Their skills are complete

Finally!

Now where is my hoverboard?

Tencent offers 10TB of free cloud storage for all

Re: Depends on the data...

My media horde are too busy pillaging to waste their time in any Chinese cloud.

Mobe app makers doubt Windows 8 will be worth the hassle - poll

Re: If only...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Sure, Java already does that, AFAYK. Right.

Microsoft releases JavaScript alternative

Re: What...

If you're a developer, do yourself (and your client) a big favour and stick to standards. Don't get caught in the "standards-plus" trap - it will cost you dearly to escape.

What, like Ajax, that non-standards-compliant addition to the browser by Microsoft that, oh I don't know, made the whole Web 2.0 revolution possible?

Standards are only worth following as long as they are not enforcing technological stagnation.

Climate sceptic becomes UK Environment Secretary

Re: Misnomer

By your standards then, Creationism/Intelligent Design is a theory? Fails every scientific test but might possibly still be true?

Thanks but I'll stick to science and I'm sure you'll forgive me my skepticism.

Re: Misnomer

I'm going to be a skeptic until the day some Warmist uses his model to make a prediction that actually comes true. Until then, climate change isn't even a theory, it's a guess.

Because that's how science works.

More Steve Jobs iPad mini attacks from beyond the grave

I've had a chat to the wife

10" is always better than 7".

Assange takes refuge in Ecuadorian embassy

There's a reason for stereotypes

Let me get this straight. An Australian travelling in Europe shags some Swedish birds who get angry when they find out about each other and gang up on him, runs away to London and crashes at his mate's girlfriend's pal's house for a while. After a while, he gets into a bit of trouble, borrows some cash from his pals and then disappears, only to resurface in Ecuador, with a tan?

Well, I definitely didn't see that coming.

Record-breaking laser pulse boosts fusion power hopes

Only two decades away!

Or maybe only 19 years and 364 days away now, excluding leap years.

Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

Actually, Gaia loves CO2....

For the record, we're currently living in a period of exceptionally low CO2 levels, by normal Earth standards. The only notable period with similiarly low CO2 levels is the Carboniferous Period, during which, ironically, all our coal was laid down.

Nuke support in UK hits record high

The government??

I'd prefer it if the government got out of the way completely and just left the market to get on with it. Nothing annoys me more than seeing my tax going to publicise crap insulaion schemes or, even worse, subsidising windmills.

The environment is far too important to be left to the idiots in govenment.

Russian Mars probe heads into space WITHOUT ENGINES

Insurance?

Russians? Insurance? Has anyone had a look to see if there's a suspiciously satellite-looking thing lying under a tarp in the bacl of the lab?

BlackBerry stumbles to feet, full of apologies

Factor 1000 SPF

Single point of failure. 'Nuff said.

Paris, because I love her 'nuff.

Chaos feared after Unix time-zone database is nuked

Seriously, you Unix guys crack me up

Are you seriously saying a time server that's critical to the performance of your OS was running on some guy's home FTP server?

And that not one of you, ever, thought this was a bad idea?

Not one of you had the foresight to check that the guy holding your balls hadn't nicked half his data from a commercial database?

If you were working for me I'd fire the hell out of your incompetent asses.

72point AllCaps Fail.

Microsoft delivers fatal blow to yet another botnet

I thought about it

and you're an idiot. 'nuff said.

Gimp mask, because I wish you had a zipper

Red Hat engineer renews attack on Windows 8-certified secure boot

And the prize for Most Egregiously OTT Comment goes to....

"Microsoft - They are the second most evil company in the world (after Monsanto)"

Really.

Paris, because she's hOTT.

UBS tells IT contractors: Take a 10% pay cut ... or 100%

If your contract is with Harvey Nash, not UBS...

...why would anyone take a cut? If you have any brains at all go to Harvey Nash, show them the schedule on page 1 of your contract and tell them to take at least half of the cut. And if they say no, Lloyds are hiring....

Hackers dump secret info for thousands of cops

Hardly.

They have all our info and have no qualms about using it. Now we have theirs.

Democracy at work.

First reports on XM-25 Judge Dredd smartgun in A'Stan

Not exactly

More like a kick up your arse would be effective, you idiotic, fifth column, Guardian-reader.

Microsoft Windows guru turns to cybercrime (fiction)

Thank you for being so insane.

Don't stress so much - alien space bats will save the day.

Apache loses Java showdown vote to Oracle

COBOL

I was going to say that Java is rapidly becoming the enw COBOL but that's not even true - with the discrepancy between the rate at which servers get recycled and the rate at which the JVM get's updated, I think Java's got about 5 more years before you can only run it reliably on legacy servers.

First official HTML5 tests topped by...Microsoft

M$

Anyone who uses "M$" as an abbreviation shows themselves in one stroke to be an utter fucking loon who should go back to their cave.

Googl€-hater

Apple threatens Java with death on the Mac

Lives on. Like a zombie.

No support on Windows. No support on OS/X. Pretty soon all that codswallop about Java's portability will finally come true because the only platform it will be on is Android.

US Special Ops robot whispercopter crashes in Belize

Just Kill It!

Since when did Nike start building BlackOps kit?

Greenland ice loss rates 'one-third' of what was thought

No Title Required

How do you get "anti-science" out of this article? Firstly, "climate science" isn't a science, it's bad software, bad statistics and, damningly, policy-driven. Secondly, reporting that things aren't as bad as the policy wonks have been telling us doesn't make this bad science unless you, like many AGW-apologists, are conflating "belief" with "proof". From my side, I'll go with the actual numbers, not the tree ring proxies, thanks.

Paris, because there's no Wozniacki photo.

Scottish iSchool goes 100% iPad

Physician, heal thyself

If you're going to start criticising someone's choice of educational hardware and proselytising Googles (sic) lesson plans, you'll find you'd be taken a lot more seriously if you could speak English correctly.

"Could have", or "could've". Never "could of".

"Toughened". Never "toughended".

"Thick angry twat". Never "Anonymous Coward"

It looks like your school had quite enough budget cuts, thank you very much.