* Posts by Matt D 3

11 posts • joined 15 Jul 2009

NotW reporter accused of hacking over 100 mobiles

Matt D 3

It was hacking.

hack 1 (hk)

v. hacked, hack·ing, hacks

1. To cut or chop with repeated and irregular blows: hacked down the saplings.

2. To break up the surface of (soil).


a). Informal To alter (a computer program): hacked her text editor to read HTML.

b). To gain access to (a computer file or network) illegally or without authorization: hacked the firm's personnel database.

Read 3b again. "To gain access to (a computer file or network) illegally or without authorization." The access to the voicemail account was both illegal and without authorisation. The voicemails were, not to put to fine a point on it, hacked. The fact that they used the correct PIN numbers is irrelevant.

Stop. As in "stop moaning about the perfectly accurate use of a word."

California school pulls 'oral sex' dictionary

Matt D 3


Johnson: (to George) So, ahem, tell me, sir, what words particularly interested


George: Oh, er, nothing... Anything, really, you know...

Johnson: Ah, I see you've underlined a few (takes dictionary, reads): `bloomers';

`bottom'; `burp'; (turns a page) `fart'; `fiddle'; `fornicate'?

George: Well...

Johnson: Sir! I hope you're not using the first English dictionary to look up

rude words!

Edmund: I wouldn't be too hopeful; that's what all the other ones will be

used for.

Translation outfit seeks Glaswegian speakers

Matt D 3
Black Helicopters


Are you saying that you have been lost on Union Street in Aberdeen for eight years?

Send out the search and rescue.

Women spending more time at work - but less time working

Matt D 3

@Anonymous John

Sarah is not in today, but will be in tomorrow, so don't get too excitable.

Matt D

(Reg Sub-Ed)

NASA works on robo-podcab scheme

Matt D 3


After twenty years of research, eight public inquiries, an intervention by the EU, seven health and safety lawsuits after workers drop things on their own feet, a protest campaign against its construction by environmentalists, another protest campaign IN FAVOUR of its construction by other environmentalists and a sex scandal involving two of the twelve transport ministers who served during the process, an out of work actress and a small horse, the British version would look like this:


Prince of Darkness scares UK mobe firms

Matt D 3

Prince of Darkness.

Just a comment on what we do and do not allow on the Reg comment boards.

We do allow fuck, so you are quite welcome to refer to 'the fucking prince of fucking darkness'. We do not allow the c-word, however.

Don't ask why. I don't make the rules. The Moderatrix hath spoken on the matter, and that is all we all need to know.

Matt D


Badgers. Because they're fucking badgers.

YouTube injects cash into US F1 team

Matt D 3


I just looked it up, and there have apparently previously been five female F1 drivers, not two. Of those, only two ever actually qualified for a race, though, so if Danica Patrick managed to qualify in a USF1 car, it would make her the third female driver to actually race in a championship GP.

Inaccuracy, schminaccuracy...

Matt D 3

Penske, and all the rest...

The basic inaccuracy of the USF1 press release was the subject of much debate at Vulture Central. The last US F1 team to win a GP, as Mr Larrington points out, was the Penske team in Austria in 1976. The last US F1 team were Beatrice/Haas-Lola in the mid 1980s, although they never won a GP.

What I think USF1 are trying to do by discounting these efforts is to tap into the inherent patriotism of the US public. They have deliberately gone back not to Penske, (US team, British Engine, John Watson as driver, who was from Northern Ireland,) but to All American Racing, (US team, US-commissioned but British-built engine, American driver,) whose sole 1967 GP victory they use as their historical reference point. They refer to this victory as a win in a Grand Prix 'tournament'. This is a misleading term that might suggest to the uninformed that the team had, in fact, won the entire championship that year, rather than just one race. The fact that most Americans know little about F1 means they can use this to suggest that USF1 is the latest instalment in a long and distinguished history for American F1 teams, when in fact their record is less than inspiring.

The reason for this is not obvious, but the enthusiasm that patriotism generates can only be helpful in gaining sponsorship and support. USF1 have already suggested that they will be using new media and methods to gain the finance they will need to run the team, and I suspect that this attempt to paint USF1 as the latest instalment in a long history may be part of this. It would not surprise me, for example, if as well as the YouTube money, they also attempted to personalise the F1 experience by taking smaller, personal sponsorships for the cars and team in much the same way that Jan Lammers with his Racing For Holland Le Mans team. This would fit well with the YouTube sponsorship, too. The YouTube slogan is 'Broadcast Yourself', after all.

What baffles me is why the team chose to go with US teams rather than US drivers, as America does actually have history there, with Phil Hill and Mario Andretti both being world champion drivers.

Maybe that will become part of the media approach once they announce their driver line-up. Expect that to go ballistic, if Danica Patrick indeed joins them and becomes only the third ever female F1 driver.

Matt D

(Sub Ed)

Cops taser naked doorbell-ringing giant

Matt D 3

Knock Down Ginger.

Just as a helpful explanation for anyone who may be unaware, Knock Down Ginger is the name of a childish game in which the participant(s) go to the door of a house, knock loudly on it and then run away and hide. There is usually more than one participant and they will take turns, often running back to join their hiding friends and giggle when the house occupant opens the door to find no-one there.

Extra kudos can be gained for knocking repeatedly on the same door several times in succession, co-ordinated multiple efforts in which several doors are knocked at the same time, and ultra-elaborate linked attempts, in which door knockers are connected to neighbouring doors with fishing line, causing a pleasing cascade effect in which the opening of the first door by the occupant will cause a knock on the next door, then the next and so on.

Don't ask me how I know all this.

Amazon vanishes 1984 from citizen Kindles

Matt D 3
Big Brother

Perhaps a more appropriate title to remove would be...


Kent Police clamp down on tall photographers

Matt D 3

Too tall.

There was also the Spike Milligan 'Q' sketch, in which someone was arrested, IIRC, for being 6'0 in a 5'9 zone, in Lewisham.

I, for one, welcome our new easily upset, underheight overlords.


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