* Posts by Rogerborg

510 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jul 2009

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Tories declare students a burden on us all

Rogerborg

Digs or dole

If you consider "university" (I use that term in its broadest sense) as an alternative to dossing around on the dole, then it's possibly the least-bad solution.

Of course, we *could* just re-assign funding to technical colleges and get Yoof out learning trades so that the next generation of plumber will actually speak some version of English, but as we know, asking people to work in return for money is tantamount to slavery. I don't know why you even suggested it, you filthy racialist.

Sarah Palin 'boob job' debate dominates US right - and left

Rogerborg

Liberal Media Lies

I'm sure she just prayed super-extra-hard and gosh! There they were.

By the way, I wouldn't touch her "number two slot" with yours.

Mr Ballmer goes to Washington for China pirate gripe

Rogerborg

Careful what you ask for, Fester

Let's imagine a world with fifty million Chinese patent-trolls putting in 16 hours a day. Sauce for the goose...

BT betters pay offer under strike threat

Rogerborg

Time to rewarm this chestnut

If BT goes on strike, it could cause millions of pounds of improvements to the network.

New laser raygun tech: Our sharks kick the tyres

Rogerborg

Correction

"[A 130bph] bike can usually sustain a steady state cruise at max power for several minutes"

Nah, most sports bikes will run out of fuel well before that, and in any case the distance to journey termination is strictly limited by the next bend, tree, pothole or the natural predator of bikes, a BMW X5 helmed by a peroxide blonde on her mobile.

ID card scheme barely broke 13,000 mark, minister confirms

Rogerborg

Market forces, dears, market forces

If I wanted an ID card, I could buy a pretty convincing "novelty" driving license for just £20, without having to fill in twenty pages of twonk in triplicate, or deal with Home Office mongers who're only there because they fluffed their Burger King interviews.

Also, I could pick any name I want. I quite fancy "Bulge Boldly".

New cycle helmets emit stench if they need replacement

Rogerborg

Well, golly

Helmets only protect in low speed crashes? I guess that makes them pointless then, since I plan on only being involved in fatal high speed crashes.

Seems to me that the anti-helmet brigade don't have much worth protecting in the brain department anyway.

Stephen Fry's truly terrible mistake

Rogerborg

I'm sure you'd turn down the gig, Andrew

If you were ever asked. Which you won't be. Ever.

Dodgy Doctor Who games may be malwarey

Rogerborg

The writing on the bathroom wall is true

Play with Karen Gillian, get a nasty virus.

Arctic microbes 'could survive on Mars'

Rogerborg

"Very" unique?

As opposed to just regularly unique, slightly unique, or, uh, *actually* unique?

Science ain't what it used to be. Also, policemen are getting younger.

Jobs: iPhone sales spank Android

Rogerborg

Actually, if you look at global sales

Then BREW whips them all. But heck, that's mostly bought by tens of millions of Little Yellow People, so it's not like it's a REAL platform.

Unarmed Royal Navy destroyers: French missiles blamed

Rogerborg

What "fleet" are they going to escort?

You could put a bet on us actually floating a CVF that's fit to put in harm's way, but you'd be better off gambling on England winning the world cup, or giving your cash to a gypsy in return for some Magic beans.

By the time the CVFs are supposed to be in service (which they won't be), the Lusty and Ark are going to be held together by their paint.

I suppose at some point a grown up might get involved, buy some Malaysian freighters and weld a big helicopter flight deck on top. Then we'd have ships with equivalent combat performance to the Invincibles - which are basically helicopter carriers now as the GR7s start falling apart - superior performance to the type 45 (or, God help us, type 26), and at a fraction of the price of any of them.

But then, why deploy a billion pound ship to defend a much cheaper one, that can strike back harder? Especially when it can't defend it anyway?

Bah, these ships are just wank fantasy material for recruiting ads and salty seaman still re-fighting the Falklands, and welfare for BAE.

Prisoner of iTunes - the iPad file transfer horror

Rogerborg

What a curious definition of "productivity"

I still don't get what advantages it has over a £200 EEE PC for producing content. Yes, yes, I get that you're saying that it's a very (very, very) expensive consumption gadget that also happens to allow some content creation, but did I mention that it's very, very, very, VERY expensive?

Eh, I think I'll wait for the iPad Nano version.

Sneaky bin chipping still in the bag for UK.gov

Rogerborg

Aw, bless their little ranting socks

But... but... then The Man will KNOW HOW MUCH WE'RE THROWING OUT! The Man! Throwing out! He'll know!

Well, yes, he will, but he really, really doesn't care - beyond using it to tax you - any more than The Man cares now how much gas or electricity you use.

Rogerborg

Oh ye of little imagination

"So what they're saying is that they'll pay me to nip out just before the recycling collection and move all the stuff in my neighbour's recycling box to my box?"

Pfft, think outside the bin. Swap your RFID chip for theirs, then tell them that you're not registered and offer to put most of your recycling in their bin. They'll thank you for stealing from them.

Of course, you'd have to have the morals of a cabinet minister to do it.

$11m jackpot just a 'reset' message, says casino

Rogerborg

Could have been worse

They could have won a Blue Screen, or an fsck.

Twitter airport bomb spoof joker launches appeal

Rogerborg

Give over, you nonce

Airport jobsworths are "legally required" to rat him out because they stumbled across his post, are they? [citation needed]

There's nothing stupid about the joke - humour is toothless without topicality or edginess - only about the massive screaming over-reaction to it, which is admittedly far funnier - although with a nasty punchline.

He was only prosecuted because there are Plod and CPS out there who don't have real jobs, and instead need to find The Terrorists under every bed to justify their existence.

The magistrates who ruled on this are also in need of a good dose of perspective, rather than buying into the delusion that we need to destroy freedom in order to save it.

The chap's a victim, not a criminal.

BT reaches deadlock with union

Rogerborg

Responsibility?

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Bright side, if 55,000 BT rack monkeys go on strike, it could cause millions of pounds of improvements to the network.

EU Parliament plans Google-powered paedo detector

Rogerborg

Well, don't you want to protect The Children?

While it's an easy bandwagon for the directly elected EUs to jump on, in this case it's nice that the Commission won't have to bow to their pressure to introduce legislation, since they answer to corporate interests, and not anything as tawdry as voters.

Democracy is great, in moderation.

BT to retain more control over fibre networks

Rogerborg

Clear something up for me

What's the European Commission - the unelected executive body of Johnny Foreigners - doing drawing up entirely domestic regulations for the United Kingdom?

No-good scareware varmints exploit Wild West game

Rogerborg

What a great marketing ploy

By Sunbelt Software, I mean. It's not like anyone in the media is going to fact check it - they'll just link to the Sunbelt site. Like El Reg just did, in fact.

Halting McKinnon extradition not in our power, says Clegg

Rogerborg

Crib notes:

Anyone who seeks and obtains power over others is axiomatically not "liberal".

Captain Cyborg sidekick implants virus-infected chip

Rogerborg

I recall an interview with an actual AI researcher

Who described the shenanigans at the University of Reading as an "embarrassing distraction". And yet I can't recall his name, but everyone knows about Captain Cyborg and (now) his Legion of Low Wattage Minions.

Sad, but it's the first to market that gets the fame and floozies. There are floozies, right?

O2 limits unlimited broadband packages

Rogerborg

This'll take a lawsuit to sort out

Not some pussweed quangos asking "pretty please, clarify your marketing".

It'll take someone with most money than sense to actually drag these clowns into a court of law and have the parently absurd "...unless we don't feel like it" clauses struck from their contract.

Batter up!

Terence Conran slams 'appalling' Olympic mascots

Rogerborg
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ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO-MASCOTS!

I think they're ideal for getting the half-million Olypmic tourists (fully 25% of whom might leave the country afterwards) used to the baleful unblinking stare of ridiculous costumed mongtards, so that they know what to expect from the raft of "Police" Community Supper "Officers" who will be drafted in to rugby tackle anyone caught taking a photograph inside the M25.

Osborne pledges simpler biz taxes

Rogerborg

Lolwut?

Find me a business of any size which isn't on the fiddle - sorry, exploiting allowances, tax classifications, and loopholes to the very maximum extent allowed by law. You have to do that in order to survive, or your competitors will eat you alive.

So closing loopholes in order to reduce the headline rate of tax is at best a zero-sum game for any real business, depending on how much the headline rate comes down (if any).

This might be viewed as bad news for accountants, but it's quite the opposite, since they'll just have to work harder (and bill more) to find the remaining - and doubtless some new - loopholes.

The tax code needs re-doing from fresh, starting with a flat rate and no (nada, zero, zilch) wheezes or loopholes, not yet more token fiddling around the edges.

LibCons to reduce vetting and barring

Rogerborg

Waffle waffle drone

Note that the first thing Cameron actually DID was to neuter the 1922 committee and centralise power to his cabal. He's Stalin in a tailcoat, and if you actually believe that his government will find the time to deliver on any of these promises, then I have an unmissable bridge-purchasing opportunity for you.

Google mocks Jobs with Flash on Android

Rogerborg

iPhone has 25% smartphone share?

I can hear the Qualcomm execs hooting with laughter as they roll around on the floor in vast piles of cash.

25% in what market, and what US-slewed definition of "smartphone"? Globally, iPhone, Blackberry and Android are all penny-ante planers. Y'all might want to look at their (non) penetration into the Far (and increasingly the Middle) East, where everybody and their dog are smartphoned out the wazoo.

Megan Fox exits Transformers 3

Rogerborg

A fatal blow

Fox is simply irreplaceable, unless by some miracle they trawl the cheap diners and discount clothing stores of Los Angeles to find another unknown skanky looking foul tempered egotistical tramp with bouncy funbags who can't act but will do anything - and I mean anything - for her big break.

2012 Olympic mascots cop a shoeing

Rogerborg

Heavy on the "Para"?

Inbred waddle-tards, rejoice! You are finally flying the flag for Blighty.

Look, any question about what to put on logos, mascots, Euro banknotes, whatever, there's only ever one correct answer: SPITFIRE.

Foreign IT pros in USA get paid more than Americans - study

Rogerborg

Re. contractors splashing the cash

My experience has been that (some) short term contractors will happily sign up for massive mortgages or rent agreements, loans and leases, and enjoy the high life without ever paying off a penny, any more than they pay any form of taxes.

They know fine well - because their friends and relatives already do it - that it takes so long to repossess or lien anything in this scrounger's paradise that they'll be gone before the hammer falls. And if they wake up one day and their lease Merc is gone? Heck, just lease a bigger one! Change the spelling of your name a bit, swap addresses with your cousin: there are still plenty of lenders' agents out there on commission, and it's not THEIR money they're lending out.

Here endeth the rant, but not the scam.

Welsh police come down hard on Octopussy porn

Rogerborg

Regarding accidental caching

If you're running one of those rinky-dink link-scanners (e.g. AVG) it will cheerfully pre-cache images on pages that are linked to by the page you're currently on.

So now it's not even safe to read articles like this one, in case someone posts a link to the naughties in it.

Garage worker prangs £200k Ferrari

Rogerborg

Given Ferrari build quality

He probably caused £50,000 worth of improvements to it.

Osborne to 'get Britain working' - except for ID contractors

Rogerborg

Agreed, Mandelson is a dead rat under the floorboards

He's there for the duration, and that smell isn't going away any time soon.

I reckon he'll get tasked with implementing Biometric ID Phase 2, after the Sir Humphreys get through explaining to the young lads how government really works.

Biometric passport 2.0 scrapped alongside ID cards, NIR

Rogerborg

Oh, purlease

Right now, the Sir Humphreys will be patiently explaining to the new Prefects how Hogwarts^W Westminster really works.

Gentlemans' agreements have been made, and hands have been SHAKEN, young sirs.

Trident, nuke energy looking poorly under LibCons

Rogerborg

This AGAIN? Change the tune, would you

Yes, you need to apple the Lewis Reality Inversion Filter.

A couple of years playing Hide The Torpedo in minesweepers - the janitorial arm of the Senior Service - does not qualify you as an expect in all defence matters.

Apple promises fanbois iPad WiFi fix

Rogerborg

Clap your hands

And say "I believe in Apple". You DO believe in Apple, don't you, children?

I hear bells!

Herschel 'scope peers into 'truly empty' space hole

Rogerborg

An enormous gaping void?

I'll take "Gordon Brown's future career" for 10 points.

Cloud to drive a quarter of server sales

Rogerborg

I for one welcome our new Cloud overlords

And look forward proactively to rightsizing my ultrastructure across Third Way solutionised macro ecosystems going forward through a timeboxed future-now.

Lunch, anyone? The tab's on the taxpayers and shareholders. So's the joke.

Ubuntu Unity interface flashed for speed freaks

Rogerborg

Spin us another one, Shuttleworth

After the "lurch to the left" window decoration fiasco, Canonical "want input" as much as a hooker wants you to whisper sweet nothings in her ear while she's counting your money.

City Police still using Terror Act to bother photographers

Rogerborg

Seems like a nice earner

He'll get a mealy-mouthed apology and a nice fat cheque (taxpayer funded), likely significantly more than he could make from a day's snapping.

Heck, you could probably make a career out of this, without even needing any photographic skill, or for that matter a working camera.

Given the level of Jobsworthism being displayed, you might even try making a square with your fingers and saying "Click!" then waiting for the riot squad to turn up.

Physicist unmasks 99-year-old mistake in English dictionaries

Rogerborg

Typical lying Ozzie

As any fool knows, the operative force is a chav sucking the petrol out of your tank.

Vote Lib Dem, doom humanity to extinction

Rogerborg

WE CANNOT AFFORD NOT TO HAVE A NUKULAR DETERRENT

Unfortunately, we cannot afford to have one either.

We're boned either way. Might as well have a big party, and spunk the last value out of Sterling. Fire up the Quattro!

DVLA off-road system seriously off-message

Rogerborg

Suck on that, leeches

Huzzah! Road Tax (sod off with your VED, it's road tax) is a protection racket, run for its own continuance and to keep some morose Taffys busy shuffling paper around.

There's no credible argument in its favour, and it's grossly regressive. A child could see that it should be replaced (for revenue purposes, not because it has any particular merit) far more fairly with a bump in our already obscene fuel duty. There's your "environmental" component, your SORN scams, and your avoidance and enforcement costs all taken care of, and the entire DVLA Swansea staff could get lost down the Pot Noodle mines where they belong.

I applaud anyone who stands up to these parasites and starves them of their life blood. Only when their racket is no longer profitable will they give it up and get real jobs.

Picsel US workers sue directors over 'unpaid wages'

Rogerborg

They certainly give good value for amusement purposes

It's legal to re-use the company name if "a company acquires the whole or substantially the whole, of the business of an insolvent company, under arrangements made by an insolvency practitioner acting as its liquidator, administrator or administrative receiver, or as supervisor of a voluntary arrangement."

Liquidators have godlike powers in these matters, and yes, PWC basically rubberstamped the respawn. It's no skin off their nose, and they'll doubtless be back for another bite at the cherry soon enough.

Characteristically, the renaming to "Lescip" was laughable childish and pointless, since the re-use prohibition is on all names used within 12 months prior to the insolvency, "or any name so similar as to suggest an association with that company", so triple fail.

eBayer sued for leaving negative feedback

Rogerborg

Strategy fail

Paying a lawyer to defend you from another lawyer is like hiring a vampire as a bodyguard for a walk through the graveyard. You're going to become a drained husk either way; does it really matter whose fangs get in deepest?

A multitasking iPad? Let's bin the netbook

Rogerborg

So, now it's only hardware-crippled

Tell you what, you buy yourself an iPad and a keyboard, then wait for Apple to make it usable. Meanwhile, I'll spend the same money on an EEE PC, slap Ubuntu on it and start enjoying it today. Plus one for the wife. And another for the kids. And when my Windows refunds come in, I'll buy one for the dog too.

Government wastes millions on redundant cycle route planner

Rogerborg

Indeed, many cycle routes are a joke

They're lines drawn on a map to meet a quota. We've all been down them; 6 feet of lane ending in a railing or gravel pit, routes that have you criss-crossing dual carriageways every 200 yards.

Spend the money on sending actual cyclists out to select or improve the routes on the ground, rather than nobbing around with maps like a bunch of wargame nerds.

US Navy plans self-building floating fortresses

Rogerborg

So, you put these things on huge ships

Sail the ships out to where you need them, then.... wait, what was the point of step 1 again?

Police reject Tory plans for elected chiefs

Rogerborg

Fact check

Can you please be sure to refer to ACPO by its full name, ACPO Plc.? It's a commercial company.

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