Posts by Bilgepipe

Microsoft arranges 'safe' Silverlight and HTML marriage

Oh Dear

How can this possible not be an epic failure?

Microsoft - still not learning...

Microsoft badmouths Google over fed contract win

Shape of Things to Come

MS had better get used to this, I have a feeling it's going to happen more and more as competitors start to offer a viable alternative to the Windows/Office monopoly.

As for the vitriol they are spewing on the blogs, how does the saying go...? First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, then you win.

Imagin IMEB-5 colour e-book reader

Heh

Like the use of the iPad user guide to test it...

Toshiba unwraps rubber-clad dual-core netbook

Brown!?

Mmmmmmmm, brown-coloured gadgets...... </homersimpson>

Facebook figures suggest WinPho 7 user base still small

Waiting

I'm sure the rest are just waiting for Windows Live Social Networking Home Premium Edition to be released for their phones.

Or something.

HP dumps Microsoft's Vail Home Server 'to focus on webOS'

Fail

Microsoft. Because it's easier to drop features than to get them working properly.

DDoS attack, sex warrant won't stop Assange's leaky discharge

Red Notice

So why has the screenshot got "Arrest Warrant Issued By" clearly printed on it? They either issued one or they didn't.

Apple patents glasses-free, multi-viewer 3D

Reading Comprehension?

Did you actually read the article? The system tracks people as they move.

Interpol issues arrest notice for Wikileaks' Julian Assange

Arrest Warranty

The screen shot quite clearly states "Arrest Warrant Issued By." And it's red.

Microsoft waves arms, signals 2.5m Kinect sales

Linux

Judging by all the "Kinect Hacked" articles, most of these sales were to Linux users....

NASA to make MAJOR ALIENS REVELATION this week

Kirk Here....

They're going to release classified documents that reveal Captain Kirk really DID travel back in time to 1969.

Wikileaks: Berlusconi useless, Pope Catholic

Assange

Do you think he'll leak the memo where the US government calls him a nosy tw*t?

Saviour

Julian Assange is the Saviour of Mankind. Let us all kneel and give thanks for his benevolent "leaking" of a substantial list of new Trivial Pursuit questions for us mere mortals to enjoy. In fact, I'm off to set up a shrine.

Saint Jobs, because there's no Saint Assange.

WikiLeaks re-taunts feds with US Amazon mirrors

Yawn

All this folk hero has done so far is "expose" the fact that governments complain about each other behind the scenes. Big deal, as if no-one knew that already.

Colour me unimpressed.

Mozilla rages at MS, Apple and Google's 'trojan horse' tactics

He's right

Last time I installed Firefox, some junk McAfee security website vetting nonsense appeared by magic, without asking me and without announcing itself. First I saw was when Firefox started declaring which sites it thought were suitable for me to visit.

On the other hand, FF should NOT be activating these plugins if it finds they haven't been installed by the user. What, 20 lines of code to implement this?

How easy would it be for some malware author to use this mechanism to slip a bank-account sniffer into the browser? The percentage of users who wouldn't notice this - or know what to do about it - would probably make it worthwhile.

US woman @theashes stumped by cricketing tweets

Quantus??

Huge, famous and well-known airline name research fail.

The Mac that saved Apple (and Steve Jobs)

Win95

I'm sure we all remember Bill Gates' and his hilarious on-stage USB "demonstration".

Whatever the bitter and twisted anti-Apple-tards might post in these articles, Apples resurgence redefined the PC industry - and that's why *every* major tech company is now scrambling to keep up with them.

A pint for Mr Jobs.

HP's new relationship makes Oracle 'very furious'

Bkok!

What's that sound? Sort of a clucking, flapping, chickens-coming-home-to-roost kind of a noise....

Opera 11 goes beta with extensions, stacked tabs

@Andy Towler

"...so who cares?"

Well you cared enough to come in here and comment.

Unarmed Royal Navy T45 destroyer breaks down mid-Atlantic

Sticks and Stones

Perhaps they should equip it with some very sharp sticks, and perhaps a few hand-sized rocks for throwing, just in case, you know, it has to /fight/ or something.

'Phantom Ray' robot warjet to ride atop NASA shuttle-carrier 747

Decisions, decisions

Isn't a machine making the final kill decision against the Geneva Convention?

iPAD, KINDLE, all tablets and slablets MADE OBSOLETE

Thrown away...?

I hope you mean "recycled." I don't want my Council fining me for chucking out loads of unrecyclable paper along with all the RFID tags and food packaging.

Google lures Microsoft Officers with Docs plug-in

Chairs

I heard a new shipment of office chairs was delivered to Redmond recently - this explains it.

Verizon revives Microsoft's unhappy hipster phone

Tagline

"Microsoft KIN...... Oh go on, please..."

Swedish prosecutors seek Assange arrest

Whereabouts

"His current whereabouts are unknown."

Just switch the over-inflated-ego scanner on - the big red blob on the screen will be him.

Windows malware dominates Mac malware detection chart

Eh?

Which blithering idiot thought it was a good idea to be able to script Windows Media Player from within a media file?

Oh, Bill Gates again. Never mind.

Will Facebook target ads across the interwebs?

Zuckerberk

Zuckerberk and his nauseating website are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with modern corporations. He doesn't have customers or users, he has pieces of data to be sold and manipulated for his own ends. And he's fooled them into willingly handing that data over of their own volition.

The sooner Facebook and everything it stands for disappears, the better. Sadly, peoples inherent need to pimp their egos on a daily basis means that won't happen.

Oracle Java submission hastens Apache showdown

Epic, EPIC Fail

Mongrel of a language? Know how many modern technologies are blatant copies of/based on Java? C#? Cocoa? .NET?

Do some research, saves making a massive twat of yourself. Better still, just pipe down altogether.

Facebook message security risks 'open door to Web 2.0 botnet'

Simple

My solution is simple - avoid Facebook completely. I'll just add *@facebook.com to my email spam list - *@hotmail.com is already there.

DVD, BD retailers warn punters off non-DVD, BD Xmas gifts

3D?

Ahh, but can you make *3D* bread? Eh? Didn't think so...

Royal Wedding: Prince Charles is a ZX81, Wills is an iPad

WTF?

How do you know how long the iPads battery will last? Are you Doctor Who or something? Get back under your bridge.

Apple readies iTunes for Beatles juice, says report

The title is unimportant, but must contain letters and/or digits.

A little too late, anyone who wants their songs will already have the recent remasters.

-1 for the use of "fanboi", which is becoming really old now...

Twitter joke martyr loses appeal

Fail

He did a very foolish thing. Free Speech doesn't include sending bomb hoaxes, and the users of Twatter need to learn that having a Twatter account doesn't give you free reign to say anything you want to and not expect repercussions.

Don't threaten to blow up airports in a public forum. Nuff said.

Facebook joins Apple and Google in data center wonderland

Wow

I bet that place will hold a lot of status updates.

Microsoft looks to KIN for support

iOS?

Can the KIN be jailbroken to run iOS? Might be worth picking one up.

Microsoft Xbox 360 Kinect

So...

So, a textb.... damn, beaten to the punch.

So did Windows Phone 7 'bomb in US'?

Fixed

"Some of us are old enough to remember when Microsoft was the good guy, fighting against the mammoth IBM"

You mean "shafting" the mammoth IBM, as per most Microsoft "partners." Microsoft has never been the "good guy."

Facebook account-protection push opts for scare tactics

Oh no, not El Reg too...

"A Reg staffer was confronted by the account protection push earlier this week"

You mean even the staff at El Reg have succumbed to the Facebook plague?

I'm gutted, gutted I tell you.

First day WinPho 7 sales top 40k, claims market watcher

Give me an F, give me an A, given me an I....

Still, it's more than the KIN....

Facebook engineer bashes Google for Gmail block

Free

"Google said it's preventing data from moving between Gmail and Facebook because it believes data should be set free."

This doesn't exactly conjure up images of little packets of personal information flitting from tree to tree. Both of these companies want to harvest all this data for their own money-making and nefarious purposes. They just don't like each other doing to their own data.

Handbags at dawn. In the meantime, I'll keep my list of friends away from both of them.

'One-trick pony' Zuckerberg yet to prove CEO worth

Vaporvalue

It all sounds very nebulous to me - vaporvalue, if you will. What is Facebook worth? It's worth what someone might be prepared to pay for it, or what Zukerberk might be prepared to sell it for. But it's all theoretical - as you say, one mighty lawsuit will change these notional values overnight.

Whatever cash Zukerberk has in the bank, I still can't understand where it came from. I mean, I'm sure he isn't selling information on his userbase, fr'instance.

Steelie Neelie calls for 'every vehicle digital'

Great

"It looks like you're about to have an accident. Would you like help with that?"

Google punts free in-flight Wi-Fi for holiday travelers

Ads

“We are constantly working to help provide a better web experience to users around the world,”

Oops, slip of the tongue. He means "ads," not "web experience."

The forgotten, fat generation of Mac Portables

Memory Lane

It's amazing how far tech has come in the last couple of decades. Just look at that compared to the Air.

I remember getting an Elonex 33Mhz 368 tower at work in the early-mid 90's that cost three and a half grand.

Hacker unshackles Kinect from Xbox

Eh?

Wait, what? Tilt? Why does this thing tilt up and down? Weird.

Police get ready for body parts audit

I Loled

Best post ever.

Ballmer cuts stake in Microsoft with shares sale

Crap

Yeah, but Microsoft's mobile and tablet products were crap. Only the most rabid of M$ apologists will try and compare Windows Mobile - in all it's myriad of incompatible guises - to iOS. And XP-based tablet machines were a commercial failure. I saw one, and it was junk.

Now that their competitors have shown M$ how it's done, they have plenty of inspiration to copy - as per the standard MS business model - and so WP7 might be mildly successful. However, like it or not, everyone but M$ has made mobile computing a success. Apple et al are not the Johnnie-come-lately, here - Microsoft are the tail-draggers.

Steve Jobs chucks Apple server biz from pram

Maths

It's simple maths. Judging by the appallingly low XServe sales figures, Apple only stock the candy it's customers like.

The execution might suck, but if there's no money to be made in selling expensive "luxury" servers then the decision is sound.

PARIS joins the 17-mile-high club

Awesome

This entire project is made of awesome.

Adobe Flash foils MacBook Air battery life

ClickToFlash

There is indeed a Safari flash blocker, ClickToFlash.