* Posts by Ian 5

33 posts • joined 17 Jul 2009

Lester Haines: RIP

Ian 5


Thoughts for his family, and friends. A man like Lester comes along rarely.

Flip board fails to get science right...

Ian 5

Flip board fails to get science right...

Browsing the generally 'OK' Flipboard on my mobile, came across an interesting article on neanderthal genealogy... At least I thought so... But then...


Time to delete this widget forthwith.

The moment I read the words *unraveling the theory of evolution*, it all became clear.

Flipboard clearly cannot categorise science with the requisite level of accuracy.

Who should play the next Doctor? Nominations needed!

Ian 5

Given that he thinks that he's saving the world & dog from itself...

St. Julian Assange. Weird, persecution complex, self aggrandisement, disappears for months on end, and nobody really likes.. Plus it'd get him out for a bit of one to one with Her Majesty's finest.

Murdoch hate sparks mass bitchin', rapid evacuation from O2, BE

Ian 5

Another Plusnet refugee

Yes, I can also attest to the exemplary service from BE. Always helpful, fast and accurate. I thanked the guy closing my account for the time they've served me well. I sincerely hope that they move on to jobs where they can excel again, as I doubt that they will be retained. Good staff don't seem to be required under Murdoch's group. And frankly I've little time for an organisation that fractures terrestrial rights to sporting events. F1 anybody?

Go, because I got my MAC from BE within 5 minutes of asking for it.

UK.gov stalks jobless online to axe work refuseniks' benefits

Ian 5

Why not on the job centre screens?

Last time (2001) I was on the job-seekers allowance (whittling down the kids' savings accounts), there were little touch-screen panels showing you that there were apple-picking jobs in Norfolk - you could print out little chits on thermal paper for contact details and the like.

Why, if the man wants to have the jobless (not feckless) apply through any kind of centralised system, do the job centres not integrate an 'apply now' button against their registered id? This could simply bounce your details, CV and location through to the employer directly.

I sympathise with those who have no internet connection, or ability to pay for 2-500 stamps for mailshots and/or phone calls. It can be a pricey time when you are trying to save every penny.

Instagram back-pedals in face of user outrage

Ian 5

Great big turds

Never used Instagram, but now I'm tempted to install it and photograph every pile of dog shite that I come across... I'll be happy for them to use those.

Search engines we have known ... before Google crushed them

Ian 5

Re: hmmm

Luxury! 28Kbps for us proles...

Frack me! UK shale gas bonanza 'bigger than North Sea oil'

Ian 5

Am I the only one to recall the 1980's experiments with Fraking? Caused me no end of late nights round at my mate's house, then cycling home with no lights down pitch-black muddy dirt tracks.

Happy days:


Linux kernel dumps 386 chip support

Ian 5

Re: How not to build a 32-bit CPU

I would though like my PC to still have a turbo button, with a blocky 7 segment display to show my clock speed...

20MHz? Nooooooo <click>TURBO POWER</click) 33MHz!

Ah... memories. Overclocking was never so easy again...

Apple shares take biggest one-day hammering in 4 years

Ian 5

Re: The venomous Leach at it again

There were a few hanging off DVD recorders in Comet at the weekend - £275 (and that was with the clearance discount).

Wait... Comet... Oh yeah.

New Microsoft Windows chief 'shocked' by Sinofsky defenestration

Ian 5
Paris Hilton

Re: Keeping the skeleton in the closet

Just how weird must the pr0n have been?!

Paris for the last Tango.

El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up

Ian 5

That global warming lady's backside.


Amazon Kindle Paperwhite review

Ian 5
Black Helicopters

Re: Obsolete by well over 10 years

"... in the coming months we will roll out KF8 to our latest generation Kindle e-ink devices as well as our free Kindle reading apps."

Have been seeing this line on their site for several months now... I'm an interested party only because I have to produce content for these things.

Maybe when they turn a decent profit in the UK they'll be able to invest in finally getting it out to the grubby unwashed e-ink readers. Frankly I don't care any more, with the evasive performance they put in regarding their piss-poor tax avoidance regimen I'm not filling their coffers any more.

Cisco sets ex-CIA spook to hunt down leaking staffer

Ian 5

I am Spartacus


Google's UK grip slips a bit, brutal dominance basically unshaken

Ian 5

Re: Pondering

Same here - I'm pretty disgusted with the likes of Starbucks and Google.

Try using Quintura: www.quintura.com - I really miss searchbastard.com though, search results with abuse...

Microsoft Surface popped open, poked, prodded

Ian 5

Can we please use taupe for all indicators in future... it has a wide variety of tones, and makes just as much sense to me - or any variation of colour-blindness...

'Hypersensitive' Wi-Fi hater loses case against fiendish DEVICES

Ian 5

I have this sensitivity myself!

I feel for this man, as I also frequently experience a crippling headache, an inability to think properly and a difficult to articulate - much lower level - nauseous gut feeling whenever I am exposed to my ex-wifey too.

Dealing with this has been so expensive that I am now practically destitute... Won't someone think of the children?!

Google settles epic US book-scanning battle with 5 publishers

Ian 5

Re: This is the worrying bit:

Duh. Financial terms will have been maintained non-disclosed because it is frankly none of anyone else's business. Many 'out of court' settlements are done with the same condition - it may not suit our prying eyes, but so what?

In many cases the authors will have been paid a flat fee for their works; where authors have royalties arrangements with the publisher then they (the publishers) are legally bound to pay accordingly to distribution.

This is not (just) about damages for potentially lost sales - each of these publishers have invested 5 years trying to get the issue addressed - whatever sum is paid, it almost certainly won't cover the cost expended in resources.

Rolling robot avatar trumps telecommuting

Ian 5

Re: Its worse than that ...

Yeah, but imagine the fun the office-bound flunkies can have with sellotape, cardboard boxes and aforementioned instuments of human extermination. It wouldn't last long looking as minimalist as that in our office - FOV games would have it properly dressed without the home-worker schmuck having a clue. 10:1 says it would have deelie boppers before it rolled 6 inches.

Cars, lorries stalked via GPS to create live traffic super-map

Ian 5

Break lights?

Damn... my car needs these; brake lights are not enough.

Skydiving daredevil Baumgartner leaps from 96,000ft

Ian 5
Paris Hilton

3:06 - seriously?!

WTF - is that really chest hair?!

I mean, Kudos to Felix, but that guy... just... wow.

Paris, she has stuff to hold onto there.

New UK curriculum ramps up lessons in SPAAAACE

Ian 5

Re: Too much added, not enough removed


Replaced a damaged 3-pin plug on an extension cable, whilst showing my 12 year old son the correct way to wire it, explaining the difference between AC and DC, the importance of earthing appliances (and plumbing pipes)...

As a 12 year old (as I was back in the day), he was delighted to cut the wires to length, strip insulation with an appropriate tool, and to use a soldering iron to tin the exposed wire.

We've cut, shaped and tested boomerangs - and I've had him help with oil changes. These one-to-one sessions engender a huge variety of tangential discussions about how car engines work, how they parallel systems within the human body, aerodynamics, time and space... the list goes on. Kids *love* to learn, and when I don't know how to explain something, Mr Google is a helping hand to getting into further reading.

It all begins in the home, and sometimes with just a 3-pin plug, changing a tyre, whatever.

Working in the education supply industry I really applaud any effort to get kids extending their understanding and cognitive abilities; even a cursory look at 'examination' papers these days reveals them to be easier and more leading than an 11+ paper.

Hell, carrying on this rant (sorry OP) - I use 11+ questions in interview aptitude situations for new recruits, degree-level candidates who crap out at levels around 30% are not invited back. The guys working for me now managed between 85% and 100% (and those at 85% wanted to go back and re-do the questions - kicking themselves for obvious errors).

I'll shut up now, must just be the afternoon logorrhea.

Self-driving Volvos cover 200km of busy Spanish motorway

Ian 5


God damn it... "break" vs "brake".

How often are these vehicles expected to break, as opposed to the frequency of their braking.

Should I "loose" or lose control over this?!

Virgin Media site goes titsup in Pirate Bay payback attack

Ian 5

Am I the only one that thought...


Anon can just poke themselves, I'm no fan of VM, but if Anon want to argue the toss, why not put up representation in court? Bunch of dicks.

I'd like to argue more cogently, but I'm going to be as lazy *rsed as they are on this one.

New sat data shows Himalayan glaciers hardly melting at all

Ian 5
IT Angle


Quite - the IT angle is clear here, it's about 45 degrees off the horizontal. I also demand a 3D scan file of that lady for Google Sketchup, and then my CNC styrofoam cutter will be ablaze.

Ian 5

Not that I don't care, but...

...was I the *only* person to click on the link expecting more hot-pants?


I don't *think* I'm a perv...

TripAdvisor: OK, not all our reviews are trustworthy or real

Ian 5
Paris Hilton

I stayed at the Paris Hilton. Never again.

Seriously - what I thought would be a luxury experience turned out to be the tawdriest disappointment - upstairs there was nothing, and it seemed the world and it's dog had been through the front entrance it was so shabby and worn out. The carpet was sticky, and the curtains didn't match the rug. The back entrance seemed little better, but I didn't use it.

I was shocked and disappointed.

The only redeeming feature was the in-house movie.

NASA aims for space tests of Mars-in-a-month plasma drive

Ian 5


it *is* rocket science... :o)

Anonymous hacktivists: We've got Stuxnet code

Ian 5

pfffff - don't want to get a flamer but...

Frankly, "Anonymous - we're really the champions of freedom and stuff, and everyone else is a corporate death-bringer and suppressor of the proletariat, or worse are a bunch of know-nothing idiots who'll DDoS Visa for us" seem to me to be a bunch of late night pr0n rippers and a bit up themselves.

Can't wait for them to fade away, the bunch of w*nkers...

Oh no... (quivering in my damp boxers) maybe they'll trace me now and I'll be digitally destroyed for daring to question their ethics, morals and methods.

One third of Russians say Sun revolves round Earth

Ian 5


Always worried me when I lived in Cornwall...

Microsoft finally says adios to Autorun

Ian 5
Paris Hilton

Still get shiny icons and decent label text length?

Not going to miss auto-execution, hopefully this might cause some users to work out how to navigate their filesystems. I kid you not, I have been on the other end of a support call where the 'user' was unaware of right-click, that windows could be other than full-screen and that they could have more than one window open at a time. This was why autorun was adopted - to help reduce support calls... of course, it was a bloody stupid system that was just ripe for misuse.

However I'd be a bit saddened if this loses the augmentation of icon and volume label that autorun provided.

Paris, because I feel sure she's wide open for improper insertion of dodgy hardware.

Dell outsourcer lifts US woman's saucy pix from PC

Ian 5

I wonder

If she got to fill out one of those support satisfaction questionnaires...

Oz cops turn to wardriving to fight Wi-Fi 'jackers

Ian 5

Another analogy?

Kind of like putting your TV right up to the window so you can watch it from the garden, having passers-by watch it from the pavement outside your driveway.

Or a hosepipe left running off your property - is it theft to collect the water in a bucket to fill your swimming pool? That's more like it...


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