* Posts by Al fazed

274 posts • joined 14 Jul 2009

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Happy Friday? Darktrace gets 40 per cent boost on London IPO debut

Al fazed
Flame

Re: Not a fan of their tactics

I could Hazard a guess

Alf Hazard

Palantir co-founder, CEO Alexander Karp gets $1.1bn bumper payday in IPO year

Al fazed
Mushroom

wasters

The fact that some nutter at the AI company thinks that a big fat fucking wage packet makes common sense, leaves me with one huge question,

Intelligence ? WTF ?

If even the UK Intelligence snoops are shit at their job, what chance has a company got where it's head honcho is dreaming of babes in surf on a trip to Mars in his flying fucking car.........

Yes Arseifacial Inellegant........... sicko's

Al fazed
FAIL

Re: AI

Indeed as a long time Reg reader I have been watchig the spread of AI, which I prefer to use the initials to represent Artificial Idiocy.

To date (68 years old) I have met few if any intelligent humans. Sure we all have our moments of blinding common sense, but how many use their innate creativity to solve problems ? Most people dip in a shallow bag of aphorisms, like, this is going to hurt me more than it will you..... and there are plenty more like this still in circulation in the top layers of this so called "democracy".

In a world where there are many variations of the name for anything, what sort of arrogant twat thinks they have th capability to collect data and process it without bias ? Only bossy psychopathic tree climbing capitalist pig dogs need apply ?????

AH well, my old uni is currently running lectures on AI, one of the examples is the fucking ticketing machine system at a large cuntry house near Oxbog, which analyses (annal eyes) sales data so the owners can predict how to rake in more money from the punters........

Say no more........... Artificial what ?????

ALF

UK government gives Automated Lane Keeping Systems the green light for use on motorways

Al fazed
Mushroom

Re: Thought experiment

Now if the cars are fitted with destructive laser weapons, like something that can vapourise the "logs", whatever - like Microsoft vapourises the point of MSC qualifications, Google invents it's own standards for safe browsing,

Mate, if NASA has an arm for chucking 9 tonnes of used batteries out of the Space station window, then cars should be capable of doing similar sorts of stupid stunts when it comes to replacing the battery.............or a bunch of stupid logs....

ALF

Al fazed
Thumb Up

Re: No win situation

As long as I can safely wazz around town at more than 10mph it'll be a blessed bonus in Oxford, 37mph is crazy man.

ALF

Al fazed
Facepalm

Re: US Driving

Driving interestate friends tel me is limited to 50mph on many of the roads, so yes an auto driving system would be invaluable for me as driving at this speed is when I am most likely to fall asleep at the wheel.

Luckily in UK it's difficult to get above 70mph for more than a feew miles, in fact let's be honest, the distance between towns is so short and the motorways so crowded, you are luck if you can get up 50 mph on most motorways, most days of the week, or even in the middle of the night if you use the M6.

We need cars with pillows that automatically catch your head when it falls over. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ALF

Al fazed
Unhappy

Typical

US automatic driverless vehicles seem to be happy operating with a 20% inefficiency as the passengers are happy enough carrying an empty seat around town and watching a steering wheel turn by itself, OH GEEZ WOW !

.

China has a satellite with an arm – and America worries it could be used to snatch other spacecraft

Al fazed
Mushroom

NASA has a space station with an arm too, it recently used it to fling 9 tonnes of used batteries into the galactic ocean, so watch out China yeah.............

Alf

Belgian police seize 28 tons of cocaine after 'cracking' Sky ECC's chat app encryption

Al fazed
Happy

Re: 28 million grammes of coke

Belgians have for a long while thought of as too passive, not very exciting. Now this statement coming from a Brit is as you can see how bloody awfully boring it must have been living in Belgium before they discovered cocaine........

Al fazed
WTF?

Re: 28 million grammes of coke

A different hit entirely. But people still like to experiment with drugs, reckon it's safer than skiing, surfing, sky diving, pot holing, jogging.......

Al fazed

Re: "breaking encryption"

Apparently, until the general availability of desktop computers the CIA in collab with some other secret service or (wish I'd book marked the Register story) ran a security business with a machine that companies and governments could buy via an outlet in Germany.

Of course none that purchased this device knew it was actually owned by the CIA who now knew all their deepest vilest secrets plots and plans.

Problem with getting old, I forget to use Bookmarks, obvious incipient dementia, HELP

Al fazed

Just a build up in supply chain, waiting for clearance for export to UK after Brexit

Al fazed

Re: Cocaine

Or a fatter tube

Chairman, CEO of Nominet ousted as member rebellion drives .uk registry back to non-commercial roots

Al fazed
WTF?

As a director of a not for profit organisation, I am very surprised that the FCA has not become involved regarding the divergence between the last company directors actions and the "not for profit" clause in Nominet's Governing Document.

UK.gov awards seats on £2bn 'digital outcomes' framework to suppliers – one of which doesn't even have a website

Al fazed
Happy

seriously ?

WTF springs to mind.

Another total fucking disaster in the making, bagsomoney for the privifew. Only 1%, still not bad - wahey

Is anything new happening ?

Is this IT news or just it ..................

ALF

SitePoint hacked: Hashed, salted passwords pinched from web dev learning site via GitHub tool pwnage

Al fazed
Mushroom

Since Microsoft took over GitHub it seems like any other Windose to date, the platform of Swiss cheese makers and sewer of patches to stop your arse hanging out.............

Sigh...........

ALF

Nominet faces showdown with British internet industry: Extraordinary vote called to oust CEO, board members

Al fazed
FAIL

Re: Too little, too late.

Unfortunately, the charitable sector itself was some time back, seen as undeveloped territory for these types of second class manageing directors. There's often plenty of room in the bodies Governing Documents which allows these sharkish folks to ramp up senior staff salaries and even pay professional "volunteers" (who have been "seconded from their specialist industry") out of the income to these public benefit societies.

That's why I used the term "tape worms".

AND NOW Totally off topic:

If you ever used a "charity shop" you may have noticed how, once "inexpensive" second hand" items now display price labels that you'd exopect to see at antiques puveyors, like Bonhams or Southeby's. And the unloved stuffs which should have sold for pennies to enrich some poor persons life, now invariabley stays on the shop shelf until it's landfill time.

I suppose people like CEO Russell Haworth think this is progress..........

Alf

Al fazed
Unhappy

Where do

these shameless greedy fu**ers get their business management training ?

Talk about unethical.

Unfortunately, the whole of modern British Infrastructure seems to be over run with these psychopathic tape worm types gorging themselves into extinction and bleeding the place dry and in the process creating a foul stink that tarnishes their speck in history.

What amount of money is enough ? More more more ?

Mores Law...........

I will get my coat.............

Alf

Boss behind 'reset' of delayed, overbudget Emergency Services Network shifts to new 'digital' Cabinet Office role

Al fazed
Trollface

Re: Ms Davinson's career

It is good news if you apply the Damoclease theory, ie; at this rate it won't be long before the complete and utter failure of govermins to er, govern anything with any level of public confidence.

Then it'll be back to the drawing boards and everyone using pen and paper to wortk basic stuff out, like employinh someone with the requisite skills to do the job.............

oh bolloxs, my mistake she does have the "right" skills set, I am looking at the picture upside down..............

ALF

Two English councils sign up to Azure for six years in £35m reseller deal as ERP project faces delays, ballooning costs

Al fazed
Facepalm

No wonder

it is so expensive to live in Cheshire.

I guess it's going to get even more costly over the next six years possibly.........

Does any council in the UK have an IT person on their Management Committee ?

ALF

UK's AI fairy tale sets out on its yellow-brick roadmap

Al fazed

And ?

I have a long memory and as far as mine is still working and the brain is responding to stimulii, I don't see any change in the form of political idiocy. What's new ? Two letters .... AI ?

Three letters WTF.

These wannabe historical mouth pieces are just privileged and big wage earners, doing their usual cow towing to the whims of their own particular big business mates. They blatantly ignore the research/findings of any organisation that is considerd a leader in the field, or even a regulator of the field, whilst still pumping public money into it. The "political type" personality will always favour their school chums, professional mates and relatives over the best person/outfit for the job. And they should not be allowed to enter politics, the military or business, unless you are hoping for controversy..

My guru tells me to not worry about making mistakes every day, just don't keep making the same mistake whilst expecting a different outcome.

Lets get rid of these expensive clowns before we have a real disaster. And we don't need AI to see it coming.

Why are they not building more hospitals and schools to deal with the huge loss in front line troops caused by the on going pandemic ?

Because AI did not tell them to ?

So far, in 68 years of life I have seen little signs of human intelligence, please indicate why people are interested in creating replicas of our idiocies. HELP HELP HELP HELP He..

As Uncle Sam continues to clamp down on Big Tech, Apple pelted with more and more complaints from third-party App Store devs

Al fazed
WTF?

Gob smacked ..... still !

After all these years and reports of that "big business" attitude, ie; playground bully, exploiter of anything exploitable, why oh why do people still follow the shit shovel onto the dung heap ?

It's products aren't even that svelt or stylich anymore, just more over priced landfill ............. yet product developers seem to be like lemmings heading to a cliff, ignoring all the signs whilst confidently signing the praises of being dead.

As a once upon a time, "would be" software developer, I saw no tasty carrot before me, just a very ragged harness. Seemed like there was more work around helping folks out with the issues caused by their Apple fixation.

Why do people buy this crap ? And more to the point, why do people wish to have their names associated with this sort of enterprise ? One that is OBVIOUSLY holding tech back.

So to my mind being an app developer don't prove you are smart, no matter what the "temptations" of biting into the b/witches poisoned fruit would have you believe.

ALF

LibreOffice 7.1 beta boasts impressive range of features let down by a lack of polish and poor mobile efforts

Al fazed
Thumb Up

Re: Annoying little Libre ? well...........

Yes..... of course, but there's still the unwanted blank space I discoverd which some peeps here will says is a feature. I work supporting newbs of all ages and mental capacities, these brainiacs just make my job that much harder instead of easier........ So Microsoft gets the job, I'm afraid.

Al fazed
Facepalm

Re: Annoying little Libre ? well...........

Hmmm, I was under the impression the project developers wanted "normal" as well as the "unteachable" people to use their software, not just software developers. Durr....

Al fazed
Mushroom

Annoying little Libre ? well...........

Well,

it's because of Libre Office's many failings, including the rather rude, and very pushy install on all Linux distros I have treid, which then prevents the install of Apache Open Office (my personal choice of office software) - unless you are sufficiently well informed that you can carve up the boot process to remove the Libre Office command and allow Open Office to install, that I have gone back to using Micrtosoft Orifice on Windose for desktop office work.

As long as I have been using it, several years now, I dicovered early on that Libre Office Calc does some naughties with my data and these BUGS are still present.

Enter a http or @ symbol in a cell and it automatically becomes a hyper link, great, you say !! Except that this action also hides from view the data I just typed, leaving only a very small grey smudge visible in each cell instead. In order for me to now see what I have typed, (?) I now need to go and Insert a Hyperlink into that cell. BUT first I must select the very small grey smudge in the cell, then when I go to Insert Hyperlink, I can actually see the text I want to see and I can now COPY the text I wrote previously in one cell - into the TEXT field which is now presented below the hyperlinked text and BINGO, after pressing ENTER I can see the data again where I typed it first off.

Oh oh, not so fast............

Why is that Libre Office automatically inserted Hyperlink NOT taking me to the web site of the link I just clicked on or not opening my eMail client ???????

Oh FFS - there's a hidden, almost invisible, totally unwanted, BLANK SPACE in every single TEXT field in the speadsheet insert hyperlink dialogue box, which remains after pasting my chosen TEXT into the cell...... Oh fuck OFF !!!! I've had enough.

ALFAZED

LibreOffice rains on OpenOffice's 20th anniversary parade, tells rival project to 'do the right thing' and die

Al fazed
Flame

Re: THIS IS AN EX-PROJECT!

You developers and coders really get on my nerves, the bloody PROJECT is dead BUT the application is ten times better than Libre (FUCK OFF) Offices attempt to rule the roost.

Basically, "letter notes that LibreOffice saw more than 15,000 code commits in 2019, compared to 595 for OpenOffice" but leaves out the all important bit about Libre Office installs by default on most Linux OSes, and once that happens, anyone "WHO IS NOT A DEVELOPER OR CODER BUT WANTS TO USE APACHE OPEN OFFICE" will be unable to install it......Thanks (LIBRE) WTF Orrifice.

The END USERS just want to use the fucking thing...........

ALF

BoJo buckles: UK govt to cut Huawei 5G kit use 'to zero by 2023' after pressure from Tory MPs, Uncle Sam

Al fazed
Alien

Bags of bullshit sitting in a tree waiting to fall on me

Technology ends when politicians think they can be in control of it................

Al fazed
Thumb Up

Re: Anone surpised?

If people read deeper into IR35 they would see a parallel with the tax regime in USA. Now that's what I call strange.........., but I am not surprised at all

Al fazed
Happy

Re: Disgusting

Join the 40 year old club, you are welcome

Al fazed
Facepalm

Of course

A good old fashioned capitalist outfit like Apple (insert company name) would never dream of nicking someone elses ideas or source code for use in their own products, would they ?

Al fazed
FAIL

Re: Its OK...

if they are all this paranoid its not far fetched to believe the *?* government/firm could stick bugs in any electronic kit made in factories in their country.

Al fazed
WTF?

HS2

"Shouldn't a first world country be able to build its own infrastructure?"

Orange has an elegant solution to Huawei question in France: We'll stick with Nokia and Ericsson for 5G networks

Al fazed
IT Angle

some clarity

ha ha ha

no - stoppit

ha ha ha

Senior health tech pros warn NHS England: Be transparent with mass database trawl or face public backlash

Al fazed
FAIL

and provide better healthcare overall

Well let's have a look at data integrity.

It's something your average GP doesn't have much control over.

A little while ago, GP's and other Health Care Professionals were encouraged to run a "worthiness" triage on their client base. This was supposed to root out malingerers and other service abusers, just like the DWP Welfare System changes from DLA to PIP, "Sick Notes" being replaced with "Fit Notes".

So in this biased and ever changing value system, which seems to be fed primarily by the personal opinions of people who have already filtered out things like, scroungers, you know .... junkies, the unemployed, people with depression and anxiety and existing complimentary treatments, fringey stuff like Mc Timoney Chiropractics, Aromatherapy, THC/CBD and Psylocybin, etc --- Yeah we are defintely going to be in a much better position for making informed decisions in the future about UK population's health needs.

Oh Yeah, pull the other one. If this is supposedly the point of the exercise, even I know that this baby is destined to crash and burn before it leaves the ground, but only after the corporate mothersuckers have all the relevant data they need for making better drugs, life insurance policies, prisons........

UK cops lost nearly twice as much of their own tech kit this year, says thinktank

Al fazed
Happy

Did they

check FarceBook Marketplace ?

Emirati 'surveillance app' ToTok promoted by Huawei as Apple punts it from store

Al fazed
WTF?

Re: Confused

Obviously, you weren't around back then...........

LibreOffice 6.4 nearly done as open-source office software project prepares for 10th anniversary

Al fazed

Lost for words

Ie; using Libre Office I have lost several documents which either simply did not Save anything when asked to do so.

Agravation set in when I discovered Libre Office blocking my attempts to install Open Office on Debian 9.8.

Other niggles include Libre Office hiding all of the hundreds of hyperlinks I have in my spreadsheets, which are visible in both Microsoft Office and Open Office applications.

Unfortunately it isn't relaibly ready for business use, unless you like occasional shocks and loss of data.

ALF

We've heard of spam filters but this is ridiculous: Pig-monkey chimeras developed in a Chinese laboratory

Al fazed
Facepalm

Re: The ultimate goal of the experiments is not to create a race of hideous super-monsters

Yeah, and they won't be after your fucking sun glasses either..............

Al fazed
WTF?

Re: "all died within a week"

But what did they taste like ?

Al fazed
Go

Re: Is this really necessary ?

Necessary doesn't come into it anymore.

When you wrote, "Someone will eventually take things out of the public lab", it reminded me of home videos I've recently seen on YouTube, showing you how to do everything from make your own CBD oil to Gene splitting and splicing for dummies.

In tribute to Galaxy Note 7, BBC iPlayer support goes up in flames for some Samsung TVs

Al fazed
Mushroom

TV, TV, TV, ???

I was under the impression that TV watching was a thing of the past anyways, since the birth of the Internet. Think I read this in an article in the Reg recently.

So BBC have adopted Microsofts attitude to their customers, "we don't give a fuck, this is what we are doing, and this is what you are getting, and it probably won't work for everyone, yeah !" Or did that sound like Apple ? Oracle ? ISOC ?

I wouldn't mind if the BBC programs were any good anyway.

I believe they have shot their load after David Attenborough, Top Gear etc jumped ship.

Even my 90 year old mum reckons that "War of the Worlds" was the worst period drama she's ever seen.

Now if we really had Smart TVs we could set it to block the BBC .........

Does anything work anymore ? Is anything worth paying for ? Plastic shite anyway.

ALF

Join us on our new journey, says Wunderlist – as it vanishes down the Microsoft plughole

Al fazed
Happy

Hmmmm

pen and paper still works for me

Internet Society CEO: Most people don't care about the .org sell-off – and nothing short of a court order will stop it

Al fazed
Devil

I was under the assumption

I was under the assumption that businesses registered in the UK which have been incorporated as "Not for Profit", there are still a couple of formats like "a Company Limited by Guarantee", "Community Benevolent Society", "Charitable Incorpoarate Company" etc. In the Rules or Articles of Association it must contain a locking clause which is intended to prevent the distribution of assets, other for the original intended purpose. This is usually accomplished by transfer of assets to an organisation with similar Aims and Objectives of not for profit.

So Twat happened here ? I am hastened to ask.

Is there no fucking oversight now at Companies House or the Financial Conduct Authority ?

OMG

£1bn Brit court digitisation scheme would be great ... if Wi-Fi situation wasn't 'wholly inadequate'

Al fazed
Devil

Fucked up thinking process

IMHO it doesn't matter whether the fucking Wi Fi works or not. The lawyers, solicitors, prosecutors all put their heads together and decided the outcome before anyone stands in the dock. It doesdn't matter whether the person is really guitly or not as they will get their way and a successful prosecution even when the evidence available is to the contrary.

It's so fucking corrupt how much more fucked up can it get ?

Oh yeah hide this crap behind some AI techno babble.

ALF

Please tell us why you're not securing yourselves, UK.gov asks businesses

Al fazed
Pirate

It's all a load of bollocks

Between the people who want systems and the people who make them there are so many opportunities to create a cluster fuck, you need to be very well versed before you implement an IT system, however, any idiot can build a web page using Word Press or similar, and as it has aalready been pointed out, the IT skill set in business is dimishing. I know several people who eventaully packed away there IT company in favour of regular work sweeping up and a healthy work life balance.

Small companies make up the greatest number of businesses, but employ the least staff.

The Go Vermins via the HMRC and the Courts are crushing the IT experts and their business models in ridiculously imbecillic ways whilst allowing multinationals away without paying any tax.

The sooner they all comletely fuck up the economy with their safety critic systems and fake news, concepts of Farcificial Intelligence and 5 fucking G, the better.

Sadly until those twits with any pretentions to being in power decist their bullying and come down from their ivory towers and enter the real world, computer security is a damn good business to be in, if any business is ................

700km on a single charge: Mercedes says it's in it for the long run

Al fazed
WTF?

BOLLOXS

Can someone please discuss how using fucking great batteries makes this dick embiggening fad carbon nuetral ?

Al fazed

Like a grotty data addict desperately jonesing for its next fix, Google just can't stop misbehaving

Al fazed
Devil

Kiddy fiddling

Apart from the kiddy fiddling going on at Google HQ where adults monitor input, especially input from voice commands, there's the diabolical fact that they pay no tax, or very little in the country where they make their advertising money from.

I wouldn't mind if their search results were any good.

recently Google seems incapable of using a search string with any degree of accuracy.

I search for ceramics collections in Manchester UK, with results from New York, promoting ceramics "workshops", "studios", exhibitions of anything but ceramics from years gone by, shopping for pottery, agregation web sites repaeting the search results above. Press "see more" and I get the above repeated twice more in teh same order.

Generally speaking, I'd say they have lost the plot and are becoming increasingly irrelevant.

Al fazed

elections/polls were heavily influenced

Watch the film The Great Hack for documentary evidence obtained from Cambridge Analytica marketing material. Talk about laughing behind their hands !

Tesla Autopilot crash driver may have been eating a bagel at the time, was lucky not to get schmeared on road

Al fazed

Re: Because most Tesla drivers are not pilots.

I seem to remember that at least one of these dozey plonkers driving/notdriving a Tesla was a pilot

Can't bear to part with that well-worn copy of Windows 7? Microsoft might let you keep it updated an extra year

Al fazed
FAIL

Re: Good. Another year for people to move away from Windows

No !

You will have to keep your old MS XP and 7 boxes running but disconnected from the outside world, if you want to preserve the applications and performance you are used to.

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