* Posts by Cazzo Enorme

251 publicly visible posts • joined 15 Jul 2009


PHP devs lob second patch at super-critical CGI bug

Cazzo Enorme

I'm not a "server admin", but here are a few superior alternatives:

Ruby on Rails

Python on Django or various alternatives

Java with Spring

Groovy on Grails

Scala with Lift

Smalltalk on Seaside

Hell, even C# if you're happy with Windows as a platform.

They are all programming languages designed and maintained by people way more competent than those responsible for PHP.

Apple's HTML5 bet against Android extermination

Cazzo Enorme

Re: True enough.

Not a *single* Android device released in 2009 runs ICS.

Don't spread ill informed crap. The original G1 handset, released in late 2008, can run ICS. As can many of the Android devices released subsequently in 2009.

Praise for slick six's entries in dirty snaps compo

Cazzo Enorme

... superseded by the 32-bit VAX. That was eventually killed by 32-bit X86-based systems from HP, Dell, Compaq, IBM, etc

Nope. The VAX was superseded by the Alpha. As a product line at least, although I'm aware of a number of Vaxen still chugging along in academic, logistic and industrial environments.

BSkyB boss: 'I don't work for Rupert Murdoch, remember'

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Mr Darroch

NI is a tiny insignificant child company of News Corp, that was dying on its behind before any of this kicked off.

No it wasn't "dying on its behind". It has always turned a substantial profit, albeit one that is slowly decreasing over time. The significance is that James Murdoch was head of NI and an exec at BSkyB. If his recollections are correct (and they have been disputed by many including Tom Crone and Colin Myler), then he is incompetent. If the recollections of almost all other direct participants are correct, then he is part of a cover up and as an American citizen (he has dual nationality) he is criminally liable for offences under US laws.

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Fitness to Broadcast - Crap Programmes

So can OFCOM measure you on the crap programmes you produce then? It it wasn't for Roop's pockets and Sport, Sky would be nothing.

Sky commissions / produces very little content outside of sports coverage. Most of their content is bought in from the US, particularly for drama and comedy. Sky news is a loss making division of BSkyB, which is why it was a bit of a joke that Roop offered to spin it off as an "arms length" entity if he succeeded in gaining total ownership. This was a joke both because it hived off the loss making part (making it easier to sell or shut down) and because all previous undertakings by Roop concerning editorial independence have been breached.

Forgetful Roop even claimed at the Leveson inquiry - under oath - that he does not interfere with editorial independence, since he's gone on record many time in the last thirty years stating he does dictate editorial policy. That's perjury.

Cazzo Enorme

This would be BSkyB, where James Murdoch was CEO until 2007, and a non-executive director since then. And of course, James would never be acting in the interest of his father would he?

Boy wrecks £22k worth of MacBooks by weeing on them

Cazzo Enorme

A couple of years ago, our flat was broken into, and the scrotes tipped a desktop PC onto its front and poured water into it. They probably did this because they thought it might be recording them via the connected webcam. Despite being switched off. After an overnight drying out, the machine worked fine.

Skip forward to two weeks ago, and the wife poured hot tea into her laptop. I left it upside down for a few hours (the laptop that is) and it also worked fine.

Both machines were Dells - freebies from work when we upgraded. Surely if they can survive a thorough drenching, so should a Macbook?

Bank dumps customers in 'irrigation ditch'

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Last time?

Apart from the times when the plebs actually have thrown out the elites. Then you have a bloodbath, possibly famine, and just end up with a new set of elites at the end of the process that are no better than the last lot.

I'm struggling to think of examples. In all the cases I can think of, one elite was thrown out by another. The Khmer Rouge were an intellectual elite. The Bolsheviks divided Russian Marxists by advocating an elite lead revolution rather than just encouraging the workers to rise up. The French Revolution was lead by an intellectual and nascent industrialist elite.

The only "pleb" lead revolutions I can think of are ones like the Paris Commune - which ended in bloodshed when it was suppressed, but was not founded or perpetuated by it.

Cazzo Enorme

That's a bit insensitive, given how many ordinary Spaniards ended up in an irrigation ditch (with a bullet to the back of the bonce) the last time their elites fucked things up.

Lenovo U300s Ultrabook

Cazzo Enorme

After looking at the orange special edition model, I have an inexplicable urge to eat Jaffa Cakes.

That is all.

Twelve... classic 1980s 8-bit micros

Cazzo Enorme

Re: I had an Enterprise 128

I guess the BBC Bs were replaced with the NextStations that were still in the Oxford Computing Labs a couple of years ago. I found this out when I managed to blag some spare parts for my Next slab from one of the staff members.

Tech City hailed as saviour of THE ENTIRE PLANET

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Contributing to the Community by driving the Community out?

Yes, but those square types had to go. They couldn't even appreciate the important distinction between a Mocca-Soy Latte and a Flat-White with Choco sprinkles. Plus they were such an eyesore with their yawn inducing lack of dress sense that showed no appreciation for a pair of boot cut, hipster waisted skinny jeans in pastel shades of pre-stressed denim, combined with self-consciously non-colour-coordinated, boutique label skate shoes. As for their so called haircuts, no sign of a swooping fringe or ironic mullet. Need I say more?

Cazzo Enorme

Please tell me this was a piss take, like the Steve Bong column. If not, then I despair.

Murdoch junior admits to a culture of 'cavalier risk' at NotW

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Isn't this

Yup, it's that man. You have to feel sorry for him though - after all, the only prominent person at the Beeb who is willing shill for him is Robert Peston (note the consistently at odds with the facts and pro-News Corp spin of his reporting).

Cazzo Enorme

Re: One of Six

Seeing as by his own admission he doesn't remember anything and didn't issue orders to do anything, the number of companies "reporting" to him is meaningless. Either that, or he's just trying to shunt all the blame for News Corps impropriety onto minions like Myler and Crone.

As for the Jeremy Hunt stuff - it's to be expected given the backgrounds of most of the Tories in the coalition government. It's nice to have it all out in the open though, that the BSkyB takeover was a done deal until The Grauniad managed to break the hacking stuff wide open.

Solaris shops bunged cash to upgrade old duffers

Cazzo Enorme

Dear Oracle, we've got a SparcStation 5 running as a (very) low traffic FTP server. Can we get some cash for that? (It runs NetBSD and includes a few oddities, such as a quad ethernet card and an the rare "Leo" 24bit framebuffer).

Happy 30th Birthday, Sinclair ZX Spectrum

Cazzo Enorme

Thoroughly enjoyed this trip through history. I was a CBM64 owner, but most of my schoolmates were Speccy owners and I recall several of them buying an after market keyboard that appeared to add a compact "Commodore" style keyboard. What it actually did was to sit on top of the original squidgy keys, and press down on them with plastic prongs. It quickly knackered the original keyboard.

Larry Page has painful day on stand in Oracle Java case

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Interesting take...

This view seems slanted to you? Let me guess, you get your view from that source of unbiased and objective called Groklaw?

Brits get red PlayStation 3 next month

Cazzo Enorme

If you ever go to Japan, get yourself to your local Hard Off shop. This brilliantly named chain of second hand shops is full of yesterday's electronics gear (alongside a fantastic selection of second-hand CDs and loads of music gear).

Yup, when I holidayed in Japan I was absolutely staggered by the amount of retro music gear that could be had for very low prices. Not only the stuff I was familiar with, but models I doubt were ever sold outside of Japan. Sadly I couldn't persuade the wife that it was essential I took some extra luggage home with us :-(

'Woz' wants $100,000 for Mac 128K prototype

Cazzo Enorme

Any takers for the broken LC II in my loft? Though not.

Facebook to acquire Instagram for $1bn

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Darn...

Am I missing something here?

Perhaps the original poster is concerned about any upcoming changes to terms and conditions? That's the kind of grumbling I'm hearing from several camera wielding colleagues at work.

Commodore founder Jack Tramiel dies at 83

Cazzo Enorme

Re: RIP Jack.

I owe you my career.

Another me too. First computer I owned (shared with my brother) was a Commodore 64. I used to thoroughly enjoy working through the tutorials and code listings in Commodore User before it became solely a games review magazine. Without that start, I wouldn't have been in a position to work as a professional computer programmer some ten or twelve years later.

IT urine bandit fired and charged

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Um

"I cannot bring myself to upvote this."

Why not? Italian speaker? If so, I can't help it if my name means something rude in your native language. Some Finnish acquaintances have it pretty bad as well, since two popular Finnish forenames are pronounced the same way as American and Greek Cypriot slang words for the male reproductive organ.

Cazzo Enorme

The wife, Tette Enorme, used to work at the head office of a large airline. Following similar reports of strange stains on chairs and the surrounding carpet they also had cameras installed. It turned out that one of the late night cleaners broke up the tedium of his shift by pleasuring himself while surfing for porn on the office computers.

SharePoint 2010 now supports Chrome, Firefox

Cazzo Enorme

How can you implement Sharepoint "properly", when it implements its entire feature set in such piss-poor ways? We have had successive Sharepoint contractors, and all they seem able to do is break other functionality as they attempt to fix things. Googling around, I find many blogs and articles describing in varying levels of detail how Sharepoint is fundamentally flawed for most if not all of the applications it is being used for. A suite of individual applications, each aimed at a specific subset of required functionality, makes a lot more sense. For example, the ticket tracking system that was built on our instance of Sharepoint doesn't work (inadequate features, lost tickets, inaccessible to non-Windows users, etc) so in the development team we simply ignored it and used Trac instead. For document management, we rolled our own minimalistic app with Lucene for indexing and searching, along with an application enforced naming convention to support versioning.

Cazzo Enorme

We suffer under the tyranny of Sharepoint, complete with legacy VBScript and Active X controls - neither of which are of much use when I and several colleagues run Linux on our desktop machines. It's quite annoying to have to run a virtualised Windows install just to access Sharepoint, and even then we struggle to find anything since the search functionality is useless.

As someone else said, Sharepoint is a place were documents go to die - since you'll never be able to find them again.

Why new iPad renders your pile of slab mags as garbage

Cazzo Enorme

Oi, who are you calling a Fandroid? If it's me, then you're wide of the mark. I own a Mac (albeit running Linux), and until recently I also owned an iPhone. I have no particular allegiance to any one brand of device, preferring to use whatever best gets the job done. It's a bit like idiots who only use Intel or AMD processors, ignoring the fact that they regularly leapfrog each other in terms of features and performance. For example, Intel are usually the more obvious choice for high single threaded performance, but if you have lots of concurrent threads then rge typically higher socket count for AMD processors could be beneficial.

Cazzo Enorme

"Ahem.. it isn't a laptop.. never seen anyone use an iPad on the lap or anywhere near the jewels.."

That's funny, because pretty much everyone I see using a tablet on my commute has the thing on their lap and appear to be either watching a film or reading a book. Only a few people seem to feel up to holding a tablet upright for extended periods in the same way that the Kindle users do. The people playing games are generally doing so on a phone.

Cazzo Enorme

Male iTards - watch out for your 'nads when having the new iPad on your lap for extended periods. Having something that runs as hot as that can do seriously bad things to your fertility. Now who can come up with the best gag about having something hot on your lap that reduces your sperm count?

SHOCK! FIFA 12 goalie does it doggy style with striker

Cazzo Enorme

Reminds me of my favourite line of football commentary from a World Cup match:

"He shoots, and has Seaman all over the box"

Pity England lost though.

iPhone fanbois enraged by Instagram's Android triumph

Cazzo Enorme

Re: iPhone users <> Apple fanbois

Judging by the (at the time of writing) downvote, there's one programmer still eating quiche.

Facebook accused of 'wanton' use of Canadian woman's pics

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Depends on Canadian law ...

The great thing about the UK law on contracts, is that if you get one clause thrown out for being unreasonable (or downright illegal) it voids the whole contract. I had exactly this happen with a landlord who had a clause in my tenancy agreement stating he could enter the property as often and whenever he wanted without giving me prior notice. He did this to all his tenants, even walking in on another tenant while she and her boyfriend were playing "hide the sausage". I referred the tenancy agreement to the ombudsman that oversees tenant rights, and on the basis of that one clause had the whole contract deemed unenforcible.

Google, Oracle settlement talks fail, trial to begin April 16

Cazzo Enorme

Re: I beg to disagree...

"Oops - I've just gone and defended Oracle on the Reg forums. Downvote away!"

No need to downvote - Oracle has ended up doing the right thing with the way Java is being developed, despite some fumbling early on. As you point out, the rolling development via an OpenJDK codebase with Oracle branded releases based on it, has turned out to be open and effective. The only rumblings were over the inclusion of a subset of Project Coin features in the 7.0 release - but in the real world (in other words, the world with those of us who can see that closures are just a syntactic nicety to shut the Lisp bores up) we were very happy with what made it into 7.0.

NDS says Beeb's Panorama emails were 'manipulated'

Cazzo Enorme

When faced with significant evidence of wrongdoing, the PR savvy wrongdoer tries to find one minor detail they can argue has been portrayed incorrectly. Then they go on a PR offensive, claiming that this undermines the entire allegations. There is actually a sector of the PR industry who will do this damage limitation (or "reputation management") for you.

The other option is an injunction, as per Trafigura.

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Hmmm

As I point out in another post, the Primark case shows how big companies try to undermine a mountain of evidence by screaming blue bloody murder about one minor point.

The Facebook job test: Now interviewers want your logins

Cazzo Enorme

My employer recently fired a contractor for a pretty innocuous tweet, which just said he hadn't heard of some alleged celebrity who had been in the office for a PR event. This despite the fact that the guy was competent (a miracle in this day and age where contractors seem to be uniformly crap) and we really needed the extra resource to complete a mountain of work.

That said, I'm being interviewed for a new role and it's been made clear the employer want a full security check on all successful applicants. Not sure what this entails, but I'd be surprised if it didn't include a trawl around the Intertubes.

So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Cazzo Enorme

Worst film ever made?

Zardoz. Absolutely no redeeming features. It's so mind numbingly awful that it goes beyond being so bad that it's worth watching for a laugh.

Take your hands off me - I'm a tech VC superstar!

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Wow..

Oh come on, the timings right what with the digital roundabout bollocks. Plus the line about being a "seed investor in Bomis" made me chuckle.

Cazzo Enorme

Someone really needs to do a parody of these venture capital funded, buzzword spewing Shoreditch types.

Panasonic CF-53 Toughbook 14in rugged laptop

Cazzo Enorme

Been looking at getting a ruggedised laptop - what other brands have you tried? I've been looking at the General Dynamics ones, but can't find any comparisons to the Panasonic ones.

Walking through MIME fields: Snubbing Steve Jobs to Star Trek tech

Cazzo Enorme

Re: @Cazzo Enorme (was: 7 bit US-ASCII - Grrr!)

@jake: ""Finnish, Estonian and Hungarian" aren't "European", no matter how hard you squint at them."

Eastern European but certainly European. Hence why I studied them at SSEES - The School Of Slavonic and East European Studies. If you want to argue that Hungarian in particular isn't a European language then any credible linguist would be amused to hear you try.

As for the size of my cazzo, that's a secret between me and your wife.

Apple Store staff outnumber queues as new iPad goes on sale

Cazzo Enorme

For the sake of decency, El Reg edited his response. In full it reads:

"No, no, I only get the chance to feel this urge once in a while, so I plan on delaying gratification. First I'll go home, relax and then I'll take it out, stroke it for a while, before rinsing it under a tap and putting it away till next year."

Cazzo Enorme

Re: I would NEVER

Don't know about the other poster, but I haven't queued in a super market since they started doing online ordering with home delivery. There again, even when I used to go into super markets it tended to be very late evening in order to avoid most of the mouth breathers and their squealing brats, with the bonus of rarely having to queue at the tills.

Samsung Galaxy S II punters get a lick of Ice Cream Sarnie

Cazzo Enorme

What's weird is that the beta releases of ICS got progressively more stable and reliable, but then became really unstable and buggy in a release from late January. The final beta reverted to being really stable and bug free, which was just as well since I'd almost decided to revert to the stock O2 release.

Cazzo Enorme

Re: Arrrgh... "and a photo editor"

If you had been running one of the ICS betas that have leaked out of Samsung, then you'd know that the photo editor can be removed - without requiring root access.

JavaScript shogun deflects Google's mid-air Dart attack

Cazzo Enorme

Google seem to be a bit schizo. As well as Dart, they have GWT (Google Web Toolkit), which also offers an alternative to the pains of JavaScript coding. GWT does this by enabling developers to code in a statically typed programming language with good tooling - Java - and to then compile down to JavaScript, HTML and CSS for deployment. Treating JavaScript as an execution only language means all the work that's gone into optimising the JS engines in various browsers can be exploited, while the programmer can rely on the IDE and compile time support for Java that catches many of the most frustrating errors that crop up at run time in a loosely typed language like JavaScript.

New Yorker sues Apple: 'Misleading and deceptive' Siri ads

Cazzo Enorme

Re: I can't always unedstand "Noo Yawkers"

I wasn't the only one who thought Mr Fazio's accent may be part of the problem then. If he's a typical Italian American with a Brooklyn accent then he'll be pretty much unintelligible to most people. (Just for the record, I love the Brooklyn accent, but it is a bit unusual).