Posts by Hermes (nine inch) Conran

New gizmo means working electropulse rayguns at last

@ Brian 6

I'm afraid Martin 19 is correct, The power of Brit and Merkin domestic sockets are limited by the law that say power = Volts * Amps. Merkins have a lower voltage but run more amps to acheve the same power.

.

.

cos you're wrong!

@ David Pollard

Mmmm......... Fried Locust!

Peugeot looks to 1940s for quirky e-car design

@ Anonymous John

You obviously have never ridden a motorcycle, The brake reflex is to grab the brake wherever it is. You'd be suprised at how quickly you can adapt to a new vehicle configuration.

Audi's R8 goes all-electric

Damned crafty Germans!

Produce this vehicle now.

US researchers demand cell phone safety tax

please.

Could we have a scream Icon?

James Martin apologises for cyclist outrage

@ AC 09:03

To continue your argument what about all those Pedestrians as well. They walk across the road all the time and don't pay a penny in tax or insurance! They don't pay for special measures to protect them or for the inconvienience of stopping ALL the cars while they totter across the road on their stupid "legs".

What I'm trying to say is you really are a dick.......

IOD: Slash UK.gov IT, save public cash

This is peanuts...

Ditch Trident.

Armless getaway driver leads police a merry dance

Well done..

to this gang for their disability inclusion program.

Vista and Lotus: Knowing when to let go of a brand

Should that be....

Basta la Vista?

Explorers unearth cat-sized rat

Rodents of unfeasible size?

Either an early mission in Oblivion or the swamps of doom in the princess bride!

Database billionaire trampled by elephant

How the hell..

do you miss an elephant?

Canucks crack whip on Facebook privacy

to paraphrase;

"Privacy is an old man's concern" Bitch!

Forget solar panels, it's time for rooftop slime-tanks

@ AC 13:58

Well said mate, I don't think Mr Lewis will be happy until we all have little fisson reactors in the basement! (The glowing one with the lead lining please)

Doctor investigated for posting inkblots to Wikipedia

It looks like....

bollocks to me.

Internet junkie detox center claims US first

@ Ian Ferguson

Did you (like me) submit this from your connection at work?

Aussie Sex Party bursts upon political stage

Hur, hur

deeply rooted!!

<Insert bevis and butthead impression here>

Most gamers fat and miserable, finds study

Yes but...

Which is cause and which effect?

Zombie plague analysed by Canadian maths prof

zombie squirrels

This research is a good model for the eradication of the red squirrel by those dratted zombie greys!

US Marines' Afghan robocopter-supply contest down to two

flying robotwars

Make them fight for the contract, put it on pay per view and you'll cover the development costs! Unless they join forces, against us......

Extra large condoms hit UK supermarket shelves

Reminds me

.. of the old story about British troops using them to protect their machine guns in norway during WWII.

iTablet to rake in $1bn, claims analyst

My maths is crap but...

Does that mean Jobbie is clearing $500 on somthing he's selling for $600?

Gamers gun down Half-Life

Oh no, nerds with guns!

I for one welcome our speccy overlords!

Japan's central bankers look in brothels for green shoots

Green shoots in a brothel?

I'd see a doctor....

Mine's the dirty mac....

Launch your own satellite for only eight grand

P.A.R.I.S.

Perfect for launching paper planes!

Vote now to name El Reg space plane

The common shag

is of course the correct english name for the cormorant, a bird known for swallowing piscines whole. Only a few letters out!

El Reg to launch space paper plane

Paris

Nothing goes down better

Windfarm Britain means (very) expensive electricity

Vulture Swallows Fossil Industry Guff

So a group of companies who are heavily invested in fossil fuel power stations brings out a paper slagging off renewables and El Reg swallows it hook, line and stinker. There is a market like this already, it's called Nord Kraft and the scandanavian countries use it to buy and sell electricity. Yes there are times when the price goes negative and there are industries that have sprung up to exploit this,. Yes it had reduced the share of the market for Oil, Coal and Gas fired power stations but only their owners think it's a bad thing. The market is there and it works, this report is just the latest in a long line of attack jobs by those invested in the status quo and should be looked at with more of a sceptical eye than the Reg seems to posess in this field....

BMW to ride in with 115-mile range e-scooter?

Ah the C1..........

All the beauty of German design with the reliability of Italian engineering, how could it have failed?

World's oldest mum pops clogs

I hate to bring up charlie chaplin...

but as shocking as this story seems it's no different.

Gaza youth 'corrupted' by aphrodisiac chewing gum

Hamas interogation

I think you'll find most people subjected to one of those admit to being influenced by zionist plots!

PS.

@ Dr Jay

Thank you for making me snort coffee all over my keyboard!