* Posts by hplasm

5611 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Musk: I want to retrieve rockets with big Falcon party balloons

hplasm
Happy

"Explains why LOHAN has never happened ... "

"...you're doing the rocket/baloon thing the wrong way round!"

Ballockets! I say!

You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

hplasm
FAIL

Re: Laws and Lessons

"There is little doubt what he did was against the law."

Wrong!

There is a LOT of doubt about that.

Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

hplasm
Happy

Windows Springwatch

By Windows insider, Willie Mc Boingboing.

Microsoft has designed an Arm Linux IoT cloud chip. Repeat, an Arm Linux IoT cloud chip

hplasm
Windows

" Microsoft's custom security controller"

Or 'length of wire' as it is more usually known.

Having ended America's broadband woes, the FCC now looks to space

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Just

Pai the backhander.

And a new nickname is coined!

Boeing CEO takes aim at Musk’s Starman-in-a-Tesla stunt

hplasm
Devil

“So the Camaro is not going into space any time soon?”

Ha!

Muilenburg didn't even build the Camaro.

What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

hplasm
Pint

Re: How to know which ones are jokes?

You have hit the nail on the head-

These are the sort of things that 8yr olds dream up when asked to invent a device for the 'home of the future'.

Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

hplasm
Coat

Re: Ahh, parents

"...the "Sue" folder in "My Documents" "

Is she a lawyer too?

Total WIPOut: IT chief finds his own job advertised

hplasm
Unhappy

Re: Makes you think "Intellectual Property" is shady business ...

The Law is a tool used by Lawyers to make money.

It's April 2018, and we've had to sit on this Windows 10 Spring Creators Update headline for days

hplasm
Coat

Spring creators Edition

It's a wind up...

Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

hplasm
Stop

A council wonk said:...

"“Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes.” "

I say Bollocks. Just do the bloody work.

Oh - and stop thinking about kids...

Snubbed R Us: Microsoft eschews Vulture Consultants in Playmobil tech research

hplasm
Devil

RIP Lester :(

But, out of the darkness, light!

Microsoft are finally concentrating on what they are best at.

Toys! Yay!

Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

hplasm
Mushroom

Re: Nominative Determinism?

"Capcaisin kills prostate cancer cells:"

Blows the whole thing out of the airlock!

hplasm
Happy

How?

"I found out the hard way that rabbits love hot peppers."

After they machine-gunned the greenhouse...

UK.gov expected to quit controversial harvesting of schoolchildren's nationality data

hplasm

Hah.

"And starting us down the road of reducing benefits for those on less than £200k."

FTFY

hplasm
Happy

Re: they are stuffed with Muslims and similar foreigners.

"Foreigner = non indigenous British to many."

Bloody Vikings!

hplasm
Coat

Some hope then...

"...maybe he'll score a couple of F's or E's ."

He couldn't give an 'F', but if he can score a couple of 'E's that will take the strain off...

They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

hplasm
Alien

Re: There is no God given right to digital security

"As much as many people don't like to admit it, there is no God..."

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: We need a name for this, and I'll throw one out there:

"So that's it, I'm coining it: "Flat-Earth Encryption.""

+1 for you!

Coming soon "Young Earth Encryption" -6000 bit keys!

Modern life is rubbish – so why not take a trip down memory lane with Windows File Manager?

hplasm
Happy

Re: Bring back DOSEDIT

"Nothing wrong with emacs. Vi obviously is garbage though."

Bah! I say And Fie!

Microsoft Office 365 and Azure Active Directory go TITSUP*

hplasm
Devil

Good job they didn't call it Office 24/7/365

Pick any one...

hplasm
Gimp

Re: What a great advert for ...

"ChromeOS wouldn't have been any better, had its background services gone down..."

But, it didn't... unlike the usual suspect.

hplasm
Windows

Re: What a great advert for ...

"... Chrome OS? except, limited choice of desktop workstations

... MacOS? except, stupidly expensive

... Linux? except, blinded by choice and FUD"

Microsoft - All of the above, and worse?

hplasm
Devil

Blue Sky Thinking.

Depending on The Cloud is bad enough.... but Azure?

That's the blue bit in between Clouds - there's nothing there!

hplasm
Holmes

Re: Why???

An abomination.

Never light the sugar.

Don't want to alarm you, but defence bods think North Korea could nuke UK 'within a few years'

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Christ almighty...

Sadly, the answer is No, the reason is in the heading*...

*and the other, competing idols.

*Thunk* No worries, the UPS should spin up. Oh cool, it's in bypass mode

hplasm
Holmes

Infestation-

"Sometimes organisations just don't engage their brains – or it is someone else's problem. "

It's Beancounters. Like woodworm, once they get into the fabric of the company, they weaken the structure and are hard to eradicate.

They forked this one up: Microsoft modifies open-source code, blows hole in Windows Defender

hplasm
Devil

"It will unexpectedly switch from suck to blow with no warning."

So - Win 10 as normal, then?

EUROCONTROL outage causes flight delays across Europe

hplasm
Devil

Re: 5 Hours to switch over to Disaster Recovery System

"Right, that's it... all of you that cracked those bad jokes... you're grounded."

bloody Helicopter Parent!

Super Cali upstart's new rocket test approaches, even though the size of it won't launch a Tesla motor

hplasm
Thumb Up

Where's...

The Cheese?

Good luck to them tho '!

Furious gunwoman opens fire at YouTube HQ, three people shot

hplasm
Meh

How many more deaths does it take to silence the NRA ?

How many NRA chiefs are there?

It's baaack – WannaCry nasty soars through Boeing's computers

hplasm
Devil

Re: It is not only Windows

And Garmin are the *good* ones in GPS...

at least it;'s not a T**T**

hplasm
Joke

Re: OH !!

"Didn't US Submarines use Windows NT some time ago, Don't know about NOW!!!"

Stopped using it after it was discovered that the Kursk_(K-141) R.I.P had been using a pirate copy...

<too soon?>

hplasm
Pirate

Anyone care to speculate what would happen if they did?

The glorious return of the Airship!

hplasm
Happy

Re: Still fondly remember the morning hearing all those cries of grief ...

Ah, memories!

The first and only time I got a computer virus!

Small office, we all got it.. I got mine from a cutie - I couldn't belive she'd said that to me... :)

oh well...

hplasm
Happy

Re: Hmm ...

"a German immigrant to the USA who's name was Wilhelm Böing, whatever that name means. "

His Father was Willie McBoingboing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHyhUwVhzjw&index=53&list=PLZZtN23oxcjvhkhw8y_n-5YSVXxcwAj3g

Boing!

Get the message, PHBs: New York City mulls ban on after-hours biz email

hplasm
Happy

Re: I handed my work phone back in

Work phone?

Goes in the drawer at the end of the day.

Bye phone- see you tomorrow.

Extra money sees the phone have an outing.

'Nuff Said!

No Falcon Way: NASA to stick with SLS, SpaceX more like space ex

hplasm
Thumb Up

Well-

"But then I'm a crazy assed dreamer when it comes to getting humanity off the surface of this miserable swamp."

-poetic.

hplasm
Devil

Give NASA some credit.

"They were lifting twice the payload of the Flacon in the 60s."

Yeah, the Flacon was pretty disappointing... you never hear of it much.

Tantalising Tabby's Star teases watchers with big dimming event

hplasm
Alien

Re: The flying spaghetti monster

That's no moon...it's a meatball!

Skip-wrecked! Boat full o' rubbish scuppered in Brit residential street

hplasm
Megaphone

Re: My hovercraft is full of eels.

My hovercraft is full of eels.

My boat is full of shite.

I really do not want it now,

I'll dump it in the night.

I thangyew!

Cambridge Analytica seeks data protection assistant

hplasm
Devil

Re: I liked your deliberate emphasis on this line

" "an interest in and enthusiasm for data protection".

and it's circumvention...

Implied, not specified...

hplasm
Devil

Re: Guardian article

" destinations where I should start avoiding using my British passport .."

Red or Blue?

hplasm
Big Brother

FTFY

"Well if you've read any of the GDPR stuff, then yes, you need a degree." ..of insanity

hplasm
Happy

Job spec-

"Required education:

Bachelor's""

Bring your own tins of soup.

Microsoft to lock out Windows RDP clients if they are not patched against hijack bug

hplasm
Happy

It took nearly three whole days from patch Tuesday for a fix to arrive via pacman on my PC.

waccka-waccka-waccka

YouTube banned many gun vids, so some moved to smut site

hplasm
Paris Hilton

USA

A right to bear arms --but to right to bare tits!

Now solved.

El Reg deep dive: Everything you need to know about UK.gov's pr0n block

hplasm
Devil

Re: Still at it

"I have nothing to hide."

Your pictures on Grindr agree...

Leaning tower of NASA receives last big arm

hplasm
Coat

Re: Mobile launcher

"The thing won't fit under "normal" overpasses."

The latest overpasses fall down, so it can just go over the wreckage...

(too soon?)

Windows 10 debuts Blue QR Code of Death – and why malware will love it

hplasm
Linux

Re: dump

"that's what the dump is for"

Dumping the Windows PC?

Seems a bit harsh on the hardware...