Posts by hplasm

IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

FacebookIS blocked on her laptop.

Permanently.

The 45 was missed out, sadly.

From the Windows toolbox article...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/02/09/windows_tools_of_the_trade_not_always_best_for_the_job/

The hammer is only

in the Standard Issue IT toolkit.

He has the Delux.

/Don't fuck with the BOFH!

Coming to a continent near you: America

But of course, old bean-

One doesn't want to get too chummy with the neighbours.

PipPip!

Half buried starship.

With the engine going, to restart the Earth's rotation...

In the end-

Civilisation will arrive in the New World.

What's in the box, Windows sysadmin?

It was about Tools for Windows admin...

Big Fucking Hammer.

Greenpeace releases 'Cool IT' rankings

Just for balance...

I thought the pro- warming lot were the sheep-fondlers?

Russians drill into buried 20 million-year-old Antarctic lake

Waiter! This ice cube's got a hole in it!

That's no ice cube Sir, that's my wife!

/boom *tish*

Underwater fire!

That would be very cool...

(Perhaps the extra O2 would balance out the nasty CO2 we have to keep climbing over, so it's not all bad news!)

"He actually wrote 'aaaaiiiiiiieeeeeee' did he?"

"Well....maybe he was dictating..."

Spacemen urge NASA to build nuke ship for Mars trip

Hello Mankind!

Final exam time.

Do this or fucking die off and give the beetles a chance.

Or at least feed the accountants to them.

And the lawyers.

and- oh, you fill in the rest...

Windows Phone 8 to get NFC, HD and Skype

With this news

I don't see why anyone would buy wp7 when they can wait.

It must reflect in sales?

If they want wp7 then surely it will become fire-sale cheap once 8 is out.

Nokia Lumia 710

So Jim-

You admit there is no multitasking.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Death of IE6 still greatly exaggerated, says browser hit squad

html

blink

was *never* cool, JDX.

NASA: Solar system may have alien origin

That would be on*

Magrathea.

*Or in it, in n-spatial terms...

String Plankton-

why not?

Climategate ruling: FOIA requests cover backup servers too

Re:shhhhhhhh - omnomnom

That hissing noise is your O2 tank leaking- you probably need more CO2 in your room as you are certainly showing signs of hyperoxygenating,..

Met Office cuts off Linux users with new weather widgets

You are correct!

How odd.

Star Trek tractor beam to save Earth from asteroid Armageddon

All true, Charles 9-

but the 'gravity tractor' here is really a gravitation attractor- ie a big mass.

Students busted for hacking computers, changing grades

Smart people

would read the article carefully before commenting...

Judges set timetable for McKinnon case resolution

I wish they would come

for the trolls.

Try a 'shroom before ruling on chill pills, boffin tells gov

I do not respect

your lack of authoritaaative drug knowledge.

Just like most Govt proclamations, then.

Which also leave a foul taste in the mouth, and induce the desire to vomit.

iPad users 'risk shoulder pain', say US gov, Microsoft boffins

Woof!

barking at the mirror again?

Fair and balanced reporting!

Don't want anyone to think that MS have a monopoly in producing products that are just a pain in the neck...

Scalextric restarts space race with Star Wars craft

Pod Racing!

But better on TCR or something like where you can change lanes at will for Dick Dastardly manoevers...

Potent proton pulse to BOMBARD EARTH Tuesday morn

Er...

and you won't be killed by yer geraniums either....

Did you hear that woosh?

Russia and NASA plan to COLONISE the Moon

It's not real money.

So why not forget about that unimportant shit?

No other people.

See title.

Far

too soon.

Quantum physics to encrypt clouds of the future - boffins

Or too hard!

You have to squint,and try to catch a glimpse of them from the very corner of your eye...

Oh, and whatever you do- Don't Blink!!

Windows Phone to overtake iOS in 2015

Things you don't often see in a sentence; #18.

Microsoft...

Innovate...

...in Phones.

Congress puts PIPA and SOPA on back burner

With all of the 'protect American earnings' flannel

that is supposed to drive these absurd acts,would a protest by say, Sweden, for example that involved not buying any **AA 'product' for a day or so be seen as such a act of Swashbuckling as to to cause Sweden to be cut off from the interwebs? They do all belong to the US after all...

SOPA is dead. Are you happy now?

The SOBs being-

THe MPIAA? Other organised crimelords^H^H^H^H content providers/lawyers? Or 'freetards' who don't own a computer but get sued for millions?

International task force- don't make me laugh. It's already an international farce.

Ok!

So you are pretty much anti-SOPA then?

Nuke support in UK hits record high

Yeah-

and another Tunguska -bam!- no more Russian Gas.

Your point?

NT daddy turns his hand to Xbox

If it was true-

PCs would be running VMS.

Rumoured 'GarageBand for e-books' to bulldoze textbook biz

Oh noes!

Just as GarageBand destroyed the music biz, now anyone who has trouble reading a textbook can write their own, WikiFiddler style...

NASA study identifies the ‘low hanging fruit’ in climate change

I predict a-

Burger Tax.

Skype is coming to Windows Phone - really

It's not hard to spell W.i.n.d.o.w.s

Microsoft's master stroke: Pay store staff per WinPhone sold

desperation?

Train Wreck?

Where's the slo-mo? Where's the 3D?

Looks like the WP trainwreck experience is lacking...

Windows 8 to get self-healing 'Storage Spaces'

If you keep your Windows desktop running 24/7 then...

it will stop working.

Surely storage IS simple?

It's just retrieving the damn stuff in one piece that is the hard bit.

Backups are Write Only, as any fule kno...

It does sound like it will work, at least up to a point.

But why do MS take something simple, like networking, and make it so oddly complicated? They've done it again with this.

Satnav mishap misery cure promised at confab

At least the satnav

won't blow away when you open the window.

Agreed

In general, I know vaguely where I am, and where roughly I am heading. The last mile though can be the killer. Getting back home on autopilot is great.

And it's fun to wind the satnav up when you know there's a better route than the one it wants you to take...

US 'space warplane' may be spying on Chinese spacelab

Perhaps-

But until someone decides to invest here (wherever 'here' happens to be) all we can do is still keep banging the rocks together and hope for improvement.

HSBC pinpoints branches with sub-atomic accuracy

Impressive- that they know exact locations for their branches;

But scary- that they know the exact location of their customers...